The shy's girl crush

Chapter nine - Dylan's sketches

Loren's POV:

Dylan and I have been FaceTiming almost every day for the past week. I was surprised at how calm I was. Usually, I am a nervous mess. Mostly that happens when we have to talk in person. I'm trying to calm down and accept him as an ordinary boy. It's not like this is working. After all, he looks great, and sometimes I stare at him. Let's hope that he hasn't noticed that. Maybe he did, but at least Dylan didn't say anything. We study every day. That's why we use FaceTime. Also, I feel better talking like that. I should face my fears one day, but I don't know when. Honestly, I'm jealous of Alice. She doesn't have this problem. We talked yesterday about Jackson. My best friend wants to talk to him. That will happen when they are alone. Otherwise, Christina might say something. I don't understand what this girl needs. She has everything. I mean, people in school like her. She can have every boy she wants. I think she might be doing this because of Dylan. He is talking with me, and she doesn't like it. That's why she will use Jackson. The thing is that this boy is not guilty of anything. People getting used is not something I like. That's what she is doing. Let's hope that Christina is not dating him. Alice will get mad. It's enough that she is already upset about this. I want to help her, but I don't know how. Sadly, I'm not good at conversations eye to eye. Maybe I can make Jackson come to her. They need to talk, but it can't be in school. I can gladly ask Dylan for help, but he can't do anything. He tried calling his best friend a couple of times without result. I don't know how Alice and I ended up here. We were two best friends crushing on two best friends. Now we have to fix their relations. Well, I'll help with what I can. After all, I know how she feels. I hope everything will be how it was and no one will get hurt. That is the last thing I want to happen.

It's the weekend again. That means I don't have any plans. I wanted to go out with Alice, but she might stay home. The whole Jackson situation is getting her, especially what he said in the boy's room that day. I know he didn't mean it for real. It's like someone has brainwashed the boy. Then they told him what to do and say. I can't prove it's Christina, but no one else can do that. Also, it happened after he reunited with her and the girls. It can't be a coincidence. Things don't happen like that.

Currently, I am in my room. My parents walked out. I pulled out my sketchbook. I called it Dylan's sketches. Let's say that here I only draw him. Call me obsessed, but I still like him. It's not like he will understand that. As long as Alice keeps her mouth shut, I'm good. She only wants to help me, but sometimes she makes things worse. Up to now, I have like more than twenty sketches of him. I have practiced writing him a letter where I tell him everything. Luckily, he won't receive it. The sketchbook is in my top drawer, which has a key. Soon there was a knock on the door, and Alice walked in.

- Hello.

- Hey. I thought you were busy.

- I planned to stay at home, but then I remembered you. Your shyness is contagious. - Alice said, chuckling

- Very funny. What do you want us to do?

- Nothing. Can I snuggle?

- Sure. Come here.

- Thanks. I need this. - my best friend said and snuggled

- No problem.

- Hey, is that Dylan?

- Um, no. - I said and quickly closed my sketchbook

- Yes, it is. Why are you drawing him?

- No, I'm not.

- Loren, I saw it. That was him. Don't you want to tell me something?

- I have nothing to tell you.

- Are you sure?

- Yes.

- Then you won't mind if I check over this diary or whatever this thing is.

- I'm sorry, but that is personal.

- Best friends don't have secrets.

- Please, don't start.

- I only want to see it, nothing else. You can relax. I won't tell Dylan.

- What will you do with Jackson?

- Finding the right moment to talk to him. Hey, don't change the topic!

- I'm not. I see how much it's affecting you.

- Honestly, he is only a boy. One hot boy.

- Then?

- I don't know. I feel like whatever I say, Jackson won't trust me.

- I'm sure you can handle this.

- I hope so. By the way, what is that?

- What?

- I got it! - Alice said and took my sketchbook

- No! Give it back.

- No way. I want to see it.

- Alice! It's not funny. Please, give it back.

