That's Us

Boston Children's Hospital

I woke early to prepare for my first day at Boston Children's Hospital. I am going to meet those children who are fighting for their lives, defeating cancer. I am not really into children but I do love helping people. Nothing special about the day aside from I am going to work with my favorite aunt.

I open my eyes as soon as I heard my alarm. As usual, I had to wait for 2 minutes before I finally get up. I turned my speakers on and played my favorite music in the morning. I danced as I heard Square playing by Yerin Baek.

I do usually listen to this song every morning to set my mood.

"All the colors and personalities

You can't see right through what I truly am

You're hurting me without noticing

I'm so, so broke like someone just robbed me"

*RING...RING*

my phone suddenly rings while I was dancing and drinking my coffee. I had to put my coffee back on my table and take my phone above the speaker, I walked slowly while still feeling the mood of a good day. as I get near my phone I saw who is calling, *Fav Aunt calling...* I get confused because it is just 7 in the morning and there is no way I am already late. I had to answer the call and,

"Hello, Louise!" I said in a very light tone. "Hi, Darling! Are you getting ready?" She asked. "Hmm... yeah, I am just taking a cup of coffee and I will take a shower after. What is the matter aunt?" I asked curiously. "Nothing, Jane. I am just checking on you if you are getting ready already. But anyway darling, see you later, okay?" she said. "Yes, Louise! See you later. love you!" and then I hang up. I sat on my sofa and scroll around social media when I saw a picture of Brandon and his girlfriend. They look cute together and no wonder, they both look good anyway. I scroll more around f*******: when I saw a lot from college. I decided to delete my account and forget about the past and start a new life. I tapped the 'my profile' to 'security' to 'delete this account' I took a deep breath before deleting it because I have a lot of memories in this account but, how can I start again if I still have something, I need to let things go as where they should be. I tapped delete this account and there is something popped up saying, "Are you sure you want to delete this account?" It seems like I am talking to a demon beside me on what I need to do.

I tapped yes and when it appeared successfully deleted, there is some urge I feel inside that I want to take it back. it feels weird but what can I do, I already deleted it.

As soon as I finished my coffee I fixed my bed put everything back in place and started to choose what outfit I am going to wear today. Since it is a Children's hospital, it has to be presentable, neat, and simple.

I took my most comfortable T-shirt from my closet and my fitted blue jeans. I chose to wear my white sneakers so I would look fine and approachable. In my whole life, I never imagine that I would prepare for this, for something like this that I have to wear something decent for someone else and yes, for the children and yes, understandable. I would never do this for a guy, but for a child... probably yes.

I took my towel and immediately removed my pajama and enter the bathroom. I am fully naked as I have seen myself from the mirror, I imagined how I have changed. How I ruined myself just to be accepted by the people I get to live with back in college. But, now, I promised myself to change and aim for the betterment of myself and never let anyone dictate how I am going to live my life. I exist and I am a different person. I will never let others' criticism change how I see myself as a person and as a human being.

I turned my shower on and as soon as the water touches my skin, I can feel how those guys removed my dress, take advantage of me, although some of it is my fault, I can feel the trauma inside me. being used and get cheated on. I would never do that to myself.

As I finished taking a bath, I immediately took my bathrobe and walk in front of the mirror. I can see myself as a grown-up and I graduated college successfully and I have a lot of time to change my destiny. I have a lot of time to gain confidence again and face the reality of life.

I took those clothes that I prepared and I put some makeup on just a simple look and tied my hair upward.

I heard my phone ringing and for sure it's already my aunt.

"Hello, Louise!" I said. "Hello, Jane! Are you ready?" She asked with a polite tone. "Uhm... Yes, Aunt. Do you mind if I go with you today? Since I don't know how to get there on my own, is it okay if you pick me up? just for today Louise, please?" I said like a toddler asking for a toy. "Aww... Jane! You sound so cute! of course, darling! Anytime! but you have to memorize how to get there, okay? Sometimes, I have a different schedule so I will not be able to pick you up." She said with a serious tone. "Sure thing, Louise! Thank you so much! I love you!" She smirked and said, "Alright, I am on my way, get ready! love you too darling!"

