A Glimpse of What Could Be

The wind carries the scent of change, and the trees lean towards the unknown. Sometimes, it’s terrifying to face our reality—of what tomorrow might bring. We didn’t know what the possibilities were—it’s full of mystery and uncertainty. Just like where I am today... “Good morning, Ma’am.” The guard smiled and greeted the visitors. He guided them in the right direction. I can see how he appeared to be genuinely happy and respectful to others, but I noticed how he faked it to cover up what he truly carries everyday. It’s easier to pretend than to make your vulnerability visible. In the end, we are the only ones who can save ourselves, the rest are just noises. “Good morning, Ma’am Kathy! Long time no see. Hinahanap n’yo po ba Daddy n’yo?” Manong guard greeted me with a warm smile. He’s the long term guard in our company. He served us for more than 5 years already. “Good morning. Yeah, I’ll visit Dad, today. Is he here in his office?” I asked. Since, I don’t have any idea of my parent’s whereabouts. They never let me know about their schedules at work. I was always waiting for them to come home. “Ay, sorry ma’am umalis na sila kanina lang, eh. ‘Di mo naabutan, kasama n’ya yung assistant baka may importanteng meeting yata na pupuntahan.” Sabi na nga ba, eh. Ultimo anak kailangan magpa appointment muna bago sila makausap. “Ganun ba? Sge, salamat manong.” Umalis akong bagsak ang balikat. Gusto ko sana magpaalam ng personal bago umalis ng mansion. I will move to my condo today, since medyo malayo ang papasukan ko for college. Pero mukhang malabo yata na makakausap ko sila. Maging si mommy ay nasa ibang bansa rin for a business meeting. I drove back home as tears are forming in my eyes. ~~~~~~~~~ As I stepped outside my condo, the warm breeze of the air welcomed me. The sun shines brighter looking down at me. I was about to go to school to attend my classes. I contemplate if I should stop by to get a coffee but decided otherwise. Usually, I would stop at a nearby coffee shop to grab some coffee to lighten up my mood and prepare myself for a long tiring day ahead. But today, I went straight to our building and attend to my class this morning. I am now a freshmen student, taking up AB Political Science. At first, I was hesitant to enroll under this program because I really don’t want to deal with political issues, knowing it is as complicated as we all think it is. And knowing that Madrigals Family are more into businesses. So, it somehow made me think multiple times when I chose PolSci. Well, what can they do? This is what I want. Because a part of me was eager to know how politics works, and delves into the world of our toxic government system. When I entered the room, i caught a pair of eyes glued at me—his stares were scratching my skin by the way it pierced at me. I didn’t pay much attention to that, since it’s just something that I don’t really care about. “Good morning, class please rise for the prayer.” We all stood up and prayed before our prof proceeded to the introduction of our subject. I was a little late, and our professor arrived minutes earlier than me. I tried to focus but my mind kept flying elsewhere. The way that guy looked at me pierced my skin and I don’t even know who that guy is. What did he think I am? Is he judging me or something? As far as I can remember, I fixed my overall look today, from the outfit, makeup, and hairstyle—I made sure I didn’t look like s**t during my first day of school. Nothing’s wrong with the way I look, but he makes it seem like something’s wrong. He’s familiar to me but I can’t remember where I encountered him. Maybe, we just bumped into each other somewhere that I already forgot. Anyway, I don’t have much time to think of him. At least, I wanted to focus and listen to what my professor are discussing. “Politics were always been the hottest and controversial topic that we can discuss whether in our homes, friends, or school—it’s a neverending issue which we could never ignore. Especially, that our economy will also be affected. So, as a PolSci students, you should keep in mind how important it is to value and get involved in these matters.” He explained. And with that, I agree that we need to pay attention to political issues because, it’s always linked to any other issues that we are facing. We cannot blame those who hold power for having this broken system when in fact, we’re the ones who put them in that position. In short, we’re partly the reason as to why our system is broken. “I know some of you here are not really into politics, or maybe, you are forced to study this program—but I strongly believe that you’ll eventually learn to embrace Political Science.” He continued, until it was time for class dismissal. It’s just an ordinary day, nothing special. My morning went well and just like what I always do. I stroll around the campus since the next class will be in the afternoon. So, I have a lot of vacant time as of the moment. I’m not good at making friends or connecting with other people. I prefer to be alone than associating with the wrong ones who have nothing else to do aside from judging and envying those who are doing better than them. I hate those kinds of mindsets. Why would you hate someone just because they’re doing fine than you do? Can’t you be happy for them because they did well instead of being jealous? I just coudn’t be with having a f****d up mindset kind of friends. As I walk around, I could see that there are a bunch of students who are rushing to go to their respective classes— while some were counting their steps, unaware that the clock kept moving. And when I looked at the other side, I saw a group of friends laughing at something I don’t know. It’s good to have friends, really. It feels like having someone who can make you laugh and feel better when you are sad. I wonder why I feel content to be alone. How does it feel to have someone who’s willing to offer a hand when you need to be taken care of, and lend an ear to listen to random things that pops up in your mind? I never felt that. All my life revolves around reading books and staying in my room. I rarely go outside or malls. And I can’t relate to others with the same age as mine. But I didn’t regret choosing my own peace. I don’t regret enjoying my own company than surrounding myself with pretentious people. I don’t know. I feel so much contentment with the things I do, even