The Money Making Superhero

In the city where I come from, you're better dead than broke. The city of Lagsgidi, a city of hustlers. And guess what, I was dead broke. Always been. I probably was born into penury. But I knew I was going to be rich someday. Didn't know how but just knew deep down somewhere in my guts. Maybe I could win a lottery. I had seen it all. Done it all. Cleaned public toilets, bit of pick pocketing, street hawking, low value bank frauds, been a pimp, gigolo. I even sold dope to the cops. Good news is I never got caught. It was the 15th of December, another year about to end and the big break was still yet to come. Woke up thoughtful as usual. Where would the next dollar come from? The phone rings to disrupt my thoughts. It's Lucy on the line. The girl down the street. Tall, dark, pink lips and moderate hips. Not every man's dream girl but perfectly okay for me. Though yet to get a yes. Let's just be friends. That's what she said. Well, we get to see every week. Didn't expect a yes for a broke guy so didn't feel bad. She said she had a job for me. Just the kind of news I wanted to hear. What are friends for? I asked what the job was all about. She said something about wearing a costume and making kids laugh. "Can we meet up at my office in 30 minutes," she said in her light soothing voice. "Sure will," I replied, jumping off the bed and running to get a quick shower. Exactly 30 minutes later, I was there. Lucy's place. That's what it's called. A low budget restaurant at the south side of town owned by Lucy. Forgot to mention, she's a good cook too. Unfortunately, not easy to get free food here even for friends. I had to wait for her to attend to a couple of clients. She has quite a number of them. I can say the restaurant is a success. She sells any local dish you can think of and tastes good too. More importantly, the food doesn't cost much. Her target market being low-income individuals. Finally, we get to talk business. "Hello Iyke. How are you doing?". "You look kind of pale," she said with a small frown on her face. "Hope you are good?". "I am doing great," I replied, managing to force a smile. You don't need to worry about me. She seemed relieved with my response and kept talking. "A client of mine who runs a shopping mall needs someone to play Santa Claus and entertain kids in the mall for a week". You will be paid 30 dollars a day. "Can you do it," she enquired, not quite sure if I'd like the idea. "For 30 dollars a day, I can run n***d round the mall everyday if she wants," I thought with a mischievous smile on my face. "Yeah, I can," I replied. “When do I start?". "Great!", she exclaimed. I will call the client and get back to you in a few hours. "Let me get back to work". "Talk to you later," she says and dashes out to attend to more clients. Thinking about it, I had lots of similar job experiences. Acted as a clown with the clowny costume at several kid birthday parties for much lesser pay. I left the restaurant thinking of where to get a Santa Claus costume. A Lagsgidi hustler doesn't wait to get the job before he gets the tools. If she doesn't call in 2 hours, will appear in the restaurant dressed as Santa Claus and get her to take me to her client's mall for a demonstration. 30 dollars a day? Can't miss out on that. I had forgotten Christmas was approaching, notwithstanding all the fun fare around town. Broke guys don't do festivities. It's all about money making priorities. Head filled with thoughts and strolling down the busy Conware Street, I didn't notice a probably drunk driver on a 2021 Tesla Model 3 - the five-door gasoline version, swerving from left to the right dangerously behind me. A car filled with men on costumes. Different shades of Santa Claus costumes. Then it happened so fast. I got hit. Last thing I remember was myself in the air and then on the ground. I passed out.