Phoenix of Dawn

Noble Blood

    The time I spent in the front seat of the hot wired car while my aunt slowly withered away in the back seat really put things into perspective. I'd had time to think while the sky changed from clear, to gray to dusky. I'd had time to consider everything as the world flew by in it's oblivious existence. It was merely a setting for the story of my life, an innocent bystander, a neutral party that was only there to watch but not interfere. I wished the ground would swallow me up and grant me a haven from those that would hurt me but it was a cold and unforgiving stage to the events that were destined to unfold. 

    The lake extended between Clinton and Warsaw Missouri and we were coming up on it fast a furious, trying to beat the sunset. 

    "How do we know where to go," I asked, more to myself than to the guy sitting beside me. 

    We couldn't exactly send a signal. That would be like gambling with fate and hoping the right people saw our giant sign shouting "here we are!"

    "Easy. We go where nature loving people would blend right in," Axel explained simply.

    I stared down at the map, "The wildlife management area?"

    He sent me a sharp look at the sound of my uncertainty, "Well do you have any better ideas? I'm just trying to get us to safety and save your aunt."

    I was ready to pop off and tell him just how I felt about his attitude but my mouth clamped shut. He had been driving for two days straight and not to mention the lack of sleep I'm sure he got getting us to the United States while I was unconscious. 

    As much as I hated it...

    "I know, thank you for everything."

    I didn't have to look to know he was looking at me like I was an alien.

    Heaving a sigh I went on, "Look. I'm not a fan of you but I'm grateful that you came along and saved my life and that you're currently trying to save my aunt's. Okay? Lets not make a big deal out of this."

    His lips pressed together, "Okay."

    I smoothed the map in my life and trailed the roads with my finger, "If we're going to the park then you should continue on till the third exit from here."

    He gave me a curt nod. 

    "I will blame you if she dies though."

    He glared at me.

    "Well, you're driving like a grandpa!"

    "I'm going ninety-eight, Kyra, what do you want from me?"

    I fell back, "I don't know. I want... I want food. You know? Like an actual meal and an actual bed and just a moment where I don't have to look over my shoulder."

    The car was silent. 

    What was I even thinking confessing all of that? I wasn't one to complain. I had plenty to be grateful for. Like the air in my lungs and the fact that all my limbs are accounted for. 

    I was about to tell him to forget what I said when he cleared his throat.

    "I'll do everything I can to make that happen for you."

    There was a moment I wanted to protest but the words would have been pointless. Telling him not to worry about it would have implied that I believed he would actually follow through with such a promise. It wasn't as if I doubted Axel, he'd given me no reason to, but the circumstances didn't promote such possibilities. 

    "You deserve an actual bed too," I muttered, "Maybe we can just find one together."

    My eyes went wide on the red break lights ahead as my words filtered around the car. My brain was mush from everything that had happened in the last several days. That's what I would chock that obvious mistake up to.

    When I shifted in my seat, readying to explain away my fumbled words I stopped short at the tight twist of Axel's mouth as he struggled to maintain his composure. Was he trying not to laugh at me? 

    My brow furrowed.

    "I didn't mean it like that."

    That seemed to be the straw that broke the camel's back. No. Not laughter, anger. Or was it frustration? Was there really even a difference? 

    "Then what did you mean," He hissed through gritted teeth.

    His obvious irritation had me confounded. It had been an honest mistake so why was he acting like I'd said something offensive? Had I? Was sharing a bed with me offensive to him? He did keep calling me a child...

    "I just meant I'd return the favor and find you a bed to sleep in too."

    What the hell was up with this guy making me second guess every word that came out of my mouth? Who the f**k cared if I offended him? He could cry me a damn river and I would happily wash the grim from the past few days off in his river of tears. 

    I think I need sleep...

    "I think I can manage on my own."

    "I'm sure you can."

    With a sudden yank of the wheel he took the exit I'd informed him about a few minutes before. My shoulder knocked against the door and forced a hiss of air from between my teeth as I checked in on Claira. She was fine but I was seconds from murdering our reckless ride. 

