VALENTINO SERIES 2: TO TAME HIS HEART

Kabanata 17

Georgia

I was shaking while I'm putting all my things in my luggage. Hindi na rin mapigilan ang pagbagsak ng aking mga luha habang ipinoproseso ko ang mga sinabi ni Tita sa akin.

A part of me doesn't want to believe her just yet, but what makes he bawl my eyes out is the thought about everything being true.

Paano kung naanakan nga siya ni Daddy? Paano kung magkapatid talaga kami? I mean, she'd served our family for several years. Bago pa ako ipanganak ay nagtrabaho na siya sa amin. Ang sabi pa ay hindi pa mag-asawa ang parents ko ay naninilbihan na siya kay Daddy. If she was telling the truth then I'm f****d up!

"George?" nadinig kong tawag ni Boyd nang makita ako sa loob ng kubo.

I immediately wiped my tears and prevented myself from looking at him. "Tumawag si Mommy. Alam na niyang wala ako sa camp. I should go home bago ka madamay sa galit niya."

Pumasok siya sa kubo. "Ihahatid kita--"

"No, just stay here until the end of your summer break." I sniffed. "Kaya ko namang umuwi mag-isa. I can call kuya Israel so he can pick me up at the bus station."

Hinawakan niya ang pisngi ko para maianggulo niya ang aking mukha. Nang makita ang namumula kong mga mata ay gumuhit ang magkahalong awa at pagtataka sa gwapo niyang mukha.

He sighed. "Hindi mo sinasabi ang totoo. Bakit gusto mong umuwi? Dahil ba sa nangyari--"

"I just don't want my mom to find out that I'm here. Siguradong ikaw ang kawawa kung malaman niya 'to." Muntik mabasag ang tinig ko ngunit nagawa ko pa ring ilapat ang palad ko sa kanyang pisngi kasabay ng basag kong pagngiti. "It's okay, Boyd. I'll see you in Manila after your summer break."

His eyes softened. Maya-maya ay dinampot niya ang natitira kong gamit at tinulungan akong mag-empake.

"Kung mapagalitan ka, sabihin mo ako ang nagyaya sa'yo. Hindi baleng ako ang mapagalitan," he said in a low yet gentle voice.

My lower lip trembled as I watched him pack my stuff.

Oh, God please. Please don't make this man my half brother. Hindi ko kakayanin . . .

I tried so hard not to cry anymore. Ayaw kong malaman niya ang totoong dahilan kung bakit ako uuwi. He loves his mom so much. I don't want him to get into a fight with her just because of me.

"M-Magbibihis na ako," kunwaring paalam ko nang makaalis ng kubo.

I grabbed a pair of clothes and went to their bathroom to change. Nanlalagkit ako dahil sa pawis at sa nangyari kanina ngunit mas inintindi ko ang kagustuhang makauwi na ng Manila.

Pagbalik ng kubo ay naihanda na niya lahat ng mga gamit ko. He's sitting by the doorway with his head low. Nag-angat lamang ulit ng ulo noong naramdaman ang paglapit ko.

Boyd stood up, pulled me close and then locked me in his arms. Muli lamang nangilid ang aking mga luha habang pinapatakan niya ng mararahang halik ang tuktok ng aking ulo.

"Pasensya na sa nangyari. Hindi ko dapat hinayaang mangyari lahat 'to," he said as if all of it was really his fault.

I pursed my lips to prevent myself from sobbing. No, it wasn't. I initiated everything. He was doing his best to resist my temptations. Ako ang may kasalanan.

I sniffed. "Don't blame yourself."

Humigpit ang pagkakayakap niya sa akin. "Babalik ako kaagad ng Maynila. May tatapusin lang akong problema rito pagkatapos ay babyahe na ko. Pupuntahan kita kaagad. Magkita tayo."

Marahan na lamang akong tumango kahit na hindi ko na sigurado kung magkikita pa ba kami. The thought of us being half siblings scares the s**t out of me because I knew it'll be hard for me to find someone like him.

I will always look for him in every man I'd date. I will seek for his warmth. For his hugs, his kisses. His assurance and genuine love.

Nilunok ko ang namuong bara sa aking lalamunan saka ko siya niyakap pabalik. "I . . . have to go now, Boyd." Halos mabasag ang aking tinig.

Boyd inhaled a sharp breath. "Ihahatid kita sa sakayan ng bus."

Hindi na ako tumutol. I let him take my things before we went to his mom to bid goodbye. Tita didn't even fake her disapproval towards me. Mukhang naramdaman na rin ni Boyd na alam na ni Tita pati ang tungkol sa video kaya ganoon kung makatingin sa mga palad namin.

