My Cold Blooded Luna

Control

Lilith’s POV

I sat alone in my room after Forrest left me, and curled into a ball. There was nothing I could do to stop the tears from spilling over my cheeks and onto my feet below me. My chest heaved, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It was a strange sensation, like a panic attack, but I had never had one before. If I had a few days or weeks I probably would’ve run directly into Forrest’s loving arms.

“Mate.” My wolf whispers, making me realize this pain wasn’t mine.

The realization made a grave feeling creep up inside me. Besides being my mate, he has always been such a good friend to me. I remembered a time when we were younger that only made my heart clench more.

*10 years ago*

“Catch me if you can!” Forrest screamed before running off through the woods.

“Stop running you meanie!” I shrieked back following suit behind him.

We charged through the woods, and slowly I began to gain on him. As an alphas daughter that was already in touch with her wolf, I was naturally faster than him. Just before I was able to grab his elbow he veered off to the left and towards the lake. Astrid was very amused by him, and urged me to keep chasing our friend.

“Hope you’re ready to get wet!” He announced, running straight down the dock and off the edge.

“I was born ready!” I announced, plunging in right after him.

I had actually landed on him, almost making us both get a lung full of water. We came back up sputtering and coughing between our giggles. We splashed each other for a bit before getting out to head back to the pack house.

*flashback over*

I could still remember the lecture we got from my dad when we got back. Astrid was now pacing in my head, begging me to chase after him. Regardless, I kept my feet planted beside my bed with my muscles tensed. Things were so much easier back then.

“He’s in pain Lilith, please.” She begged in my head whining as she paced about.

“I can’t Astrid, I just can’t.” I responded, biting my lip. I hated to tell her no, especially when I’m sure she was right.

“Let me then, I will!” She was getting desperate, and I found myself feeling weaker.

She was with drawing her strength from me, as If to force her way out. I didn’t stand a chance against her in my own mind, and slowly watched as she took control of my body. I began to watch through our eyes like a TV screen, unable to physically control my body any longer.

Astrid made a mad dash out the door and down the steps of the pack house. It was a miracle she didn’t knock anything or more importantly anyone over in her desperation. She kept sniffing sharply, trying to pinpoint exactly where he’d gone in the few minutes it took her to take over. I smelled it in the same moment she did, that sweet woodsy smell. Our eyes shifted to the front door and within a matter of moments we were dashing out into the darkness.

We hadn’t been running outside long when she found him, in wolf form by a small pond in the woods. She herself shifted and dove on to his back in a way that May would seem aggressive to anyone other than our mate. He collapsed beneath us, immediately opening his neck in a submissive way, technically he did rank below us. My heart clenched like someone has stabbed a knife through it at this. It meant a lot, but mainly that he didn’t see us as an equal like a mate should.

“Look what we’ve done” Astrid choked out at me.

I couldn’t even respond, just feeling dispare. We couldn’t win. Astrid whines at him, licking at his furry neck affectionately. He squirmed a bit, but didn’t fight her off of him. In wolf form, you couldn’t tell if the human or wolf was in control of the body, but in human form the eyes would blacken when the wolf was in control. He shifted beneath us, being entirely naked. I cried out, urging Astrid to get away from this situation but she too shifted.

There our bodies lay, naked and entirely engulfed in one another. I felt like a prisoner in bondage, unable to move even a little as I watched what I didn’t want to unfold. Astrid ignored my begging, following her primal instinct to be with him. He gently reached his arm around our waist, pulling us in, but not making any further moves.

“Look at me.” His voice was cracking a bit , but also so gentle towards us.

Astrid hurried our face in his chest and shook her head. She knew as well as I did that he knew why our behavior had changed so suddenly towards him. He seemed like he was trying to fight off his own wolf, his fingers popping like he was fighting a shift. I hoped he managed to contain his, our wolves would do many unthinkable things if left to their own devices.

He firmly but slowly pulled our chin up so he could be met with black eyes. His suspicion that Astrid was responsible for our behavior was proven. She whined at him, as if to beg him to ignore this fact.

“It’s not Lilith, midnight.” He was obviously speaking to his wolf out loud.

“I want you though, even if she doesn’t.” Astrid whispered, trying to cling to him like a toddler would to their mother or father.

“I know you do Astrid, but she deserves time to process all the things happening right now. She would never forgive either of us if we are hasty.” He explained to her, reminding her that I have an equal say in this.

“I know..I just want to be near you.” She pleaded, sounding so desperate.

It scared me how badly she wanted to be near him. I never wanted to depend on a mate for my own stability or happiness, but seeing my own wolf looking this week made me even more afraid. All I had ever received from a relationship was painful. On the flip side, Forrest was my best Friend for most of my childhood. I doubted he would ever do anything to hurt me. He was completely right though, I needed time.