    "Would you calm down," I snapped, "I'm sorry I offended you by somehow, accidentally insinuating that we would be sharing a bed but believe me that is the last thing I'd want. I'm tired and distracted by all the hell falling in around me and I didn't word that right but could you please put your obvious distaste for me aside to drive like a person who actually cares about the dying woman in the back seat?"

    The muscle in his jaw twitched, "Kyra, I'm--"

    "No. I think it's best we don't talk the rest of the ride. It's clear we're both exhausted and I'd rather focus on fighting my enemy than fighting some arrogant ass hole."

    He sighed, the words falling out of his mouth dripping with regret, "Kyra, listen I--"

    "No. I don't care."

    Yes... yes you do.

    My eyes shut for a moment. 

    No. I don't.

    We were quiet the remainder of the drives aside from my monotone directions. I'd thought that maybe Axel and I would get along after our little bonding moment from earlier in the day but it seemed that would not be the case. Why he was so determined to misunderstand every word I said, I wasn't sure. Who even cared if I'd actually meant what he thought I did with that statement? It wasn't like sharing a bed with me would be the end of the world for him and why he would ever assume I'd consider sharing anything with him was beyond me. I was only interested in saving my aunt and getting away from him with all his arrogant glory. 

    Perhaps I'd felt a little happy that I'd finally had someone who understood some fraction of what I'd gone through with Ky. Perhaps I'd felt a little less alone in the torment I'd been carrying since the day he'd taken my from my family. 

    Was that so wrong? Was it so wrong to let myself actually think that someone out there could relate to me? 

    I had even admired him a little. Now I realized that maybe he hadn't made it out of his conditioning as whole as I'd thought. Maybe he truly didn't know how to socialize with people, especially girls. Were Ky's warriors even allowed to date? Was that even a thing? Imagining that Ky allowed his higher ranks to dabble in something so... mushy. 

    My brow furrowed. Why was I thinking about something so mushy?

    Love?

    No. I'd always had some small thought in the back of my mind that maybe I had a mate somewhere out there looking for me but I wasn't looking for him. What kind of life could I give some perfectly whole person? There was even the chance that that someone was behind enemy lines. 

    Love might start wars but love did not survive wars. 

    Maybe they were already dead anyways. 

    I looked back at Claira for what felt like the millionth time. I'd watched her mate die, my uncle. We both had. He'd been there one moment and then he was gone, leaving a gaping hole in my aunt that would never be quite mended. I'd watched her try to put back together the pieces and watched as nothing ever seemed quite right with her again.  Who would want to seek such a thing out? 

    "Bullshit."

    Axel turned to me, noting the mumble of words that had just spilled from me.

    "What is?"

    With a sigh I turned back to the front, "The whole mate thing. I don't really want to find mine."

Axel shifted in his seat, "Why not?"

    "The odds of my mate being behind enemy lines is pretty great, not to mention they'd likely die if they aren't already dead," I shrugged, "Besides I don't really know of a world were I could just be happy with someone. There's too much. No one would want that. I'd be rejected. Also, the whole point of finding your mate is to make a bunch of babies and I don't think I'd make a very good mom. Maybe a distant aunt but a mom? No way."

    Somewhere in the middle of all my rambling it began to dawn on me that maybe Axel had already found his mate. Maybe he'd already lost his? 

    "What about you," I asked.

    "I don't know. I guess there's validity in your points. I can agree it would be pointless with this war going on but maybe that's the whole point of it. To find some sense of happiness among all this chaos and pain."

    "So I take it you haven't found your mate yet then," I inquired.

    "No."

    I didn't press him any further, he was doing that white knuckled grip of death on the steering wheel. At first I'd find this little insight into his mood intriguing but now it was almost comforting as I added another tally to the mental track record I was keeping. I wondered on some level if he was so easily frustrated by everyone or if it was a special talent I seemed to hold over him. It inspired some small spark in me to know I had such an effect on such a controlled specimen such as Axel. 

