I can fight too

Chapter 10

"wake up honey, I have something important to tell you" 

"let me sleep a little more mom" I grumble 

"wake up honey, it's urgent"

"will you please close the curtains?" I pleaded as I try my best to fight with the sunlight that is striking my eyes.

"wake up!" she hisses as she pulls my blankets away from me.

she can be such an irritating mom.

"It's Saturday mom!" I shout back as I try to open my eyes and sit on my bed.

"I have to go on a trip that might last for around a week and after that, I have to visit your grandma. She wants to renovate her house and she needs my help" She explains as she sits on the chair opposite my bed. 

"well, what's new?" I roll my eyes as I recall an endless number of business trips she had. The only difference is that she has made an effort to inform me of this time.

"honey, I just wanted you to be careful while I am away and I have hired a new maid, I did a background check on her and she seems perfect for the job. Her name is Laura and she is forty-three years old. she will do all the household chores that need to be done and I have passed on the instructions about the works that she needs to do. You can address her as miss Mathew." she smiles at me as her eyes glints with satisfaction.

when do you ever do anything that not perfect mom?

"If we still needed a maid, then why did you fire the previous one?" I shot back as I see her expressions changing from satisfied to fear but it disappeared as soon as it came.

"you need not have to worry yourself on this dear" she smiles as she stands up to leave the room.

But something is off today. She never visits my room, she never tells me about her business trips and she hasn't spoken to me so softly in forever.

"What's the matter, mom?" I question as she stiffens a bit before looking back at me with a smile.

"what do you mean honey?"

"stop acting stupid mom, You and I both know what I mean" I snap at her and I see her eyes flooding with various kinds of emotions. However, her amber eyes show sadness and fear at the same time. Fear? I am not sure if I have read it right but I think I saw fear in her eyes just a moment ago.

"I don't have time to spare Carrie, just make sure that you take care of yourself and study well"

"since when did you care about my wellbeing and studies?" I roar back as I feel anger taking over my emotions. I mean she does not even care to join me in school for a parent-teacher meeting. It has always been Mr. and Mrs. Johnsons; Benz's parents who attended the meetings for me.

"I do care about you Carrie, I love you and that's why I am working so hard" she sighs as her shoulders slump as if she is hurt by what I just told her.

"Money is not all I need mom. I need your time" I confess as I feel tears fighting their way out.

"you will understand one day Carrie" why do I hear the sadness in her voice? What is she so upset about?

"tell me, mom, what is happening?" I try once again as I try to make sense of everything that she said and did.

"I can't baby. I have to go. take care" she whispers before she opens the door.

"would you have acted the same way if my father was with us?" I finally let out the questions that I had been holding for like forever.

I have asked her about my father but every time I question, she either changes the topic, act as if she didn't hear me, scold me or divert my attention. I decided then that she might need time and I tried to respect that but I have waited enough and I need to know.

"Please mom, I need to know" I plead as I watch her stiffened back.

I wait for her to answer for what seems like forever but in actuality, it's just been a minute or so but all I hear in response is "I have to go Carrie"

"When are you going to tell me about my father?" I try one last time.

My mom turns back and looks at me with a sad smile before replying "after my trip. just promise me that you will take care of yourself"

I hear the fear in his voice and I am not mistaken this time. Her voice is shaking but I know that she will not tell me anything right now.

"I promise mom"  I reply softly as I try to understand what is happening. It feels like a dream yet it's not.

"well, see you soon Carrie" and with that, she vanished.

what is happening?

One thing is sure if I stay here, the questions in my mind will eat me out and I need a distraction from all these questions. I think I will head towards the public library then. But I think I should get ready and take shower.

I can hear my phone ringing but I think I know who it is so I continue my reading as I take a sip of my coffee. 

I am not ready to face anyone at the moment and I am sure that Benz is calling me to apologize and explain himself. I don't think I can forgive him that easily though. Thinking of yesterday makes me frustrated and I feel like beating them to a plump. Too bad I cant fight.

I love this library very much because they have installed a couch for people who hate sitting on a hard chair, even have a fireplace to sit by and read. How cool is that? unlike the other libraries, here, there are rooms that are divided into different compartments which are neither too small nor too big but comfortable enough to sit as we want and read. The best part is, they even have a coffee maker, and we don't even have to pay! Interesting isn't it?

My favorite spot though is the place room which is made for lone readers. This room is located by the window which has a beautiful view of the valleys and rivers. So every time I come here, I always look for this place and if it's taken, I take the place by the fireplace. As I said before, I can't fight so well so I cant ask the person to empty that room either because they have the right to stay.

"hey Bookworm"

"Ryan?"