Losing The Light Of The Moon

Dreams Of Connection

Chapter 23: Dreams Of Connection

TATIANA

Standing in front of my window, I found myself lost—captivated by the beauty of the bright moon above me, set so splendidly within the clouds that looked black in the night sky with just a hint of illumination outlining the billowy edges—light that emanated from the surface of the moon. 

“Can I ask you something?” Horacio quietly questioned from behind me.

“Of course,” I kindly replied, continuing to longingly gaze out the window.

There was a long pause before Horacio brokenly asked in the softest, most earnest tone I have ever heard from him, “You and I—we’ve spent a lot of time together—time that I cherish more than you will ever know—and I don’t know if this is just me wishing or hoping that—there have been times when we are together—when I felt like you—” His words stopped as another long pause passed between us, “Tati, I’ve already told you how much I care for you.  I have for a long time. Is there any chance you are feeling the same towards me now?”

Slowly turning to face him, I dumbfoundedly mumbled, “W-What?”

His expression fell as Horacio’s jaw tightened before he harshly replied, “I’m an i***t. It was me wishing and hoping, wasn’t it?”

Slowly shaking my head side to side, I inaudibly whispered out, “No, it isn’t just you wishing and hoping, Horacio. I have developed feelings for you, but—”

His bright blue-grey eyes full of anticipation, Horacio resolutely interrupted, “No—No buts, Tati.”

“Horacio,” I softly pleaded, “I need to be truthful with you now—”

Holding his hands up, Horacio steadfastly interrupted, “You know me, Tati. I always do things my way, so no matter what argument you give me—and I already know a lot of them—I don’t care. The age difference—very slight age difference, by the way—your desire to remain here at Crescent Moon, the fact that both of us could be given second chance mates. I don’t care. I only care about you! Whatever the compromise, I’ll do anything if I have you in the end. And I’ll tell you right now what I’ve told the Moon Goddess several times. After what I went through and all this time, I should be allowed to choose who I love—who I want to spend eternity with—and that’s you!”

“Horacio,” I desperately breathed out, tears forming in my eyes.

Walking towards me, Horacio lovingly declared, “I meant what I said, Tati, I respect the connection you had—I want you to remember Julien and love him always. But I also hope if you feel the same way I do, you will give us a chance too. Your heart—Tati, you can love us both! I didn’t know my heart was capable of real love before you and I won’t—I can’t—deny it any longer—I love you, Tati.”

Listen to him, Tati, Julien’s deep voice suddenly rang out, causing my heart to stop, I love you and I want you to be happy.  I’m sorry that we were robbed of our life together.  You deserve to be happy and deeply loved, my darling.

I silently stared deep into Horacio’s blue-grey eyes for a long moment before my lips curled up in a wide grin and a burst of my deep green glittering aura appeared beneath my feet, swiftly lifting me up to wrap my arms around his neck, crashing my lips down upon Horacio’s in a long, hard passionate kiss—

Gasping loudly, I sat straight up in bed—my eyes wide and chest heaving as the dream replayed in my mind.  Frantically looking all around but unable to see anything as my room was filled with the pitch-black darkness of the night, I reached over and turned on the lamp atop my nightstand, still trying to assure myself of my surroundings and that I was indeed alone—alone with thoughts of another who had just been in my room not long ago—another who spoke to me in my head—taken from me long ago—a voice I had longed to hear since the return of my memories—thoughts continuing to swirl in my head of both men who unexpectedly appeared to me just now.  

My heart was pounding in my chest as I got out of bed, grabbing my favorite soft blanket and wrapping it around myself before walking over to the window and pulling the curtain back, peering out into the starry sky—and while the moon was not as full as it was in my dream, I still found myself captivated by its beauty in the sky, but at the same time, I felt so anxious and confused inside...why would I have that dream? And why in my dream did I have such overwhelming feelings in my heart for Horacio?

It was a dream—wasn’t it? It didn’t feel anything like a vision—no, it felt much different, so, it couldn’t have been. My thoughts changed at that instant—replaying the enjoyable evening in Aruna’s kitchen with Jace, Constance, Umar, and—Horacio. 

I smiled thinking of our long conversation about a myriad of subjects after Umar left and the playful back-and-forth banter we shared in the kitchen. The joy I felt inside when his face lit up with the first bite of my lasagna. Something so simple...but it meant so much to me. It was nice—sharing that kind of time with someone again. Is that what brought the dream forth? Or was my heart revealing to me what it feared I would try to deny—was I truly developing feelings for Horacio?

****************

JILLIAN

Standing in front of the tree, I tossed a bean at the base, a bean I had taken from Arturo’s bag—a bean that was my key to another life from a bag that I never expected to find. A large black hole appeared through the thick bark, but my feet wouldn’t move—I hesitated, knowing I didn’t have long to take the step I so desperately wanted...

