The Dragon King and His Human Mate

14. The Same Thing

| Vladimir |  

I saw Anastasia as she tried tying some woods together in an almost pathetic hope for them to magically turn into a boat, so she could go away from here.

From me.

And she had absolutely no idea how that even worked. She didn't even have ropes or anything else strong enough to tie them down, how did she suppose to build a boat? Just like that, as if it was the easiest thing in the world?

It wouldn't be that hard for me though, over these past one hundred years I had developed the skill of woodworking pretty well. However, that didn't mean I would help her. I was damn selfish. I wanted her. There was no way in hell I was gonna help her escape. For this I was sure.

My dragon wanted her too and I honestly couldn't understand why. 

No, he didn't just want her. He needed her with a burning passion. He needed to claim her his. Just like I did.

And that was so strange because she wasn't our mate. She couldn't be. It was so rare for dragons to have second chance mates, not to say impossible. This was it for us, if we lost our first mate there was no chance in happiness again. At least not with a mate.

Besides, it was clear as day she couldn't be my mate. Otherwise the barrier would break in an instant and I would be free to shift in my human form whenever I wanted. That was the loophole of the spell. I'd be free to go out of here.

Not that I deserved it, anyway.

"You're annoying the hell out of me Vladimir," she shouted to my dragon who hadn't left her side all day long, observing her failing attempts to do something. It was getting dark yet she hadn't given up still.

This woman was so damn stubborn it made me only want to f**k her more right there in that ocean sand. See how good she'd feel underneath me, screaming out my name.

And with these thoughts in my head I just knew I wouldn't be able to stop myself from doing so if I was in my human form right now.

It didn't make it right though. I wasn't the right man for her. I was messed up. So damn messed up that she had to get her stupid boat and get away from me as soon as possible.

Yet I still wouldn't help her.

My dragon put his claws on the sand and sat down beside her. She looked so tiny from up here. So desirable.

Anastasia sighed. "You won't ever leave me alone will you?"

I growled in approval while her stupid boat fell apart right in front of her eyes. The work she had done the whole day just shattered into woods once again.

She sat down and some sobs escaped her lips. "I won't ever get away from here," she looked pained. "I'll be stuck in here forever." She covered her face with the hands and curled into a ball. 

The sight broke my heart and I wanted nothing more but to find a way to put a smile on her face.

Could I blame her though?

She was stuck in a desert island. With a monster that didn't know what he wanted. That whatever he'd do, he'd only cause her pain.

I rubbed my gigantic head softly on her arms and back until she had stopped sobbing. The she wrapped her arms around my face and leaned her face on mine.

I couldn't understand how she could still stand me after I did. Twice. Yet she seemed like she couldn't stay away from my dragon. Like she was somehow very fond of him. Which made my dragon wag his tail like a little puppy.

"I like you much more than the human inside you," she whispered to my dragon. I grinned widely, yet she wasn't scared of my big teeth. She only cuddled with my face until she fell asleep on the sand.

I breathed fire onto the woods so I could keep her calm and covered her body with one of my wings, mimicking a blanked. I only fell asleep when I felt her body had warmed up underneath my dragonish one.

*******

| Anastasia | 

When I opened my eyes, my body was cuddled in Vladimir's. Not in his dragon's, literally in his human form's naked body. And I loved how it made my body burn everywhere. Not because of his unnatural warmth, but because how much I desired him.

Even though I knew I shouldn't.

"Vladimir." I tried getting away from his firm arm around my belly. "Let go of me."

"Nope." He sounded sleepy as he only pulled me to his body more. I shivered. "You stay here with me."

If only he could say that when he was awake instead of pushing me away.

Maybe he even thought that was his mate around his arms. And that only broke my already broken heart.

"No I won't," I pushed him away. No matter what, I had promised myself I wouldn't let him play with me anymore.

And I wouldn't.

Vladimir finally opened his beautiful light blue eyes that fell on my face instantly.

"What do you think you're doing?" I sounded harsh. Exactly like I wanted to.

He sighed, looking away almost guiltily. "You were freezing, Anastasia." Strangely, he looked almost worried. "You shouldn't sleep out in the open anymore. You'll get sick and I don't know what I'll be able to do then."

"Why does it even matter to you?" I quirked an eyebrow.

"Of course it matters to me, stop saying that it doesn't," he demanded.

"Oh right? It matters to you until you think about your beloved mate and you push me away like I'm some sort of infection that will poison your memories with her." I was still angry.

His eyes widened. "What the hell are you talking about, I'd never think about you like that," he shouted. "And stop mentioning her all the time damn it." His gaze pierced into me. But I didn't care at this point.

"Why not?" I chuckled. "Because it reminds you how you killed her?"

Vladimir froze.

In a second I knew I had said the thing that hurt him the most.

But I did want to hurt him. Why did I feel guilty now that his expression changed to a pained one?

He made some steps back before turning in his heels to leave.

"Yeah, of course, leave," I shouted. "Run away. It's what you do best anyway."

The he stopped.

