Rising Alpha

I know it's getting bad, I just can't stop it. Something inside me knows I shouldn't be shifted as much as I am. It's easier to crawl into the back of my mind and let my wolf take control. She knows how to survive. I read an article that severe trauma blocks memories - sometimes things feel familiar, but I don't truly recognize anything. I hardly ever walk the streets of the city as a human; that would be asking for trouble. People aren't kind or gentle to street dogs either, but at least she can defend herself. A wolf doesn't have pockets to pick from, or anything worth stealing for that matter. Most people dismiss us as a filthy street stray. We both know the truth. She's been mor restless than usual. I know she can smell something that I don't recognize. It's familiar to her; I think she remembers things I don't. Maybe that's why it feels wrong to let her be so in control. Almost everything I know is instinct now. I probably wouldn't even be able to talk if I tried. She does most of the work. I've never really known my wolf, why I shifted into one, how this all started or even why it started. I come forward in my wolf's mind, looking through her eyes for the first time in what feels like days. Dirty paws pad through a dimly lit alley. Sludge has matted my fur, but the stench does little to deter my hunt. a plump rat sitting close to a dumpster could be my freshest meal this week. I suddenly feel intine with her, my wolf, as she stalks a narrow path. Slinking through shadows and prowling ever closer before the pounce. The life water. I know she feels better after meals like this. A shallow satisfaction fills me, but it's twinged with guilt. 'We deserve better than rats.' Her voice echos through my skull. I don't respond to her; it's rare that she communicates with me anymore, and every time she does, it gives me a migraine. 'You're growing weak.' Her glossy words echo again. 'You need to shift before I overpower you.' 'It hasn't been that long, Kyra.' I respond, shrinking back into our mind. 'It has been weeks.' Kyra corrects me with a snarl. 'You don't know that you'll overpower me- we don't even know that there is actually something wrong with living like this.' I reply with a mental eye roll and sigh. I know she'll force the shift anyway. 'It feels wrong, for one. Besides the fact that we are already borderline feral.' By the time she finishes giving me a headache, I can feel her retreating. The shifts feel even more rough, and I have been trying to ignore this as an aging factor. Kyra, of course, argues and denies that it could be age. Kyra has told me time and time again that the shifts should get easier with age until I'm an elder- and that it should take me more than twice as long as a human to reach that point in age. The cracking of my bones hurts almost as much as the first time they were rearranged. The fur receding burns like a first shift too. Maybe I am becoming feral, or maybe it's my poor diet. I know something has to change, and as I feel Kyra curl up in the back of my mind to sleep, I know for sure that she is too beautiful to deserve to die a street mutt's death. Kyra's shadow walking pays off. I escaped a homeless camp with a clean-enough-to-wear sweat shirt and sweatpants. The first shift had taught me that public nudity was frowned upon, and Kyra loathed the cell the police gave us, even though the clothes were clean and dry. It was going to cut out to be a long night. A night I wasn't prepared to be awake for. Kyra claimed I slept for weeks, but I feel like she's just getting tired of being the pilot. The smell of a pizzeria has me drooling, my feet leading me there before I can stop myself. The window gives me a clear view of the hot pizza and guests eating inside, but my reflection gives me pause. Matted blonde hair, no shoes, and dirt smeared across exposed skin. Even if I had money, they wouldn't serve me anything. Most of the restaurants didn't flat out refuse the homeless, but they tried to deter them. I could imagine my look and smell would drive away better-paying customers. I could only sigh, but it didn't pull my eyes off of the delicious slices of pizza sitting on the trays just beyond the window. I could probably devour a whole pie at this point. I could suddenly feel Kyra stirring in the back of my mind. It was unusual for her to move much after our shifts. Normally, she went right to rest and trusted me to wake her should there be any issues. 'Rest, Kyra, it's okay.' I reassured her as my focus came back to my reflection. She growled softly, as if she was having a nightmare, but gave no other response. The scent hit me like a brick wall, having me spin in place as if it were right behind me. I couldn't see anything, but I could definitely smell blood. Moving quickly, I put myself in the alley behind the pizzeria. The dumpster I was using for cover felt smaller as three wolves crept in the shadows across the street. I held my breath, hoping the stench of the dumpster was enough to mask my own scent. The largest of the three was the darkest, with grains of lighter colors near his neck and belly. One of the others appeared to be gray, and the third was a reddish brown under the shifting outward glow of the streetlight. 'Kyra, there are wolves here.' I felt Kyra come front and center in my mind, but we both knew shifting right now was a terrible idea. The sounds my bones would make, and the stronger wolf scent would sell us out. I cringed at the idea of more wolves in the city, but I was fascinated by them in the same breath. My own kind was here; I could feel Kyra bristling in my mind, her body so tense it was making my muscles hurt. 'Kyra, relax, you're going to force a shift,' I muttered to her. 'What the hell are they doing in the city?' 'The larger one and the brown one reek of blood.' She growled. 'They are hunting in my territory.' Her growls grew stronger, forcing a growl out of me. The largest of the wolves stopped, his head immediately seeking me out as his eyes narrowed. s**t. His head tilted slightly, his eyes not leaving us as the other two wolves headed in two different directions. Under his gaze, I could feel his power. 'Do not run, you will provoke him. Shift.' Kyra's instructions were clear. I shifted immediately; she was better suited in dealing with him than I was. He approached slowly, as if stalking us from head on. Kyra growled in warning, but his piercing yellow eyes admitted so much power I could feel it through her. A snarl ripped through her and her teeth snapped as he neared lunging distance. His head picked up, his tail raised high in dominance. 'How dare you hunt in my territory.' Kyra's menacing growl pierced the air. 'Curious.' His voice was like velvet, and he yawned before speaking to her again. 'I was unaware of a pack in the city.' ' You have come into my territory.' Taking a step forward, Kyra continued growling. 'You hunt here, then mock me to my face?'