My Cold Blooded Luna

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Lilith’s POV

The council members, Jackson, and I had migrated to one of the meeting rooms in the pack house. I sat to the right hand of the head council member, and Jackson sat to the left. He was staring at me like he would come over the table and rip my head off, but the council had actually hand cuffed him to the table so he would be still. If they weren’t convinced before that he was abusive of his power and a bit unhinged, they definitely should be now. I kept my head held high though, refusing to succumb to his intimidation any further. The lead council member cleared his throat, making us stop looking at each other and instead face him.

“We are going to give you each 30 days to train in your home packs. On the night of the 30th day, you will be summoned to a neutral pack for you duel.” One of the council members explained, writing something down on a slip of paper.

I nodded, realizing this meant I was going home. I had missed Lucas and my mother so much over the last few years. Surely, they would miss me too despite my sudden leaving with Jackson. My mind drifted to Forrest, I had missed our playful banter and late nights training or hanging out around the pack grounds.I felt my heart clench a little at the thought of my old friend. I bit my lip to contain my excitement, merely nodding my head instead.

“This is an outrage! If she’s ready to challenge me she should be ready to fight me!” Jackson snarked, shaking about even in his cuffs.

“Silence, and calm yourself!” The woman of the group snapped, making him instantly still in his seat. “You will do well to follow instructions Jackson. You’re not to have any further contact with her prior to the duel. As for your divorce, there is some paperwork we have to go through prior along with witness statements and a court proceeding for the alleged abuse and misleadings in the pack. We just have all of this in order prior to you ripping each other apart.” She continued to explain.

“ALLEGED abuse?” Astrid sneered in my head, livid at that statement.

That was frankly bull s**t, but I dared not to argue with them and quietly nodded my head. No one had seen my abuse due to the facade we had put on all this time, but I was able to show them my memories. I sighed softly. They would believe me in time, he truly is psychotic. I simply prayed to the moon goddess I would have the packs support though this.

“When can I go home?” I whispered, staring at my hands, fidgeting a bit.

“Whenever you’re ready.” The leader turned to me and grasped my shoulder, shaking it lightly.

“I’m ready to go, I miss my family.” I offered a small smile to him and bit my lip slightly, trying to hold in all of my emotions.

“Very well.” The man said, tapping me again. “We will see you in 30 days Lilith.”

Everything that followed was a blur; everything around me shifted to nothing I could truly see, and when things started to go clear again, I was no longer in the conference room. I blinked a few times as things came into focus, I was in my childhood bed room! I gasped softly, unsure how he had even managed to do such a thing as transport me. Without missing a beat to Ponder it, I dashed out of my room and began dashing down the halls. My wolf was doing her best to find a recent scent from any member Of my family, excitedly buzzing in my head. It didn’t take long, I went up the stairs towards my brothers rooms when I caught both of their scents, along with mom and dads. The other fragrance filled my nose and made Astrid begin to purr. I ignored her, pushing further forward towards the smells. The most beautiful one was becoming harder to ignore, my brain started to register what that intense feeling was.

It was like fresh fallen rain and cedar wood, pure ecstasy for my nose. Astrid pushed forward, desperately seeking control of our body. Just as I rounded a corner, I made very hard contact with something hard. Everywhere my body had touched lit up with delightful tingles. Slowly, I backed up and looked up, Forrest stood in front of me. A million emotions flooded through me; fear, joy, sadness, and slight disgust that it was my childhood friend that I always grouped mentally with my brothers. My mouth hung open, I felt like a deer in the headlights in this moment. Suddenly, Astrid ripped control from me to speak to him. She was quivering with excitement.

“Mate.” Astrid purred at the same time as Forest through my mouth.

No no no, This couldn’t be happening today, to me right now. I was finally free from a man trying to control me, there was no way I was prepared for another one. I backed away from him, my eyes widening a bit. This was all happening too fast. My mind was racing, I felt like the walls were closing around me. Astrid was trying to quietly comfort me, rambling about how our mate would never hurt us and I was tough. I quickly erased the panic from my face, instead putting a blank look on my face and tried to stand tall. He didn’t need to know that I was afraid of him.

He looked upset by my reaction, and just started at me with sad eyes. Before either of us could say another word my mother and Lucas rounded the corner. Lucas immediately dove forward and hugged me, he was so much bigger than I remember. Last time I saw him he was 14, he’s now an adult. My heart swelled a bit, I had missed him so terribly much, and he has grown into a fine young man. I took him into my arms and laughed.

