Irredeemable (Harry Potter fanfiction)

5 - Wandering Weasel

The next day he watched Weasley and Granger carefully, but couldn't see anything different from the previous day; maybe it had been coincidence? It wasn't until Transfiguration that afternoon that something seemed off. There was a look between Brown and Weasley that set alarm bells ringing for Draco. It was completely unnoticed by Granger, but Potter certainly noticed, as he elbowed Weasley hard and nodded to the front of the class. In Draco's mind this confirmed it, something was going on, and Potter was in on it.

Now the dilemma was what should he do? He could carry on like he was, act like he hadn't noticed anything, say nothing to Granger and let them make a fool of her. Or he could tell Granger and risk her disbelieving him, or hating him.

He pondered this for the next couple of hours and throughout dinner, still unsure of his plan of action. He still didn't know what to do when Granger came and sat near him in the library. After the usual pleasantries, he plucked up the courage to say something.

"Is everything OK? With you and Weasley I mean." He was careful to keep his voice casual, eyes on his work.

"Why do you ask?" she replied, equally casual.

"I just noticed that you two seem a bit… off in class." He said, testing the waters.

"Oh god, is it that obvious?" she said, laying down her quill with a sigh.

"Sorry," he said, "I don't mean to pry…"

"No, it's fine." She said. "Do you really want to hear about it?"

"I'm happy to listen if you need to talk." He inwardly cringed at how trite he sounded; but hey, it worked!

"Not here," she said, "let's go for a walk." They both packed away their books, and stood to leave. This was going better than Draco had hoped; maybe he wouldn't have to say anything, he could just steer her towards the transfiguration department and she might find out for herself.

"So," she began, as they were walking away from the library. "We fell out over new year. I was staying in Ginny's room, and Harry was in with Ron. Ginny and Harry wanted to be together, so Ron and her swapped."

Draco had a feeling he knew what had happened.

"So, new year's eve, we had all had a bit to drink, went to our rooms. Ron wanted to…"

She blushed a little, not knowing quite how to say it.

"O.k." said Draco, "I get the picture."

"Well, I refused, and he got really pushy and angry, and we just haven't been right since. He thinks I am just being stubborn, or punishing him for stupid reasons."

Draco wasn't sure what to say at this point. "Ok." He said.

"You haven't asked me the obvious question." She said with a slight smile, after he remained silent. "Why won't I sleep with him?"

"That is a very personal question, and I wouldn't ask…." Draco began, wondering quite how they had gotten here in the conversation.

"I can't bear anyone on top of me." She continued, ignoring his previous comment. His mind immediately jumped to ways around that problem, before he forced it back to the matter in hand. He didn't need to ask why she had this issue; it would be down to his aunt.

"Have you told Weasley this?" he asked, wondering why Weasley couldn't work a way around this when it seemed obvious to him.

"No," replied Hermione. "I haven't." She frowned pensively.

"Why not?" he asked, genuinely interested; they had been friends forever, surely she could talk to him about it!

"I don't want him to think… that I'm broken in some way. He and Harry went through the same as me, Harry had worse, and they are not damaged by it. I can't bear for him to see me as weak, and the harder he pushes the less I want to tell him." She sighed, rolling her eyes.

"He shouldn't think that." Said Draco, actually feeling rather annoyed that she could see herself that way; she wasn't damaged, she was strong. She had dealt with so much, and was still good and kind and lovely. She just huffed, and he realised something;

"Why would you tell me this and not him?" He was perplexed.

"I don't really know," she replied. "I guess because you're broken too."

She said it quite matter-of-factly, but still, "ouch" thought Draco. His expression must have changed, as she immediately said, "Sorry, I'm not trying to be cruel, I just mean that I think you will understand."

"I do understand," he said, "I just didn't think it was that obvious, that's all." This really wasn't going the way he had planned, but they had walked towards the transfiguration department automatically, so at least something was going right.

"It's obvious that you have changed. After all, who hasn't after the past year? But I didn't know how much until I found you in charms class that night. I don't think many others will have seen it, if that's what you are worried about."

"It's not like it matters." He replied, "I just want to do as well as I can and get out of here with decent N.E.W.T. results"

Hermione smiled, "I guessed that, you are in the library as much as me!"

"Yeah well." He said, rolling his eyes, but he was secretly pleased that she had noticed his presence. After a pause he continued, "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I do know it can't just go on like this, though."

"Well, as far as I can see, you have three options: You don't tell him, and go through with it. Second, you tell him, and work a way around it. Third, you call the whole thing off."

