Defending Deanna

Chapter 18

Ryker

That evening, I pull Deanna into my arms beside my car and press my lips to hers. I haven't wanted to take my lips off hers all day, but this will be the last kiss we can share for a while.

She doesn't even hesitate to open her mouth to me anymore. She melts into me as I deepen the kiss and it makes me feel amazing to see how comfortable she is with my lips on hers and in my arms. It makes me feel like a king. She trusts me in this way that she has never trusted anyone before, and I love that.

We are meeting Maddox at a bar. I know I have to pretend that I don't know how incredible it feels to kiss her, but I hate pretending. I also hate lying to my best friend, but Maddox would never understand why I started this with her.

I’m pretty sure her brother doesn't know how much she is still struggling. She put up such a good show I don't think anyone realizes how much she still wrestles with her past.

I won't be the one to out her if I can help it. It is her secret to keep or tell, and I won't blow it for her. But that means I can't explain to Maddox why I started kissing her and that means we have to keep things quiet but that will be hard since all I want to do is kiss her all the time.

I pull back and she looks dazed and turned on, and I wish I could take her back home and take her to bed. I am looking forward to going to sleep tonight after many kisses and with her in my arms.

"Ryker, someone could see us."

I smile in spite of myself. She is right. It was a risky move, but I couldn't resist for a second longer and it will probably be a couple hours before I can kiss her again. "Should I not have kissed you?"

"You should kiss me anytime you want. But I don't want to have to explain this to my very overprotective brother."

I agree wholeheartedly. "I know, but it's going to be very hard to keep my lips off you tonight."

She blushes but smiles. "Tonight, when we get home my lips are all yours."

My d**k stirs in my jeans. She didn't mean it the way it sounded. She is a bit too innocent to understand the images that came to mind with an offer like that. I love kissing her but there are a lot of other things I would love her lips for.

An image of her on her hands and knees tight ass in the air as she deep throats me pops into my head, but I know that is probably an impossible fantasy. I will never ask her for that. I will never push her to do anything she isn't ready for.

I hope to get my lips and tongue on her pretty soon, but I know I am going to have a lot of cold showers and dates with my hand in my future, but I don't mind. Anything to help her find her desire for life.

"I can't wait until tonight when I get to fall asleep with you in my arms.”

She smiles and it makes my chest swell. "I can't wait for that either."

I don't want to be here tonight. I want to be back at her place in bed with her. But we agreed to meet days ago, before I started kissing Deanna and before I couldn't get the idea of making her happy out of my head.

As we walk, a part of me wants to reach out and grab her hand and hold it but I don't know if she would be receptive to that. We are having fun, but we aren't supposed to be dating or in a relationship, but this feels so much more than any relationship I’ve ever had, and I want to give her it all.

I hate that I have to hide her like this, but I know unless I plan to be her forever, I can't tell Maddox about us. I wish that forever was an option, but she deserves so much better than I can offer her. I also know eventually she will remember how much she hates me for leaving her the night she was taken.

Forever, isn't possible but I will soak up every minute with her. I will enjoy all I can because I don't know how I will survive walking away from her. It almost killed me when we were young, and she didn’t want me around and I had to walk away to not upset her anymore. Back then I only had a crush, this time I’ve gotten to hold and kiss her…how am I supposed to walk away again and survive it? I’ll have to figure it out though, because I care enough about her to respect her needs.

Movement catches my eye, and I notice she's fidgeting with her hands. It's a nervous habit and I reach out without thinking and grab her hand. "Are you ok?"

She sighs. "Yeah, I'm just nervous. I don't like lying. I always feel bad lying to him."

"I get that, I don't like lying to him either. Don't think of it as lying. We’re just not telling him something that will be hard for him to understand."

"I'm not sure he would understand why I'm lying to him though."

I could see how torn she is, and I hate putting her in this position. "Honestly I don't think it's any of his business you are a grown woman, but I won't stop you from telling him if you want to."

I really hope she doesn’t tell her brother. If Maddox finds out, it will ruin everything, and we are just getting started. I’m not ready to let her go just yet.

