SHIELDING THE BLACK SHADOWS

I look up at the sky. It is so bright. I wish my life as bright as the sky, but we are all just human being. We can make hope but not decision. I just woman with the broken heart, disappointment, and tears. On the cool night of mid autumn festival and bit windy adam said to me," Lia.... I will marry you but now isn't right time for us. Why did you worry about it?" he looks so sad. " Adam, I just want to make sure you will really do that. I am not forcing you. I hope you understand how I feel as woman I need certain answers." I feel terrible. " Adam, sometimes I feel so tired with our life. We must hide our relationship from everyone and when they talk about me, us, it is so hurtful and I can't bear it. Don't you care about that?" I look deep into his eyes and he seem avoiding my eyes. " I don't care what they thought Lia. I don't care?" he said angrily and walk away. " But I care Adam! I care !!" I shouted at him. Suddenly sadness creeping inside me, tears flowing down slowly but certainly. I throw my body on the sofa. My mind spinning around, I can't accept Adam answers and I can't blame him. I understand him. He had some part of his life that cause his trauma. His ex-wife run away with his two sons to england. They separated more than 10 years and he never seen them ever since. Once Adam told me that he want to reunite with his sons but doesn't want to see his ex-wife. Which actually they have not divorce yet formally. And it is bother me lots. Long before we are in relationships, Adam had girlfriend named Ella. They have been together for 4 years. Same character and selfishness. They always fight and argue in front of me, at that time I don't have any feelings for adam because we are all just friends in same club. But one day on sports occasion day Adam, Ella, and me come in same place. Ella suddenly shouted angrily at me. She accuse me betray her, secretly in relationships with adam behind her back. But she can't do anything to me that time as she had no prove on that and I was in relationship with fian, a girl that I would do anything for her. I do not know how I become lesbians and we have been together for 2 years. So, when Adam told me that he broke up with Ella on 2008, it is surprise me. He told me Ella has another man. I don't believe him until I found it later by myself that all Adam said is true. At that time, Adam did not feel sad or lose. In fact, he focuses on opening his new sports club and ask me to help him to manage it. From there on we become close friend more than ever. And rumours started.