Chase & Dawn

“Here.” I handed the paper to Jackson and he received it with a wide grin. “Thank goodness,” he exclaimed, “You are a lifesaver, Dawn.” I rolled my eyes and scanned his handsome face. My gaze often fell on his light blue eyes. I just loved how they turned a shade darker whenever something made him glad. Jackson studied the paper I had just given him. “How can you answer all these problems in less than an hour? I can barely manage one math problem and there is even no guarantee that it's correct.” “You don't have to flatter me, Jax,” I dismissed him after I saw Mr. Peters approaching. “Gotta go. I still have to collect the class' biology assignment.” I turned my heel and was about to go back into the room when Jackson interrupted me, messing with my newly-made braids. “Thank you! I owe you a coffee date! Meet you at Mix n' Brew after class!” he yelled, sprinting across the hallway. “What the hell, Jax!” I shouted back, smoothing my braids. “Watch your language, Morris.” Mr. Peters's wrinkled face grew sour after hearing my curse. I muttered a quick apology and followed the old man inside the room. Mr. Peters started writing on the board as I collected my classmates' assignments. I did not know why I was assigned for this task— was it because I often aced his quizzes? “Your paper, Badger. You too, Jonathan—” “Goddamnit, Dawn. Could you go get the others first?” Badger cut me off. I scowled at the bent-down head of the tall lad as he hurriedly copied his seatmate's answers. We're on this again. “I swear if you're not done after I go back to this row, I'm gonna call you out for cheating.” “Blah blah,” he mocked. I moved to the next row and resumed collecting. As I moved forward, Katy deliberately raised her paper and sighed. “Hurry, Morris. My arm is about to disconnect from my body.” Snickering, I approached her and snatched the paper from her manicured fingers. “No one asked you to wave your bio assignment like it's some national treasure, Clarkson.” Katy flipped her hair in an attempt to intimidate me. Only, it did not. She looked like a trying-hard mean girl instead. “Oh, I'm just so excited to submit it, knowing that I will get the highest score.” This girl was threatened, and I was barely even trying. I departed Katy's row and started pacing back to the one I skipped. Badger was not close to finishing the assignment. “What the hell, Dawn. It wasn't even one minute since you left here.” This scenario has become a cliche that it did not infuriate me that much. “How is it that you have time for all sorts of leisure and not finish a ten-item assignment?” “Jonathan, what is this? Meta- is this a b or a d?” Badger asked his seatmate, ignoring me. “Just copy whatever the hell's in there,” Jonathan replied. The boy did not seem to know what he has written as well. “But your penmanship is incomprehensible!” Badger snapped. I almost had a heart attack when I heard Mr. Peter's rumbling voice. “What's taking the papers long, Morris?” Smacking Badger's hand, I whispered, “That's metaphase, you dumbass. A big damn p, not b nor d!” For the first time since I approached him, Chase Badger flung his head up to meet my gaze. “You could have coached me right at the start.” “Just write down the damn word,” I hissed, looking back and forth to him and our bio teacher. I did not wait for Badger to hand me the paper. I grabbed it from the desk the moment he wrote down the word metaphase and marched to Mr. Peters' table. My newly bought Converse produced a squeak as I halted. “Sit down quickly. I'll start the class now,” Mr. Peters commanded grumpily after I handed him the papers. Can't he do a simple thank you? I turned around and rolled my eyes as I made my way back to my seat. Mr. Peters commenced our biology class and I listened half-heartedly. I never should have done an advanced study last night. I can't pay my whole attention to the class when I already knew the lessons like the back of my hand. Mr. Peters was not halfway through his lecture when my mind drifted off elsewhere. I thought about Jackson and the way he smiled at me whenever I lent him a hand on his studies. We were in the same year, just on different sections, so I helped him out a lot because we share the same lessons. It was those bright smiles of him that made me wish he will have a hard time answering his assignments. I liked the idea of Jackson needing me, as stupid as it may sound. The day dragged slower as I anticipated meeting Jackson after class. He asked me out. Again. Did he ask me out or was it only his way of thanking me? But he said it's a coffee date this time, not