Beautifully Ruined

Masochist --a person who finds pleasure, satisfaction, or emotional comfort in pain, suffering, or humiliation. What are you willing to do for love? If that is the inquiry, I already have an answer to that. I will beg. That’s what I learned from my surroundings. I lived with my grandmother when I was ten years old and witnessed how she begged her beloved to visit her through letters. Even just one glance from him would have made her happy. But Lola died without receiving anything in response. After years of sending him letters, he never once tried to answer her. All she did was beg for him to visit her, and she failed. When Lola died, I had to live with my mother’s family, and I learned to beg for their affection. Uncle Rue doesn’t like me around, and I can tell that my sisters are all annoyed at me. Mommy had to talk to my father so he could pay attention to me too, but it never happened. When I was introduced to him, he immediately said that the public must not know anything about me. I am a product of adultery. My mother got pregnant with me by my father while he already had a wife who was also pregnant with my sibling. Dad didn’t take responsibility for me and decided to give Mommy a lot of money, which she used to change her life, and that’s when she met her husband. Basically, I was left alone, and even within my own family, I had to beg for even the smallest amount of attention and love—and before I could even receive it, I had to work hard for it. I had to beg for Mommy’s attention and Daddy’s approval of me as his daughter. What are you willing to do for love? Beg. That’s what I will do. That’s what I’m good at. That’s why I keep doing it. I keep trying to get him to notice me. I keep waiting for the moment he would look at me again. Even if I get disappointed over and over, I will still keep hoping that one day, I will succeed. “Really, Eve? We’re doing this just for that bastard?” Malyca asked with a grimace. She’s my friend. Not my best friend, just a friend. I really think the two have a big difference. A best friend’s breakup is worse than a friend’s separation. “It’ll just be quick. That girl looks like she’s about to leave,” I said as I fixed my hair. “Once she’s gone, we’ll go in and pretend we didn’t know Tyron was there.” She snorted at me. I looked at her with a pout, clasping both my hands and blinking repeatedly. “Pretty please,” I said, acting cute. Malyca had no choice but to come with me. We waited for thirty minutes before the girl left while fixing her clothes. She was also having difficulty taking bigger steps. I pouted. They probably did something inside. Malyca and I went in, and I started talking about a topic she couldn’t follow at first. From my peripheral vision, I clearly saw Tyron’s group turn their attention to us. I laughed elegantly and pretended to look around at the items. “This is a f*****g kink store. It’s just pretending to be a coffee shop!” Malyca said through gritted teeth while still smiling. Her hand gripped mine and secretly pinched me. She pointed with her lips, and I followed her gaze. I thought it was just a design, but it was actually a closet with its doors wide open, displaying unusual items. There was a line of men’s private parts displayed there in different sizes and materials. My eyes widened slightly. Indeed! I thought this was a coffee shop, and this was my first time trying to enter just to see Tyron. He loves coming here, and I really thought he loved coffee just like me. Why are there more bottles of liquor here? They even look expensive and are displayed openly! From the way Malyca held onto me, I could tell she wasn’t comfortable with the ambiance and the attention directed at us. The way people were staring at us felt like it pierced right through. “Hehe… let’s go now, Eve,” she said, smiling, but her eyes were sharp. I paused for a moment, unable to process what I was seeing. “Woah, woah! Morcan has a new customer!” someone from behind teased, and I’m sure he was one of Tyron’s friends. I gathered my courage and went back to stick to the plan. I pretended to be surprised. “Oh! It’s you guys…” I said with a smile. I felt Malyca pinch my arm again, but I didn’t falter. I took the chance to look at Tyron, and my breath almost stopped when our eyes met—his cold, sharp gaze locking with mine. He was holding a glass of liquor in his right hand, bringing it to his lips. The way the glass slid across his lips looked almost indecent. He leaned against the bar counter with both elbows resting on it. A grin