The Love You Want

noun obsession (noun) · obsessions (plural noun) the state of being obsessed with someone or something: "she cared for him with a devotion bordering on obsession" _______________________________________________________________________________________________ Atticus’ POV Sunlight was slowly snuffed out, as the darkness of night crept in. The red lights illuminated the room, shining over her hair and skin- causing the most enamoring glitter from it as her sweat beaded down. My eyes closed as I leaned my head back, my lips twisting up in an eerie grin. I couldn’t believe it. She was finally here. She was finally safe and sound. Here with me. Oh, how long did I torture myself, waiting, watching as she lived her life- so unaware of my presence, always staying just out of sight. No matter how intense my need for her was. My heart longed to hold her, to touch her, to be graced with her beauty at every waking moment of the day. But now. Now there was no need to dream, no need to wait and plan until the moment was right to snatch her off the streets. She was here, and she was mine. Mine. BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! My alarm clock screamed, waking me from the most lovely dream. “Fuck..” I grumbled - that inner anger that littered my soul riling up as I woke to another blasted day without my one and only. With a hard bash to the top buttons, the alarm shut up with a slowed sound. As I lay back, resting my head on my pillow- I shut my eyes. Swallowing hard as I still could picture her beautiful form, chained to the end of my bed with that beautiful black and gold collar hugging her soft neck - so pretty, so helpless to me. One day, Atticus. One day. Be patient. As I rose from my bed, I stretched my stiffness out while making my way to the mirror. The mirror I always looked at with a smirk, knowing I meticulously placed it there as it gave the best view from the bed. I dreamed of the day I’d finally be able to take her, show her she was mine, while those gorgeous coffee-colored eyes looked into it, watching her writhe beneath me. I stood in front of it, coughing softly as I adjusted my hardening member. I swear the things this woman can do to me. As I moved around my room, pulling on my shirt- then my jeans. I reminisced on the day I first saw her. The day I first laid eyes on her and could’ve devoured her right then and there. She was illuminating as if the gods themselves had created her and cast a bright light permanently above her in an attempt to show off their creation to everyone and anyone. Her dark hair showed beautifully in the light, the blue and purple tones in her hair made her even more eye-catching. I remember the way my face blushed brightly as I watched her interact with the customer ahead of me. If it hadn’t been for my extreme need to get out of the house after starting my new routine of working from home, I would’ve never decided to stop for coffee at the little cafe that sat quietly at the end of my street. I passed it constantly on my way to and from the gym but never gave it a second thought. Guess I should’ve come in here sooner. I remember so clearly the way she laughed at the customer’s dumb joke, which I’m guessing was a regular of hers. The way her eyes lit up as her lips curled into the most inviting smile was captivating in every way. A sigh left me as I stopped at my desk, leaning against it- pressing the palms of my hands into the dark wood. The way she smiled at me as I moved up in line, greeting me so sweetly, “Hi, love!~” She happily sang, “What can I get for you today?” Her head tilted slightly as I felt her gaze pierce through me. It was ridiculous to feel this way about an absolute stranger, but she made me feel so seen in that moment. That soft giggle of hers filled my head as the sight of her caused me to completely zone out. A flush of pink covered my face as she waited for my order, “Hmmm,” I nervously hummed. Why did she make me so nervous? No one had ever made me feel that way before. “I’ll take a cafe mocha-“ I said flatly, eyeing the menu to avoid staring too hard. “-Can you add an extra shot of espresso to it?” Nodding, she joked, “Good choice, good choice..” She hummed, focused on imputing my order. “That’s gonna be $5.62 today babes.” Looking up from the screen, she outstretched her hand, “Cash or card?” I remember clearly the need that built inside me to take her hand and away from it all, but in a monotone voice I simply replied, “Card.” Again, I watched her so intently as she charged me before spinning around to the espresso machine. I looked over the counter, catching every glimpse of her curves I possibly could despite the limits of the objects blocking my view. She was perfect. I looked at her and now realized why men had fought wars for a beautiful woman. I would gladly murder an army for her if fate decided it. I should’ve asked her out right then and there. I should’ve had the balls to do it, but I just couldn’t get the words out. “Cafe Mocha.~” She practically purred as she handed me my coffee with an oh-so-sweet smile. “See you next time, love.~” And that was the beginning of it all. Sitting down, I turned on my computer and quickly checked my work schedule. Hmmm, off today… I thought to myself, the gears spinning in my head as I knew off days meant I could take my time with her. There wasn’t a need to rush back home to answer mindless emails or customer complaints. I could just spend my time focusing on her. Making my way out of the apartment building, the anticipation rose to see my beautiful Autumn. So much in fact that my heart began beating wildly in my chest, I swore if someone looked at me for far too long you’d be able to see the imprints of it thumping so intensely. The crisp new spring air enveloped me as I made my way down the block, inching closer and closer to her. I felt like a predator, watching its prey from afar, waiting- watching- for that one vulnerable moment. The moment where pouncing would mean no escape. That fresh air only signaled my closeness as it slowly began being filled with scents of pastries and coffee. Making my way into her shop, I could already hear her sweet sing-song voice as she greeted me. I turned, our eyes locking for just a moment- a moment I would have liked to last forever. “Hey! How are you, sweetness?” She smiled brightly. “Long time no see!” With no one in line, the shop was rather dead today I made my way over to the counter. Only a handful of other customers sat quietly in the lobby, a majority of them with their headphones in and eyes glued to their laptop screens. I loved times like this, quiet mornings meant I could have all of her attention for a moment longer. A sly smirk sprawled across my face, “Babe, I