I dodged his mother's cold stare. Sumama ako sa kanya patungo sa sakayan ng bus. Siya ang nagkarga ng maleta ko sa compartment. Ihinatid din niya ako sa loob ng bus at hindi umalis hangga't hindi sinasabi ng konduktor na aalis na ang bus.

"Mag-chat ka, ah?" bilin niya nang sabihin na ng konduktor na aalis na kami.

I gently nodded. "S-Sige."

He leaned to kiss me on my temple before he finally went out of the bus. Tumayo siya sa parte kung saan matatanaw niya pa ako sa may bintana. He tried to give me a smile while he's waving at me. Pinilit ko na lamang ding kumaway at ngumiti kahit pabagsak na naman ang aking mga luha.

Ang hirap magpaalam kung alam mong may posibilidad na hindi mo na pwedeng makasama ulit ang taong mahal mo. Walang ibang tumakbo sa isip ko buong byahe pauwi ng Maynila kun'di ang mga sinabi ng nanay niya. I kept asking God to not let us be half siblings. I know I am young and stupid but I know who I want.

This love may not be as mature and strong as the others but this is real. This may be young but this is definitely real. I want this. God, I want no other love but this.

"Get in the car, Georgia," si kuya Israel nang makuha niya ang maleta ko. He picked me up in Cubao without letting our parents know.

Sinunod ko ang kanyang utos. I went in and waited for him to get inside his Rolls Royce. Nang makapasok siya ay nagpakawala ng matalim na hininga.

"Tell me what happened, Gia."

My heart ached. He only calls me that way when he knows I have a problem that I am not willing to share. Wala pa man ay naluha na ako. Maybe he knows me so well even when I am more close with kuya Russ. He's always been the distant one among us. Pero kahit na madalas may sarili siyang mundo ay nakikiramdam pa rin.

I sniffed. "Will you promise not to tell anyone?"

"Cross my heart, baby," he said in a brotherly way before he wiped the lone tear that trailed down my cheek.

Nanginig ang ibaba kong labi. "K-Kuya . . ." My voice cracked. "Iyong mama ni Boyd, b-bakit natanggal sa bahay?"

His eyes softened. Tila kahit iyon lang ang itanong ko ay alam na niya kung ano ba talaga ang problema ko.

Kuya Israel sighed. "Hindi ko alam ang buong kwento pero nahuli siya ni Mommy na nakikipaghalikan kay Daddy. Nagkapisikalan sila. She said she was supposed to be in mommy's place. Hindi ko alam kung bakit niya nasabi 'yon. She was drunk that time. Ang alam ko ay 'yon din ang dahilan kung bakit sila naghiwalay ng asawa niya. Ayaw na raw magpakaama kay Boyd dahil una pa lang ay nagdududa na kung kanya talaga."

"Oh my God . . ." I sobbed. "D-Do you think he's our brother?"

"I don't know, baby. Hindi naman pumayag si Mommy noon na ipa-DNA test si Boyd. She just fired his mom and threatened her to never come back." He pulled me for a brotherly hug. "You can keep everything from me if you're not comfortable to share things yet but I'm here for you, Gia. Always remember that."

Napahikbi na lamang ako. "I don't want him to be our sibling, kuya . . ."

Hinagod niya ang aking likod. "Hindi naman tayo sigurado. Wala namang nangyaring DNA test noon. But in case I am getting this right, I don't think it's a good idea to be involved with him romantically. Think about the future, Gia. If you guys will pursue whatever you already have and he turns out to be our brother, then it would be harder for you to let him go. On the other hand, kung hindi man natin siya kapatid at magkatuluyan kayo, things will be very complicated. You will always juggle everything. You will get stuck in between two rocks until problems start to weigh more than your love for each other. Are you willing to see yourself hate the very person you love?"

I sobbed. "N-No . . ."

Kuya sighed. "Then you know what to do, baby. You're Georgia Valentino. You're smart and you have a great future waiting for you. This will just be a memory someday."

Naisara ko na lamang ang mga mata ko. My brother is right. Kahit alin ang piliin ko, ang kalimutan si Boyd o ang patuloy siyang mahalin, masasaktan at masasaktan pa rin ako.

I love my mommy so much despite her being absent in our lives often. Even if she doesn't always offer her shoulder for us to cry on. If Boyd will develop hatred towards her someday, masasaktan ako at magagalit din. Siguradong ganoon din ang mararamdaman ni Boyd.

I sniffed. Kailangan ko nang gumawa ng desisyon. Desisyong makapagpapatahimik sa buhay naming pare-pareho kahit na mabasag pa ang puso ko . . .