Ruin Me Gently

Chapter Twelve

Zain POV

I'm f*ck*ng awful, I know I am. Scarlet runs off so f*ck*ng quickly, like she's partly grateful that Liam interrupted us and partly mortified.

I thought she was f*ck*ng joking, she wasn't and now I feel like the jerk for refusing. As her friend, I would give her everything, but the one thing she wants, and needs, I can't f*ck*ng give her.

"You good?" Liam sits.

I nod, rubbing my hands over my face like it might scrub away the mess I just helped make.

“What’s up? You look wrecked. Did you two fall out again?”

“That sh*t would be easier,” I mutter, slouching back into the couch.

Liam waits, not pushing, just letting me get there at my own pace.

I blow out a breath and finally look at him. “She asked me to take her virginity.”

Liam blinks at me, processing that, but to his credit, he doesn’t react like a d*ck. He just leans back, arms folding across his chest, thinking.

“And?” he asks carefully.

“And I said no,” I mutter. “Obviously. I’m gay, Liam. I can’t fake that sh*t. She knows that. But she still asked, and f*ck, she looked so serious.”

Liam hums under his breath, slow and thoughtful.

“It gets better,” I add with a bitter laugh. “When I said I couldn’t, she suggested you be there too. Said she feels safe with both of us.”

Liam’s brows shoot up, and for a second, he just stares at me.

“She suggested...” he trails off, shaking his head like he can’t quite believe it. “She wants both of us there?”

“Not like a threesome,” I say quickly, needing to make that clear. “More like... support. She thinks if you’re there, I’ll be able to... I don’t know, function better.” I run my hand through my hair again, tugging at the strands, hating how torn I feel.

“I want to help her, Liam. I really f*ck*ng do. She’s my best friend. She’s been there for me through every shitty thing that’s ever happened. But this? I don’t know if I can give her this.”

Liam sits there quietly, thinking. Then he shrugs, casual in that way that always makes me nervous, and says, “I’d agree to it.”

I stare at him, completely thrown. “You what?”

He smiles a little, like he expected my reaction. “I would,” he says again, calm, steady. “I get it, Zain. She’s been there for you through everything. Before you even told anyone you were gay, she was there. When you were scared and confused, she was the one who had your back. She was there after you came out, when people talked sh*t behind your back, when you doubted yourself. Every ugly moment, every first. She never once asked for anything.”

I swallow hard, guilt knotting itself tighter in my chest.

“And she was there when you slept with a guy for the first time too,” Liam continues, his voice softer now. “You don’t remember, but she sat on the other side of the door all night. She waited just in case you needed her.”

I close my eyes, my throat thick. I do remember, in flashes. That weird calm that settled over me because I knew she was nearby, even if I never called out for her.

“She’s done everything for you without you even having to ask,” Liam says. “So now she’s asking. Just once.”

I shake my head, opening my eyes to look at him. “I can’t, Liam. I don’t feel that way. When I look at her, I don’t... it’s not there. That spark. That pull. I love her, but not like that.”

“I know,” Liam says easily. “She knows too. But if you decide to try, if you think there’s even the smallest chance you can do it to help her, I’ll be there. I’ll support you. We’ll do it right. And if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t. At least you tried.”

He shrugs again, simple and sure, like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Like giving someone this piece of yourself, even if it isn’t perfect, even if it isn’t easy, is just what you do when you love them, even if it hurts a little. Even if it never really fits right.

I sit there, staring at the floor like it might give me answers I don’t have. Liam doesn’t push. He just waits, giving me the space to catch up to my own head.

Finally, I let out a breath that feels like it carries my whole body with it. “I need to think about it,” I say, my voice rough.

Liam nods like he already expected that. He slides closer, wrapping his arms around me, pulling me into his chest in that easy, grounding way he does when he knows I’m about two seconds from unraveling.

“You’re a great friend to her, Zain,” he says softly against my hair. “And she’s a great friend to you. No matter what you decide, that doesn’t change.”

I press my forehead into his shoulder and close my eyes for a second, letting myself just breathe. The weight in my chest doesn’t lift, but it shifts, settling deeper instead of pressing down.

When we finally pull apart, we both know it’s time to crash. The house is silent now, the energy from earlier burned out and faded into the walls.

We lock up, kill the lights, and head to bed without another word. Liam presses a soft kiss to my forehead, his hand lingering against my cheek for a second before he pulls me toward our room.

I follow him silently, the weight in my chest growing heavier with every step. We climb into bed together, the familiar comfort of him at my side doing little to settle the storm inside me.

Liam wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me in close, and I let him, even though my body stays tense and restless. I lie there in the dark, listening to his breathing even out as he drifts off, while my own mind refuses to give me peace.

Sleep doesn’t come. I toss and turn, staring at the ceiling, at the shadows that stretch and shift across the room. My mind won’t shut off.

I keep thinking about Scarlet. About the way she looked when she asked me, about the trust in her eyes, and the way she was willing to hand me something so fragile just because she believed in me.

I keep thinking about the weight of it, about what it would mean and whether I could do it without breaking something important between us.

The minutes drag into hours, and still, I can’t sleep. I can’t stop thinking.

I don’t know if I ever will.