Caged

I couldn't scream. Not anymore, my throat felt raw and dry from overuse. For what felt like eternity, my arms, legs, and every part of my being were lashed at with the braided leather of the whip, which belonged to the man who I once viewed as my own father. His heavy breathing filled the air, seemingly tired from treating me like the poor animals in his circus. “Did you really think you could get away? You're a nobody. who would ever want someone who worked in a circus for their entire life?” He said each word with a crack of his whip, “You’re nothing without me, sunshine.” When I thought he was done, he returned with more, lashing at my legs. With each hit I winced, too tired to fight back anymore. The cuts on my hands and arms are enough proof of my earlier struggle with him. My body continued to tremble, I'm not sure if it was from the cold or from how scared I was. I was huddled in the corner of one of the unused cages he stored behind the circus tent, away from any prying eyes. Trying in vain to make myself as small as possible. Once I felt him pause in his actions, I looked up at him through my hair. He stood above me, his face red and sweaty. Complete resentment in his eyes as he looked down at me. I hated him more than anything at that very moment. “Don't you dare try to leave again.” He said through gritted teeth as he ran a wrinkled hand through his greased up hair. “Or what you’ve faced tonight, will seem like child’s play.” I said nothing. I simply glared at him. Hoping that the hatred in gaze would cause him to ignite into flames. However, that didn't happen. He merely turned for the door, pausing before he left, “ I won’t hesitate to leave scars on that pretty face of yours, kid.” With that said he slammed the door shut, locking it before he made his way back towards the circus tent, where the screams and cheers of the clueless audience could be heard. Unknown to them the horrors that happened just a couple hundred feet away. With each movement, my arms and legs stung. I let out a shaky breath as I repositioned myself. I couldn't help but blame myself for not leaving sooner. I was a fool who put too much trust in a man whose only concern was how much he earns a night. It was dark and the moon was my only source of light and comfort. I brushed strands of my hair away from my face, smearing blood against my cheeks as my cuts were still bleeding. Everything hurt, and my future was uncertain. So it wasn't any surprise when I could feel tears threatening to burst. Despite my best efforts, I gave in and let them fall. My thoughts returning to the events of this morning. How I wish things played out differently. ~~~ The morning went normal like usual. I had been inside my caravan, getting ready like always. Except this time, I was getting the courage to tell Theo that I would be retiring from the circus. I had been saving every cent that I could get my hands on. Theo paid us, sure, but it wasn’t nearly enough to live off of. This is how he kept us dependent on him. He provided us with most necessities, and while I was grateful, I always felt like I was missing something in life. He kept me away from television, forbade me from going into town when we traveled to new locations. Kept me away from learning how much better life was without him. However, when I was 15 and felt daring enough, I snuck away. I Walked the streets of the small town we were performing in. seeing just how much better everyone else was living. From that moment, I made up my mind. I needed to go. As I brushed my hair in front of the small mirror above the sink in the only home I've known. My mind began to think back to when I was a child. Theo said I was an orphan, sleeping on the streets. If it wasn't for him I would still be out there. I’m not sure how much truth that holds. But it's the only thing I know of where I come from. When I try to think back to who my mother was, a strange feeling of emptiness fills my chest. I try not to think about it. Once I had finished getting ready, I made sure my bags were packed. Not like I had much to pack. Only another pair of shoes and some dresses. Gifted to me from the carnies, despite their meager pay. Thinking of them made me feel guilty. They were like the family I never had, but I had to do this if I wanted to make something with my life. I quickly shook the thought from my head and reached for the small pickle jar I used to keep my money, and placed it in the small black carpet bag amongst my clothes. Shutting it before placing it underneath my bed. As soon as I walked out the door, the smell of breakfast wafted into my nose. my stomach soon reminded me that I hadn’t had anything to eat that morning. But I was too nervous to eat. I had to get this done and out of the way before I could truly relax. I stood before theo’s trailer, my heart dropped into my stomach. My hands started to dampen. I wiped my hands on my dress. I sucked in a breath before climbing the three steps leading to the front door, before I could knock, the hum of conversation stilled my hand. Slowly inching my way towards the voices till I could make out what they were saying. "-I know how much she means to you, so I just thought you should know..She really is serious about leaving." An unknown voice explained. A feeling