was just in here a day ago-” I chuckled, running my fingers through my hair before fixing my fringe. I remembered when I cut my hair this way, I had been stalking her t****k likes and noticed the few videos she would like of men it was always this sort of messy style. Though I enjoyed my longer hair, a change was needed, especially if it were for her. My eyes stayed fixated on her, drinking her in as she looked at me so nonchalantly from across the counter. “Did you miss me that much?” I watched as my lovely Autumn rolled her eyes, scoffing at my response. As the days passed, and my obsession- or infatuation; as I’d like to say- for this girl only seemed to deepen, the more and more comfortable she became with me. Our conversation slowly moved from the typical customer service greetings and order-taking to what they were now- light-hearted jokes and a flirty look here and there. It should’ve been enough for me, but I was greedy. What can I say? “Shut up, Atticus.” She shook her head, rolling her eyes once more, speaking just loud enough for me to hear. “Do you want your usual?” She said, moving over to the register to type in my order. “Hmmm,” I teased, placing a finger to my chin as I squinted up at the menu, browsing it as if I didn’t already know that I was in fact getting my usual. It was just fun to tease her. “I don’t know…” I continued, elongating my words slightly as I looked over the menu one more time before looking back at her. She stood there with the cutest look of annoyance written all over her face. Leaning against the counter, the space between the two of us closed slightly as I smirked, “You know me too well.” I jeered, chuckling as she smashed the buttons while putting in my order. “You’re so cute when you’re angry, you know that?” Autumn scoffed, her cheeks reddened slightly at my sudden compliment. “And you’re stupid.” She playfully retorted, taking my card as I handed it to her. She breathed softly as she passed my card back to me, “But anyways, your stupidity aside, do you want your coffee with creme or foam today?” Shrugging, I moved slightly to the side, out of the way of the ordering area before resting my arms on the countertop. “Surprise me.” I simply replied. She knew me already, I didn’t like my coffee overly sweet and she made it perfectly every time. Honestly, it was part of the reason why I found myself growing so fond of her in the beginning. Before this perversion of her in my mind happened, I always just sat at a table closest to her when I had time and just watched her interact with everyone who came in. She was so lively, to say the least. “What are you up to today?” She suddenly asked over the sound of the espresso machine running, the soft dripping of the coffee following. “Do you have to work today?” Shaking my head despite her being turned around, my eyes looked her up and down, enjoying the view the tight leggings hugging her lower half gave me. “Nah, I’m off today,” I said, yawning slightly. “What about you, pretty girl? What do you have planned after work today?” As she bent down to open the fridge below her, I couldn’t help biting my lip as the view got even better. Even if I knew it was for a practical reason, I’d like to think that was just to entice me. She poured it into the little metal canister, before starting the frother. The loudness of the steamer filled the short silence between the two of us for just a moment before she decided the milk was warm enough. Turning it off, she wiped the nozzle as she shrugged, “I was thinking about either going to the gym or just going home.” She hummed, pumping the syrup into a cup before mixing in the coffee and milk. “I’m pretty tired, I’ve been working back to back all week so I just feel so drained today, ya know?” Instantly, my mind wandered for a moment. Such a shame a lovely work of art like her had to be a slave to capitalism like this. She should be being taken care of, not stuck working like a dog. I wanted to be the one to show her that. Soon, soon. “Well-” I started with a nod, smiling as she turned, making her way over to me with my drink in hand. “If it means anything, skipping a day at the gym isn’t gonna hurt you whatsoever, I think you look fantastic.” Autumn’s eyes shot up to mine, our gazes stayed on one another as if she were trying to figure out if I was joking or not. Shaking her head, she sighed softly. She really didn’t believe me huh? Cocking my head slightly, I grasped my coffee from her hand, ever-so-slightly grazing the backs of her fingers as I did. Instantly just touching her seemed to send a surge of electricity up my arm, leaving my hand feeling tingly. I swear, our connection was otherworldly. “I’m not playing, I swear,” I added in, my tone less playful now to try to back myself up. But just as I opened my mouth to continue peppering her with bits of admiration, the muffled voice of a waiting customer interrupted our moment. I f*****g hate people. Autumn’s hand slipped away from mine as she handed off the drink to me, offering me an apologetic smirk. “Sorry, Atti, we’ll continue this tomorrow. Gotta get back to reality now.” She lightly teased while raising her brows, that playful demeanor of hers returning as she practically skipped back over to the register. I watched for a bit longer, as she took this older couple's order. The older man just buying a simple black coffee, and his wife something with caramel. But of course, most importantly I watched her for a bit longer. Breathing her essence in for a while before having to take my leave. She genuinely was beautiful, it was hard to picture her not believing so. But I hoped to one day shower her with that affection. As I took a sip of my coffee, relishing in the fact that it truly was delicious every single time she touched it. I slowly made my way to the front door, waving a gentle bye to my Autumn as she gave me that bright smile of hers. “Take care, love. I’ll see you soon.” I jested, smirking as she shouted a sweet you too! as I exited. Leaving the building, I couldn’t help but want to punch myself in the head. I had a chance to properly ask her out right there. I go to the gym too, we could’ve had a wholesome gym date together, but of course, I didn’t have the brains to think of anything else but stare at her ass. I needed to get it together. If I were going to bring her home to me, I needed to stop thinking with my d**k. Taking another swig of the latte, I quickly made my way to my apartment building. How was I going to get her alone? Maybe asking her out, getting her somewhere nice and secluded, would be easiest? Fuck, I don't know. As I made my way in, nodding in recognition of the caretaker as he walked passed me, my mind rattled even more. Time for a bit of planning, I guess.