Bewildered

Trying to escape this abyss of uncertainty with myself. Finding peace or something that genuinely brings joy or love. But living in a tenacious world often times makes me portray a covenant that is not inside me, but he wants to get a feeling of security or blend with others. Real eyes see real lies and realize that we live in a world of strange people that do peculiar actions and we all need help, some will accept some will decline. Mmmmmh.....forget the world he said.. I am trying to fulfill my deepest thoughts and fantasies. I'm longing for a smile, a smile that brings a ray of hope to brighten my inner self. To capture all the darkness made up of despair. We will have to settle for repentant pleasure, I'm asking the universe what is my purpose?, what is life on a whole and why do we feel so stagnant? as if our life's have been replayed and watched. Is this a new beginning, I'm even woke from before and it is almost like I am sharing my human form with another being. He is me and I is him together we make up myself; but where do we all go from here.