- Why don't you want me to see it?

- Because it's personal. No one should know about this.

- Except for me.

- No!

- Yes! - my best friend said and opened it

She was looking at my sketches and then at me. I already know what she will say. It's a bit embarrassing. Well, that is my way of dealing with the situation. I expected her to start laughing, but no. Alice was serious.

- Is that you?

- No. Why would I dram myself with Dylan?

- Because you have had a crush on him since we came to high school.

- Please don't tell anyone.

- Relax. I have to say that you are good. Dylan deserves to see it.

- No! He will think I'm obsessed with him.

- Aren't you? - Alice asked, chuckling

- Maybe. I don't know. I still don't know how to talk to him properly.

- Ok, get up.

- Why?

- We are going out. I don't want to stay here all day, discussing boys.

- Then what do you want us to do?

- I don't know. We can go to the cinema or eat something for lunch.

- Ok, let's go.

Both with Alice walked out. Luckily, she didn't laugh at my sketches. I didn't plan for her to understand this, but it's ok. She is the only one who can know it. We walked to a fast food restaurant. Alice left me to take a table while she took our food. That's when I saw Jackson and Christina. Oh, no. She better not get this view. I quickly sat on the other side of the table. That way, Alice will see only me. Otherwise, she might get upset. I don't know what these two are talking about right now. As I see it, Christina got what she wanted. Sadly, Jackson is her victim.

- Here is your food.

- Thanks. If you want, we can go to the cinema later.

- Yeah, why not. Can I know why you are drawing Dylan?

- Not again.

- Please.

- I don't know. That is my way of dealing with the situation.

- All you have to do is tell him how you feel.

- You know that I can't do that. Why do you keep saying it?

- Because you have to be more open. Loren, if you want him to notice you, make a move.

- He did it without me doing anything.

- That was luck. Don't you want to be with him?

- I thought you didn't want us to talk about boys.

- I meant my problem.

- Look, I want to enjoy my food.

After lunch, we walked to a cinema. I left Alice to pick the movie. I'm a bit tired, and I might sleep through it. The noise is not a problem at all. You have to be kidding me. Jackson and Christina were right in front of us. This time, Alice saw them. She didn't say anything. After twenty minutes, Dylan appeared.

- Hey, girls. I got your message. What's up?

- Nothing. I wanted to watch a movie with you and Loren.

- Ok, what are we watching? - Dylan asked, looking at me

- I-I don't know. She picked it.

- Isn't that Jackson? And Christina? - he whispered

- Yes, they are.

- Can we enjoy the movie? - Alice asked

- Yes. - I said

- Now, I know why she invited me.

- I didn't even know she texted you - I said, whispering

- It's ok. I didn't have plans.

- You don't, but I need to get the books soon.

- Can't you rest one day?

- If I do it, I will like it. That means I will start doing it too often. It's better if I don't do anything.

- It's ok.

During the whole movie, I was next to Dylan. Luckily, he was paying attention to the screen. It's not like my cheeks weren't red like a tomato. That is not something I can control. Christina has been doing everything possible to make Alice jealous. Is it possible for her to know that my best friend has a crush on him? No one knows about this except for Dylan and me. Maybe she isn't doing it because of her. I don't want to think about this now.

After the movie, we walked to a coffee shop. I want to go home already, but Alice won't let me. Dylan texted Jackson, but there was no response. I slightly looked at his phone and understood why. I guess he didn't notice it.

- D-Dylan?

- Yes.

- Jackson has blocked you. That's why he is not answering. Look here. It says the message didn't get delivered.

- I haven't noticed that. Great. Now I can't talk to him.

- I'm sorry.

- For what? It's not your fault.

- I know, but you two are best friends. I can't imagine myself without Alice. - I said and looked at her

My best friend has rested her head on the window. Her body was here, but not her head. I believe she is thinking about Jackson. I don't know what to do to make her feel better. I sat next to Alice and pulled her for a hug. It's not much, but I can't do anything else. At least I am here. Dylan is alone.

