25. Lovesickness
1362 Words
________________________
.
.
.
Rowan took a sip of his whiskey, closing his eyes as the bitter liquid burnt a path down his throat. He was to leave for the war front in two days and he had a lot of things to do, supervising the preparation of his warriors and making sure the pack runs smoothly in his absence.
But instead, he could not help but lock himself up in his estate. His empty estate. He had let all the employees go, directing their duties to other sectors of the pack.
It was not like there was anything for them to do here. With Hope gone and he leaving soon, the place was going to be deserted.
Hope was gone.
And she seemed like she had no problem going away. In fact, it looked like she was enjoying the new place.
And it also looked like she really liked the bodyguards he had assigned to her.
Felix and Odysseus.
They were the best of the warriors he could omit from the warriors headed to the war.
But they were a bit too good looking for his liking.
In fact, Rowan thought that all werewolves were a bit too good looking.
Moon goddess didn't have to flex so hard with the looks of her children. It was an inconvenience in situations like this.
Rowan groaned, pushing the glass of liquor away.
Why was he acting like this?
Why was he acting like a typical jealous and lonely mate?
They did not have a typical relationship. And it was obvious that Hope would rather be anywhere but with him.
So why was he so affected by everything?
.
.
.
"That's the thirty-seventh time you are sighing... Since I started counting." Maria chuckled, shaking her head to herself as she prepared the bed for Hope.
"It's not me." Hope denied. "Rowan is all grumpy and brooding and it is affecting me."
"Sure." Maria rolled her eyes. "I am pretty sure he must be making the same excuse back at the pack."
Hope gave her a flat look. "Whose side are you on?"
"Yours, of course." Maria winked, making Hope c***k a smile before going back to her annoyed face.
"Was that a smile?" Maria grinned.
"Nope." Hope got up from where she sat, staring out the window.
"I am pretty sure I saw a smile." Maria was not ready to let go.
"Then you should either see an ophthalmologist or a psychiatrist."
Maria shook her head.
"I swear I saw a smileeeee..." She sang.
"You won't be smiling anymore when Rowan finds out whose side you took." Hope countered. "What you said is basically his worst nightmare!"
"Which is why I don't have to worry about you telling him." Maria smiled knowingly. "You would never say or do anything that would hurt him."
Her voice was gentle and her eyes soft.
Hope opened her eyes to argue but she couldn't form the words. She knew Maria was right. But she desperately wished that Rowan would see the same - see the concern and the faith and the... Love.
She wished he would see the love she had for him despite their situationship.
But then again, she knew it was easier for her to feel this way. For Rowan, she was a murderer. And not just any murderer, she was the one who ripped his best friend into two pieces. There was definitely no going back from that.
"Good night, Hope." Maria said, smiling to herself as she saw herself out of the room.
"Just me and my thoughts again." Hope sighed as she sat down on the edge of her bed.
"I don't think I will ever leave yourself to that."
Hope closed her eyes and chuckled. "Mom, there's nothing to worry about. It's not like I can kill myself or anything."
"You can still hurt yourself. And I can't let you do that, my love. I can't let you hurt yourself for something that is absolutely not your fault."
Samantha appeared out of the air, her strawberry blond hair out in layers, making her look like an older version of Hope.
"I know I know." Hope sighed. To the rest of the world, Hope must seem like someone who didn't care about all that happened four years ago.
But the truth was that it still ate at her. She had the faces of the people she killed tattooed on her heart, and it killed her to think about them every single day.
"Of course you know. But you are not willing to live by it."
"Mother..."
"Honey, this is your chance. Go live your life. Why would you let yourself be imprisoned like this?" Samantha asked.
Hope stared at her dead mother. The way she looked at her the day she died was still fresh in her memory.
Samantha had looked at her like she was looking at the most prized possession of her life.
There was so much of love and prayers in her face as she embraced death by her own daughter.
Hope did not think that she would ever be able to live someone as much as her mother had loved her. There was just no way.
But she believed that for someone like her mother, who loved the daughter who killed her with everything she had gotten, it would be easier to understand the feelings Hope had for Rowan.
That despite all the mess that her daughter's life was, she would encourage for her to live her life to the fullest, with the man she loved with the whole of her heart.
"I don't feel imprisoned or trapped or compelled, Mom." Hope said confidently.
"Really?" Samantha huffed. "Can you leave this apartment as you please? No. Do you get to do all the things that girls your age should be doing? No. Do you get to hone your skills as a half-witch? Absolutely not. You don't get to do anything as you please, my love. Still you are saying that you are not imprisoned?"
Hope simply smiled at her mother. She really was a sweetheart, wasn't she? She was such a good mother that she had forgotten how to think like a human.
"He is doing his best to treat me right even though I am a sinner, mother. A murderer. I am labelled 'the plague' and still he sticks around. He-"
"When did the Alpha become so important to you?"
Hope was taken aback by the question. Not because of the words she had used, but because of the venom with which she had spit it out.
"Mom, he is my mate." Hope said slowly, scared that she would anger her mother further.
But she seriously didn't know why she sounded so angry and bitter about it. She had thought that her mother would be happy to hear it. Happy to hear that despite all of the things that had happened in two years since her first shift, her daughter was finally finding happiness.
And that she was indeed very happy despite the difficult circumstances.
But she was reacting in a completely different way.
"Mom, what's wrong?" Hope spoke up again when Samantha made no comment.
"You both have too much history to ever be happy together. I don't want you to suffer anymore. I think you have already reached the limit of heart breaks in this lifetime and I don't want you to exceed it."
Samantha's words were monotonous and she disappeared just like that. Just like that.
Hope pulled herself up to her feet, looking around.
She did not understand why her mother hated the idea of her being in love.
There was always a chance of heartbreak in life and her mother herself had told her stories of how her father did not want a mate but that she had not given up home.
Hope grew up hearing about the great love story of her father and mother, who despite being two different species and not being mates, still found their perfect love story for as long as time would allow them.
So what was her mother so afraid of?
.
.
.
___________________________
- Writer
