The Lycan King’s Regret: I Can’t Let You Go, Mate.

ANNABELLE’s POV… “Your wolf yearns for your mate, Annabelle.” Sienna began calmly, like she always did. How she could speak so calmly about my mate knowing fully well all I’d endured baffled me. She didn’t even bat an eyelid as she continued, and I clenched my fists in anger. “You know I can’t return to him, Sienna. Not after everything he put me through.” My voice was low, almost a whisper, but I knew she heard me. I saw the flash of pity in her eyes as she stared at me and I hated it. I hated coming off as weak. I turned slightly away from her, unexplainable emotions flooding me. Sienna was the healer who trained me when I was first brought to the Silver Moon pack five years ago by its Alpha, Caspian after I’d fled my mate’s pack and nearly died at the hands of rogues during an attack. Sienna and I had met almost immediately and ever since, she’d been like the family I couldn’t say I had. Memories from five years ago replayed in my head and I fought back the dryness forming in my throat. I hated how even after all these years, those memories still had an effect on me. Worse, I hated how even though she knew how this was on me, she was still suggesting I returned to the man who was the cause of all of this. “I know how hard this must be for you, Annabelle, trust me, but I wouldn’t have brought your mate up if it wasn’t the only option left.” She continued in that calm voice that always seemed to soothe me even when my life was falling apart. I slowly turned back to her, still refusing to meet her eyes. “He’ll soothe your wolf and bring your powers to their full potential. He’ll become the father you know your son, Zarin needs, love and protection wise.” Her tone became softer than I ever thought possible. “Annabelle, he’ll—“ “He rejected me five years ago, Sienna.” I cut her off again with a whisper. It didn’t matter how many times I said it— out loud or in my mind— It still cut deep and stung. The pain was still severe every time I recalled how he rejected my gift from the market that day, how he’d addressed me as a ‘thing’ even though I was a person and how he’d so brutally rejected me. ‘I, Nikolai Darkfire, Alpha of the Darkfire pack, rejects you sinful hybrid omega, Annabelle Miller, as my mate.’ His rejection replayed in my mind every day for the past five years, like a torment that I could never shake. There was no way I could return to him, to the same man who’d given me hope that we had a future together only to turn around and call me cursed and sinful. I just couldn’t. Back home, I stuffed my belongings into a small suitcase frantically, running my fingers through my hair as frustration gnawed at me. Five goddamn years, yet I still hadn’t been able to completely break free from him. Alpha Caspian had masked my scent to keep me hidden, but my wolf, Trish, refused to forget. She clung to the mate bond, refusing to shield from that memory, even in her most unstable moments. The last few weeks had been horrible. She’d gone berserk and most of the time, I’d been unable to keep her under control. As a result, I’d almost killed innocent wolves. That alone was all I needed to know that even my son Zarin wasn’t safe around me. I didn’t want to hurt anyone, especially not the one I loved most, but it’d be inevitable if Trish lost it when he was close so I had to enroll him in wolf school. Now, to spare other innocent people, I had to leave the pack. For a little while at least, so I could get my wolf under control. It was risky to leave the pack given what happened five years ago, but my scent was masked. I was banking on that to keep me safe. I sighed before throwing the last top in and shutting the suitcase. I reached for the necklace that had been no stranger to my neck since I was seven, only to remember that I’d lost it three weeks ago during one of Trish’s berserk outbursts. It had been my mother’s, one of the few things I had left of her, and now it was gone. I’d tried going back to look for it but I couldn’t recall the routes as I’d been out of it. All I recalled was that it was very far from the pack. So far that it’d taken my wolf a very long time to get back even in form. ****** I dragged my suitcase through scattered branches, unable to shake the lingering feeling that someone was following me. Three times I caught mixed scents and turned, but every time I did, there was no one. It couldn’t be Trish going berserk again but in a different way, could it? I paused when the feeling of uneasiness kicked in again, the scents becoming stronger. The distant snapping