Last Chance

Chapter 4:

I wake up to my half-full wine glass on my bedside table. The sun is shining brightly outside and it makes my eyes hurt. I get up and get dressed, I pour the wine down the master bedroom’s sink drain and look myself over in the mirror before exiting the bedroom.

I walk down to the guest bedroom and see Jamie tangled, still asleep in the comforter. I thought about leaving him here by himself but decided against it. I push the door open slowly, and it squeaks.

“Hey, kid,” I call. “We got to go get Joel.”

He rolls over without groaning like I’d expect him to consider the time I found him at my door and the day he had yesterday.

“Do you have a coat?” I ask.

He’d shown up in a sweater yesterday, I highly doubt he could fit one into that backpack he’d brought with him.

“No,” he answered honestly.

“Okay, get dressed, I’ll find you something,” I reply.

I go downstairs and dig through the closet looking for one of mine or Joel’s old coats. I take out one for Joel to wear home and place it in the bag of clothing I’m bringing for him to change into before we leave.

Jamie comes downstairs dressed in black jeans and a black pullover. He looks unsure.

“We’ll pick up something to eat on the way there,” I tell him, tossing a coat at him.

I pull my coat on and we both slide our shoes on. We get into our car; Joel’s Toyota Camry has become a vintage priceless decoration in the garage over the past two years. We were worried it wouldn’t start when he went back to work but it still ran as old as it was, I guess now it didn’t matter.

We drove through McDonald's, I only got a sprite for Joel as his stomach didn’t hold much down these days. Both of us got Bacon n’ Eggers and hash browns, I got a coffee, black, I used to put like five sugars, and two creams in it but with the long days I’d stopped diluting it and just drank it to keep me awake, and Jamie got a peppermint hot chocolate.

We drove to the hospital, I carried up Joel’s clothes. I checked in at the front desk. The nurse handed me the release forms. I thanked her. She said the doctor would be by for one last check before we left.

I led Jamie down the hall to the room. I entered, and Joel was awake and happy to see me. Jamie hesitated by the door. He stepped past the curtain.

“Someone showed up at the house last night,” I said quietly pointing towards Jamie.

“Jamie, what are you doing here?” he questioned mystified.

“Came out, got kicked out,” he replied shrugging.

That statement lit a fire in Joel’s eyes. I hadn’t seen him angry in a long time. Probably not since he had been diagnosed and vowed he’d fight till there was no hope.

“Did Kaper say anything?” he asked

“Kaper's picture-perfect. He was never going to say anything,” Jamie replied.

“Who’s Kaper?” I asked.

“His twin brother,” Joel answers.

Was nobody going to fight for them?

“You can stay with us, right?” Joel replied, weakly.

“As long as we don’t get charged with k********g,” I replied.

“They cut me off, it’s not like they care where I am,” Jamie continues.

“Hello, Joel,” the doctor says with a sad smile coming in.

He’s in his mid-forties with graying hair.

“I’d like to talk to you before you leave,” he continues.

Jamie says he’s going to the bathroom and leaves well we chat with the doctor.

“If anything comes up in the next year. Anything we think you should try, we’ll call you. We’re sorry the treatments and surgeries weren’t successful and we wish you and Luka all the best,” he explains quietly.

Joel nods quietly. I’m holding back tears.

“Take it easy,” the doctor says.

“Before you go,” I exclaim. “His parents still won’t see him. I know you’re busy and all, but I was wondering if you’d be willing to go to their house and explain how serious this really is.”

“I’m not sure at this point they’re avoiding you more than the fact that he might be dying. They might not want to watch their son slip away. They might be staying away because they feel guilty, too, that they stayed away and they might think that by being there now they might make it worse. I can try, but as with the treatments, I can’t promise anything,” he explains.

I nod, “Thank you, for everything.”

He nods before leaving with the filled-out release forms. I help Joel up and into the bathroom to dress. Where he once had toned skin and muscle from playing Tennis for years, coaching middle school gym classes, and working out he now had pale, bruised skin and thin limbs. He slipped on the jogging pants that had gone from being exercise pants to being comfortable lounging pants in the past two years. His ribs were poking through his pale skin, I slid a shirt over his arms and head. I knelt down and put his runners on his feet. I stood back up and held his coat so he could slide his arms into the sleeves. I paused before zipping it up. I leaned my head against his. His pale, bloodless, chapped lips moved to meet mine.

“I missed you and home,” he whispers.

“I missed having you at home,” I replied wrapping my arms around him gently careful not to lean on him or hurt him.

He used to be so strong, he used to be able to carry me around, but now he was a ghost of his former self.

“Is it really okay if he stays with us?” he asks.

“Of course, I’m not going to leave the kid out in the cold,” I reply honestly.

“It’s just after everything my family has done to you and me, to just throw a kid at us now, when I’m…” he trailed off.

“We always wanted a kid and we always said we’d adopt an older one because they have fewer chances of being adopted,” I reply with a smile.

He smiles, too.

“He’ll be an adult next year, we wanted a few years with the kid so we could bond at least,” he continues. “So, we were a home and not just a place they lived.”

“Promise me you’ll find somebody new when I’m gone. Don’t stay a widow,” he says suddenly.

“That’s a ways off, calm down. Let’s go home,” I replied.

I took his hand and led him out of the bathroom. I sat him in a wheelchair and wheeled him to the elevator, Jamie following behind us. We took the elevator down to the first floor and I told Jamie to stay with Joel well I went to get the car. I went over to the parkade, started up the car, and turned the heat up so it would be warm by the time I got up to the front of the hospital and got Joel in. I maneuvered through the parking lot to the hospital entrance and parked in front of it. I got out, and Jamie opened the passenger door. I helped Joel up and into the car and then Jamie returned the wheelchair inside the front doors of the hospital.

