Shades of Green

Chapter 15: Hope's Decision

One month was all she could take of the whole pack being mated without her. One month of sad glares from Victoria and her avoiding any of Hope's outreach hand to help save her from drawing in hopefulness of not being apart of the pack. One month of trying to reach out and talking to Nicolas and even Janet about her feelings of feeling that she didn't belong. One month with Kaite, Josh and Sergio being so wrapped up in the company, they had no idea that she even existed unless they needed their dry cleaners or, eating a meal she had prepared. One month of "Can we talk later" and "Hope not right now I am late." One month of being pushed to the side and not feeling like she was even a part of the pack to begin with. Hope sat in her office looking at her pack mark and there she made her decision. She finally called her pack family and told them what was happening.

"I just feel like you're making a mistake, Hope. I am sure if you try and talk to them they would realize what was going on." Her mother said over the phone.

"Mom, I have tried many many times. They are always either too busy with me or being mates as they should be, but I was supposed to be one of their mates too. I guess I didn't realize how much Alpha's and Omega's really crave each other." Hope said sadly.

"Maybe your family pack Alpha should talk to your pack Alpha? Maybe that will light a fire under their asses and they will straighten up." Hope's mom said, frustrated. "Also, it's not true, you know. I crave your Beta father just as much if not more than any Alpha in your family pack."

"One, I don't think any amount of talking to them will help. Two, EWWWWW MOM, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR s*x LIFE WITH MY FAMILY!!." Hope yelled, her mom giggled.

"OK, OK, I know you will do what is best for you and your Beta. Just know we are here for you." Her mom said. "So when are you planning on leaving?"

" Tomorrow, that way, they will have the weekend to wrap up anything I miss while trying to give over my Beta duties," Hope said.

" OK, dear, call me the minute you're on the plane.", Her mom said.

" OK, momma, I will." Hope said.

"I love you, good bye baby." Her mom said.

"Love you too, good bye momma." Hope said and hung up the phone.

After giving the members their lunch, she headed to her next appointment and that was to pick out a Beta maid for the pack. She knew they would need some kind of help when she left and this would be her last act of kindness she could give to them. They could pay her with the money she had earned working at the company. Even though they had one banking account, it didn't mean that some of the money wasn't Hope's.

"Good afternoon, My name is Paula." The Beta said. She looked older than the pack but younger than her pack family. She had presents about her that made Hope feel safe and that was just what she wanted for her pack.

"Good afternoon, Paula. Thank you for meeting me here," Hope said. Hope wanted to do the interviews at the agency so the doorman wouldn't slip up and say anything to the pack about getting a maid. Chatting came easy for the Beta's and by the end of the interview Hope knew nobody would fit more perfectly than the Beta that was standing in front of her. Hope offered her the job on the spot. The Beta was all too happy to accept.

After her appointment, she went home and cooked dinner for the pack. Then she started a notebook for Paula, making sure she wrote down all of their schedules. Once she was done cooking dinner, she made her way to her room. Hope started to pack. Looking around her room with her suitcase, there was nothing she wanted to take, not even the clothes she had. They all smelled and reminded her of them. So she packed the bare minimum. She did take one item from each member and put it in a scent-blocking bag. They may have fallen out of love with her and probably wouldn't miss her smell, but she would miss theirs.

Years ago, the Hope had made a secret banking account. She had poured any extra money she received and would make monthly deposits from their main account as well, into it for the children the pack was to have. When they graduated from high school she would give it to them for their college fund. Now that she's leaving and there are no children, she can take the money and live off of it until she either finds a job or opens a business. It wasn't that she didn't have money in their account, and in the note she was leaving she told them to use that money to pay Paula if she was a good fit for them after the month she had already paid her.

Hope thought none of it really mattered any way, she was just an extra person in their pack they were stuck with and didn't want to mate. The whole reason for her leaving this way was to make it easier for her and her Beta. This way she wouldn't see their faces of approval and relief and she could go on pretending that they still loved her.