She was silent for a moment, "I have to tell him don't I?" she asked. "It's the only thing that makes sense"

"Yes." Said Draco, wishing that she had said she was going to ditch Weasley for being an insensitive arse. They were in the Transfiguration corridor now, and Malfoy was listening avidly for any signs of other students; was Weasley here again tonight?

"How about you?" Said Hermione. "How are you getting on with your mum now?"

"Better," he responded. "She actually came to see me off, and we had a bit of a talk about things." About you, he amended in his head.

"That's good," she said, and without any prompting from Draco, she nodded at the door of the Transfiguration classroom, and pushed open the door. There was a frantic shuffling inside and a girl's gasp.

"Sorry…" Hermione began, then lapsed into open mouthed silence as she saw who it was. Draco looked around her into the room and saw what he had been both hoping for and dreading in equal measure.

Weasley stood there with his shirt off, whilst behind him Lavender Brown clutched a t-shirt to cover her naked chest.

Hermione was the first to speak; "Ron! What are you doing…? How could you…?"

"Hermione, I…" Ron began, then caught sight of Draco behind her. His expression darkened, and he bit out "What are you doing here? And with him?"

Hermione paused, seemingly in disbelief. "What am I doing with him?! What are you doing in here with her?!" Her voice had risen several octaves and Draco winced.

Weasley looked rather shamefaced for a second, then his jaw hardened. "What do you expect? You have been stringing me along for the past two years! Can you blame me for finding someone else?"

"Stringing you along?" Hermione seemed bewildered. "I have never strung you along! Ron, I loved you…" she broke off with a small sob.

"You would let me get to a certain point, then push me away! I don't know what you think 'love' is, but leaving me constantly frustrated is not it!" His face held a sort of pompous righteousness and Draco could see that he genuinely thought himself justified in this betrayal of trust.

"So because I didn't have s*x with you I should have expected you to get it elsewhere?" Hermione's face had become hard as stone, and Draco was pleased she was holding herself together. In fact, he was surprised she hadn't gone for her wand and turned them both into slugs, although maybe that would come once the shock had worn off.

"You shallow, selfish, cowardly scumbag!" she cried, but Weasley cut her off.

"Yeah, I'm all those things, but you're a frigid, stuck up cow. You think you're so much cleverer than everyone else, you obviously don't know as much as you think!" With that he tugged his shirt over his head and stormed to the door, nearly knocking Hermione to the ground as he kicked the door wide to get out. This left Lavender Brown sitting in a state of undress in the centre of the room, goggling at them in shock.

Hermione turned blindly from the door and began in the opposite direction. She was breathing hard and Draco was worried that she was actually having a panic attack.

"Come on Granger," he said, taking her shoulders and guiding her into a classroom. "In here." He shut the door then turned to face her. Tears were streaming down her face, but she didn't seem inclined to say anything.

"Sorry Granger" he said, more the fill the silence than anything; he wasn't sorry, he was glad that it was the end to Granger and Weasley, she was far too good for that loser. Too good for him as well, but he would think about that later!

"It's ok, you didn't do anything!" she replied snappishly, and he knew she wasn't completely distraught.

"Sorry Draco," she said after a moment, "I know you mean well."

"For what it's worth Granger, he is an i***t, and he doesn't deserve you. Be glad you found this out now, and not after you had done something you would regret."

"I know," she replied. "I do know, really. I just can't believe that he would do this to me, we have known each other so long, and been through so much s**t!" She brushed the tears from her cheeks, and took a deep breath. "But, if I'm being honest, it was inevitable really. Not the cheating, but the break-up. The spark was gone, I didn't find being with him challenging or inspiring, it was just easy, and familiar. You were right with what you said before, about the s*x issue. We could have found a way around it, but neither one of us was making any effort to be romantic and intimate, so it was never resolved."

Draco listened, pleased that the relationship hadn't been some magical romance that she was unrealistic about. Hopefully that would make it easier for her to get over. 'Then what?' asked his subconscious in a mocking voice, 'she will want something with you? The mudblood wouldn't stoop to a Malfoy!'

"I just don't want to deal with the fallout." She continued. " I mean, I have to go back to the dorm and see Lavender, and know they are all gossiping about me." She blotted another tear. "And what he said was true, I do act like I'm cleverer than everyone else, and they all hate me for it!" She was getting upset again, but Draco was unsure what to do; he didn't have much experience comforting others.

"Come on Granger," he said, patting her shoulder awkwardly. "Everyone doesn't hate you." He thought for a second, and then amended, "well, I don't hate you, potter doesn't hate you."

