Leading Light Of Dawn

Chapter Seven

Saphires POV :

How do you get someone off your mind?

How do you force the thoughts of them to stop plaguing your mind? How do you force your body to have an internal shut down? Well you cant. When you love someone no matter how far away they are from you, your brain and heart simply refuse to accept that they are not within reaching distance. So to deal with this the heart forces the brain to conjure up all sorts of weird and wild ideas. Memories of the past, dreams for the future and thoughts of a happy ending that before that person was seemingly impossible.

At the moment that seems to be happening to me right now.

Jordans parents sit on the benches in front of his room with my parents sitting opposite them. As soon as they got here I filled them in on the situation. All that’s left is a waiting game.

Waiting for the doctors to tell us that hes fine and for him to come back to me.

Its been three hours. He has been stuck in there with a bunch of doctors for three hours and we still don’t know whats going on with him. Im assuming that flat line was just a decrease in his heartbeat and not complete failure.

Unable to handle his moms sobs any longer, I make a break for the exit. In the parking lot with the wind hitting me it helps to relieve some of the pressure. I don’t know how long I sat there on the concrete floor but I soon came to when a felt a jacket being thrown over my shoulders. I look up to find none other than kyle. The one who for once in his life decided to be nice to me. Suspecting of his behaviour I decided to call him out on it

.

“Since when are you nice to anyone besides your eye candy for the day?”

“Low blow” he said chuckling while simultaneously taking a seat next to me.

“But to answer your question, I have always wanted to treat you the way you deserve to be treated but that isn’t my place” now that was the most confusing thing he has ever said to me.

“What in the grand scheme of the milky way is that supposed to mean? You telling me that I deserved to be treated right which may be the truth but despite knowing this you decided to be mean? Bully me? Make my life miserable?”

“Ouch…it couldn’t have been that bad…”

It must have been the increased stress but the laughter that bubbled out of me at that point was way beyond my control.

“Seriously? Wasn’t that bad? You made my life hell from the second I stepped through the doors of that high school. Whether it was bumping into me in the corridors, name calling or somehow managing to convince every teacher that there was something wrong with me. How is that not bad?”

“I’m sorry ok. I didn’t know what else to do Saph you knew I was better than him. That I loved you more than him. That I would have treated you better than him and I was right. He ignored your entire existence all these years yet you still chose him then and even now continue to choose him. You can pretend all you want that you don’t care but I notice everything. I notice you staring at him when he isn’t looking. I notice you whispering his name when you think nobody is close enough to hear. But you forgot. He may think you hate him but I know that you love him. Why couldn’t that be me? Being jack to you was the only way of being near you without betraying him or losing you. Can you blame me?”

“Saph? Whats up with the two of you and regressing to prior nicknames?”

“Out of everything I just said that’s all you got”

“No, I got everything.im just giving my brain a few minutes to process what you just said o my mouth doesn’t start tap dancing while spilling nonsensical gibberish.”

“Just tell me one thing Saph. Why him?”

Again at that the only solution my brain came up with was to laugh. He was no doubt going to book me into a mental institution.

“Why him? Honest truth I have no idea. I don’t know when it happened it just did. Its not something I had control over. It was never going to be you kyle. It was always him. Its always him. The way he smiles. The way he looks at me like he can save me from everything unbeknownst that I don’t need saving, he still tries to be my night in shining armour. You don’t think I don’t know where you got those bruises from every time you bullied me? He protected me from the outside thinking that I didn’t know anything and that’s the difference between him and you. He doesn’t need the title or the attention to be everything he possibly can. That is why him.”

“Wow…that’s a lot. I didn’t see it that way.”

“Of course you didn’t. you were too busy feeding you ego and getting revenge that you failed to notice that real love doesn’t mean you have to be with the person but means that you love them even when they are better off without you.”

“ Listen Saph I’m sorry I’m a fool I know but I didn’t know what else to do and I know nothing I say can take back those years but please give me the opportunity to make things right”

“One chance that’s all don’t blow it or I might just hang you from a tree by your ears understood?”

“Yes ma’am" He said while saluting causing me to get into a fit of giggles because of how stupid he looked.

Looks like this was the beginning to a lot of things. New decisions, new relationships and new problems. As if life wasn’t already complicated enough.

But right now sitting here with Kyle things seemed so surreal. Almost as if Jordan wasnt inside on the brink of death.

Everything seems to come at a cost. I rejected love only to gain a friend in the most unlikely of place with the most unlikely person.

Maybe one day life would give me a break. Maybe one day every turning point wouldn’t lead to a dark tunnel because god knows that the heart is a universe of secrets that’s becoming too heavy to carry.

Its time everything comes to light.

Love…friendship…life itself. This is a turning point but right now my main concern is Jordan, not kyles hidden feelings or anything lesser in the world. Just Jordan.

Seems like someone may have been eavesdropping on my thoughts because at that moment Mrs Morreti came rushing out with tears spilling over.

Guess it was time for us to stride down another dark tunnel.