She takes a deep breath. "You're right, it’s none of his business who I'm kissing."

I sigh and smile. "How many people are you kissing?"

She laughs. "Oh, tons of guys. I kiss guys all over town."

I laugh now. I love how quick she is. I always loved joking with her and how rarely she was serious. It doesn’t happen as often now after her rescue but every time I catch a glimpse of that sweet girl who made me happier than anyone else ever had, it is thrilling, and I live for these moments.

"Wow, I didn't realize I had so much competition. Maybe I need to step up my game.” I pull her into my arms again and kiss her breathless.

Once I pull back, she smiles. "Well, none of them get to sleep in my bed with me...that's reserved for one special guy.”

I smile. I love how she blushes just talking about sharing a bed with me. It is so cute and endearing. "Oh, good then I don't feel so threatened anymore."

She laughs and it calms me. I wanted to help her relax and it feels good that it worked. I dread the day when I stop bringing her peace and instead, she starts avoiding me again. It will kill me when she starts looking at me with hate and distrust again. I will save every sweet happy moment I get with her, for when I don’t have it anymore. Every laugh or smile she gives me feels like sunshine shining down from the heavens. I will never forget how thrilling it is to make her happy.

I don’t want to be here. I want to take her home and to bed. I don’t want to have to pretend to the world that I’m not involved with her. It’s so much easier at her apartment where I can kiss her and touch her when I want.

As we step into the bar, I stuff my hands into my pockets. This is going to be a long night.

I spot my best friend and boss across the room, and he smiles as we approach.

Maddox pulls his sister into his arms for a hug.

"It's good to see you baby sis."

She smiles up at her brother. "You too."

Maddox looks to me. "Hey dude, I have a surprise for you.”

Something in his face sets me on edge. I have no idea why, but something feels off. Something tells me that I’m not going to enjoy this surprise. I know Maddox too well.

"De, go get us a table and I'll join you in a sec." Maddox tells his sister.

I’m a bit annoyed with how he dismisses his sister. Why does she have to go to the table alone? What is the surprise that she can’t know about it? Also why did he say he would join her and not we would?

She hesitates and I want to reach out to her, but I know I can't. Finally, she walks off. My eyes follow her as she heads over to a booth.

My attention is pulled away from her as my friend starts talking.

"I can never repay you for taking care of Deanna like this. You stepped up in a big way, and I appreciate it more than you know."

If only my friend knew just how much I am taking care of her. He would skin me alive if he ever found out.

"Its fine dude don't worry about it.”

I will never be able to repay Maddox for this time with Deanna. I missed that sweet funny beautiful girl that I had fallen for when I was still a kid. A part of me feared she wasn’t in there anymore after all she’d been through but the more time I spend with her the more I see that girl I thought was lost and it is so thrilling and exciting.

Maddox smiles. "Like a said I could never repay you, but I figured I could try. It can be pretty boring to be on constant watch like that, so I had an idea. My girl has this friend who is looking for some fun, so I had her meet us here."

My heart sinks. He brought a girl for me. Crap, what will Deanna think if I go to be with some other girl? I mean I’m not going to do anything with anyone but if I don’t go along with it Maddox will be suspicious.

"That's OK, I wouldn't want to slack on the job."

Maddox laughs. "I'm your boss, I'm giving you permission. I've got De tonight. You go have fun. She's at the bar and very eager to meet you. It's the least I can do for you helping me with my sister."

I don't know what to do. I don’t want to go meet this woman at all. I am trying to help Deanna and that means I have to have her trust, being with someone else could ruin that. Honestly, I have no desire to be with anyone else. I am so caught up with Deanna. She is all I can think about.

I just don’t know how to get out of it without my friend being suspicious. How can I explain having no interest in an eager and willing woman?

"Right, ok I guess you've got De tonight then."

I reluctantly head to the bar and avoid Deanna’s eyes. I think I can feel her eyes on me, but I don't want to face her.

I don't have a choice but to meet this woman but there is only one woman I am going home with tonight and she is the girl I’ve compared every girl I’ve dated since I was a kid to. And nobody else even came close to her in my head.