    We had been driving through fairly open area for most of the drive from Virginia so to be suddenly immersed in the trees again was oddly refreshing. Maybe it was the whole wolf thing but something about being surrounded by trees was soothing. It felt safe and familiar. I longed for the day that I would be able run through those trees as a wolf, the way I was meant to. 

    I wasn't really sure which pack I belonged to any more. All I knew was that it was not the same as Claira's. She's apparently married into the Blue Pack that reigned over the North. She was from Lux, an enormous city that was said to be very beautiful with white stone and clear waters. Claira would tell me stories about it with that wistful dreamy look in her eyes. I wanted to see it for myself and wondered if maybe that's where I'd be going "back" to. 

    Would Axel have that answer at least?

    "Do you know if..." I paused, recalling our previous conversation.

    He didn't want to know where I'd be or what the plan was. Did he even know I was going back to Eden or did he think the base was only a pit-stop in grand tour of escape?

    A single brow lifted in confusion on his stupidly glorious face, "What?"

    I pressed my lips into a firm line and shook my head, "Nothing. I changed my mind."

    A snort came from his side of the car, "You changed your mind?"

    His tone struck a chord with me and I found myself biting his bate before I could even sniff out the trap he'd laid.

    "I can change my mind."

    He shrugged with mocking nonchalance, "Sure. Makes you seem a bit indecisive and incapable of thinking things through but... sure. You changed your mind."

    Goddamn. He could turn me from a trained assassin to petulant child with one sentence.

    "Fine. I was going to ask if you--knew where we were headed after this."

    If he noticed my alteration of phrasing mid-sentence then he didn't let on. Sure, I was annoyed and behaving like a untrained toddler but I would still try to protect him.

    He frowned in disappointment, "Eden."

    My lips pursed, "I thought you said you didn't want that kind of info so you wouldn't be at risk of compromising me? Seems like you already know everything."

    He shifted, "I told you I keep tabs."

    "Why?"

    He was silent, hands tightening on the wheel.

    "If its such a risk for you then why would you keep tabs? I'm assuming you weren't planted so you could keep tabs on me. You could easily do that by... oh, I don't know... being stationed at my side."

    His eyes flashed to me, "That's not really an option."

    "Why not? If you're so interested in tabs then why not be a tab?"

    "You aren't even making any sense now," He snapped, visibly frustrated.

    "Well neither are you."

    I swear he looked like he might combust. Straight flames, hotter than the sun seemed to be rolling behind his honey eyes. I worried his grip would finally snap the steering wheel in two but I couldn't help but want the answers burning in his eyes. I'd reach into the fire to fish out the scraps of truth he held in that rage. 

    "You want the truth?"

    "Yes."

    The hunger for the truth that gnawed at my insides was shocking as I gave Axel my full attention. His whole demeanor seemed to have shifted in the split second it took for him to douse the flames and choose to tell me whatever it was I'd sensed from the moment we met. 

    The swirling warmth in those suddenly inviting eyes had my cheeks flushing as they inspected me. 

    "Kyra, I--f**k!"

    The breaks squealed in protest as they were thrown in to harsh action, struggling to bring the speeding car to a halt. Standing in the middle of the narrow road was a black wolf very similar to Axel's except the eyes were chocolaty brown rather than honey bee gold. 

    He didn't move as he stood there watching the car swerve to a jerky stop. I braced my palms on the dash to keep my nose from cracking against the hard plastic. 

    "Holy shit..."

    I was gasping, staring back at my aunt who was seemingly untouched. Thank the lord because if she'd been injured any further I'd likely murder the hulking beast in the road. As it stood I was still furious and found myself wrenching back the door as soon as we'd stopped. 

    "Are you insane," I screeched, "You could have killed my aunt. You can't just stand in the middle of the damn street like that. What if a human saw you? What if you'd actually f*****g hurt someone? I could kill you for that stunt."

    The unidentified wolf stood there staring at me with silent amusement. I wasn't even sure this was an ally, for all I knew one of Ky's wolves had caught up to us finally. 

    "Kyra," Axel warned from behind me.