just a simple “Let's go grab some snacks, Dawn,” as he usually said. “Earth to Dawn. Wow, so even geniuses like her spaces out.” Frowning, I looked behind me and noticed that everyone else was preparing to leave the room. I was too preoccupied to notice that our last subject had just ended. Addressing his mockery, I replied. “Oh, I space out a lot. Too much that I have encountered at least a hundred aliens that have the same brain cells as yours.” I got used to Badger giving me a headache during biology class. I always have to wait for him to finish and today was the closest thing to us getting caught by good old Mr. Peters. Good thing our bio teacher has poor vision even in his pair of glasses. Badger started walking after Jonathan. He turned his head toward my direction and said, “Thanks for the metaphase, Aurora.” Rolling my eyes at him, I threw my things into my backpack. That is what you call a simple thank you. I helped Badger the same way I helped Jackson, but the former did not invite me for a coffee date. Maybe Jackson was asking me out, after all. I walked out of the room with a giddy feeling. I knew it was stupid to assume things before they can even happen but it's hard not to. I've known Jackson since middle school and he's always given me enough motives to make me think ahead about us. He liked me, I can't be mistaken. And I like him. “Dawny!” A pair of arms enveloped my neck from behind, followed by the heaviness of my assailant as she lifted her feet off the ground. I coughed and immediately nudged her stomach, causing her to let me go. “What the hell, Lory!” Lory, with her short hair and side bangs, tilted her head back as she struggled for another fit of laughter. “Too many openings, Dawny. I can ambush you effortlessly.” I snorted and looked frustratingly at my now messed-up hair. “Look what you just did.” Disregarding my irritation, Lory crossed her arms. “Where are you going? I thought we'd have a study session tonight at my house.” Shoot. I forgot I promised to help her review for her upcoming long quiz in calc. “Um, yeah, of course! I'll go straight to your house after. . .” I trailed off. “After your coffee date with Mr. Jack-ass?” Lory finished, sighing rather dramatically. “You're still entertaining that guy?” Lory was my best friend. I've known her longer than Jackson. I did not know what was her reason but she has this bad blood toward him. Jackson did not seem to feel the same way but I can sense his discomfort when the three of us were together. “He's nice, Lory. Why won't you give him a chance?” I implored. I have been trying to make them get along with each other but it's futile. Lory hated him so much. “He's using you, Dawn,” she said seriously. “Can't you see how he's manipulating you? He kept asking for your assistance even on things he can personally accomplish.” I frowned. “That's because he's a friend,” I defended, the last word sounding bitter against my throat. “And I have no problem with him asking for my help. Even if it's not Jackson, you know I always give a hand when someone asks help from me.” “No, his case is different. He's taking advantage of you! Oh, Jackson's so good on it, if you'd ask me. Constantly treating you snacks and whatnot to neutralize his taking advantage of you—if that's not called manipulation in your vocabulary, then you're not as smart as I think you are.” Lory was known for her tactlessness, but I never had a problem dealing with it, not until now. “For you to call me a pushover is by far the most insulting thing I've heard from you!” Numerous students who were wandering the hallway shortly turned their heads to watch the argument. Lory's face turned red as she regarded me. “I didn't say such a word!” “You don't have to say the word pushover to make me feel that you consider me as one.” “Oh, come on, Dawn! I'm just trying to knock some sense in you! You've never been this easy to anyone before!” “Oh, yeah!” I matched her outburst. “I've never been this easy to anyone before. Except for you.” Lory's face twitched and I fear that I have gone overboard. “Wow, so now I'm the manipulator?” “I don't know,” I answered her dryly. “Because I looked at everyone I've helped the same way. If Jackson is a manipulator in your vocabulary, I'm afraid you two are synonymous.” You only hate Jackson because I have extended my availability to him, Lory. You are only like this because you're no longer the only person who has limitless access to me. “I'll go now,” I said out of courtesy. “Just message me tonight if you still need my service.” I hated to leave Lory that way but I was too heated up