crossed his lips after a minute of eye contact. “Look who we have here,” he said in a playful yet mocking tone. I smirked for a moment before turning my attention to the s*x toys beside me. My eyes searched for something more decent, but there was nothing. I took a deep breath and picked up something that looked like a hair curler, except it had spiral bumps as a design. It looked fancy in a shimmering dark red color. “What do you think of this, Lyca?” I turned to her and smiled fakely. Her eyes widened, and she almost shook her head but seemed too embarrassed. “That’s a vibrator, Eve,” she said, followed by a soft laugh. I almost gasped and wanted to put it back, but a hand captured mine. He also held the item I was holding. “This is a better choice, though,” he said in a normal voice, yet it sounded sensual to me. He examined it, his long fingers pressing the switch. The thing vibrated, making me lose my grip on it. When I looked at Tyron, he was already smirking. “It has buttons for different intensities. Why not buy it, hmm?” he asked, licking his lips while looking at me darkly. I gulped, not knowing what to do. God! Different intensities? It was already strong earlier. He bent slightly and pressed something below, and when it appeared, both Malyca and I gasped. It was a silicone mannequin of a woman’s lower body. Her legs were spread wide, her private part exposed. Tyron moved the vibrator toward it and gently slid it inside. He didn’t turn it off, so the sound echoed as it vibrated inside the mannequin. Tyron started pulling it in and out as if it were just a toy. It looked so sensual. “So…” he called my attention. I looked at him and saw his eyes fixed on me, burning with something I couldn’t understand. He licked his lips, making them even redder. There was still a hint of a smirk. Somehow, the air inside felt hot. Or maybe… it was him. “Will you buy it? Hmm?” The vibrator’s sound grew louder, now at its highest intensity. “You’ll have your release in, I guess… five minutes or less,” he added, wiggling his brows. “We’re not buying that,” Malyca said, as if I had forgotten she was there. “Morcan has a lot of other items,” Zath Delicante added. Tyron threw him a quick glance before looking back at me. “This will hurt if you’re a virgin, Avaya. You should leave now,” his tone suddenly turned sharp. I immediately shook my head. “N-No! I’ll buy it!” I said loudly. I don’t know why it felt more embarrassing not to buy it than to actually buy that obscene thing. I swallowed repeatedly before taking it from his hand. Tyron turned off the vibrator before letting me take it. I heard him put the silicone mannequin back. “How about dildos?” Zath teased. I smirked. “I don’t need that,” I said, lifting the vibrator slightly. “This is enough. I’ll take this.” I heard Malyca sigh exaggeratedly as I walked to the counter. “Morcan, new customer!” one of Tyron’s friends announced. All their attention was on me, amused. “I’m still impressed by girls who are brave enough to buy things like that,” Giovanni said with a grin. Tyron hissed. I felt the heat behind me coming from him, making my skin prickle. “Pay and leave, Avaya,” he said, his voice more serious now. My body stiffened when he lowered his lips near my ear. I could feel the danger in his breath against my skin. His hand found my waist and gently pinched it as a warning. My hands trembled as I took my card and handed it to the man they called Morcan. He smirked at me before using it. Moments later, he returned it, placing the vibrator neatly in a fancy box inside a plain paper bag. Tyron traced my nape down to my shoulder with his nose. My heart pounded uncontrollably. “Do not come here again, Avaya, or you wouldn’t like what I’m going to do to you,” he said dangerously. I faced him, slightly scared. His dark, heavy-lidded eyes drilled into me. I gulped when his lips curved. He grabbed a stool and sat down, lowering himself slightly below my height. His gaze fell on my low neckline, exposing my cleavage. He raised his hand and adjusted it without warning. I felt the roughness of his hand against my chest, and the heat from that simple gesture almost burned me. His movements were rough and firm, making him even more attractive. When he was satisfied, he gestured for us to leave. I pressed my lips and nodded. I tried to glance at his friends to say goodbye, but he stopped me. “Move now, Av. Before I drag you out of this place,” he demanded. I quickly turned and faced Malyca, who was glaring at us. We left the place feeling cold and shaken.