The illusion

The time I first saw him, I thought I was hallucinating him but- no I wasn’t. He came up to my and inquired if I could see him - and I replied ‘yes’ as He was visible to my eye. He was a a light, and glows shadow or should I call him the type of image water reflects? He looked about 4 years older than me. His face was decorated with glistening doe eyes and a big smile was plastered across his face defining his side-dimple. I inquired about himself and where he is from, but it seemed he couldn’t remember who he was or where he is from. I wondered how he became a lost soul..... surprisingly he seemed to remember the cause of his death. Intrigued by this information I investigated more deeper. It seems that he had died from severe brain tumor. I didn’t understand anything he said at that time, because I was just eight years old. He also told me that his mother was the only family he had left, as his parents divorced when he was just eight. I wish he could’ve lived a longer happy life with his mom, even now I just wish I could see him. I still can’t seem to forgot him, he was someone I could trust blindly with my life and soul. He also admitted that he spent a few days with his mom after he passed away, but unfit she couldn’t see him. Soon after, I figured I had to name him as it would be hard for me to address him in the near future. So with his permission I decided to name him Rayvon. Soon enough he and I became best friends. It’s been 17 years now, and he’s stopped appearing ever since the night of my 18th birthday. I miss him dearly, and I wish he was still with me. But that being said I also want him to reincarnate and have a bright life. Alas I wish him all the best in life, he’ll always be in my prayers …I wonder if he’d remember me…? Well that’s impossible ⋆ My mind was buzzing with hundreds of questions. I still wonder if he is watching me, I still wonder.... It was late at night, around 8:45 and I was walking to the subway station. It took about twenty minutes for me to reach the station. I entered and sat on the bench, my shoulder bumped into someone elses shoulder. I looked at the guy sitting next to me and apologised. His presence felt oddly familiar, and then he called out to me “Zilen..?“ Huh?.. “umm.. you’re Z-zilen r-right?” he inquired leaving me stunned and unable to form words. His question left me startled, how in the world does he know my name? Oh my head is so messed up! “h-huh?” I asked him, trying to escape from my jumbled thoughts. “how did you know my name?” I asked him finally, building up my courage finally. I looked up to meet his eyes. His eyes were glistening with a familiar warmth - the dimples, the birthmarks, those eyes.......it can't be him can it? It cant be him? There's no way? Or is there a way? "I- you don't.........you don't remember me....?" He asked his smile faltering and his eyes growing with saddness At that moment the train arrived, startling the both of us... suprisingly I felt a surge of safety when I was close to him. The thought of leaving, reluctantly occured to me "are you by any chance? Don't think I'm crazy alright?" I asked looking into his eyes. He nodded his head eagerly motioning for me to go ahead and ask. So I seized the opportunity and bombarded him with my doubt. "Are you.....? R-Rayvon....?" My heart was thumping in my chest, refusing to calm down. I was panicking unable to think about anything else other than this. The train was about to leave but u couldn't care less or more. I just hope I did not embarrass myself. What if he laughs to my face and says this is all a joke, and I'm being casted live on the television or some of that sort!? There's no way or is there? I openly sighed, impatiently fidgeting with my fingers. "ofcourse it is!" He said smiling brightly I couldn't feel the beating of my heart in my chest. It was almost as if it had stopped. His smile of relief brought joy to me. And a wave of relief washed over me. I let out a heavy sigh of relief, realizing that I've been holding my breath in subconsciously. I couldn't or register what was going on. Did a shooting star pass when I wished for him? Or is my lack of sleep playing tricks on me? But there's no way that's possible "It's really you?" I asked in disbelief as tears pricked my eyes threatening to fall. But I couldn't cry, he hated it when I cried. Plus I don't want look weak and emotional Infront of anyone, especially him. He sighed softly and pulled me into a warm embrace. Patting my head comfortingly as he cooed words of comfort in to my ears. I hugged him back tightly, refusing to let him go. And then I was years old when I realized, that I've fallen head over heels for the guy I once thought was my hallucination. There's nothing in this world that I want more than him. I know it cliche but the truth must be told. I love him as cringe as that sounds I really do love him. "Why didn't you come see me earlier? If you were no more a soul?" I asked clinging onto him. I hate it when I act weak and childish but I'm overwhelmed with a rollercoaster of emotions. He let out a deep sigh and held me close to him. "I'm sorry love? Shall we go home it's getting late" he said releasing me from the hug and seizing my hand in a soft hold. I nod and follow him as he escorted me into the train. Weird. Why did the train wait for us? Unusual but I'm going to put that aside and focus on him and only him. I wonder if he likes me too? By the looks of it, it seems like he likes me. But one can't be sure with simple gestures of comfort, right?