“It’s time to go, child,” Mrs. Dottie softly urged me, “You deserve a good life, Jillie, not the life you’re trapped in. You and I both know, we never were Blood Horizons deep inside, our hearts aren’t black like the rest of them, but neither of us could find the courage to take that first step. We finally have a chance to escape—to take that step. Let’s take it now, Jillie—together.”

“He won’t want me,” I sadly argued, “He’ll think the Moon Goddess was so unfair to him—choosing me as his mate. I’m so tainted now—I can’t erase the past. Mattias deserves better. Let’s just run away and find a little cottage somewhere safe in the middle of nowhere where no one can find us.”

“No, I won’t let you do that. Give Mattias the chance to decide, Jillie,” Mrs. Dottie lovingly comforted, “If he doesn’t refuse you, I beg you—give yourself a chance at the connection. Don’t refuse him simply because you feel you are undeserving, my sweet girl. You were given no choice. Allow yourself time to heal from all of this before you turn him away.”

My eyes popped open as I fought the urge to jump out of bed, having enough sense about me to know that I would wake Arturo and have to explain the reason for the action. 

I wish I could find Arturo’s bag of magic—it would make things so much easier. I could take Mrs. Dottie and I away from this dreadful place—stop the plans for Mattias’ kidnapping—make a new life...if only I could...

If only I could make myself believe it was true—that I could heal from the deep wounds of guilt and shame I felt inside, that my connection with Mattias could survive my past, that I could wake up with his arms around me instead of the arms around me now...if only...

Pushing the thoughts out of my head, I concentrated on what I could do—what I would do—I would find the bag of magic and the bean from my dream, only I wouldn’t be making my escape—I would be helping Mattias make his...he would be the one taking the step needed for freedom...

**********

JACE

Mother was waiting for me in the kitchen as I arrived for our dawn coffee chat, smiling brightly as she pulled out two mugs and poured our brew...

“That smells wonderful,” I complimented her as she extended a cup towards me, “I think you may have coffee duty from now on. It will give Lorelei some relief in the kitchen.”

“I add a little caramel and vanilla spice to it,” Mother beamed, taking a sip, “Aruna has enjoyed it as well.”

“She has enjoyed more than the coffee,” I kindly informed her, “Luna has enjoyed having you living in her wing. It’s been good—for both of you, I think. Helps Nicholas and I not worry so much about you both being alone. Although that is not a concern currently, there are several guests to keep you both content.”

“Mmmmm,” Mother distractedly hummed out as she took another sip, “It has been nice—and Aruna loves hosting guests. She has quite the breakfast planned this morning.”

“Well, I may have to stop by then,” I slowly replied, noticing Mother’s expression continued to look absorbed in her thoughts, gingerly asking her, “It’s incredibly chilly outside this morning. As you get cold quite easily, why don’t we stay here and sit at the table by the window?”

Looking down at her cup, she paused for a long moment before quietly stating, “If you don’t mind, there is somewhere I think I would like to go this morning...and I don’t want to go alone.”   Setting her coffee on the counter, her eyes looked distraught as Mother uncomfortably asked, “Will you take me to see your father?”

Swallowing hard, I set my cup down beside hers, reaching out to gently take her hand in mine, lovingly breathing out, “Of course I will, if that’s what you want.”

Mother took in a sharp breath, anxiously exhaling it out, “I do. I heard his voice last night in my dream. It was so clear, Jace, like he was right beside me. I need to see him...I need to finally go visit Julien.”

**********

Bundled in a beautiful light pink wool coat and multicolored scarf, Mother kneeled directly in front of Father’s grave, her eyes filled with tears as she slowly reached out to lightly trace his name with her fingers, breathlessly calling out, “Hello, my love.”

Crouching down beside her, I quietly admitted, “It’s been a while, Father. Too long if I’m truthful. A lot has happened since our last visit.”

“You look exactly like him, Jace,” Mother thoughtfully said, “Both of you so very handsome and those red and blonde beards of yours, though his was much longer.” Letting out a light laugh, she continued, “When you were younger, you both had a head full of red hair, always mussed and awry, going every which way on top of your heads—Julien always said like both of you, your hair had minds of their own.”

“I’m afraid that got worse after the fire, too coarse to even pull a brush through it,” I solemnly told her, “That’s why I shave it off now.”

Silently nodding, Mother brought her fingers up to her lips, placing a soft kiss on them before reaching out to press her hand against the tombstone as she reverently whispered, “You sacrificed everything that day to save our Jace, Julien. Although our love was a gift that I will be eternally grateful for, that, my love—that was your greatest gift to me. You and I have always felt that way, though, haven’t we? From the day he was born, Jace has been our greatest gift.”  