of branches grew louder and closer, causing my heart to seize. There really were other wolves in here. Before I could react, a cloth was suddenly thrown over my head and that was all I could recall before I was thrown to the floor, the cloth coming off my head as a low wince escaped my lips. A branch snapped, perfectly polished boots coming into view and causing my breathing to falter. A man. I gulped and slowly lifted my head and there, standing before me, was Alpha Caspian. My throat tightened. This had to be a coincidence. He couldn’t possibly have tracked me. My scent was still masked. It had to be a fluke that he appeared here, in the woods, at this time. As desperate as I was to cling on to this denial, only one explanation made sense. My heart sank, betrayal eating deep into my bones. “You unmasked my scent.” It wasn’t a question and the words tasted like acid. “You’ve become a renowned and resourced healer, Annabelle. Many packs want you for themselves and you might be taken away.” He shrugged. “I masked your scent five years ago because I knew it was the best for you, but now, it’s not. You—“ Anger found its way through my bloodstreams without any effort. “You didn’t mask it because it was the best for me, Alpha Caspian. You masked it because we had a deal. I broke your curse and you agreed to mask it. You had no right to—“ Before I could finish, he interrupted me. “I know what’s best for you, Annabelle. Do you really think you’re safe out here, in the woods? For what reason?” He snapped his fingers and his guards seized me from both sides, ignoring my struggles to be free. “Silver Moon is the safest place for you. Trust me. We’ll protect your son. Zarin is the most important person to you, isn’t he? He’ll be safer with us. Like he’s always been.” Then he signaled his guards to take me away. “Let me go!” I screamed. “You can’t do this. We had a deal. We—“ My words fell on deaf ears as he shifted into his wolf form, running off into the woods with two of his guards. One of the two guards left shifted, the other putting me on top of him and as the hem of my dress raised at this movement, I couldn’t help but notice the mark on my thigh. I swallowed the huge lump in my throat. This mark reminded me of one thing— the rogues that attacked me years ago. They could now track my scent. This realization caused me to shudder. ******** ‘Die now, you freaking wolf!’ The masked man roared, mercilessly slitting me across my thigh as a piercing cry tore from my lips. ‘Once we get the orb, you’ll be done for.’ Another of the men that’d come with him spat, following with a kick to my chest as I grabbed onto my stomach, tears streaming down my cheeks, both in pain and fear of losing my baby. ‘Once we get the orb, Annabelle, you’ll be done for.’ With those words said, the masked man raised a silver knife high before burying it deep into my skin. I jumped out of bed, my heart racing within my chest. Another nightmare about the attack and orb. When would this end? Five years and not a single night passed without the horrible memories of that night I’d been plagued with. That orb. It didn’t matter how much I tried to bring it up with Sienna, she always shrugged it off with ‘you have other things to worry about right now, Annabelle. When the time is right, you’ll know about it.’ When would the time ever be right? When I had a heart attack from the memories and then died in my sleep? I got off the bed, unable to go to sleep after the nightmare. I walked to the window, looking out into the sky and when my eyes caught one of the stars glistening, I felt tears freely start to stream down my cheeks. Half a decade, yet I couldn’t forget. “Maybe in another life.” I whispered at the sky. Morning couldn’t have come slower with the memories of that night still plaguing me, but when it came, I couldn’t be more grateful. I resumed work with Sienna very early, but there wasn’t much to do so I resorted to watering the flowers. It was an activity that calmed me. Amidst watering the flowers, I felt unnecessary kicking in my wolf and the more I ignored, the harder they became. Luckily, I was distracted by a patient. I focused on the patient, convincing myself that the kicking was all in my head, but by the time the patient left, it went from kicking to full-on pain. I grabbed my side in agonizing pain, my other hand grasping the edge of my desk. The deathly pain persisted for a few more seconds before relief came— with something else. I started to feel something different stirring in me. It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced with Trish.