- He will come back. - Dylan said

- It's not that.

- You can lie to everyone else except me. - I said

- Can you leave me alone?

- The way you did?

- Fine. Whatever.

- I only want to help you.

- You can't. This time, I have to do this on my own.

- Nothing is stopping you. Why don't you text Jackson?

- What do I have to tell him? Hey, can we talk? Also, you are crazy.

- That will work.

- No!

- Alice, hide your number and text him. He won't know who it is and will go wherever you tell him. My friend is a curious person.

- Dylan, do you think it will work?

- Yes, I am sure.

- Ok, but I won't do it today. I want to rest.

- Everything will be fine. You will see.

We stayed in the coffee shop for a while. Later, Alice went home. I invited her for dinner and a sleepover, but she denied it. I know she is not in the mood, but I don't want her to be like me. Dylan and I walked around the town. That was his idea. I would love to go home, but he won't let me. The boy wants to spend more time with me in person.

- Do you think he will listen to her?

- Who? Jackson?

- Yes.

- He better do it. Otherwise, I will beat him up.

- I'm serious.

- Me too. I want my best friend back, but the way he was.

- I think we want too much.

- I don't know what to do with him. Honestly, I can't believe he blocked me.

- What if he didn't do it?

- What do you mean?

- Maybe Christina took his phone and blocked you. Jackson might not even know about this.

- It makes sense, but I can't talk with him alone. She is always around.

- Alice and I will take care of her.

- How?

- I don't know.

- Tell me if you need help with the plan.

- Ok, I will.

I went home for dinner. Dad was setting the table. I wonder where my mom is. Usually, she takes care of the food. I sat down and waited for them. Dad put on two plates, and we started eating. I believe my mom is not here. Well, she can't be all the time with us. Also, I like spending time with my dad. After all, I see them after work. During the other time, all of us are busy.

- Won't you tell me where mom is?

- She went out with friends. Tonight will be only you and me.

- Great. What do you want us to do?

- I'll leave you to decide.

- Ok, then. Can we lay in bed and do nothing?

- It works for me.

That is what we did. I helped my dad with the dishes after dinner. I don't know when my mom will come. Honestly, she deserves to do something for herself. She takes care of my dad and me every day. I waited for him to lay down and snuggled. I have missed this. Doing it with my dad was always something special.

- Is everything ok?

- Yes, why?

- You haven't done this in a while.

- Because you are always busy. Mom is too.

- I'm sorry. We have a lot of work.

- It's ok. After all, we need money.

- How are things with you? Something new?

- Not really. I don't do anything.

- You can start going out. Maybe a boy will notice you.

- No, thanks. I'm good.

- Loren, you can't keep avoiding people.

- I am doing a pretty good job at it.

- You have only one friend, and I'm worried you might end up lonely.

- Dad, relax. I am fine. As you can see, nothing happened to me.

- Don't you like someone?

- Fine. I have been going out with someone from time to time. Mostly, I made the boy use FaceTime.

- Why?

- Because, that way, I feel better. I can't talk with him in person. I start getting nervous and can barely make a whole sentence. Technically, I do this with everyone. I am bad at communication.

- That's because you don't have practice. Use this boy as a chance.

- I don't know. It's not that easy.

- I'm sure you will be fine.

- Let's say that I believe you.

Dad and I talked until my mom came home. I didn't want to move, but my parents would get tired. I miss when I was little and slept with them. Now I am too old for this. Also, it will be weird. Dad is not wrong that I have to socialize more. The thing is that I can't do it. I am uncomfortable talking with people in person. I feel their judgment when I see them. Maybe they don't think badly of me, but I see it that way. Probably I think a lot. Dylan said there was nothing wrong with me. It means a lot when he says it. It's better if I focus on myself more. I hope that I won't be so shy when I grow up.