Tainted Lies

2

The drama never ends. It’s amazing how far we’ve come, how long it’s been, and how strong we’re holding up. It makes it hard to remember the past, sometimes. I doubt the past will ever stop popping its ugly head in my life and that sucks. But these knuckle brains are the best things that ever happened to me and they remind me each day of the things to stay alive for. Without the constant reminders, it’s hard to believe that once upon a time, I was hell’s permanent resident.

Then now? Now was better indeed, much better than I ever thought it to be, and each time I stare at my friends, he runs through my mind. We never really talked and it pricks me every time. I mean he could just walk up to me and say the two letters, one word, that ends people with kids; hi. Why am I so drawn to him? The answer I do not know. There's just something about him. Maybe it’s his golden brown eyes, or how his beards just have me wanting to run my fingers through them, or it’s his masculine figure, or it’s his darkish brown hair that has the perfect curls, or his smile, or the curiosity my bones feel when I see him, whatever it is, it's just interesting. And regardless of what the whole company says about him or the stories I’ve heard about him, I enjoy it, the good painful ache to know him.

"Are you dead?"Max asks shaking me back to life.

"Huh... yeah? What...I'm here" I say in a little shock.

"You've been gone for the past five minutes, you okay" he asked further.

"Yeah, I am, just thinking. I'm here now. What’s up" I ask, noticing Enzo wasn't sitting on his table anymore. Didn't even notice when he left.

"So, Liv, are you still coming to my house to start GOT?" Trish ask.

"Wait! She hasn't watched GOT?" Dom asks looking surprised.

"Yup," Kenzy answers.

"Who would’ve known" Dom says.

"Why’s that Dom?" I ask looking all interested.

"You know, because you're like the biggest movie freak I've seen and it’s GOT we are talking about" he explains.

"Well my apologies dear loyal fan, for this great disappointment, but I'm just starting," I say with a British accent, obviously feeling great about it.

"Try beating my record, watch five seasons in five days," Max says feeling he's achieved a lot by watching five seasons in five days. But I'll let him wallow in his 'achievement'.

"Do you have a life?"I ask playfully

"Oh the best dear Oly, the very best" Max says with a wink.

"Come on guys. What are we doing for the holidays?" Drew asks, getting everybody's attention.

"Nothing, movies, swim, dates, blah blah blah. The usual, no one’s traveling, right?" Ricky answered.

"Yeah, and it's Oly’s birthday" Daniel reminds me, I wish he didn’t.

"True, so what do you want to do Your Royal Highness?" Dom asks.

"Nothing" I answer with no enthusiasm, as always.

"Come on, you've got to do something!!" Kenzy begs.

"I wish I could Kenzy, but you know I can't," I say with my head down as memories flash through my thoughts. I hated this feeling, so much.

"It’s fine, we’ll just stay at Max’s house and watch something,” Trish says, more as a console.

I know they mean the best, but birthdays freak me out, just mine though. The birthdays I had were the worst and were days I wish I never lived. I can’t stop them from wanting a party. I mean, that's what friends do.