Between Faith and Feelings

CHAPTER ONE The faint call to prayer drifted through the darkness, but Aisha barely heard it. Her alarm had been ringing for several seconds before she finally reached out from beneath her blanket and silenced it. She wanted to go back to sleep, but something about the silence in the house felt wrong. Usually, by this time, she could hear her parents moving about. Doors opening. Footsteps in the hallway. Her mother's quiet voice reminding Nabil to hurry. This morning, there was nothing. Aisha reluctantly climbed out of bed and opened her bedroom door. She took one step into the hallway before stopping. Her father stepped out of his room at the exact same moment her mother emerged from hers. Neither of them looked at the other. Her father's jaw was tight. Her mother's eyes were lowered, and she quickly wiped at her face before noticing Aisha standing there. Aisha's stomach dropped. It happened again. Another fight. For a moment, none of them spoke. Then Nabil's sleepy voice came from behind her. "Are we praying?" Aisha turned towards him, forcing her expression to remain neutral. "Yeah. Come on." She glanced back at her parents. Her father was already walking towards the stairs. Her mother followed a few seconds later. Aisha said nothing. She simply joined them, carrying the uncomfortable silence with her as they gathered for Subhi. After prayer, Aisha returned to her room to pack for the coming week at college. By the time she came downstairs, breakfast was waiting. Her father's seat was empty. Aisha glanced towards the entrance before taking her own seat. "Where's Dad?" she asked. Her mother's expression immediately changed. "Just leave it, please. Don't stress me this morning." "But Mum—" "And I said leave it." Aisha stared at her. "You both promised you'd stop fighting. You promised things would get better." Her mother sighed and rubbed her forehead. "It's not something I can control, Nana. I'm just so tired." Her voice softened. "But I'm hanging on for you and your brother, and you know that. So, please, just let me be this time around." Aisha looked down at her untouched breakfast. "I'm not hungry anymore." She pushed her chair back and left. ---- Later that afternoon, she noticed Nabil's bedroom door slightly open. She pushed it wider without knocking. "Guess who's here to bless you with her presence?" "Get out of my room," Nabil replied without looking up from his phone. Aisha placed a hand over her chest. "Is that how you speak to your only sister?" "Unfortunately." She laughed and dropped onto his bed. Looking around his room reminded her of when they were younger. They used to spend hours playing games together, but lately, they barely spoke. "Remember when you used to beg me to play games with you?" "That was years ago." "I'm still your sister." "Sadly." She threw a pillow at him. He caught it, smiling despite himself. But the smile quickly disappeared. "What's wrong?" Aisha asked. "Nothing." "Nabil." He sighed. "I can hear them, you know. Mum and Dad. When they fight." He looked away. "I'm tired of it, Aisha." She didn't know what to say. "And now you're leaving for university. I'll be the only one here." Aisha moved closer. "I'm not disappearing forever. I'll call you, and I'll come home whenever I can." "Promise?" "Promise." She picked up the game controller. "Come on. One game." He took it from her. "You're going to lose." "In your dreams." For the next hour, they laughed and argued over the game, and for a little while, the tension at home disappeared. --- Aisha had always been her father's little princess. As his only daughter, she had been pampered, protected, and loved dearly. He had taught both his children discipline, respect, hard work, and good character, and Aisha had always admired him for it. She had also always wanted his approval. But as the arguments between her parents became more frequent, her father began spending less time at home. Their conversations grew shorter, and the closeness they once shared became harder to find. Sometimes, a good grade was enough to bring his attention back to her. So she worked hard. Maybe if she continued making him proud, things between them would become the way they used to be. It was a hope she couldn't seem to let go of. --- That night, sleep refused to come. Aisha lay in bed scrolling through her phone, chatting with the few friends she had. Zainab, her best friend, was the only one she truly counted on. She was lively and outspoken, almost the complete opposite of Aisha, and somehow always knew how to make her laugh. Aisha smiled at one of her messages before putting her phone aside. Still unable to sleep, she eventually went downstairs for some water. The house was quiet. Then the front door opened. Her father walked in, loosening his tie. Aisha froze. She wanted to run to him and hug him, but she hesitated. What if he didn't hug her back the way he used to? He noticed her. "Aisha?" "Assalamu alaikum, Dad." He studied her for a moment. "Come here." She followed him to the sofa. They talked about university, her preparations, and how she was feeling. It was an ordinary conversation, but Aisha found herself cherishing every second of it. Then he reached into his suit jacket and pulled out a tiny box. "I got something for you." "For me?" He nodded. She opened it and found a delicate heart-shaped pendant inside. Her face brightened. "Dad, it's beautiful!" "I'm glad you like it." She held it carefully in her palm. It wasn't the pendant itself that mattered. It was the fact that he had thought of her. "Thank you," she whispered. He smiled. Aisha leaned against his shoulder, just as she had when she was younger. He didn't move away. For the first time in days, she felt safe. Eventually, exhaustion overcame her, and she fell asleep against him. --- The next morning, Aisha woke for Subhi with a small smile still lingering from the night before. But her father's room was empty. He wasn't there for prayer. Afterwards, she found Nabil. "Have you seen Dad?" "No." She found her mother in the kitchen. "Where did Dad go?" Her mother avoided her gaze. "He had somewhere to be." "Somewhere? This early?" "Nana, please. Not now." Aisha fell silent. There was something in her mother's eyes that unsettled her, but she didn't ask again. Instead, she held on to the memory of the previous night. Her father's smile. The pendant. His shoulder beneath her head. She didn't know how long that moment would last. --- The rest of the week passed quietly. Aisha saw less and less of her father, and eventually, she stopped asking where he was. Before she knew it, moving day had arrived. Standing before her mirror, she adjusted her hijab and looked at her reflection. University. A new environment. New people. Hopefully, a little freedom. Maybe this was the fresh start she needed. And perhaps, just perhaps, being away from home would give her father a reason to notice her again. She grabbed her handbag and headed downstairs. Her mother was waiting with Nabil. "Well, look at you," her mother said. "My little girl is finally going to university." "Mum, I'm nineteen." "And you'll still be my little girl when you're ninety." Aisha laughed and hugged her. Her mother kissed her forehead. "Take care of yourself. Attend your lectures, read your books, and don't let anyone distract you." "Yes, ma'am." As if I have anything interesting enough going on in my life to get distracted by. She turned towards Nabil, who was busy on his phone. "You're not going to say goodbye?" "Goodbye." Aisha stared at him. "Wow. Such emotion. I'm touched." "Can you just go already?" She laughed and pulled him into a hug. He resisted for a moment before reluctantly hugging her back. "Don't miss me too much." "In your dreams." "Love you too, baby brother." With one final hug from her mother, Aisha collected her luggage and stepped outside. Soon, she was settled in the back seat of the car, watching the familiar streets disappear behind her. She rested her head against the window. She was scared. Excited. Uncertain. But beneath it all was a small hope that university would finally give her the fresh start she desperately needed. Aisha watched her home disappear in the distance, unaware that she wasn't simply leaving her old life behind. She was driving straight into a new one. One that would challenge everything she thought she knew about love, family, faith, and herself. And somewhere beyond those familiar streets, someone she had never met was already waiting to become a part of her story.