Scene of Eve

[ chapter 11 ]

Ian drove back to where the crew was when we heard Joey cut the scene from the walkie-talkie hidden somewhere in the backseat.

“Take your time, lovebirds. We’re packing up here anyway.” Joey added. I expected Ian to slow down then, but he didn’t. Instead, he stopped at an old gas station, looking more like a ruin, with its dilapidated state. The paint chipped off from its pillars. The gas pumps were left lying on the floor haphazardly as if the last one who used it ran away from a zombie. 

The thought of zombies made me laugh as I was reminded of a rejected work of mine. A woman falling for her somewhat-dead predator just because he saved her from another zombie attack.

“Sorry. I, uhm. I just remembered this story of mine from years ago.” Ian was looking at me as if I was a lunatic. In a way, I think I am. What sane girl - human - would fall for a predator? I don’t even know what I was thinking when I wrote that. I was so confident that it would get the recognition I was hoping for because of the craziness of the idea. And because I was trying to be on the same level of that vampire story. 

But looking back at it, the story itself is impossible even if I do set it up as a fantasy. The female protagonist would’ve already died, or zombified, even before I finished writing a paragraph. 

“See that gas pump?” I asked Ian after composing myself under his quiet stare. 

“What about it?” Ian’s voice was soft but I could hear the strain in it. He rolls the windows of the car down and gets a clearer look, avoiding my gaze on him.

“Looks like someone left in a hurry.” I saw him nod slightly with a hum. 

“Probably running away from something,” He looked back at the front as he dropped his hands to his lap from the steering wheel. His eyes absently following his fingers, fiddling on his pants. “Or someone.” He added in a whisper.

“And that someone became a ‘something’.” I held his hand in both of mine and played with his fingers.

He looked at me questioningly, his eyes eager to hear what’s next.

“Zombie.” I said with a giggle.

“Zombie? What-” It was a tone I knew so well. He was aboard the ship and is curious how it sails. But he’s also curious about the ship I offered as he would rather sail on unknown territories with me than sail what he already sailed through. 

And that curiosity held me back from sailing territories already sailed. Ships sailing to those territories tend to meet waves and pirates. They get back to shore without their treasure. 

The treasure I have now in my hands is something I’d like to keep. So for now, I’ll sail to unknown territories. No pirates to wreak havoc and steal my treasure. At least for now.

But once we’re back down the shore? One of us is bound to drop the question.

‘Who’s Lizel?’

‘How did you know her?’

_

Ian and I got back to the set, everything almost packed and ready to leave. Tiana waited outside the van to meet me and Ian. Our hands clasped together as he walked me towards  Tiana and two grinning girls waiting inside the van.

“I’ll see you in two days, zombie girl.” Ian kissed my forehead and ruffled my hair, sparing a glance at the two girls wildly fixing bags or whatever. He also tipped his head with a small smile and acknowledged Tiana before leaving a final kiss on my hand and walking away towards his own team.

“Zombie girl?” Nessa peaked her head out with a grin on her face.

“What kind of s*x kink is that?” Hazel followed, but then fully went out of the van to look me straight in the eye before her eyes roamed around my reddening face down to my neck.

“An ‘eating you out’ kind of kink. Duh!” Nessa skipped out of the van as well as she started pulling on the hem of my clothes on my neck area, looking for something. 

“What are you two doing?” Tiana asked, laughing as I tried to pull my jacket to cover myself up.

“Looking for some hick-” Nessa started but then Tiana pulled her by her hood. The roaming hands no longer tickling their way anywhere on my skin, instead replaced by arms engulfing me in a hug.

“Thanks. I didn’t know I needed that.” I said as Tiana stared at me and pulled me inside the van, beckoning for the other two to follow.

After Nessa closed the door and turned on the dome lights of the van, Tiana gave me a look. And just one look, I knew what she wanted to ask. I shook my head ‘no’, sighing. The giggling of Nessa and Hazel quieted down as they felt a certain seriousness in Tiana’s stare. 

“I assume it’s a sensitive ground to tackle?” I asked Tiana as the driver started the car, following Ian’s own, back in the city.

“Sensitive? More like he wishes never to hear Lizel’s name again.” She sighs, looking at me with concerned eyes.