“Lucas!” I cheered, ruffling his hair.

My mom walked up to us as well and wrapped me into a big hug. We stood in each others embrace for several moments before Forrest cleared his throat. I could feel my heart drop into my stomach and I fought the urge to run to his arms and comfort him or tell him how much I cared for him and wanted him. Lucas and my mother looked between the two of us, not sure what was going on. My mother grew a slight smile, as if she was piecing it together on her own.

“Lilith is my mate.” Forrest whispered, making my heart stop for a moment.

Obviously I had already drawn this conclusion but hearing it said aloud was hard. His voice was so soft, it was honestly really hot. That’s probably Astrid making me think that, but it genuinely was very attractive. Everyone stared at him, absolutely dumb founded by his statement. My mothers eyes darted to the mark on my neck and she frowned.

“How is that possible?” She gestured to my make and began to pace around a bit.

Just then my dad and Liam rounded the corner, both looking guilty. My mother growled at my dad angrily, and Liam stepped away from him. I went rigid, remembering what he had done to me all those years ago.

“You..you did this to me!” I screamed at him with tears in my eyes. My moms face went to a bit of horror before she growled at my father again.

“Now Lilith please-“ He started, holding up his hands. I was angry with him, be deserved to be outed for doing this to me. Astrid wanted control, she wanted to taste his blood in he joules.

“That man hit me! He called me worthless and treated me like garbage the last four years for what?!” I snarled, I cutting him off. “You’re a worthless excuse of a father!” My tone got deadly calm, I was trying to contain all my emotions.

My father stared at me, a bit hurt before he looked at my mom. He looked around a bit before he spoke. My mother was suddenly a bit more anxious, like there was more to this conversation.

“Have you bore an heir?“ his tone was flat, my mom paled.

“No? We believe I’m infertile, not that that should make any difference to you.” I snapped, crossing my arms.

Forrest was still staring at me, looking rather awe struck. I don’t think he was hearing a word we were saying, but the word infertile seemed to make him perk up a little. My mom was anxiously fidgeting now, and seemed to be mind linking with someone. Forrest took a step toward me as if to comfort me, but I stepped back again.

I truly couldn’t be with him. I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to feel this bond and now that I do, I’m only afraid. Why was I being given my mate now, before I can conquer my husband and stabilize myself. Then I remembered the worst part, I had killed his father. He had deserved it, but trying to explain this to Forrest who believed all of this time that his father died a hero, would be heart wrenching.

“Actually Lilith, it makes all the difference.” A wicked smile played on my fathers face, it was truly sickening.

“Don’t do this right now, Luke.” My mother pleaded, shooting him a side glance.

My dad stepped toward me, making me abandon all thoughts of Forrest. This time I did not back away, I stood tall, staring directly back into his eyes. He growled at me, a demand for me to stand down, I did not obey.

He lurched forward, grabbing my throat. This was the final straw for not only Astrid, but Forrest and my mother. Astrid pushed forward and I shifted, my clothes shredding to the floor. She was a beautiful sandy color, with deep brown eyes. She snapped at him, pushing him onto his back with the help of his shock. My mother and Forrest both lunged forward as well, growling at him in a warning way. The council would loathe me if I challenged my father mere hours after I challenged my husband, so I reigned in Astrid. There was no way I could shift back since I now had no clothes, but I continued my low, warning growl at him. Forrest stood beside me, as if to be comfort and support in this moment, I couldn’t bring myself to move away.

‘Explain’ I demanded through mint link, leaving it open for him, my mother, siblings, and Forrest to hear.

My dads wicked smile reappeared, and he glanced at my mom, who was now biting at her nails anxiously. As he spoke another man rounded the corner, I’d never seen him before but he looked so much like..Lucas. The resemblance was insane, what was he doing here anyway? My eyes widened, there was so much happening right now, and I just wanted to sleep. The man made eye contact with me first and then looked at Lucas, he looked… sad. My heart twisted yet again.

“He will tell you who we are” Astrid whispered in my head, making my heart start to pound. She had been saying for years I would meet a man that made everything made sense.

“Who are we Astrid?” I pleaded for the millionth time, knowing she wouldn’t explain.

“Ah if it isn’t my old pal Ezra.” My father sneered, looking like he was going to be attacking again.

