Ruin Me Gently

Chapter Fourteen

Scarlet POV

“I asked him, April, and when he said no, I asked again.”

Leaning forward, she pulls the cup away from me. “And he loves you, you’re his best friend and he’s home now, worried about you. Liam is working, go home, and speak with him.”

“Would you?” I ask.

“No, because I wouldn’t ask my gay best friend to do that.” She laughs. “Lord have mercy, were you drunk?”

“I wish I had that to fall back on. Just high on sugar, coffee, hot chocolate, sweets and chocolate.”

“You can’t blame that, go home. Sort it out before Liam comes back, guarantee tomorrow he’s back to his usual self, braiding your hair and wearing your shoes.”

I laugh as that sounds exactly like Zain. “Okay, I guess it will be easier to talk to him with Liam there.”

“Yeah it will, now get home.” She smiles at me and I nod.

By the time the taxi stops outside my apartment, I’m a mess of nerves. I get out and walk toward the building, but when I reach the door to the apartment, I freeze and start pacing. My heart is hammering so loud it feels like everyone on the street can hear it.

Okay, I go in, straight in, no stopping, no hesitating. I go to him, I apologise, tell him to ignore what I said and that it was stupid. That’s it. I apologise, I tell him to forget it, and we continue on like nothing happened.

I hesitate again, staring at the door like it might open itself and drag me through. Dammit, why is this so goddamn hard?

Okay, just do it. Go in, say it, fix it, and no backing down.

I push the door open and step inside. The kitchen is empty. The living room is empty too. No signs of Zain anywhere. My heart races faster, but I don’t let myself stop. If I stop, I’ll turn around and run again.

Marching toward Zain’s room, I keep repeating the words in my head.

I’m sorry, ignore what I said. It was stupid, can we ignore it and move on?.

I’m sorry, ignore what I said. It was stupid, can we ignore it and move on?.

I’m sorry, ignore what I said. It was stupid, can we ignore it and move on?.

That's it, I keep repeating it not letting myself back down and go hide again.

I reach his door, my hand tight around the knob, forcing myself not to hesitate. Just open it, say it, and get it over with.

I swing the door open, and freeze.

Zain is there, f*ck*ng Liam, hard and fast, the air thick with heavy breathing and low, desperate sounds. Liam is flat on his back, Zain straddling him, moving like he can’t get enough.

For a second, I just stand there, my mind blank, my body refusing to work.

Liam freezes mid groan when he sees me, then Zain glances over and sees me. His mouth parts slightly, like he’s about to say something, but I don’t wait.

I turn, running for my bedroom, but in my panic, I leave their door wide open behind me.

“Stay there, we’re finishing what you started, Bear.” Zain's words are a breathy groan.

I slam my bedroom door shut, pressing my back against it, heart pounding so loud it hurts. Through the door, I can hear everything now.

I squeeze my eyes shut, willing myself to disappear, but it’s no use. Because I left the door open, and now I can hear everything. Every groan, every broken sound, every desperate movement. And there’s nowhere to hide from any of it.

Grabbing my phone out of my pocket, I reach for my headphones but groan when I realise they are in the bag, the bag I dropped when I walked into the apartment and I’m not ready to go back out there.

The sounds are loud enough in here. Instead, I turn on music and open a book on my phone. I try to focus on reading, but all I can hear is them. I don’t think they realised I left the door open.

It feels like hours before the noise stops, before the apartment finally goes quiet. Now, I want to run again. I had built up the courage to say it and face Zain, and now all that courage is gone.

As I consider running again, there’s a knock.

“Scar?”

Opening my mouth, I close it again. No, I need to say it. “It’s fine, I just came to apologise and tell you to ignore what I said, it was stupid.”

He groans quietly. “I’m coming in.”

“No, I’m naked,” the words come out fast, but he steps in and stares at me.

“One, you never stop me coming in when you’re naked. Two, you’re more dressed than me right now,” he laughs, and I shrug.

“I panicked.” It’s the truth.

He sits beside me on the bed, and that awkward silence comes back.

“I meant it, just pretend I never asked. It was stupid,” I whisper.

“Scar, I can’t just ignore what you said.”

Panic claws at me, and I try to change the conversation. “I thought Liam would be at work.”

He laughs. “He’s working tonight, so he’s leaving soon. You’re not changing the conversation.”

Dammit. That failed. “We don’t need to, as I said, forget I asked.”

“I’ll agree,” he whispers, and I turn to stare at him. “I’ve no idea if I can, if it will work. I’ve thought about it, I’ve spoken to Liam over and over, and I will.”

Sh*t. If I thought I wanted to hide before, that’s nothing. Now I want to hide because what do I even say? Thanks for agreeing to f*ck me and take my virginity?

“You don’t have to,” I say weakly.

“No, I don’t. But I want to. I was shocked at first, I didn’t expect it at all. I wasn’t angry at you though.”

His words have me relax.

“The plan is we talk, I talk with Liam, and all three of us talk together. You though, have to do something before.”

My body goes cold.

“Use some of the toys, even if it’s just the cl*t sucker, use something, then you won’t be so anxious over it.”

I nod slowly, it’s the least I can do.

“How was April?” His question throws me for a moment, but then I realise he’s changing the subject so I don’t feel so d*mn awkward. Lying here, he cuddles me and we talk, and at some point I fall asleep in his arms.