Zhuangzi Dreaming of a Butterfly

"Dr. Chen, do I need to avoid certain foods for my condition?" "Hotpot, barbecue, milk tea, cola, I can avoid these for now." "I can also sleep early and wake up early, no more staying up late." Zhuang Zi'ang stared at his attending physician, Chen Dexiu, with a sincere expression. Because he had a vague sense that his health was not looking good. Chen Dexiu was around fifty years old, with a Mediterranean hairstyle and thick gold-rimmed glasses. Behind him, a wall full of banners silently spoke of his exceptional medical skills and high moral standing. "No, just eat whatever you want!" Such a light, casual sentence struck Zhuang Zi'ang like a bolt from the blue. Deafening! The diagnosis report handed over by Chen Dexiu was filled with dense medical terms. Translated, it roughly read eight words: Incurable, beyond saving. "Dr. Chen, how much time do I have left?" Zhuang Zi'ang's voice trembled, filled with fear of death. "At most three months. Accept it, no one can escape this day," Chen Dexiu sighed helplessly. As a doctor, he had seen life and death countless times and thought his heart was as calm as still water. But seeing such a young man, still so full of life, about to leave this world soon, he still felt sorrow. In the face of illness, life seemed especially fragile. Zhuang Zi'ang clutched the diagnosis report, unable to remember how he left the hospital. His mind was a blank, stumbling in a daze on the street, knocking over several shared bikes. At eighteen, in the season when peach blossoms bloomed, his life had already begun its countdown. Three months, ninety days, two thousand one hundred sixty hours... Chen Dexiu said three months, but it might not even be that long. In the blink of an eye, he would have to say goodbye to this world. He was clearly not ready mentally. Tears silently slid down his cheeks. All the sadness and regret filled his chest, and he didn’t know how to release it. Outside the hospital was a wholesale market. Zhuang Zi'ang saw that the clothing store was full of brightly colored cheap clothes, and the loudspeakers at the door tirelessly announced a fire sale, clearance deals. His clothes still smelled of pungent disinfectant, and now he just wanted to take them off and throw them away. It was as if doing so could draw a line between himself and the hospital. Maybe then, Death’s footsteps would slow down a little? But that was just a pitiful form of self-deception. "Boss, how much is that shirt?" Zhuang Zi'ang pointed to a very gaudy floral shirt. It was colorful, like a spilled paint palette. Inside the hospital, everywhere he looked was filled with sickly pallor. Now, he was desperately longing for life to have a bit more color. "Thirty yuan." The shopkeeper hesitated for a moment before reminding the young man in front of him, "But this style doesn't quite suit you." Zhuang Zi'ang took out the money: "It’s okay, I really like it." The gaudy floral shirt clashed terribly with his refined temperament, looking like a child who had secretly worn adult clothes. Next, Zhuang Zi'ang specifically went to a bookstore, bought a set of Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils, five books in total, which felt heavy in his hands. Passing by a milk tea shop, he bought a cup of the new spring drink, taro balls with bubbles. When he returned to school, Zhuang Zi'ang was stopped by the security guard at the gate. Although the school did not enforce a uniform, it still did not allow unusual attire. The floral shirt he was wearing was simply too eye-catching. It wasn’t until he showed his student ID and the leave slip signed by his class teacher, and after the security guard made a phone call to confirm, that they let him in. "Sigh, today’s students, so unruly. What is this world coming to!" Zhuang Zi'ang stepped into the school gate, hearing the security uncle's sigh behind him, and a sense of desolation rose in his heart. The uncle didn’t know that this unruly student had ranked first in the entire grade for two consecutive years. He was the city's model student and an outstanding student leader. But to Zhuang Zi'ang at this moment, all of that had become empty titles. In three months, everything about him would vanish like smoke. It was break time, and the playground was bustling. Outside the classroom of Class 9, a few students were chasing and playing. When Zhuang Zi'ang, dressed like a flamboyant rooster, walked into the classroom, he immediately attracted the attention of the entire class. "Whoa, what's he thinking, actually dressing like this to school?" "If the disciplinary director catches him, he’ll start with a 3,000-word self-reflection." "Zhuang Zi'ang took sick leave yesterday, and looking at him now, it seems like he's seriously ill!" ... Zhuang Zi'ang ignored the strange stares from his classmates, who looked at him like a monster, and walked straight to his seat. After taking a deep breath, he handed the taro ball milk tea to the girl sitting in front of him. "Mu Shi, sorry I stood you up yesterday. I bought you milk tea to make up for it." Lin Mushi, the goddess-level beauty of the school. She had a pair of beautiful almond-shaped eyes and skin as white as milk, just like a delicate princess. Such a girl was never lacking suitors. But she ignored all other boys and always showed a tender side only to Zhuang Zi'ang. The two sat in front and behind each other, spending time together every day, and had developed a pure and precious friendship. A movie had been released yesterday, and Lin