New Year's miracle |18+

Chapter Seven

*****

Flashback

"You're a tempting devil, Hank," Jill had remarked with a devastated reproach.

For the first time that day, I addressed him as "you", forgetting about the officiousness, which I tried to keep him at a distance.

Only this polite attitude of hers didn't work a fig. Both were drawn to each other with terrible force. Even her fiance began to notice this. He frowned at Hank in the waiting room when he came to the next "consultation" by appointment. But that didn't bother him either... f**k, I can't back down and that's it!

"I just want to spend time with you," Hank brushed off her accusations, already realizing from Jill's eyes that he had won.

At least, regarding the evening together.

"It doesn't mean anything and doesn't oblige me to anything," the girl said harshly, still not touching the tickets lying on the table. The lawyer is a good one, and in life I coordinated all the nuances in advance.

"It's nothing," he agreed firmly. "Just a performance. Hank reached out, caught her palm, gently but firmly squeezed her thin fingers, feeling her tremble and tremble. Not fear, but the same excitement and attempts to cope with the cravings that both twisted from the first meeting. "That means a lot, Jilly," he remarked then, and pressed his lips to the inside of his wrist.

For the first time, I allowed myself to be touched. It struck him like a lightning bolt. Perspiration on the back of the head. And a feverish pulse pounding under the skin. Caught it.

A bad and romantic gesture to the point of idiocy, it would seem. It's like something out of a medieval novel... And he has a hot wave of bursting desire for her all over his body, an invincible attraction... And in Jill's body, only through touching hands, fingertips, lips – she felt the same attraction, a sensual tremor, absorbing desire for him from her side...

She said nothing. For the first time, I did not deny it.

Flashback end

*****

At that moment, they didn't discuss anything else. But she went to the performance with him.

Fucked up, of course. If Hank knew what he signed up for, it would be better if he called her for some kind of "eco"-march, by God! I would have organized it myself, after all!

The troupe of traditional Japanese art performed. Not about him at all. From the word "absolutely". He has never understood this country and its entire culture. Like people from another planet. Although they use a good technique, they can't take it away. But I don't really like Japanese cars. The "Germans" were somehow closer to him here.

But Jill didn't just like the performance, she was delighted, it was felt. Therefore, he decided that the evening was worth his torment anyway. For her sake, it was being started.

And then they sat in the restaurant until midnight, until they were told that the institution was closing. They talked, laughed, discussed this performance, and had completely different impressions of it. He did not dissemble, he said, as it is. She told how she studied law, dropping out of psychology after the first year, where she initially enrolled. Why couldn't I decide on my specialty right away, and how I wanted to protect the rights of those who, by definition, are humiliated by everyone in their society. About her family, who also went through a divorce when Jill was thirteen. About the fact that she had already buried her father.

And Hank talked a lot, although he wasn't very talkative at all, only it was somehow easy for her. Like with Douglas, but the opposite. However, there was no need to say anything at all, their friendship was not affected by the past. And with Jill, it seemed, you could talk about anything. And certainly he will not laugh, will not consider it wild or strange, neither his story about his own childhood, nor vague attempts to explain why it is so important to achieve success, not even to someone specific, but to prove to life itself that he is capable of this, of success. A simple child from a very disadvantaged area of the city. And honestly.

They talked that night until five in the morning. They were sitting in his car, in a not new and not the most chic BMW model, which, thanks to a lucky chance, he thought of filling up to the eyeballs before that, otherwise they would have died when they were "asked" from the restaurant, but they could not disperse. We bought coffee on the way in a street trailer, and so we "hung out", continuing to chat, before reaching her house, where Hank promised to take Jill after the performance. More precisely, he delivered it to the address, but it was already in the morning.

And the next day she broke up with her fiance.

*****

Flashback

Hank didn't push or push. I didn't expect such a decision, to tell the truth. I thought I'd have to withstand another siege. However, it's not that Jill gave up on him right away. Yeah, his lips rolled out, of course. But I was able to surprise...

