A New Beginning

Four years ago, during a trip to Las Vegas, I ended up marrying Jason James, a friend of a friend. That night is still a complete blur, even though I only had two cocktails. My friends said that after my second drink, the one that Jason provided, my mood changed instantly. It was as if I had this burst of energy and nothing was off limits. Throughout the night, they claimed Jason didn’t let me out of his sight and was the one that volunteered to take me back to my room.  Since we were all friends, they thought nothing of it. Jason had never outwardly expressed any romantic feelings toward me, so no one was worried about his intentions when he offered to help me back to my room. My best friend Natalie told me that sometime between the club and my room, Jason and I got married.  People get married all the time in Las Vegas, so getting an annulment would not be an issue, or at least that is what I thought. Two days after returning home, Jason and I went to hang out with our friends at the mall. He actually bought us wedding bands while there. I told him we were getting an annulment, and a ring was unnecessary. “This ring is just to remember that we were married, even if it was just a short time,” Jason said as a way to explain it away.. Jason spent a lot of time with me during the day, pulling me away from our friends to have some time alone. During these little conversations, he seemed like he was a nice guy. He just wasn’t the guy that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I was only 19 years old after all and had things I wanted to accomplish before I settled down. Jason had his future planned out. After college, he was going to return home and work in his family’s law firm as a paralegal part-time while working full-time in a county clerk’s office. Jason was a double major like me, but our ambitions just did not line up. His family lives in a small town in Nevada where it is hot and dry. They only have a couple of stores, so for any major shopping, drive an hour away.  About a month after we got back from Las Vegas, I had the papers drawn up for the annulment and gave them to Jason. He took them while claiming he didn’t have time to sign them. Even though it was an annulment, he wanted his attorney to read through them to make sure there weren’t any hidden loopholes.  While waiting for the papers, Jason became more attentive. Showing up in the morning with breakfast and coffee when he knew I had a long night. Then, whenever we went out with our friends, he stuck close to me. Even our friends questioned the nature of the relationship. It was stifling. If I tried to talk to another guy, he would remind me we are still married, and that is not how a married woman should behave.  In the beginning, I tried to reason with him and remind him of the annulment papers. He kept making excuses why he had not signed them. I even reached out to my family’s attorney to draw up another set and have him meet me there to sign the papers. He conveniently never showed up. That is when the flowers and gifts showed up. Sometimes he would even order me dinner so that I would not have to cook after a long day of classes and studying. Then he would praise the way I looked, even with my hair in a messy bun and no makeup on. Those brief comments are how he reeled me in. I tried to date other guys, but I would find Jason at my front door instead of my date. Jason claimed that if I was going to go out on a date, it should be with my husband.  Repeatedly, I asked him where the annulment papers were and why they hadn’t been filed yet. He always responded the same way. “My attorney is very busy and agreed to do this Pro Bono, so he will have to read through the papers in his free time.” After about the tenth time, I quit asking. There was no point in bringing it up anymore. Three months after we got married, Jason rented a beach house for everyone so that we could have a weekend to unwind and just hang out. When I tried to get out of it, our friends convinced me that this would be a good chance for all of us to spend time together. During dinner Friday night, Jason casually let it slip that we had been married during our Vegas trip. I knew there was a reason for this weekend.  He wanted our friends to know that we were married and that the weekend trip was to celebrate our three-month marriage. He also explained that we had discussed getting an annulment but wanted the opinions of our group. Which is why he had everyone take a vote on whether we should give this marriage a chance. Apparently, everyone was excited for us and agreed that we made a great couple. Except for my best friend. She knew our plans didn’t line up together, but she had also been my friend since middle school. Going for a walk, I found myself with my best friend sitting on the beach, staring out into the abyss. Jason and a few others approaching us with drinks was the last thing that I remembered. Waking up the next morning with a massive headache, I found myself wrapped up in someone’s arms and we were both naked. Instinctively, I knew it was Jason. Now the slumber party idea made sense. He had been trying to get me into his bed since the night we returned home. “Harlow, go back to sleep. It is too early to get up, and I want us to spend some time lying around today.” Jason said.  I sighed before responding. “I have to use the restroom, and I need some coffee. My head hurts and I can’t remember anything past sitting on the beach.” “You had a few too many drinks. I brought you in here right before you vomited all over yourself. It is why we are both naked.” “You could have just let the girls dress me. Why didn’t one of the girls help?” “Why wouldn’t I want to take care of my wife? That is what a husband does, after all. He takes care of his wife, his most valuable prized possession.” UGH! There it was again. His answer to everything that he did for me, “I am your husband after all,” was the most annoying phrase he used. Sometimes I wanted to hit him with something when he said that to me. It would be another three months that that phrase would be a mantra for everything I did for him or he did something for me. It was also the reason behind my moving in with him. I mean, we are married and married couples live together. After a while, it just makes sense. It took me two months to quit asking for the papers after I stayed with him that first night. Gradually, I accepted him as my husband and before long, we were living in a one-bedroom apartment.  Even though we were in Santa Barbara, where I grew up and my parents still lived, he had yet to meet them. When the semester ended, instead of visiting my parents, we went to visit his family.  It was a moment of drunken stupidity that we got, but it was his constant presence that wore me down. He was always there, making sure that I was eating healthily or getting enough sleep. Sometimes he was even my study buddy, even though we didn’t have any of the same classes. My major was Marine Biology and Microbiology. By the age of thirty, I wanted to be finished with my double major and working out at sea.  Those plans have now changed. Now I want to make sure that Jason is taken care of. As his wife, it is MY job to make sure that his dinner is ready when he gets home, even if that is at two in the morning.  Jason was 23 when we got married and was just about to finish his bachelor’s degree. Since two of his degrees only took two years, he added business management and had a bachelor’s degree in Business Management. The year that we got married was his last. So when June came, he would be returning, and I was expected to go with him.