Kings and Castles

My phone is ringing, and it’s way too early. I turned to my side expecting to see Alastair calling to tell me he had made a mistake, but the phone boldly said Dad. What could he want to discuss so early in the morning? I pick up the phone and answer on the fourth ring. “Hi Dad, Good morning. Can I help you with something?” His call was so unexpected. It’s definitely not something that happens often. He couldn’t even make it to my graduation, not that I had high expectations anyway. “Hi Leah, I have important news to discuss with you. It’s not up for negotiation and I need you to be on the next flight back home to New Orleans. I hope you’re not with that boy, Alastair, anymore. He was never good enough for you”. The statement definitely catches me off guard. He’s never had any interest in my dating life. "… Firstly, I’m a fully grown adult and can visit home when I want to, and secondly, when did you become interested in my relationship? I hope you didn’t tell him anything.” “He’s smart enough to know that two of you would never have worked out anyway. And we’ll discuss when you get here. I’m expecting you before the end of this week”, he replies, then cuts the call immediately, not giving me any space to reiterate what I just said. I started to think about what could have happened to make him need me to go home. I’ve been there only a handful of times since I started university in New York, and if I do go it isn’t for longer than three or four days. That’s more than enough time to remind me of why I left in the first place. Regardless of what he says, I’ll make my own decision. After all, I have a whole 3 days to do so. I haven’t even thought of what to do with my life after graduating. I mean I definitely don’t want to work in his firm, and I’m not even sure my Dad would want to hire me. He doesn’t believe I have the skills to become a good lawyer despite me proving him wrong by finishing with honors. He always says class work is not the same as casework. What does he even think we do here? It's not like times have changed that much since he went to law school himself. I finally got up from bed and checked my email to see if the offer from Bailey and Crawford came through after my stellar interview. I’m doing everything in my power to make sure that I don’t think about Alastair. To be fair, I don’t even know if I’m truly in love with him, but I am used to him and, despite the number of arguments we’ve had recently, we get along quite well. Honestly, it’s his loss. He doesn’t know what he let go of. My stomach rumbling means food is calling my name. The email hasn’t come yet. They did say two weeks, so I still have a week before I get their verdict. If I do go back home, it’ll be the perfect excuse to come back to New York. I know for a fact that my fridge is empty, so I change into sweatpants and a hoodie, because the weather says there’s a sixty percent chance of rain. I make sure my umbrella is in my bag before heading out and locking my apartment door behind me. Despite the forecast, the sun is shining bright and there’s a cool breeze. It’s a great day to walk the six blocks to the coffee shop. Looking around, I realize just how much I’m reminded of my now nonexistent relationship and how much time we spent together. I definitely need to socialize more because Alastair’s friends were my friends. Now everything is going to be so awkward. The few trees and tall buildings surrounding me provide more than enough shade from the sun and I put my AirPods in my ear hoping to block out thoughts and focus on the sweet voice of Taylor. I’m also hoping not to bump into anyone I know, because I definitely don’t look my best and I don’t want to feed the narrative of heartbroken Leah that I know is being passed around my group of friends this period. Funnily enough, nobody has actually called to ask how I am except Amy. I knew I was antisocial to begin with, but this just makes me realize that Alastair was the reason I had something of a social life and the friendships I made were definitely surface and nothing deep. I see my favorite coffee shop, Donuts and Trees, just ahead and once I arrive, I open the door just to find myself face to face with Alastair just as he’s leaving. My body becomes stiff, and I try to compose myself. It’s been barely 2 weeks since he broke the news to me. “Hi, Ali”, the nickname he gave me still falls from his tongue like butter. My heart skips a beat. He re-entered the shop with me. Why? At least ten seconds pass before I’m able to respond. This isn’t how I expected our first meeting to be, if at all. I finally found my voice. “I didn’t expect to see you here, aren’t you meant to be at work?”. “I’m running extremely late this morning. Last night was terrible. I couldn’t sleep. I was hoping we’d still keep in touch, but I haven’t heard a word from you in weeks. How’re you doing?” .“I’m good, extremely busy. I’m going back to New Orleans at the end of the week, so you probably won’t see me for a lot longer. I’ve been meaning to ask you something”. “Anything,” he responds. “Did anyone have an influence on our breakup, or was it a decision you made on your own?”. “I don’t think we should go down this road, Ali. It was a decision I made on my own. I’ve been mulling over whether I should end things for weeks. I just don’t think we are as compatible as we thought we were. Anyway, let me leave you to it”. He goes in for a hug but decides against it, heading out the same way he came.” All that’s running through my head is weeks. He’s been wanting to break up with me for weeks. I ordered my usual meal, a hot caramel coffee and two chocolate-covered doughnuts. Once I pay, I take a seat and wait for my order to be completed. Outside, the weather seems to be changing, despite my umbrella being with me. I hope the rain has the courtesy of waiting for me to get home before it comes. Everything here reminds me of how alone I am. My name is called by the server and I pick up my breakfast. As I left the shop, the rain began to fall. Slowly but surely father's offer, if I should even call it an offer, and I’ve decided a new start is just what I need. I’ll go back to New Orleans and give myself two weeks to decide whether to continue staying here in New York or to move elsewhere and start again. My walk home is dull but hopeful. I just pray that whatever my Dad needs to discuss isn’t going to disrupt the plans I’ll make for myself.