My Soul Mate is in a Coma

“He must have died along the way, my prince charming. That could explain his absence all this time. That clumsy man-child must have tripped on thorns of protruding roots on his way to my castle , hit his head on a rock and bled himself to death. Or maybe he had lost his way inside a garden maze and starved to death. The dude must have bitten from a poisonous apple and die; or he must have pricked himself with a needle and fell into a decade long slumber. I do not really care anymore why it is taking him this long to find me. I am done waiting, I have had enough. I am tired of crying my heart out each night hoping that somebody out there could hear the sound of my weeping. I no longer see the sense of believing that someone would eventually find me by following the sound of my grief and rescue me from despair. Maybe that pathetic loser heard and followed someone else’s weep mistaking it was mine; it does not bother me anymore. All I know now is that I am no princess and there is no prince out there in the wilderness struggling to find his way to me. I am no princess with long blonde hair whose prince is about to save her from stupid towers or ugly monsters. I am just a plain girl with a hideous bob haircut; whose skin has survived bouts of puberty acne breakouts. I am just a self proclaimed princess with her prince charming still MIA; downing these shots of tequila on this lovely evening. Accepting the possibility that her prince charming must have been hit by a truck or got murdered on a cold pavement. That totally makes sense why still nobody came to take me home to his castle So damn those skinny princesses; and their golden voices and boring song numbers which can navigate charming princes more than Waze can. Damn those wicked step sisters and step mothers too! ‘Cause guess what, ladies? You are not wicked enough to stop the princesses and their gorgeous princes from living happily ever after. You only had one job and you failed at it miserably. You caused us young girls to grow up hopeful that true love can conquer all. You screwed up big time and you have been conquered ! So tough luck next time, ladies! Now I am here with a bitter realisation. I mean, come on, I could have rooted for you, guys Or maybe, just maybe, he is the one who needs saving. Yeah, it’s the 21st century, or the 22nd I think? Doesn’t matter! Maybe instead of waiting for the motherfucker, I should be the one to find him If indeed he has encountered an accident. Then I proclaim; my soul mate, my clumsy prince charming; must have been in a coma all this time. And I just need to look for him in every hospitals in the country!”