“Let her out, Astrid.” He pleaded softly, running his long fingers through our hair.

Astrid whined but nodded, allowing me to slowly move back forward And regain control of our limbs. I sighed, pulling my hands and legs over my bare body despite the fact he had now seen it. That was something I’d hoped to keep for myself until I was sure of everything, but it was done now.

He sighed, averting his eyes from me. Apparently he could sense my discomfort. Black and blue swirled in his eyes as he tried to suppress his urges. I was pretty impressed by his self control over his wolf considering mine just bullied me out Of the way for less. I cleared my throat and peeled myself off of him, still trying to cover the goods from him.

“My clothes are back by the wood line, I can give them to you.” He offered, still making no effort to cover himself from me.

I felt my eyes drifting down, and a dark blush crept across my cheeks. Astrid was giggling like a little school girl in the back of my mind. Forrest’s chuckle broke me from my dazed stare, and I felt the blush impossibly darken. My face had to be a good resemblance of a red crayon at this point. I ignored him though, allowing my eyes to trail over him.

Through our child hood I always thought Forrest was charming, but the mate pull had me viewing him in a brand new light. I felt my stomach full with butterflies at the thought of him touching me, claiming me. This wasn’t anything I was ready for him, but I had to admit the urge to let him have me was intense. The idea of his tall muscular frame hovering over me was making me feel strange. Something I had never felt with Jackson, moisture was pooling from below. Forrest took a deep breath, obviously smelling it.

“Lilith..you need to go.” He choked out, his eyes were now almost completely black.

“Oh no, we should definitely stay.” Astrid purred in my head “Imagine the delightful things he would do-“

I didn’t let her finish, he was most definitely right. His reaction didn’t shock me, I was standing stark naked in his face with the smell of arousal radiating from me. Any mate would be tempted, I’m simply impressed he didn’t pounce on me like a dog on a steak. My feet carried me faster than I thought possible as I fled from his side. I remembered the clothes he mentioned, finding them a few yards before the wood line. Hastily, I pulled his shirt over my head, followed by his workout shorts that I had to tightly tie around my waist to keep from falling.

His clothes were probably at least two or three sizes too big, but everything was covered at least. I could hear some rustling behind me and went to keep running. Right before I made it back into the pack house, I ran into the man I had always believed was my father. We collided with enough force that I fell backwards, while he stayed upright. He snickered at me as I fell.

“I see you wasted no time with your new little friend.” He teased, glaring at me.

“W-we did no such thing!” I stumbled a bit over my words, making direct eye contact.

To be completely frank, I was terrified of the man standing before me. He was willing to sell me off to another Alpha, had stood by to let someone attempt to kill Lucas, and was frankly just an a**hole. However, I refused to let him sense any weakness from me, Astrid seemed confident that we could take him or we had to. Astrid was bristling in my head at his behavior, and had already tried to attack him once. I had to be strong though; I would handle him in due time.

“Oh is that so? So where are your clothes, and how did you end up in his?” He advanced towards me, but I didn’t back away. In fact I moved closer just as aggressively.

“I went after him in wolf from. I tore my clothes. So he was a gentleman and gave me his!” I growled, shaking a bit from either fear or anger.

“You always have been such a fire cracker. I don’t see why it matters. You’re used goods anyway.” He snickered, that was Astrid’s final straw.

She surfaced with a vengeance, I didn’t even touch him and he went flying several feet back. He landed on his back in the grass, heaving due to the air being knocked out of his lungs. Astrid was far from done with him though, and lunged at him again.

Our faces were mere centimeters apart and I growled low in my chest. His eyes were wide as he stared back up at me. Good, now he’s afraid. I’m really unsure how I was able to do all is this, but I wouldn’t ask too many questions.

“You may be used to being the top dog, but no longer alpha.” Astrid spat fearlessly, shocking both me and Luke.

“What do you mean by that Astrid?” I finally had the balls to ask her, feeling like we just got ourselves in deeper sh*t.

“You’ll see, he will tell you soon.” Was her strange reply.

Luke suddenly shoved us off of him and growled ferociously. He was getting in our face again.

“Need I tell the council about how you sold us? Or should I start with what you tried to do to Lucas?” She spat, still refusing to give him an inch.”

“Need I tell Forrest what really happened to his father?” He taunted, finally saying something that made me back down a bit.

I probably shouldn’t be too worried about any of it, I was simply protecting Lucas. However the idea of telling my mate that I had been the one to kill his father sounded horrific. I sighed softly, and took a step back from him.

“So I suggest you keep quiet, and I’ll do the same.” He whispered, tapping me on the shoulder.

“Fine. But you also need to leave me alone.” I protested, crossing my arms, irritated.

“Deal Lilith.” He hissed, pulling me toward him with my arm twisted behind my back. “Don’t forget who’s really in control dearest.”