The Sight of Tomorrow

There were important reasons why he’s here. Although he couldn’t bear to spill it out, but for some reason, he felt different now. He felt refreshed, and the feeling inside him that’d been bothering him for a week, it all seemed gone. He thought it’s because of how the wind blew from the northern, it wasn’t cold nor warm, but on one thing he’s sure in mind was that: it’s relieving. Since he left home, he felt like free, free from all the confusions and all the pressures in his own past life. And it’s indeed, he believed, that it’s because of this city. It had this unique identity that even he could carry it on. The simple but elegant way of how people live in this town, he very much admired it. To how they act even with the simplest of things they had, it changed him to who he really was. Those things changed him forever. Pagudpud, Ilocos Norte, was not different from other northern towns of this island. But what made it unique from others, it had a very wise culture and they learned to preserve all the heritages that their ancestors left them. He couldn’t believe that until now, in this modern time, there were still who owned the urge to protect what they had. All the vintage houses, the arts from the past, and their form of stress reliever, it’s all preserved and well-maintained. And he’s sure that if there’s nothing bad happened to him, or even in his relationship, he might’ve not known this place. Bad things . . . it’s all because of it. However, even if he tried to forget all those things that caused him to reach this far place away from where he grew, it’s not getting out of his system. He wished that he could just forget everything, all the pain, all the sacrifices he made, or even the simplest stain that disgrace his relationship from another. But he couldn’t, he promised God, and from that point of time, he couldn’t behave to disgrace that promise . . . forever. And so, this was the only way, he just needed to unwind for a moment, and forget all that had happened. But to be honest, he didn’t intend to stay here for this long, however, this place was too touristy. There were places that even if he tried to ignore, he kept on visiting them until the last minute of a day. In fact, he visits them not only once but twice. In his idea, it’s the only way he could get rid of what he knew. He’s been here for a week already, and for what he knew, he’s not ready to go back yet. He needed some time, and that time would be at least he could forgive the disgraceful event that happened in his life for the first time. If he just knew that it would be coming that way he didn’t expect, he might’ve not experiencing this. But it’s too late now to regret; to this he was sure. He expunged his thoughts now, and replaced those with a newer one. Sitting on the broad, white rock behind the wide shore, he watched the ocean water waved up to the sand’s boundary. It moved in motion . . . very slowly that seemed like dancing in the sweet music. Its scent lingered in his nostrils, and he could smell the salty, however, overwhelming sensation that pulsed through his body. He watched the full moon from sky afar. It’s bright and huge; as if it’s just kilometers away from where he sat. He looked at his wristwatch; time check: it was five o’clock now. It’s the right time to go. Right time he waited for his move. He stood from where he sat, and walked near the shore, where a small pier was placed. There, the boat he bought last week was floating and moving along the unsteady waves. He removed the rope around the pier’s five-meter foot, and sat on the stool inside the vessel. He flapped the paddle against the water’s surface, and the boat began to move easily. As if an angel of the ocean, it kept on moving until it reached far enough from the ground. He stopped the paddle and breathed deeply. He’s in the middle of the vast ocean, and he liked what he’s seeing. The view from here was different, and the feeling was out of the ordinary as well. As if he could feel his blood streaming inside his body easily, and the enthusiasm and excitement and the greatness, all at once he could feel it inside. But it was interrupted when he could feel the unsteady behavior of the boat. It’s moving left and right, and it couldn’t stop from moving. It was late when he noticed that it’s the water . . . the wave itself . . . it’s getting stronger in every minute he spent atop it. Now, he could feel how his heart raced faster than he thought. He got a tight hold on his both sides, and his heart raced again into its maximum level. He’s afraid of what’s about to happen, and he’s not sure if he’ll survive. He’d never wished this, and he never will . . . but what’s about to happen is unrelenting. Promptly, he could see how the tide leveled and the surge began to form. It bumped the deck into an uneasy move, and in one hit, it wrecked the boat into pieces. He was thrown faraway, and as if a small fish lost in the vast ocean, he swum up, but when he did, a large wave hit him. And together with a piece of the wrecked boat, it hit him directly on his head. An impact, more than he thought it could be, was summed up into one shot. Now, he could feel the pain, but he couldn’t react the same way. His thoughts were limited, and he could hardly move. He’s drowning, and drowning, until he couldn’t resist the gravity and lost his mind. His eyes slowly got into a close, and his future now demands two facts: first his life had never been easy, he faced too many errors, a lot of rejection, and his life seemed to be nothing; and second his life had ended the same way—a lot more, he could say. And the last thing he knew, he could hear an indistinct voice of a woman. Its sweet and warm sensation seemed to awake his lost soul—his soul that once had died and returned.