Her soft adoring gaze immediately turning towards me, Mother leaned forward, cupping my left cheek in her hand as she placed a tender kiss on my forehead before warmly stating, “You will always be the greatest gift, Jace—the most beautiful reflection of the love your father and I shared!”

My jaw locked as Mother’s heartfelt declaration echoed all the way down to my soul. I was instantly overcome by the deep love and adoration I felt for both of my parents, but also sad that their love and connection with one another had been taken so viciously.

Clearing my throat, I hesitantly asked, “Can I ask about your dream? What did Father say to you?”

Staring at my father’s name on the stone, tears slowly rolled down Mother’s cheeks as she brokenly admitted, “I’m still trying to figure out many aspects of the dream itself, but towards the end, your father said that he was sorry we were robbed of our life together...and that he wanted me to be happy and deeply loved.”  

I felt my throat tighten, swallowing hard again before I devotedly told her, “I like to think he had a hand in bringing you home to Crescent Moon—to be happy and deeply loved by all of us, in particular your son, who loves and adores you to the moon and back, Mother, forever and always.”

Mother affectionately smiled, turning back towards me, “And I love and adore you, Jace, to the moon and back, forever and always. I have from the moment I held you in my arms and I always will, my darling!”

I saw her shiver slightly, leading me to stand up and extend my hand out, gently urging, “Why don’t we go back to the house? Warm up with another cup of your special brew? I’ll bring you back for another visit soon if you would like.”

“I would like that. I am a bit chilly,” Mother softly replied, placing her small hand in mine as I helped her back up to her feet.   Before we left, she turned back towards Father’s grave, softly murmuring, “You are forever in my heart, Julien. I love you...always.”

***************

HORACIO

As I stood in front of the mirror running my fingers through my wet black hair, I noticed two things: My hair and beard were getting more grey than I would like to admit, but even more, there was a rare sighting reflecting back at me—a smile on my face. Thinking back on the previous evening, my grin widened as I thought about the time I spent with Tatiana. Even my wolf was happy—happier than it had been in a long time. While I enjoyed our time in the kitchen—even when we were surprised by Umar, Jace, and Constance's interruption—it was our long talk into the early morning after Umar left that I enjoyed the most...

Walking out of the bathroom, I was pulling on my favorite red nylon shorts when I heard the knock on my door, surprised and delighted when I opened it to find the source of my unusual, good mood on the other side. Even wearing a simple long flowing dark purple cowl neck shirt with her favored thumb holes to keep her hands warm and black leggings with flats, Tatiana looked stunning.

Throwing the towel over my bare shoulder, I happily greeted, “Well, good morning, Fairy Queen! Nice to see you so early! I thought you would still be with Jace.”

Tati seemed to hesitate slightly, her eyes slowly moving up and down my towering frame, before warmly replying, “Good morning, Horacio. I’m sorry if I’ve come by too early.”

Moving to the side, I motioned her inside, “Not at all, I’m always up early and you are welcome anytime. I just finished cleaning up a little.”  Shutting the door behind her, I walked past Tati towards the bed, grabbing my black t-shirt as I asked, “Did you enjoy your coffee and chat?”

“I always enjoy spending time with Jace,” Tatiana quietly stated, her downhearted tone instantly concerning me as I turned around to face her, putting my t-shirt on, her gaze contemplative as it locked with mine, “But I think my unexpected request may have caught him by surprise this morning—I asked him to take me to see Julien. I have been reluctant to go see him, but in the end, I think it was good that I went—and that I had Jace go with me.”  

I knew how difficult it was for Tati to take that step and found myself grateful that Jace was with her as well. All the other thoughts left my mind—only concern for her, as I immediately comforted her, “I’m glad you decided to see Julien and had Jace go with you. Are you alright?”

“I am, I think,” she reluctantly returned, looking a bit uncomfortable, “Still figuring things out in my head, I suppose.”

Walking towards her, I gently said, “You should always remember Julien and the love you shared, Tati. He’s part of your heart and soul, which means he is still with you—always.”

Tatiana stared at me for a long moment before she appreciatively returned, “Thank you, Horacio.”

I was relieved when her warm smile returned, as well as her perky tone, informing me, “I should probably tell you why I’m here. I have a surprise for you and Umar this morning.”

My eyebrows arched up, my reply reflecting my good humor as I replied, “A surprise? Please tell me its food! Seriously, I think I’m quickly becoming addicted to your cooking now!”

Her fit of giggles instantly had me chuckling, “No, it’s not food, but I do appreciate the compliment! This surprise has more to do with...connections.”