My mother paled, shooting me a side glance. She was behaving so strangely, none of this made any sense. Who is this guy? Is this who my mother had mind linked to come here? There wasn’t long before my thoughts were interrupted by my father continuing to speak.

“Why don’t you go ahead and tell them Lily, tell them the mockery they are to my name!” He spat, moving his glare from Ezra to my mother.

“E-Ezra is my m-mate.” She stumbled over her words, looking anywhere in the room but at us.

I gasped, realizing what was done to me was also done to my mother. She had never loved my father because he was in fact not her mate. This made perfect sense as for why he loathed not only her but me. It probably pained him to be around women he didn’t love while being denied his own mate. It made me boil yet again with anger, why couldn’t any of the men in this bloodline let their children be happy. We all had matas for a reason, it wasn’t just a suggestion made at random. My eyes met my fathers, I could tell I was starting to shift again. Forrest grabbed my arm firmly but not too hard, I felt my body start to relax in his grasp.

Astrid was fuming in my head, screaming that we could take our father and kill him. She shrieked that he was nothing but a weak, miserable old man. I was taking heaving breaths trying to contain my anger, and more importantly her. This would all be in vain, my father snickered.

“He’s also your dear old dad.” He hissed, stalking towards me like a Lion to a zebra. He was baiting me.

“You’re lying!” I snarled, still refusing to back down from him. That was absurd, just because he was her mate didn’t mean he had to be our father.

Astrid went still though and sighed softly.

‘He’s telling the truth little one” she whispered in my mind, I could feel her defeat.

Tears pricked in my eyes, I fought as hard as I could to contain them but they spilled down my cheeks in streams. Astrid howled, she sounded as though she was in agony, I had only heard a howl like that at the death of a loved one or rejection of a mate. She was screaming out from all the turmoil in her life. I could feel it too, I was exhausted.

Forrest suddenly lunged forward at me, I tried to side step away but he managed to snatch me back by the arm he had been holding. Unable or maybe unwilling to fight with him anymore, he scooped me up in his arms. The tingles returned, and Astrid seemed to relax, stopping her little tantrum. He glared at everyone in the room, growling as a warning to all of them.

“I’m taking my mate to her room. That is quite enough alpha.” His voice was dripping in venom, but no one dared to question him. My ‘father’ only growled slightly, watching us as I was carried away.

He carried me to my room, I laid limp in his arms. There was no point in fighting with him, he would simply keep fighting me and likely had far better endurance. Once inside my room, he sat me down on the bed, and cautiously stepped away from me. He looked hurt and sad, just staring at me with puppy dog eyes. My chest ached at that look, I wanted to comfort him, alas my body didn’t budge. There was not a fiber of muscle in my body that relaxed now, as I fought the urge so harshly to touch him.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, looking at the ground beside the bed.

“I am too.” I said just as quietly, playing with my fingers gently.

“Do you even want me?” His voice cracked slightly, he was fighting tears. I never thought I’d see the tough betas son in such a state.

“I don’t know right now Forrest.” The words hurt me to even say, Astrid begged me not to respond.

“I understand, I’ll leave you alone Lilith.” He sighed, looking defeated as he turned away from me to leave.

“Are you going to reject me?” He asked, not turning back to even face me as he asked. His body was shaking slightly, whether it was from anger or sadness I couldn’t say. I was honestly scared of what he would do if I said yes.

To be perfectly honest, I wasn’t sure that I wouldn’t reject him later. He didn’t need to know that though. I bit my lip and sighed softly. Hell, I didn’t even know that I didn’t want him. Surely it’s just the fear from Jackson. I’ve known Forrest since we were kids, he would never hurt me.

“You just need to heal little one.” Astrid cooed in my mind. I’m sure she was right, but deep down the idea of love was utterly terrifying. “Please don’t abandon mate, he makes us stronger too.” She pleaded.

“No, Forrest.” I finally choked out. “I won’t reject you. Not now and maybe not ever.” Was my half hearted reply.

He stiffened a bit but still didn’t look in my direction, rather he walked away and out of the room. My heart felt like it was on fire, a desire to chase him and apologize was loud and demanding. I gulped, unfamiliar with such a strong drive. However, I was stronger, and I would not give in so easily to temptation. I looked out the window, wishing I could be anywhere but here right now. I’d give anything to be a child again, before this cruel world had me in its clutches.