I got him settled, and comfortable and told him about the sprite in case he wanted some. Jamie came back and got in the back of our car. I got back in the driver’s seat and started the drive back to our house.

Joel’s hair was barely half an inch long and you could still visibly see the last surgery scars. I could see Jamie looking at them in the rear-view mirror. It must have looked pretty scary to someone who wasn’t used to it. It looked even scarier right after the surgery, his head all bandaged up and the staples holding the skin on his head together, he made the joke that he looked like Frankenstein’s monster. He’d joke with the doctors and nurses that that’s what he was for Halloween for two years.

When we arrived home, I handed Jamie the key so he could run ahead and unlock the door well I helped Joel out of the car and to it.

Wyatt pulled up with another batch of computers I needed to repair then.

“Hey, Luka. Hey, Joel,” he said waving.

He got out of his van.

“Where do you want them this time?” he asked.

“Carry them in through the garage, leave them in the hall,” I answered.

I helped Joel up to the front door and inside to the couch, handed him the remote, and set his sprite within reach.

“I’m going to help Wyatt carry the computers in and then I’ll be back, okay?” I told him.

He nodded.

I unloaded the computers from Wyatt’s van with him and gave him back the last few I’d fixed over the past three days since the last drop.

“Who's the kid?” Wyatt asked closing the van’s rear doors.

“Joel’s cousin,” I answered.

“I thought he hadn’t seen his family in years?” Wyatt questions in reply.

“He showed up last night,” I replied not wanting to disclose personal details.

“So, is there any hope of him getting better?” he asks.

“It’s back and it’s stage four. They said they’d call us if they got any ideas but otherwise he has a year,” I answer.

“His parents are crazy. Not wanting to see your kid when they’re dying?” he questions.

I shrug wanting to get back to Joel.

“See you in a few days, Luke,” he comments getting into his van.

I wave him off and go back inside.

Jamie seems to have disappeared back to the guest bedroom, maybe to give us some privacy, alone time.

“Are you hungry?” I ask Joel.

I had stocked up on easily digestible foods since Joel got sick. I had jello, a lot of soup, bananas, fruit cups, etc.

“Can I get a popsicle?” Joel asks. “Only kids get those in the hospital.”

“How about we get some healthy food in you first?” I laugh.

“Fine,” he replies sighing. “I’ll have a fruit cup.”

I smile and go into the kitchen to retrieve him a spoon and fruit cup and a bigger bowl in case it does end up coming back up. I hand him the fruit cup and spoon and set the bowl beside him. He smiles weakly at it. He picks through the fruit cup eating his least favourite fruits first and leaving the cherries for last, it was a habit he had. Surprisingly, it all went down and stayed down.

“Where’s my phone?” he asks. “I should call Jamie’s parents. As much as they kicked him out I’m sure his mother is worried sick.”

I go into the kitchen and take his phone off the charger and bring it back to him. He pulls up someone named Charlotte’s number, who must be Jamie’s mother, and calls her. I can hear the phone ring and ring and ring and it goes to voicemail where Joel leaves a message for Charlotte.

“Hi, Charlotte, this is Joel. Your least favourite nephew. Just so you know Jamie is staying with us, so you don’t worry. Call me if you want to talk about it. Bye,” he says shortly and the first part jokingly.

He places the phone aside clearly annoyed that she didn’t pick up. Not only had they cut me off but him, too. It felt like it was my fault somehow, and his parents did blame me.

“I’ll be right back, okay?” I say and get up to go to the bathroom.

He smiles and nods.

I go upstairs and on my way to the bathroom, Jamie appears.

“He’s not doing good, is he?” Jamie asks.

“No,” I reply quietly. “He’s been sick for two years, we had hope that he was beating a few months ago but it came back and it’s worse, they say he has a year if they don’t find anything that can help him,” I reply honestly.

“I’m glad he has you, nobody deserves to go through something like that alone,” he replies quietly.

“You shouldn’t be alone either,” I reply.

“I have you and Joel and my friends, at least you and them accept me,” he replies. “I’m not alone.”

He was like me when I was a teenager, I still had hope. Joel still believed his parents would come around. I and Joel had learned the hard way and sometimes I wish Joel would have given in, if he had, he would get to spend his last year with his family rather than just me and Jamie.

“You should have more than just us and your friends,” I continue. “Family is important.”

“We know that,” he answers. “Their devotion to whatever they believe in is what matters to them and getting into heaven or whatever.”

“Religion is not the problem, it’s how they interpret it,” I reply. “Some religious people are really accepting. It’s not bad to be religious.”

“I know but it’s one of the main reasons they are the way they are,” he replies.

“I’m just saying some people are religious and still support us or gay and religious. So, as much as they need to be open-minded so do we,” I explain. “I think you should come downstairs and talk with Joel about what happened.”

“Doesn’t he want to rest, isn’t he tired?” Jamie asks.

“The sooner we talk about and sort out what happened and what we’re going to do the better you will feel and the better we’ll know how to help you,” I continue.

“I don’t feel like talking right now,” he replies. “You should go be with him.”

He went back into the guest room and left me in the hall.

This was what I was expecting from a teenager, so knowing what it was like to be a teenager, I left him to his own devices. I went to the bathroom and went back to Joel on the couch, we started to re-watch White Collar, and Peter and Neal’s adventures.