Hope had everything planned down to the second she would leave. After another somewhat awkward dinner, she went about her normal routine trying not to cause any extra attention to herself, but who are we kidding? It was almost six weeks since any of them had even noticed she was around. She finished the note she started writing earlier in the day. The note expressed how sorry she was that she had made it come to this point. How she no longer felt like an equal in the pack, but it now seemed like they didn't need her as a member, they just needed a Beta to aid them. It's a role her heart wouldn't let her play, because she had wanted a pack a mate.

In the note, along with talking about Paula, she told them that if they had not found a Beta mate replacement then they could decide to keep Paula or not. The Beta signed her name and stuffed the note in a large envelope. Then she added her debit and credit cards and all the contact information about the maid, closed it and sat it aside because she would have more things to put in it tomorrow.

Hope got ready for bed and went to see what everyone was doing. Since it was the Beta's last night there, she thought she would spend a little time with them. Josh and Katie were in his room cuddling and talking about work. Nicolas and Janet were in her room playing video games, laughing and cutting up. Victoria and Sergio were watching T.V snuggling on the couch. Hope didn't want to disturb any of them since they seemed to be doing what mated wolves do, so she said good night to each of them and went to bed.

The next morning she woke up and felt a tightness in her chest and her stomach rumble. She ran to the bathroom and threw up. She had to get control over nerves. She took some scent blockers, so she would not bother them with her nerves because she knew her scent would be all over the place today and strong. "Get it together Hope. You have a long day ahead of you and getting sick because of nerves isn't going to help anything." She said to herself as she washed up.

After Hope got ready for work she made her way to the kitchen and made a large breakfast, and fixed a nice lunch for them all. Following her normal schedule as she always does, she laid out their dry cleaning. Then she went to the office and talked to the secretaries about their schedules for the next few weeks. She also told them she wasn't going to be early anymore and to make sure every detail in their schedule went off without interruptions.

Hope tied up as many loose ends as she could without bringing any attention to herself, and because they had not given her any attention lately, it was more than enough to make sure every part of her life was covered. Hope sat everything in piles at her desk with notes attached to each one. She packed her special project in her bag, the one she had been working on. The Beta figured it would be a great business to start once she settled in her new place. At 12 pm she was placing their lunches on their desks. She wanted to give them a kiss and hug, good bye, but their meeting was running behind. Hope didn't have time to wait for it to be over, every minute of today counted.

When Hope got in the car she paused and tears began to run down her face. Even though this hurt, she knew what she had to do, she was doing this for the pack. So she wouldn't be a bother anymore. On her way home, she stopped at a*****e and purchased a new phone with a new number. Once she got home, she made dinner in serval crock-pots. That way they would have a hot meal to come home to. She set the table and went to get her things. She quickly changed into her travel clothes and grabbed her suitcase.

After she reset her phone, she then added the keys to the house, car, and her phone to the envelope. A clean break was what they all needed, and this was the last thing she could give them. Her new phone buzzed with a notification that her ride was there to pick her up to take her to the airport. One last look around at the life she had wanted but it turned into her worst fear. The Beta grabbed her things, turned and walked out the door for the very last time.

Hope had decided to keep her last name, and not send pack divorce papers to them. The Beta knew she could never be apart of another pack, nor did she want to. So her pack bite and last name would stand as a reminder of her old life and the happiness she once knew. Maybe one day she could forget how they quickly changed. She thought about what would happen when others asked about her pack. Hope plans to say that she is a widow and keep it at that. Normally, they would never ask anymore questions after that statement.

After a week of her being gone, her pack family called, telling her that her pack, had camped out at their house for a week in hopes that Hope would show up. Once they realized she wasn't coming and that her family wasn't going to tell them where she was, they left. Hope didn't understand why they had even gone to her family's pack house. It wasn't like anything was going to change if she was there. The Beta had failed them by not being what they wanted, even though Hope had told them all in the beginning what she had wanted, she had realized she never asked them what they wanted out of a Beta. Hence, the reason for Hope's heartbreak was because she had assumed they all wanted what she was asking for. With time, they would forget about her and carry on with their daily lives. This she knew.