“Who is she? I can’t keep on walking in eggshells around Ian. I don’t want to hurt him if she ever did.” Tiana took in a breath and looked at Nessa and Hazel behind us.

“Lizel was Ian’s ex-girlfriend. I think.” Nessa said without even waiting for Tiana to release her breath.

“You think?” I looked back at Nessa as she looked at Tiana with regretful eyes.

“When we asked her before she left for a modeling gig in France whether Ian will bring her to the airport or not, she asked us back why we brought Ian up.” Tiana continued, her glare on Nessa softening, and looked back at me.

Tiana went on saying how, according to Lizel, Ian had assumed things between them. In the end, Lizel was hurting as Ian kept finding ways to remind her how she just left him. Dropped him like they had nothing going on. 

“But Ian was - probably still is - hurting. It’s not just her.” I stopped Tiana midway, not fully understanding where this Lizel girl was coming from with ‘hurting’. She was the one who left. She was the one who didn’t even clarify anything and left Ian in the dark. Ian would obviously think there was something between them. Lizel led him to think so. What’s worse was that she probably led Xander on as well.

“Xander is different,” Tiana whispers. “He knew there was something between Ian and Lizel. But he went ahead anyway and pursued Lizel.”

“And this Lizel girl, I assume, entertained Xander?” I asked, my heart beating faster.

Tiana said no more, just looked down and took a deep breath. I looked at Nessa for answers, instead, she just tilted her head down along with Hazel.

“You have to understand. Lizel was hurting even while she was with Ian.” Tiana broke the silence that engulfed the whole van, her voice barely audible as we finally arrived in the city and the nightlife began. 

“But Ian truly loved her.” Nessa whispered, finally looking at me with a small smile before clearing her throat and thanking the driver for dropping her at the train station we’re at.

“I just want you to still find a way out while it’s not that serious with him yet, Apple. His love-” Tiana looked at and smiled, albeit a little sad. Perhaps just serene?

“I don’t know about this love of his, Ti. But I can’t deny what we have right now. I can’t just run away. Whatever reason Lizel had for hurting, I do not. Because I am not her. If everybody sees a Lizel in me, then I can’t really do anything about that. It’s what they chose to see. It’s what you chose to see.” The last sentence came out a whisper as tears were brimming in my eyes and the lump in my throat was getting harder to swallow.

As for my tears? I don’t know if they were for Ian and how his heart fell into, what I believe, is the wrong hands. Or if it was for my own heart that fell in the warm hands of a stranger. Or maybe those were tears, indeed, from hurting. But the hurt is not, and will never be, what Lizel felt. 

Because the hurt that I feel right now is the hurt from how people around me saw me as someone else rather than myself.

“I’m sorry. You’re right. You’re no Lizel so whatever happened before would not happen again. I’m sorry, Apple.”

“Sooooooo. Are you two ok now?” I forgot Hazel was still at the back. She was so quiet the whole car ride even when Nessa was still around.

“Apple and I didn’t fight, Haze. I just explained who Lizel was and why Ian could not talk about her.” Tiana said as she sighed, pushing Hazel’s face away from hers.

“I know you mean well, Ti. I’ll be fine. Okay? Besides, I got my favorite girls with me.” I said as I held Tiana and Hazel’s hands.

“Finally!” A familiar voice said from Hazel’s phone. Giggling, Hazel lifted her other hand that I wasn’t holding and showed us Nessa’s grinning face on the screen.

All three of us in the car laughed as we watched Nessa make faces.

_

It’s already 4 am but I’m still wide awake. The face mask I had put on hours ago had already dried up on my face. I’d probably get pimples since I had it on for too long. Come to think of it, my face started itching a little now that I remembered the masks’ presence.

I sigh and sit up, the mask slowly sliding off my face and landing on the floor. Its dryness does nothing to reassure me though that everything is alright. Because along with the serum on it that dried up, are my tears too. 

What Tiana told me about Ian’s past bothered me to some extent. It just proved how I don’t know Ian at all. Everybody seems to know him though. And along with knowing him, people around us seem to know me as well. But they know me as someone else. ‘Apple’ is just a name for them. But my presence, my role in Ian’s project seemed to be ruled by Lizel’s shadow. Or so it seems, as Tiana hinted at.

So does that mean they expect me to leave too?

