I can fight too

Chapter 7

I was happily sharing about my summer vacation n with Emma, my only cousin"when I heard my name being called from the other side of the room. My mother and I were invited by uncle Paul to his get together party. Since that was my first party, I was really excited and to top it off, I had my mother with me!

"Hey Carrie, I heard that you dream of becoming a lawyer someday?" my uncle Paul asked as all the other family members and other people who were there stopped what they were doing and gave all their attention to me.

I looked around and the common thing that I notice was their facial expression. They looked so confused and most of them including my cousin Emma snickering.

"That's normal," I say as I look at them and see them trying to control their laughs.

"well? is that true Carrie" my uncle repeated his question.

"yes Uncle, I want to become a lawyer when I grow up" I replied putting in all the confidence  I have in my answer.

"well... how can you do that? I mean no offense but do you know what you are even saying?"  this question is something that really gets into my nerve because every time I say that, People think that I cannot make it.

"well yeah. I have faith and I am willing to work hard for this dream" I sassed back as I look at my mother expecting her to say something on my behalf. 

Uncle Paul is the only one in our family who has a doctorate and everyone respects and takes his advice. So whatever he says, everyone thinks that it's correct.

I saw uncle Paul shaking his head and looking at me with supposedly pity eyes as he spits out the next word that almost broke me.

"well, looking at your grades and difficulty level of getting into Havard university, which I heard is your dream college, I think you better look at other options instead. " I could feel my eyes brimming with tears but I was not going to cry because I wanted to show them that I was strong and that I found to do it.

"I know but......bu... it's a challenge that's worth trying. I.....am going to try though" I master all my courage as I speak back at him and prayed for my mother to support me. To stand by me. Hell, I wished for at least one person in the room to stand up for me just this once because I knew deep down that what uncle Paul said would crush my confidence and hope.

I waited for ten seconds as I looked around trying my best to control the tears from breaking out as well as to pass a smile at my uncle who is still shaking his head and looking at me with those same pitiful eyes.

I looked at my mother, who by then was trying her best to avoid eye contact with me. Like what kind of a mother can't stand up for their own children?

"you have got lots of time to think about it kiddo. I hope that you change your mind in the future" I could hear certainty in his voice and this really agitated me. 

"But I am not giving it up without a try!" I spit back as I ran out of the room. 

I started running through the gate as I passed the confused looking gatekeeper and headed towards the right side of the street. After running two blocks from my uncle's house, I looked back because that small part of my heart and mind expected to see her mother rushing after her but there was none.

This broke my little, fragile twelve-year-old self and I couldn't hold back the tears anymore! I ran and ran until I was exhausted and finally sat beside a huge tree. I couldn't stop myself from crying harder. It really hurt knowing that I don't have my mother at my back. In fact, I couldn't even think of anyone who had my back.

"Carrie, Carrie,..... Carrie" I feel a strong grip on my elbow and a soft comforting hands on my head.

"Carrie...Wake up" I have heard that voice before but I am not so sure.

"Sneakers!"

"what happened? What are you doing in my room Ryan?" I shout back as I see him standing up from my bed looking concerned. 

What is he so concerned about?

"what happened Ryan?" I ask as I feel my patience slipping away.

"I just wanted to wake you up because the dinner is ready. When I came here, I heard you crying. I guess you were having a nightmare"

I touch my face and certainly I could feel tears trailing down my cheekbones. I always have this nightmare and every time I dream of that incident, I always end up crying. Even thinking back on that night makes my heart clench and I always feel like my heart is pierced with something.

"oh sorry that you had to see this," I whispered as I try to recollect why I am with Ryan.

"that bad huh?" he asks as he passes me a warm smile but I could see some sort of frustration in his deep green eyes.

"Nah... That's just me overacting" I countered back because I don't want anyone to see me being vulnerable.

"I hope you feel comfortable enough to share it someday. Just so you know, I am a good listener" is it real? why do I find his voice soothing right now? Did he just offer his console dance to me?

"stop pitying me alright?" I yell at him because I don't want him to see this side of me and I feel like he had seen enough already.

"let's have dinner" he sighs as he retreats

what has gotten into him? Why is he being so Nice and polite?

"The dinner is getting cold dear" he shouted from somewhere in the house

"Okay okay, big Boss" I shout back as I run downstairs.

"What's for dinner," I ask trying to lighten up the mood.

"spaghetti" he replies back as he lay down the plates on the table.

I look around and notice for the very first time that the room is furnished and tidy.

"nice house. So I am probably having dinner in a millionaire's son's  house?" I joke as I look up at him to see his reaction.