Hope had been living in a hotel room trying to find an apartment to rent and hadn't been feeling good. Maybe it was the change in smells around her, or maybe it was her nerves of her Beta, finally calming down. She had noticed her Beta was more and more present since they left. So she decided to go to a doctor to make sure her Beta was OK.

"Mrs. Smith, everything looks great, your Beta seems to be healthy and, even though you have been through some trauma lately, I am sure with time your Beta will be in full swing by no time." Hope let out a sigh of relief. "Although Mrs. Smith, we did find one thing."

"What is it?" Hope started to worry.

"Your pregnant." The doctor said.

"I'm. Pregnant?" Hope tried the word on her lips.

"Yes, six weeks it appears" The doctor looked at his chart and read it. Hope was frozen. So was her Beta. She barely processed anything the doctor was saying. He gave her materials to read and they scheduled her next appointment. Hope was so numb going back to the hotel room. Once she got there, she sat on the bed in shock, processing what the doctor had just told her.

After the shock wore off, she began to process what a child would mean. Now it was for certain she defiantly didn't want to return to the Pack. She wanted to raise her children like she was, believing that all sub-genders are equals. Although she did want her child to grow up knowing the Pack, she began to look at child custody laws and what it would look like. After all her research, she called her Pack family and made a decision.

"Mom, I have made my decision. I want this child to be loved no matter what sub-gender they are." Hope said firmly.

"I just think you should at least call your pack and tell them. They don't have to know where you are at." Her mom said. "Hope you didn't see how sad and regretful they looked when they were here with us."

"Mom, it was more likely they were sad because they had to find a new Beta to do all the things they didn't want to do." Hope said as she dismissed her mom. "Also, I talked to a lawyer, we have written out a custody agreement but it won't start until she is five. I have done research and found that this is the best way of doing things. I plan on moving back to the town we lived in just in a different section where I know they never go. So me and the child can live peacefully, and we don't have to move around much" Hope carried on. "I plan on opening up a business for children's furniture. Mom trust me. If I need anything, I will reach out to you and my family."

Her mom agreed to keep quiet about the baby to the Beta's pack, agreed to respect Hope's decisions, and hung up. Hope, feeling confident in her choices, started to make her plans to go back to the town she once lived in.

Four months later....

Time marched on, and the Beta was starting to show. She had brought a small house outside of town in which her business was. Business was going great. People always needed children's furniture. Hope's furniture she made was affordable and elegant at the same time. In just a few short months, she had already had a warehouse and over 100 employees. The Beta had hired an assistant that helped her with everything and also knew her background in order to make sure there were no surprise run-ins with her ex-pack. She had hired maids to help with her work at home since she was pregnant, and couldn't do everything at work and at home at the same time. Hope was excited that everything was running smooth minus a few hiccups, but that comes with all business, and today she gets to find out what her pup is going to be. Hope arrives at the doctor's appointment buzzing with excitement.

"Good morning Hope, are we ready to find out what the baby is?" The ultrasound technician asked.

"Yes, I don't think I can wait any longer." Hope giggled and smiled.

" OK, let's see what we got going on here." the Omega said as she pushed the small scanner around, on Hope's belly. "Looks like everything is good, nice and healthy. Let's see if we can see the gender. Well, congratulations Mama you're having a girl." The technician said and smiled at Hope.

"A.. girl!" Hope said with tears in her eyes. They finished up and the doctor came in and told her everything was looking good. She changed, stopped at the window to make her next appointment and left. Pulling out her phone, she called her mom.

"ITS A GIRL!!" Hope screamed.

"Oh baby that's so wonderful!!" Her mom and the family were cheering behind her.

"Do you have a name picked out for a girl?" One of them asked.

"Yes, I do Sarah. Sarah is her name." Hope said proudly. Sarah was a name she had picked out a long time ago. A time where she had hope her dreams of living in a pack that loved her and respected her wishes to being an equal. Sarah was a name of promise, even though the Beta's dreams of living in a loving pack failed, it didn't mean she would fail her child. Now she could start a new life with new dreams all because she had found her hope. Her hope and love were now in Sarah.