with our argument. As I saw Jackson on the gate side waiting for me, Lory's words kept nagging me. I was bothered by the harsh words I'd said to her, too. Have I crossed the line? The five-minute walk to Mix n' Brew was not as good as I expected. All the excitement I felt about the coffee date vanished and I knew Jackson noticed it, too, when he looked at me seriously. “Something's bothering you,” he finally let out the moment we stopped on the coffee shop's porch. Jackson guided me inside, placing his hand on the small of my back. “It's Lory,” I told him as we sat on our usual spot beside the glass wall. Putting my hands on the wooden table, I looked outside and let my gaze drift from one passing car to another. Maybe I did go overboard. Lory and I have fought countless times but today was by far the worst. If there was one thing I learned from all of our fights, it's that I won't last a day without speaking to Lory. Jackson pulled me out from my tormenting thoughts by grabbing my hands, covering them with his. “If it's another quarrel, I'm sure you two will come around. You always do.” I smiled and let Jackson divert my mind from what's bothering me. I ordered my regular affogato and croissants while Jackson tried the new frappe, matching it with blueberry cheesecake. My mood was immediately lit up when the food arrived and Jackson's cheerful talking kept me from thinking about my fight with Lory. Maybe I'd just go straight to her house and apologize. The coffee date was not exactly the kind of coffee date I was expecting. No confessions, nor any indication of Jackson confessing his feelings on me. It went too smoothly that I started thinking about Lory's thoughts. What if he's doing this because he's only using me? But just because today did not go as I anticipated did not mean Jackson's intentions were bad, so I let go of the idea and thought that maybe, he was biding his time. Or maybe I'm merely a friend to him. It did not matter if that was the case. I would rather be a friend of him than be a stupid factory. Jackson walked me home despite my declination. We live in the cul-de-sac of Mapletown, my house just three blocks away from his. Lory's house, on the other hand, was two blocks away from mine and when I arrived at our front porch, the urge to go straight to Lory's grew stronger. “Bye, Dawn. See ya tomorrow!” Jackson bid me goodbye as he sauntered back to the cobblestoned street. I waved my hand and shouted goodbye before opening the door. The first thing that reached my line of vision was my Mom, fuming, her face an ugly shade of crimson. She was standing next to the window, her head turning to the doorway as I threw it open. “So you're dating that bastard!” mom shrieked. Her sudden eruption made me stop right at the moment. “Why that good-for-nothing boy, Dawn?” “What the hell are you talking about?” I muttered, still digesting her reaction. Mom stomped toward me and I could have sworn she was a raging bull. When she grabbed my shoulders and violently shook them, I knew I was the red flag. What have I done? “Don't 'What the hell ' me, Dawn Rachel! Someone told me you're going out with that Jackson guy. I didn't believe it at first, not until I saw him walking side by side with my daughter!” I got rid of her grasp and tugged the straps of my backpack, suppressing my anger. “I am not going out with Jackson, Mom, but even if I did, am I not allowed to date someone?” “Of course you are allowed to date someone, but not that kind of guy.” That. She did not have to explain it further for me to get her point. I wanted to show her my dismay but I can't fight with her right now. “Mom, I am not dating Jackson,” I told her so that I could go away. “Whether you're dating him or not does not change the fact that you are spending your time with him. Tell me, Dawn. Are you always with that guy at school? Is that why your grades dropped two points?” Her mentioning my grades pulled the safety pin. “Seriously?” I asked, my voice almost resounding my Mom's outburst earlier. “You're making a fuss about that goddamn two points?” Mom's face grew redder and I realized where I got my anger issues. “Two points!” she exclaimed. “But if you keep wasting your time on that worthless guy, god knows what will happen to your studies!” Footsteps echoed above. In less than a minute, I saw Stacy descending the stairs two steps at a time. “What's going on?” My older sister rushed to Mom's side, massaging her back. “Tone down your voice, Mom. What did I tell you about dealing the problem with anger will only make it worse?” “You sure didn't make it sound like I'm the