Mushi had made plans early in the morning, asking Zhuang Zi'ang to accompany her to watch it. But Zhuang Zi'ang had to go to the hospital, so he had to reschedule. "Why didn't you reply to my messages?" Lin Mushi asked. Zhuang Zi'ang took out his phone and realized there were many unread messages. Three of them were from Lin Mushi. "Zhuang Zi'ang, I heard from Li Huangxuan that you took sick leave and went to the hospital." "Are you okay? We can watch the movie another time." "If you don’t reply to me soon, I won’t talk to you anymore." Although it was concern, one could still sense a hint of playful pride in her words. Zhuang Zi'ang felt his nose turn sour, almost on the verge of tears. He fought to hold back his sadness: "Mu Shi, I’m fine. If you drink this milk tea, will that mean you forgive me?" Lin Mushi stared at him with her almond-shaped eyes, hesitated for a moment, then took a small sip of the milk tea. The taste was delicate, sweet, and smooth. "I’m only thirsty, I haven’t forgiven you yet." Zhuang Zi'ang forced a bitter smile with all his might. At that moment, a tall and thin boy walked in, sat down next to Zhuang Zi'ang with a thud, and started shouting loudly. "Son, what are you wearing? Aren’t you afraid Old Zhang will cut you into pieces?" Li Huangxuan, Zhuang Zi'ang’s deskmate and best friend, always referred to him as his "son." When he entered the classroom and saw Zhuang Zi'ang in this floral shirt, he thought he must have seen things. Zhuang Zi'ang was the class monitor, a model student, always well-behaved and obedient, the teacher's most trusted good student. But today, he was the one starting trouble, wearing such strange clothes. "Son, I went to the hospital, and I just wanted a change of mood." Zhuang Zi'ang explained casually. "Not bad, very stylish. If you add a big gold chain around your neck, it’ll be even more impressive." Li Huangxuan laughed, teasing him. "I’ll give it to you." Zhuang Zi'ang slammed the set of Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils down onto Li Huangxuan’s desk. "Zhuang Zi'ang took sick leave yesterday, and looking at him now, it seems like he's seriously ill!" ... Zhuang Zi'ang ignored the strange stares from his classmates, who looked at him like a monster, and walked straight to his seat. After taking a deep breath, he handed the taro ball milk tea to the girl sitting in front of him. "Mu Shi, sorry I stood you up yesterday. I bought you milk tea to make up for it." Lin Mushi, the goddess-level beauty of the school. She had a pair of beautiful almond-shaped eyes and skin as white as milk, just like a delicate princess. Such a girl was never lacking suitors. But she ignored all other boys and always showed a tender side only to Zhuang Zi'ang. The two sat in front and behind each other, spending time together every day, and had developed a pure and precious friendship. A movie had been released yesterday, and Lin Mushi had made plans early in the morning, asking Zhuang Zi'ang to accompany her to watch it. But Zhuang Zi'ang had to go to the hospital, so he had to reschedule. "Why didn't you reply to my messages?" Lin Mushi asked. Zhuang Zi'ang took out his phone and realized there were many unread messages. Three of them were from Lin Mushi. "Zhuang Zi'ang, I heard from Li Huangxuan that you took sick leave and went to the hospital." "Are you okay? We can watch the movie another time." "If you don’t reply to me soon, I won’t talk to you anymore." Although it was concern, one could still sense a hint of playful pride in her words. Zhuang Zi'ang felt his nose turn sour, almost on the verge of tears. He fought to hold back his sadness: "Mu Shi, I’m fine. If you drink this milk tea, will that mean you forgive me?" Lin Mushi stared at him with her almond-shaped eyes, hesitated for a moment, then took a small sip of the milk tea. The taste was delicate, sweet, and smooth. "I’m only thirsty, I haven’t forgiven you yet." Zhuang Zi'ang forced a bitter smile with all his might. At that moment, a tall and thin boy walked in, sat down next to Zhuang Zi'ang with a thud, and started shouting loudly. "Son, what are you wearing? Aren’t you afraid Old Zhang will cut you into pieces?" Li Huangxuan, Zhuang Zi'ang’s deskmate and best friend, always referred to him as his "son." When he entered the classroom and saw Zhuang Zi'ang in this floral shirt, he thought he must have seen things. Zhuang Zi'ang was the class monitor, a model student, always well-behaved and obedient, the teacher's most trusted good student. But today, he was the one starting trouble, wearing such strange clothes. "Son, I went to the hospital, and I just wanted a change of mood." Zhuang Zi'ang explained casually. "Not bad, very stylish. If you add a big gold chain around your neck, it’ll be even more impressive." Li Huangxuan laughed, teasing him. "I’ll give it to you." Zhuang Zi'ang slammed the set of Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils down onto Li Huangxuan’s desk. Li Huangxuan was a fan of martial arts novels and often secretly read them in his free time. Now, seeing this gift, he was overjoyed. He immediately threw his arm around Zhuang Zi'ang’s shoulder: "Son, you really have a filial heart, did you win the lottery?" Zhuang Zi'ang came up with a half-hearted excuse: "In eight months, it'll be your birthday!" Lin Mushi, hearing this, laughed cheerfully. Her well-developed chest rose and fell with each laugh. Looking at his two close friends beside him, Zhuang Zi'ang silently thought to himself: "I don’t want to leave you guys!"