I immediately picked my bag and my phone before my aunt came. Suddenly a ford explorer, parked in front of my house and yes, that is Louise.

"Hi, Darling! Are you ready? This is your first day. I am so glad to have an opportunity to work with you!" she said while jumping out of her car. "Thank you, Aunt! I am melting! I love your car by the way, when did you buy this?" I asked with curiosity. "Why, do you want it? I just bought it 5 months ago, I am planning to buy a new one this coming month, do you want it?" She said while laughing. "Oh no, Louise! I am fine but thanks. I appreciate it." I enter her car.

As we traveled the road to the hospital, my aunt suddenly asked, "Do you still talk to Brandon? How is your relationship with him?" I looked at her and it seems she doesn't know that Brandon has a new girlfriend already and had forgotten about me already. I sighed and responded, "He is fine. We broke up a long time ago. When I was in college, I experienced a lot of challenges and one of that is our relationship." I can feel her driving slowly and looking at me, "I am so sorry to hear that honey, I wasn't aware of that. I am sorry for asking." she said. "No it's fine Louise, I accepted everything and I am willing to start a new life that is why I decided to go back here, in Boston," I said. "Well, that's a great way of moving forward. I remember when I was your age, I was also broken-hearted. My long-term boyfriend had an affair we are engaged at that time. all of us thought that I will get married first before your mom because he was my boyfriend for almost 5 years. But unfortunately, he has an affair. Well, he tried to win me back but I was traumatized. So, I wasn't able to give him another chance. I guess I was too hurt that time and I wasn't able to find a piece of me that wants him to go back in my life. I decided to live on my own since I am always independent. But don't ever think that all men are trash

because your father, my father is not. They are just

humans too." I looked at the highway and keep listening

to my aunt, "When I finished college, I thought I would be

a happy wife, going to get married, get pregnant, have my

own family, but as the time goes by, working in a hospital

that full of cancer patients, most are kids, I changed my

perspective in life, life isn't always about us. It revolves

around so many circumstances. a lot of people living

their best lives, some are risking their lives for others, and

some are living for others and that's where I found my

purpose. I lived for others. When I started to realize that it

is my purpose, I started to appreciate every human that

wakes up every day because most of my patients weren't

able to defeat cancer and that is the most painful part of

being a doctor. like, no matter how you prayed for them

to live and stay healthy they can not. So I learned to

value each people's life." She said while crying. "l learned

a lot in life, especially when my ex's daughter became my

patient." The whole car was covered with silence till my aunt talked again, "I was working in the hospital back then for 2 years and under those years, we were the best hospital and has the most number of cancer survivors..." I can hear her voice starting to crumble but she continued, "...I remember when my nurse walks up to me and said, we have a new patient a 4-year-old child, girl, has a stage 3 Chronic lymphocytic leukemia. It was saddening to hear that kind of situation in the hospital and one thing for sure is that I want to ask the parents, why they waited for the disease to get worse before bringing the girl there to our hospital. As usual, I walked down the hospital aisle and I saw a child sitting in her wheelchair, and beside her are her parents. As soon as I saw her, I can feel some ache inside my heart, and when I saw her parents yes, it is my ex with his wife. I want to cry that time but I have to stay proficient and it stunned me when the mother, the lady that my ex used to cheat on me, leaned on her knees pleading for me to save her child. She was crying and begging, I can't even take a stare in her eyes, and all I heard was, 'I am begging you, save my child. I wasn't able to ask for your forgiveness I will do everything for you just please save my daughter.' I stayed professional and asked the child if she's okay with what she was feeling and then I talked to them as a usual client, 'I will do everything I can do for your child.' and then I turned my back and started crying because I don't want to show them my vulnerability after everything they did to me, I am saving the result of their secret affair." I was shocked about my aunt's story and I couldn't even say a word but I just tapped her back and said, "You did a great job, Louise."