problem,” I mumbled. “How can I calm down? Your sister is going out with some. . . with some scumbag! You know that Jackson guy, the one whose father used to be a drinking buddy with your another-good-for-nothing father?” “Jackson?” Stacy reiterated, looking at me for confirmation. “I already told her that I am not dating him!” “Dawn said she's not dating Jackson, Mom. Calm down already.” But Mom was far from calming down. Shaking her head, she started walking back and forth with Stacy tailing her in an attempt to make her settle. “You know I don't restrict both of you from anything else. I only asked you one thing.” I ran out of words to say just to calm my mother down. I knew it was the hysteria that's getting the best of her right now. Defending myself would be useless. I did not even know why I have to defend myself. “You can't talk to that guy again. Do you hear me, Dawn?” “What—” Stacy cut me off by shaking her head. I did not pursue my initial reaction and bit my lower lip instead. “Do you hear me, Dawn?” Mom's voice pierced my ears. I had to close my eyes so that I could nod at her. “I need your voice, Dawn Rachel. Do you get me?” Mom demanded. “Yes,” I swiftly obliged. After hearing me, Mom reclined to the couch and massaged her temples. Stacy looked back and forth between me and Mom. When I felt like they were both satisfied with my resolution, I ascended with a kind of exhaustion I never felt before. When the door behind me shut, the weariness felt more alive. I fished my black journal from the bag and headed to the window sill. Sitting in a tucking position, I leaned my head against the cold glass window and stared at nothingness, clutching the journal against my chest. Of course, I knew about Jackson's drunkard father. His father was kind of the reason why Jackson and I knew each other. He used to go here during middle school to fetch his father who was drinking with Dad at the back porch. Reminiscing those days did not help me soothe the burning in my chest, for I was reminded of the reason why Mom was overprotective about us when it came to guys who drank. Mom and Dad got separated when I was barely thirteen. My father's alcoholism got worse each time until Mom couldn't endure him, so she decided to file a divorce. Thirteen was still a young age for me to recall what I felt when Dad stepped out of our house for good. I remembered an alcoholic father, not one who takes his kids to school. All I could visualize when I thought of Dad were empty bottles, broken and smashed all over the backyard. Now that I was seventeen, the bottles of liquor became coffins and chrysanthemums. The emptiness of losing a father only hit me after we heard of his demise nine months after he left home. It was alright not having a father until we realized we lost him for good. Lory did not call even after I skipped dinner. I remained on the window sill, only getting up to grab some Snickers I kept in my drawer. Munching the chocolate bar, I shifted into a squat and laid down the journal on my lap. The street outside became less and less noisy as I started writing. I hated Lory for calling me a pushover. Instead, I wrote: I was in kindergarten at that time. Stacy and I went on the street side to watch the parade of students from Mapletown High. It was their homecoming, apparently (I can barely recall it). I was wearing my favorite Little Mermaid T-shirt and a girl about my age poked my arm and said, “Hey, we're a match!” She's wearing the same shirt. She told me her name—Loriel—but she said she hated it, so I made her a nickname: Lory. To match her new nickname, she started calling me Dawny. Since then, we're a match in almost everything... I stopped writing and proceeded to the next page. I thought back to my earlier fight with Mom and it only made me feel worse. I hated Mom for making me feel like I couldn't be trusted. Instead, I wrote: When Dad left home, Mom has to work hard to raise us. I felt sorry that she has to return home late, exhausted, so I woke up before her every morning to make breakfast. That way, Mom has one less chore to do. Since then, Mom entrusted breakfast to me because it turned out Stacy doesn't have a knack for cooking... I stayed up till ten in the evening, waiting for Lory's call. She did not call, though. Neither Mom nor my older sister attempted to make me eat dinner, too. My forehead felt numb against the cold window as I looked out over the lonely street, waiting for the last car to pass by. When the white Mercedes-Benz car of Mr. Paterson pulled over the side of his house, I knew there was nothing else to wait for tonight.