I expected him to turn and his outburst to be the worst I had had from him so far, but he actually just looked away at the ocean. Better, at the end of the ocean. At the other part of the world.

"I didn't kill her." It was more of a mutter that I almost didn't hear.

But I did, actually.

"W-What?"

"I didn't kill her," he repeated, a little louder this time.

"But—"

"That doesn't make me less responsible that she's dead though."

This didn't make any sense. This just couldn't be true. He was here in the first place because she had killed her. Everyone knew that.

"I don't understand," I muttered.

"It doesn't matter. Just know that I would never hurt someone I love on purpose. Let alone kill them." He made an attempt to leave once again.

I run my hand through my messy red hair. "Just talk for goodness' sake. You have been in here alone for a century. Don't you wanna talk to someone?"

He hesitated, his eyes never meeting mine. "You wouldn't wanna listen about it," he shook his head as to convince himself that it wasn't a good idea telling me. "You would see me... differently."

My eyes widened and slowly, I approached him. Until his eyes had no other choice but to look into mines. "Vladimir, until now I had thought you had killed your true mate, yet here I am," my voice sounded soft. "What could be worse than that?"

A really small smile crept into his face as he sat down on the wet sand, were the ocean waves could play with our feet.

I sat down beside him. I didn't know how much I wanted to hear for his mate. That it'd hurt, I knew, yet I still wanted to know what had happened. I wanted to see he was a good person inside. Broken, but good. Just like I had thought since the beginning.

"Tell me," I whispered.

He inhaled deeply. "Her name was Cordelia," he whispered. Even her name was beautiful. "She was just a simple villager. A witch. She lived only with grandmother." I knew this much. "Everything was good at the first month. I stayed at their kingdom for her. We would meet everyday at the lake and talk and..." he trailed off. 

Yeah, I knew what he meant. Jealousy flew inside my body but I tried keeping a straight face. It was no use getting jealous over a girl dead for over a hundred years now. 

"The only thing she asked for me was not to mark her. At least until we'd marry and I'd make her my queen. I didn't know why she looked a bit uncomfortable with the idea of me marking her but I guess because the idea of getting away from her small house and be a queen and all that was really new to her." 

Something sounded strange about that. I didn't know much about the mating bond but I knew shifters or witches loved their mates at first sight.

And if it'd be me, I would want him to mark me in an instant.

That thought scared me. A lot. I wasn't his mate; I didn't have to think about that at all.

"What happened then?" I asked when he hesitated. His eyes held pain buried deep into them and I found myself wanting to wipe it out of them. Make them smile.

"One day she just stopped wanting me."

I gasped. You couldn't just stop wanting your mate. It didn't work like that.

He looked at me then. "She kept telling me that it was a mistake. That we weren't meant to be. That she didn't love me, but had pretended all the time because she was afraid of me. And..."

I touched his strong forearm gently. "And?"

"I kind of become stalkerish. I wanted answers. I wanted her to want me. But she kept pushing me away," he explained. "Then... then I tried getting her to come with me by force. I thought that maybe if she came at my castle and see that she'd be happy with me and I'd treat her right she'd change her mind. I didn't know what I was doing, obviously, I was a selfish fool." The breath got caught on my throat as his eyes watered. "Cordelia... maybe she might've thought I'd force myself on her or I don't know something like that. She stabbed herself. In her heart. Right in front of my very own eyes."

I was left dumbstruck for a few seconds, just before I wrapped my arms around his naked body and pulled his head on my chest, stroking his long blonde hair softly. He looked lost. So guilty. So little. No matter how big his body was, he still looked little. And I wanted with everything in me to ease the pain inside his heart.

"I swear I'd never hurt her," he murmured. "Never. I'm not that kind of person, Anastasia." He sobbed in my chest like a little boy.

"Shh Vladimir," I shushed him. "I know, okay. I know."

"But she still killed herself because of me. The same as if I would have killed her myself."

"No." I tightened my hold around his body more. "No you didn't kill her, Vladimir. Stop blaming yourself, you have done so for the past one hundred and seven years. It's enough already." I suddenly knew. Why he pushed me away. Why he couldn't let go of her. It was more guilt than love. If he tried to move on the guilt would eat him inside. "What you did was wrong, forcing her to come with you. I won't lie about that," I softly said. "But you didn't kill her. You never meant to harm her."

He shook his head however. "I did. If I had just left alone she'd have lived. She'd be happy. But I was too selfish to do so. I did kill her, even if I wasn't the one who put that knife inside her chest."

I kissed the top of his head as I kept stroking his hair. "You didn't," I kept repeating until he had calmed down. "Then her grandmother and everyone else thought you killed her, right?" I asked, even though I knew the answer. "And you never denied it. You let them think you had stabbed her instead."

"It's the same thing," he shrugged. How couldn't he understand it wasn't the same thing? That he had wasted a century of his life imprisoned when he hadn't even committed the crime in the first place?

Why couldn't he understand he deserved better? That he had to put an end to his misery? Himself?