    My fists clenched at the worry in his voice, "You think I'm afraid of him because he's a big fat wolf and I can't shift? It doesn't matter if I'm on two legs or four, I will still kick your ass from here to Eden."

    A gesture similar to an eye roll fell across the wolves face, carrying the shift with it. This wolf seemed to move through the transition as easily as Axel... well maybe not that easily. Axel's shift was like the graceful evolution of interpretive dance while this was more like the graceful evolution of a rock number. This difference in shifting was the first glimpse of the complete polarity between Axel and the dark haired man now before me.

    This man was everything, it seemed, that Axel strove not to be and yet he regarded my traveling companion with such familiarity that it put a startled stop to my irritation. The car door behind me slammed shut, jumping me out of the sudden stupor I had found myself in 

    "Sam," Axel's tone was more a blunt regard of this person's existence than a greeting to match the spark of kinship in the dark haired boy's brown eyes.

    I looked between the two varied expressions. Axel's was the same blank mask but Sam's was one of joy, a s**t eating grin spreading across his face.

    "Axel! You're back? I thought you weren't do for a check in for another few weeks!"

    I felt my head might fly off with the way it was ping ponging back and forth, trying to put together the missing pieces. 

    Wait...

    "Due back," I looked over at Axel with accusing eyes, "I thought you were keeping tabs? I thought you said you were supposed to be keeping tabs but not too many tabs in order to--"

    "Not right now," Axel snapped at me. 

    "Keeping tabs," Sam's brow furrowed, "On her?"

    "Lets chat in a more secure location," Axel warned in a low tone, "Besides, Claira's been wounded badly by a Beastbane. She needs medical attention quickly."

    I watched Sam stride over to the back seat of the car to take a look at my aunt still confused about his relationship with Axel. Nothing Axel had been telling me made any sense. He'd said he was keeping tabs on me. He'd made it seem like that was part of his job but now Sam was making it seem like that couldn't be further from the truth. In fact...

        "...Nothing like what you guys had to through..."

        How long had Axel been in Ky's army? How long had he been keeping tabs on me? Come to think of it... why didn't we have any more run ins since he arrived? 

    Axel's eyes met mine over the top of the car and lingered with equal suspicion. How do I make sure he stays behind while Sam gets my aunt to a doctor at the base? How do I then find the base after dealing with Axel? 

    He hadn't even known that this base existed. 

    My stomach twisted as I watched Sam pick up my aunt. 

    Was he even an ally? Was this all a trick?

    My fingers twitched for the blade at my side. Something didn't sit right with me about all of this. It was too easy and the more I watched Sam handle my aunt the more anxious I became. 

    I followed them cautiously, my eyes barely leaving Claira's pale form ahead. It was all too simple. It was all too easy. They were only a few paces ahead going back and forth about other people I assumed were mutual friends. 

    Several minutes into our walk in the wilderness Axel glanced back at me, checking that I was still present.

    Arrogant prick.

    My fingers gripped the knife's handle as he turned back to the front. I wasn't one for trust, it was a luxury I couldn't afford. 

    Sam started to slow before a collection of large rocks before instructing Axel to pull back the largest of the cluster. My heart was racing watching Axel pushed aside the rock before standing aside to allow Sam to enter.

    This was my chance.

    I stepped up to follow Sam, the blade slipping out as I readied myself to confront Axel and block him from following my aunt any further.

    "Kyra."

    I froze, Axel's eyes were on me knowingly. 

    "I know this has all been really hard on you and I just wanted to apologize for the way I behaved when we first met. I don't exactly socialize in my line of work..."

    What... the... hell...?

    I slipped the knife back in, "I gave you a chance because my aunt trusts you but that doesn't mean I trust you. I know firsthand the s**t you'd have to go through to be trusted by Ky and if you think for a second I believe you came out with your morals intact then you'd be a fool. Give me one second to doubt you and I will end you in that moment."

    Axel studied me for what seemed like forever and I hated that I couldn't read his expression to know what it was he was thinking. 

    "You can trust me, Kyra. I would never do anything to hurt you."