She gave a strangled chuckle and turned her face into his chest. The natural thing for him to do was hug her, although it felt distinctly awkward to Draco, almost like he was taking advantage of her vulnerability. She had a bit of a weep, then quietened, but didn't seem inclined to push him away, so they just stood for a time, him breathing in the scent of her hair and giving her back the occasional stroke. He was enjoying her distress far too much, but it was nice for him to have the feeling of giving and receiving comfort for no other reason than he wanted to. No hidden agenda, well, almost no hidden agenda. An agenda you will not act on! He told himself forcefully.

Finally, Hermione gave his waist a squeeze, then disengaged herself from him. She looked a little red-eyed, but it wasn't too obvious she had been crying.

"Shall we go back to the library?" she asked, attempting a normal tone, "we could still get in half an hours study in. I must admit I'm in no hurry to get back to the common room!"

"Sure." He said, and they retraced their steps back the way they had come. "I thought about what you said over the holidays," he said, aiming to distract her, "how talking about my time as a death eater would help me. You were right, I hadn't talked about it to anyone. I felt like I deserved to brood on it, to experience the dreams and anxiety as a form of purgatory. But now I'm starting to wonder if I should keep punishing myself, and allowing others to punish me for it."

"I'm glad Draco, you should get over it. It shouldn't ruin your life." She said, with a watery smile.

"I guess what I am saying, in a roundabout way, is that you are not a stuck up cow." He continued.

She gave him a perplexed look, but didn't say anything. "I mean," he said, determined now to make her laugh, "that's what I thought too originally. You are super smart, pretty, you would have to be rather stuck up, right? But now I have gotten to know you better, you're really not!"

"Thanks Draco!" she snapped. " You really know how to cheer a girl up!" He knew she was being sarcastic, but there was the hint of a smile hidden beneath her words.

"Seriously though Granger, I do appreciate you helping me, both with muggle studies and psychiatry."

"You are very welcome." She said this time with a real smile. "Now stop trying to cheer me up before you really offend me!"

The next morning came and went, and Draco watched the spread of gossip spread along the house tables until it reached his own. Pansy Parkinson was the closest to him and he heard her malicious glee at the news that Weasley had cheated on Granger. "Hardly surprising that she is frigid," she sniggered, "she is so uptight and snobbish you would need a descendo charm just to get her knickers down!"

He got up at this point, not wanting to hear any more, the vitriol of Pansy was fuelled by long standing jealousy, originally of Grangers brains, but now it was due to the male attention that she got. Even though she herself didn't seem to notice it. He was looking forward to the library that evening, when he could see how Granger was holding up. She was behaving as normally as possible during lessons, but the stares and whispers must have been getting to her, particularly as Weasley and Brown were hardly being discreet about their new relationship status.

He was just heading back to the dorm to collect a book after lunch, when he walked in on Pansy and her current beau, Harper engaged in a little "afternoon delight", presumably during a free period. Harper swore and made to cover up, but Pansy stopped him. "Don't mind Draco," she said, "he has lost the whip in his wand, he won't tell anyone."

"Pansy, you wound me!" he replied sardonically, his anger at her derision of Granger still in his mind. "There was a time when you couldn't get enough of my wand!"

Pansy had clearly not been expecting any sort of come back, "well," she said stiffly, "seems I have traded up!"

"Doubtful," said Draco with a sneer, and turned to leave.

"What did you say!?" said Harper, deciding he would get involved, got off Pansy and struggled to his feet. "Who do you think you are?" Harper went for his wand, but Draco was far too quick for him.

"Petrificus Totalis!" and Harper fell heavily to the ground. Draco went and turned him over with his foot so he could see his face. "You have to be quicker than that," he told him. "You forget, I am ex-death eater scum, Voldemort taught us well!" He gave a savage grin, then left the room, sure to put on the old Malfoy swagger.

Once he was outside the dungeon he felt like a bit of an i***t; he shouldn't let himself get provoked, and certainly shouldn't use Voldemort's name to intimidate these losers, but it seemed that a display of strength was all that they would respond to! Pushing it aside, he carried on to his afternoon lessons, impatient for the end of the day.

During dinner, he kept an eye on the Gryffindor table where Hermione was sitting with Potter and Ginny, whilst a little further down the table Weasley was glued to Brown. Hermione seemed to be taking no notice, but Draco knew it must have stung to witness it.

He finished eating and hurried to the library, unpacking his books on his and Hermione's usual table. He had opened up his potion book when;

"So this is where you have been hiding."

Draco looked up to see Pansy Parkinson standing over him.