of dread began to build inside of me. How did they know I was leaving? Another voice spoke, this one I recognized as Theo's, and he didn't sound happy. "Damn her! All I did for her, and this is how she will repay me?!" The sudden sound of glass shattering made me jump. my heart was beating so loud in my ears; I was sure they could hear it thump against my chest. "Don't worry," Theo continued, "Anita is our money maker, I wouldn’t let her go so easily.” A chill ran up my spine as I imagined the oily smile forming on his face, “ She’s the one that brings in the crowds. How could we let our main attraction leave just like that?" He sighed and hit his fist against the side of the trailer in frustration. "Find her, tell her to meet with me after our last show of the night. I'll make sure she learns her lesson; she cannot leave me so easily." He spat out each word. "Will do, sir." replied the unidentified carnie. They said their goodbyes and I listened as they went their separate ways. As the sound of their footsteps faded, I quickly turned on my heel and ran back to my caravan. Shutting the door behind me. I quickly scanned the room; my bags were packed and ready to go. I quickly reached for it and placed it on my bed, for easier access once I was ready to leave. I paused, I took a look around my caravan and felt a stab of uncertainty. I’ve never known anything but this, how could I possibly make it by myself? No, I shouldn't think like that. I had to be tough. I was finally doing something for myself and there was no turning back after tonight. That night, as I finished my act, I broke away from the rest of the carnies.I didn’t care that I was still in my costume, I needed to leave as quickly as I could. I turned back to look behind me as I headed towards the rear opening of the tent, making sure Theo, or anyone else, wasn’t around to catch me leaving. He was always adamant that everyone stayed inside when a show was taking place. I paused as the cold night air hit my face. Taking a moment to process what I was about to do. How I was about to leave everything I knew behind. I let out a shaky breath as I looked around and made haste towards my caravan. I quickly opened and shut the flimsy door. My heart had never beat so hard as it did in that very moment, threatening to burst out at any second. I quickly began to slip out of the skintight bodysuit. Cursing as I struggled. This had always been a two person job. Sweating as I felt the minutes tick by. I soon let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, as I finally managed the suit off. Discarding it to the side as I slipped a simple black T shirt dress over my head and stepped into my shoes. Slowly opening the door, I looked out and made sure no one was around. I quickly went down the stairs and shut the door. However, before I could take another step, a voice spoke from behind me. "Well, Anita, out of all the people who have betrayed me, I never would have thought you would be one of them." My blood ran cold.I didn’t dare turn around. I already knew who would be behind me "Theo." the name came out in a whisper, as if speaking it any louder would cause the gates of hell to open and pull me in. my body began to tremble, afraid of what he might do next. He wasn’t afraid to give out punishments, in fact, he seemed to enjoy it. Theo placed a large hand on my shoulder, and squeezed. If he used any more force he would have easily bruised my skin. "My dove, where do you think you're going? After everything I gave you; a home, a job.” His grip tightened, “ This is how you decide to repay me?" I gritted my teeth, afraid to show any type of fear. He leaned down so his mouth was near my ear. "I Will not lose my main attraction." He hissed as he grabbed my arm, digging his fingers into my flesh. I cried out in pain, but no one heard. The sound of the crowd inside muffled my screams for help. I struggled against him, flailing around, trying to get away. I desperately hit him with my bag, but it was no use. He was much stronger than I was. I had been caught. He took me out back, into the fields of unused cages, and threw me inside. He didn't waste time throwing my bag out into the bushes, reaching for his whip, and beginning his attack on my skin; leaving me scarred and bloodied. ~~~ Tears were now streaming down my face. How could this man, who supposedly saved me from life on the streets and raised me from the age of 5, end up leaving me wounded; Trapped in a steel cage meant for animals. A twig snapped behind me, pulling me from my self pity party. Heart thundering in my chest, I quickly turned, ignoring the pain in my arms and legs. I would have guessed it was a wild animal, a raccoon or possibly theo coming back to lash me some more. What I didn't expect was a man, a stranger. He stood there, a few feet from the cage, staring, looking at me with wide eyes. His mouth slightly agape. Perhaps surprised to find a blooded woman inside a cage. I was frozen, I couldn't do much but stare, his eyes were the prettiest shade of green and they seemed to hold me in a trance. However, I soon pulled myself together. I couldn’t let my guard down just because he has a pretty face. Still, I didn't have many options here. I’d just have to hope he wasn't someone with ill intentions.