    After another moment I decided to put my paranoid feelings aside and catch up with my aunt. The dirt hall was cramped and even I had to hunch over a little to fit through. The smell of mud gave me some sick idea of what it might feel like to be buried alive. I'd never been very claustrophobic but in that moment the feeling swarmed me. Flashes of Ky's harsh punishments overcame me. Weakness had to be driven out by any means necessary. I couldn't remember when the memory was from but only the feel of my chest tightening and my tiny fists pounding against the hard surface of the door.

    My throat was dry and scratchy as if I'd been screaming for hours. It felt like I couldn't breathe. An invisible hand crushed my windpipe making it difficult to drag in oxygen. Was there even any oxygen to breathe in here? 

    I needed to get out. I needed to breathe.

    My eyes burned.

    Where's Claira?

    I still couldn't see her ahead. Every thought I'd once been so sure about blurred and dulled in my mind into a big gray mess. Was Axel behind me? Was this a trap? Was there even anyone here to f*****g help me? I needed out. Why would they bring me here if this was supposed to be a safe place? This was a trap. It had to be!

    The feeling of insanity bloomed in my chest and added to pressure cracking my ribs. 

    I was seconds from screaming out when I finally stumbled out of the small walkway and fell to my knees on smooth stone floors. My chests expanded fully, the influx of air spinning my head round and round like a windmill. 

    "Kyra?"

    The sound was muffled in my ears but I looked up at it's source with wide eyes but I couldn't see it past the looming silhouette in my in my minds eye. 

    Get up you sniveling little b***h. Pathetic waist of my genes.

    "Kyra."

    The hands on my shoulders were firm and burning, bringing me back from whatever hellish nightmare I'd stumbled into. Gentle fingertips brushed back the loose strands of my hair and warmed the ice in my flesh. 

    "I'm sorry," I murmured, "I'm okay."

    I blinked back the leftover fog of my thoughts, clearing my vision to take in the golden features of the untrustworthy bastard, Axel. The urge to shove him off me flooded me but for some reason my body wouldn't move to shove away the hand at my back or broaden the small space between our faces. 

    "You don't have to be sorry," He said in a hushed tone, the molten honey melting my bones.

    "Is she okay?"

    A woman I didn't know came running, her tight dark ringlets bouncing as she came to halt before me and grinned. It was a smile meant to calm me and maybe it would have if her hand hadn't fallen so casually on Axel's shoulder. I felt the first twinge of jealousy I'd ever experienced flare within me and wanted nothing more than to toss her across the room. 

    "You poor little thing," She frowned down at me, her ebony skin sparkling, "You've been through so much."

    Rationally I knew she meant nothing by it. I knew she was just some down home motherly type but it felt condescending to me. It felt like she was simply asserting that she was better than me merely in age or maturity. 

    I rose to my feet, the effects of my episode practically gone and met her gaze. She was an inch or two taller, most wolves were. I was small, it was true.

    "I'm not poor or little," I growled at her.

    Her smile faltered, "Oh."

    Axel stood up, his arm snaking around her for a warm hug that had my blood boiling.

    Get over yourself. You don't even trust him.

    "I can't believe you're here, Bex. It's good to see you."

    My arms crossed on instinct. Why did she get such a warm greeting while everyone else received some formal acknowledgement and attitude? What made her so special?

    "I came to escort her back," Bex informed, "Sam too."

    I was about done listening to all this.

   "Where is my aunt?"

    Bex sent me an award winning smile, "Jeez, Axel, did you rub off your talent for conversation on her already?"

    Annoyed I brushed past them both and headed further into the room I'd stumbled into and froze. My eyes took in the vast hall before me lined with stone pillars and various doors. The entire room  held multiple tables with people eating or chatting or reading. It was all very rustic with polished dark wood and bright lights hanging from the ceiling. 

    "Holy s**t," I muttered.

    "Come on, not so little or poor thing," Bex chimed, skipping ahead of me, "I'll take you to your aunt and then we have some major catching up to do, Mister."

    I watched Axel follow after her without so much as a care for me and felt a very small and very vulnerable part of myself fall. 

    I'm so f*****g fucked...