"I am for sincerity. And I don't want to lie or cheat. It's not mine, Hank. I like you. More than an engaged woman should have liked. You evoke in me those emotions and feelings that you should not have caused. Which means it's not fair to deceive Mark. Apparently, we were too hasty with him and misjudged the depth of feelings. Anyway, I am. But that doesn't mean I'm ready...

"Come to us, to Phoenix!" he interrupted Jill, not letting her finish, so that she wouldn't really cling to the nuances of what she was ready for and what she wasn't. "We need a very intelligent lawyer on a permanent basis." I wanted to be around him! And I already knew that the father of her ex-fiance was in charge of this office. There were doubts that everything would be fine with Jill's work now. And they definitely need a lawyer in the state. I didn't lie.

And she was confused. He had achieved his goal.

"I have a good salary here, Hank..."

"I'll give you a share in the company," he said decisively, forgetting that it would have to be agreed with Douglas. I had no doubt that my friend would understand. I've already noticed that there's something unusual about Hank. Women had never clung to him like Jill.

"I see a goal - I don't see obstacles," it was just about him at that moment.

"Wow. Seriously. Are you sure?" asked Jill doubtfully.

But he saw in her gaze a laughing interest, and what flatters such attention. She was having fun and easy with him, she confessed to him at that performance.

"Even if I accept your job offer, it also does not oblige me to a personal relationship, okay?" but still did not deviate from her practice of stipulating everything in advance. "And it won't affect our professional cooperation if it doesn't work out. Ready for this?" Jill then looked searchingly and attentively, probably not even noticing how she was biting her lip.

"Ready..."

Flashback end

*****

I lied, as it turned out.

He wasn't ready for a damn thing. And she, too. To nothing: neither to the success that you have achieved; nor to the fact that life sometimes arranges trials, and you are not able to maintain common sense; nor to the fact that the most important thing can begin to seem ordinary...

It is impossible to prepare sometimes, as it turned out, neither for your own stupidity, nor for wild pain, nor, to my shame, for offending the dearest and closest person.

* * * * *

The cycle of cooking a double portion of Americano, as always, Jill loved, is over. Hank took the cup off the stand, put the second one to himself, turned on the "double espresso" mode. And carefully, so as not to spoil the dense velvety foam in her cup, he stirred the drink.

Damn, I didn't forget anything! And I still want to take care of her to such an extent that now this opportunity to make a blonde a cup of coffee seems like a privilege! But after all, he deprived himself of everything.

Putting aside the past, Hank left his coffee to prepare while he slowly carried Jill's cup. With an injured leg and hands, it was not so easy to carry a drink without splashing and shaking this damn foam which she loved so much. But he honestly tried. With all my might. It was a small thing. Hank knew that. And it doesn't solve anything.

But if he came to any conclusions for tonight, when the pain got to him and he, having swallowed painkillers, was lying with his eyes fixed on the ceiling, it was a clear decision and the realization that he had debts left behind. And large ones. It's time to stop letting your pride whine and snap, which has no right to a fig, if you objectively think about it. And injuries are all, not an excuse. Also to blame himself.

And in the hospital, then he growled at her because he could not accept this unselfishness and willingness to help, despite the offense inflicted. For him, her help, like a backhand, was perceived then, worse than if she had actually hit him. I felt like the last scum. And he was angry from impotence, from his own mistakes, from his meanness against the sincerity of the woman he loved. And also from love, which he could now only do, which he strangled in himself.

To be honest, there was a mess in my head: I was trying to simultaneously understand what Douglas had done; calculate how to start compensating for it as soon as possible; over and over again I replayed in my memory how Jill hugged... That's what I couldn't get out of my brain at all, stuck with a dull needle, whining, tugging at my soul with excruciating pain.

He loved her. Still loved. No matter what. But I offended him so much that I couldn't even imagine how exactly you could ask for such a thing, and most importantly, earn forgiveness. However, after their meeting yesterday, he clearly realized that he was going to find out. And, at least, to do everything imaginable and unthinkable in order to somehow compensate the beloved woman for the pain that he caused.