"funny Carrie. But I won't say a millionaire exactly" I chuckle as he serves the dinner.

"well then maybe a billionaire then? So sorry for offending" I apologize softly.

why am I being soft? Well, I got to hide my "vulnerable self" and show the bossy lady here.

"Just forget all this and just eat. No wonder you are so tiny" he remarks as he sits down next to me.

"Tiny? I won't say that Mister. I just don't like to flaunt my perfectly curvy body, and that's why I wear baggy clothes" oops! I think that was a little too much but now that it's said, I have to hold onto it.

"really" and there goes the arrogant B. He is smirking like crazy!

"yes! what? you don't believe it?" I ask as I challenge him through my eyes

He just shakes his head and smiles as he takes a bite of his food.

"well, you know what? I don't really care what you think of me" I sass as I try to keep my anger in check.

I don't know but him not acknowledging my words just frustrates me.

"oh, I believe you, dear. Just that I really want to confirm it though," he smirks and I can see his eyes glinting with mischieve.

I can feel my blood getting hot and before I know it, I have slapped him and if I have any doubt on it, the echo that's heard right now confirms what I have done.

"I am glad that you finally stood up for once" what is wrong with this guy? I mean he has multiple characters. Instead of getting angry like any other teenager, he is smiling at me! The going in his eyes screams happiness and satisfaction.

"What is wrong with you? Are you mentally ill?" I ask as I look at him with disbelieve.

"I am fine but thanks for being concerned about me" 

"I have had enough! I think I will just leave leave" I turn around and head towards the main door.

"I am sorry" 

well, that is new. I turn back and look at Ryan. He is breathing hard like he has run a marathon and his jaws are clenched which tells me that he rarely apologizes.

"that's okay. Thank you for being so kind enough to cook me dinner. I really appreciate it. But I have to go" I smile at him genuinely because it really touched me how he took his time to cook something for me. Nobody did that for me.

"you rarely ate anything. Here's the deal, let's finish eating first, then, I will drop you home. I promise."

"okay" well I cannot turn down food that is made just for me. I mean I want to think that way because that makes me feel special. so I am going to cherish it when I have the chance.

we head back into the kitchen and eat quietly. To tell you the truth, I feel a little guilty about how I acted before.

"I am sorry.... for....for you know.. slapping you. I really am" I plead for his forgiveness after I finish swallowing the last bite of the deliciously cooked spaghetti.

since I am hearing nothing from him I look at him out of curiosity. He is looking at me with a serious facial expression and there is no emotion reflected in his eyes either.

"I can be childish sometimes you know... But I am ready for anything to make you forgive me. I feel really bad for slapping you" I confess as I fiddle with my fork out of nervousness.

" anything?" he asks as he smiles at me. I am getting the feeling that he won't forgive me so easily

I am not sure about how to answer that. Anything can be anything and I am not so sure now.

"relax Carrie, I don't bite" He chuckles as he looks at me all seriousness again!

"our meetings so far had been all fights and I think we both misunderstood each other. Let's start our friendship on good terms from now" well I agree with that. I mean one more friend won't hurt me, right? I can have someone I can turn to when Benz is occupied with Mia. He hasn't ditched me yet but who is to say that he won't? I have seen friendships getting overpowered by "teenage love".(but I also know that in some cases, it's not true.)

"done" I smile back as I stand up to leave.

"well, I see that you are eager to leave so let's go" He chuckles as he leads me towards the main door.

"The dinner was really delicious. I feel honored" I confess as we head towards his car.

"well, Pleasure is all mine" he smiles back at me.

"you are not that bad you know. I guess I was too quick to judge" I blurt out as he drives us home.

"well, I did the same to you. so from now on, you are about to see the real me so you better get prepared for that" there goes the arrogant B again

"But I still think that you are arrogant" I point out 

"and I still think that you are sneakers" he fires back as he chuckles and shakes his head.

"funny. I don't run away from problems really. I just try to extend that problem until I am ready to face it"

"oh really? and do you face it once you extend it" why does it make me feel like he can read through my soul. I mean, whatever he has done, like the dinner thing tonight, it's as if he can read my mind.

"oh well it's none of your business"

"it is because we are friends now" he points it out.

"true but it has just started and it's too early to be sharing all those things" I smile back at him as I try to hide my irritation.

He is using the friendship card to make me speak out!

"I will wait for it to bloom then"

I shake my head and just close my eyes indicating that I don't want to talk about it anymore.

"We are here Carrie"

"oh well... Thank you for tonight Ryan. see you tomorrow... Good night" I wave at him as I get out of his car and run towards the door.