"What do you want Pansy?" he asked with a scowl. If she thought she was going to threaten him or berate him for earlier then she was mistaken.

"Don't be like that," she said, with a pout. "I just thought we could talk."

"We don't talk." He replied curtly.

"Well fine," she said. "I just wanted to say, after what happened today, that maybe I was wrong, and the real Draco is still in there. So if you wanted to study some time then we could."

Draco knew what she was proposing, but was finding it hard to believe. "What about Harper?"

"Well, he wouldn't have to know would he?" She said, attempting to sound sultry and alluring, but Draco just though she sounded ridiculous.

"So basically what you're saying is that you will sleep with me but we need to keep it a secret, presumably so you can save face because everyone else hates me?"

"Well yes." She said sheepishly, but quickly gained her composure. "Come on Draco, it must have been a while for you, and we were always good together." She subtly thrust out her chest, and Draco wanted to laugh at how blatant she was being.

His gaze strayed past her, as just that moment Hermione had appeared round the end of the bookshelf to join him, but seeing who he was with, she quickly ducked out of sight.

"So, what do you say?" said Pansy coquettishly, drawing his attention back to her.

"Go away Pansy," he said, suddenly incensed. "I want nothing to do with you. Go back to Harper and leave me alone."

"Fine!" she said, offended. "I was just trying to be nice!" She got up and flounced away, passing the shelves where he was hoping Granger still lurked.

He sat for a couple of minutes, trying to decide if he should go and look for her, but was saved the effort as she looked out from the corner again.

"Granger!" he called, albeit quietly (they were in the library after all!) "I'm glad you came back."

"Oh," she said, flushing slightly, "I didn't realise you had seen me before. I didn't want to interrupt." She seemed a little off, and Draco had the thrilling impression that she was a little jealous.

"Don't worry," he said, "you would not have been interrupting!"

"Good." She said, although he could see she wanted to ask what he and Pansy had talked about.

"How has your day been?" he asked her, as she began to pull out some books.

"s**t as expected," she replied, surprising him with her language; Granger did not usually swear.

"I thought as much," he replied. "What did Potter have to say about it?"

"Not a lot, it was obvious he suspected something was going on before I did though, which hurt a little, but I guess it was a hard thing for him to bring up. Rather amusingly, he seemed more concerned with what I was doing in the corridor with you that night!" she rolled her eyes.

"And what did you tell him?" Asked Draco, genuinely curious about what she had said.

"That we had been studying together, and were walking back from the library. I didn't really feel it was any of his business."

Draco wasn't sure if he was offended by this or not. She obviously hadn't told Potter about their friendship (if that's what this was) nor that they saw each other over Christmas. Was this because Potter wouldn't approve, or was she ashamed about associating with him?

"Right." He said, a little put out. "Well my day was interesting. I had a run in with pansy and her boyfriend, so when she came to find me this evening I thought it was going to be another row. Instead, she propositions me, provided we keep it a secret." He wanted to see Hermione's reaction to this, either to detect any jealousy (which he was rather hoping for) or any shame for doing the same thing (not the propositioning, just the keeping him a secret).

"Really?" she asked, wide eyed. "That's what she was doing here a minute ago?"

"Yep. She would be happy to sleep with me provided that I didn't tell anyone about it. Generous of her, hey?"

"Well, what did you say?" Hermione asked, hesitantly, like she wasn't sure she really wanted an answer. Draco's heart leapt, it was obvious Granger wouldn't like it one little bit if he started something up with Pansy!

"I told her to leave me alone. I didn't really care for her much before last year and now the idea of touching her, let alone being her dirty little secret, is repellent!"

"Good for you!" she said, with a cryptic little smile. "Have you started the Herbology Essay?"

"Not yet," he replied, and they fell to working in silence. What a weird day, Draco mused. Firstly, the thing with Pansy; she obviously found people who were unpleasant to her attractive, as she had no interest in him until he acted like a bastard. He couldn't believe he had once found her attractive; she seemed so brazen and, to be honest, slutty. Obviously he used to find that appealing, but he certainly didn't now. He glanced over at Hermione's glossy curls, her head bent over her work; this was a confusing one too. She obviously didn't like the idea of him and Pansy, but was it because she was interested in him herself? Or did she just dislike Pansy in general?

He realised that he needed to make a decision; was he going to pursue Granger or not? That's what it came down to. He glanced over at her again, just catching her looking away from him. He looked down at his book, hardly able to stifle his grin. Oh yeah, he was going to pursue Granger, and he was starting to get the feeling he might be successful.