Chapter 1
The church bells echoed across the snow-capped mountains.
I was floating outside the stained-glass window, watching Noah hold Chloe's hand as he walked her slowly up the aisle.
When it came time for the vows, the pastor asked, "Noah, do you take Chloe to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
A smile played at the corner of Noah's mouth. His eyes brimmed with tenderness, his voice thick with devotion. "I do."
And it hit me—I suddenly remembered the way he used to speak to me every time he sent me into the mountains. Cold. Clinical. To the point.
"Elena, this mission has to be completed."
"Elena, you're the only one who can find it."
"Elena, I know it's been hard. I swear this is the last time."
I always told myself he just wasn't good at expressing love. Now I understood. He was perfectly capable of it. Just not with me.
Chloe got snow blindness her first month on the mountain. Noah stayed up all night in her tent. Cold compress after cold compress. The next morning, he didn't even care about the job—just took her straight down the mountain. "Money can be made anytime," he said. "But Chloe's eyes can't go blind."
I stood at the back of the crew, my mind drifting back to my first experience of snow blindness. He'd handed me a pair of sunglasses. "Elena, just push through a little longer. We can't afford to lose anyone on the team." And then, "You're already up here. Don't quit halfway."
That night, I groped around in the dark until I found the ointment and applied it myself. Tears mixed with the salve and ran down my face.
Later, he noticed my swollen eyes. He paused for a second. "Why didn't you tell me your eyes were that bad?"
Tell him how? So could you do for me what you did for her?
You wouldn't have.
Like last winter, when Chloe threw a fit about joining us on a mountain trek. Halfway up, her strength gave out. Her foot slipped. Noah lunged to shield her without a second thought. His own arm slammed into the rocks. Seven stitches. That night at camp, I changed his dressing without a word. He must have picked up on my silence, because he took my hand and said, "Elena, Chloe is not like you. You can take care of yourself. But she needs someone to protect her."
My hand stilled.
Three years ago. Same mountain. I threw myself in front of a falling rock to protect him. I lost my footing, tumbled down the slope. Two cracked ribs. He was in a hurry to get down the mountain and deliver the body, so he left me at camp. Alone. "Elena, I left you food and water. I know you've always been strong. You wouldn't make this hard for me, would you?"
Right. So strong I didn't even dare let him see how much it hurt.
But that's okay, Noah. I'll never cry out to you again.