if it means spending time with myself, alone. I was busy thinking when someone bumped my shoulder. I almost fell in the ground. But good thing, I quickly stood straight to maintain my composure. Then I realized who it was. He is the guy earlier who stared at me like he’s about to eat me whole in the class. I noticed that he has a mole above his mouth on the right side since where too closed to each other, this time. He’s kind of...handsome to be honest. His eyelashes are curled up and longer than any other guys. I saw his grey eyes gazing at me. He blinks twice. Probably shocked at who he bumped into. “Ahmm.... I, a-apologize, miss. I didn’t mean to bump you. I was just in a rush, hope you’ll understand.” He said in a husky voice, yet hesitant. I look directly in his grey eyes. It shows nothing. No emotion. It’s just plain and dull. Then it blinks. I like his eyes the way it glows despite having no emotion. I don’t know, this is the first time I stared longer at someone’s features especially in the eyes. I snapped back into reality when he stood straight. “Oh, it’s fine. I’m okay.” I said, to assure him that it’s nothing. “Okay...good to know. Anyway, I will go ahead. I’m so sorry, again...” He replied, then turned his back at me. He hurriedly walked past the students till he disappeared from my sight. This time, I realized that he really has that natural look, his eyes were naturally intimidating...but when you look closer, it’s something you can’t take your eyes off. I continued walking around and ate my lunch inside the campus until it was time to attend my next classes. I attended my major subject right now, our professor gave us an introduction and the topics to be discussed for the entire semester. I felt a little excitement as I learned how interesting the topics are. I can’t imagine surviving this program for four years...but I know that I can. Our class ended, so I decided to leave the classroom, and when I was about to go out, I caught him staring at me, again. I just shrugged and left the room. My first day in college is just fine, I haven’t felt any difficulty, especially that our classes just got started. I guess, I would enjoy this program little by little. I did my usual routine when I got to my condo. I just ordered a food for my dinner since I still didn’t have stock in my ref—I decided to buy groceries tomorrow after class, since it will end early. After eating dinner, I downloaded the soft copies material our professors sent through sss. And when I opened it, I started my readings, since I don’t want to be dumb in case our professor asks or we will have a surprise recit. Then, I realized that we have a lot to read in this course. I don’t find it hard understanding the lessons, because I’m used to reading and I love learning new things. Tomorrow came, and it’s time to prepare for school earlier than yesterday. So, I decided to grab a coffee instead of having breakfast since I don’t feel like eating. Pagdating ko ng classroom ay wala pa ang mga kaklase ko. I seated at the front dahil mas makapag-focus ako dito ever since I was in Highschool. “Good morning, ang aga mo, ah?” I startled when someone entered the room. And then here he is, the guy with the gray eyes. He looks clean with his all-black outfit, lol. “Anyway, my name’s Javier Gray Cojuanco, the one who bumped into you yesterday, did you remember me?” Nilahad niya ang kamay niya as he introduced himself. “Ah, yeah,... good morning, I am Katherine Astrid Madrigal, nice to meet you.” Tinanggap ko ang kamay niya para makipagkamayan. He seems kind naman but still, I don’t like to get close to people. “We’re classmates pala in most of our subjects, I just noticed you since yesterday...but I was shy to approach you.” He said, pero hindi niya magawang tignan ako sa mata, I think he’s shy, that’s why. “Ohh, really? I didn’t notice you, sorry...I was in a hurry din pala kahapon, and I didn't get to see you while in class.” I lied. Alangan namang sabihin ko na nahuli ko siya na tingin ng tingin sakin simula kahapon pa, dba? He just shook his head and our other classmates arrived. He sat next to me, and that’s when I realized that most of the seats were occupied by our classmates who seemed really close to each other already. “Can I sit here? I don’t have friends here yet, and I’m too shy to ask others to sit next to them...” “It’s okay, you can take that seat, I don’t have friends here either.” I smiled at him a little. I felt comfortable with him, even if we just met, or should I say, I just known him for a while. Maya-maya dumating na ang professor namin, kaya we’re all quiet and listened to the discussion. As the class begins, our prof starts to call names to answer his questions. Buti nalang nag advance reading ako, tiyak anytime ay matatawag din ako, ayoko rin naman magmukhang tanga sa klase kung sakali. “Next, Miss Madrigal...Why do we need to study politics? And what do you think its significance in our daily life?” Our professor asked. So, I stand up as I answered his question. “In these present times, we are completely aware of what’s going on around us. We have access to the internet, which could be our source of information. If we chose to be ignorant, it’s like living a life without purpose. That’s why we need to be aware, get involved —be educated. Learning is a lifelong process, we can never say that we are knowledgeable enough with the things laid in front of us. So as politics. We’ll never know how it really works until we study it. It’s our responsibility to know our rights, to choose, and speak up when needed. This will help us to have a better understanding of why things happen the way it is. And we also have choices, it depends on us how we are going to do with the privilege of knowing what we don’t know.” I answered with confidence. Because it’s true that we always have choices, no matter what happens in our society, we should know our place on it. One thing I will never forget is to speak my mind. To use my voice when needed. We have the right to speak and remain silent. It’s up to us whether we’ll use our voice to influence or we’ll keep our mouth shut even if we’re in a critical situation. After class I went to a nearby grocery store to buy what I needed. Habang kumukuha ako ng mga items napansin ko na may nakatingin sakin. At hindi nga ako nagkamali nang lumingon ako ay nandun si Gray. Ewan ko ba’t nandirito na naman ang tao na ‘to.