I flop back down on the bed, a new set of tears trickling down to my temples, down to my hair. I silently prayed that my tears would wash away my thoughts as it slid down my skin. 

But the more I prayed for my thoughts to quiet down, the more my tears brought back the scenes. Scenes that seem so real. Warm touches that held me up securely. Kisses that ignited every fiber of the happiness left in me. 

‘CUT!’

Joey’s voice mixed with my already-messy thoughts reminding me that everything was just a scene from Ian’s project. I’m nothing but a nameless ‘her’ in everyone else’s eyes. They may know me now and call my name. But once the screen blackouts and the credits roll up, that’s it. That’s the only piece of ‘Apple’ every one will see and soon forget. I’m just another one of Ian’s muses that will probably leave him, like Lizel. A muse who believed everything was real and expected that the rolling of credits would not end anything. But it does. Once the last name is shown, all the other names before it have already found a new scene to be part of. A new scene with new nameless faces that they would forget as soon as they are introduced.

But there’s a screen that currently keeps lighting and showing a name. A screen too small to hold any scene. A screen too small and yet it holds my current scene. My current world. 

“Hey. You’re still awake.” I answered on the second ring with a giggle accompanying his own chuckles on the other end.

“You are too.” His voice sounded sleepy. Or rather-

“Are you drunk?” I asked, my voice climbing an octave high.

There was a quiet hum and then just silence. 

“You didn’t answer my calls.” He stated.

“I was in the kitchen while I charged my phone here in my room.” I lied smoothly. I ignored Ian’s calls the moment I arrived back home. I didn’t want to talk to him just yet while my thoughts were still all over the place. Even now, I am not completely prepared to talk to him. But he’s not any different from me right now. I knew we both would be too bothered after the camera cuts the scene. That’s why I decided to give us both space. It was either that or I lost both my composure and him in one night.

It was silent again with just both our steady breathing being the only thing exchanged. 

“It’s 4 AM.” Ian said, sounding a little more sober than a few moments ago.

“Hmm.” I was just playing with the loose strands of my worn-out pajama, content with even just Ian’s breath. Breathing that’s more than enough to tell that he’s just there. 

“You’re still awake.” He added further, trying to sound firm.

“You are too,” I argued back, finally pulling the annoying loose strand off my top.

“Well, you are too.” He retorted back, mimicking my tone. 

It went on for a few minutes, each of us throwing back the same answers of ‘you are too’ to each other, not really sure of what each one has to say. I couldn't bring up Lizel when Ian is drunk. If we do talk about her, about his past, I want him sober and aware. I want him to understand that I’ll understand or at least not be judgemental about it. And I think he knows I need answers. But he too won’t just talk about it in his clouded state. He’s not fully aware, the alcohol is confusing him. 

Probably confusing me for someone else as well. 

I immediately let go of that thought, not wanting to let go of the calm that settled in because of Ian’s playfulness. 

“You might be receiving good news tomorrow. Later, actually.” I can hear Ian shuffling on the other end, probably getting comfortable as well.

“About?” I asked, tucking myself in as well, his voice changing to a lulling tone.

“Remember when we visited your parents?” He continued, probably sensing the state I am in.

“Of course. My parents loved your company. Wants me to bring you on my next visit too.” I stated, looking at the wedding picture of my parents on my bedside table. It amazes me how they’ve been together for so long. Even after the rough patches, they were still able to stay together. And I smile. Someday I would want that too with someone.

“So did you.” I did. More than how I should.

“Don’t kid yourself,” I snorted, pulling the sheets over my head as if that could hide the fact that Ian got me into a blushing mess. “So, the good news?” I added, wanting to veer the topic away from where he’s bringing it to.

“I’m not supposed to tell you this just yet. Mike wanted to wait ‘til the morning-”

“It’s morning,” I said, wanting him to just get it over with. But of course, he knows how to keep me on my toes, ears filtering unnecessary chitchat.

“Alright, alright,” Ian was laughing, of course, he was. He knew I was on my tippy toes ready for whatever news he had. “The contract. Mike would call you in for a lunch meeting with him. It’s why he asked Joey if you could be stolen for a day or two.”

“Are you serious?” I sat up on my bed and threw the cover off myself, a tone higher than how I wanted it to be.

“Hmm. So better get some beauty sleep. You don’t want to be dozing off when he reads you the contract.” He laughed, knowing well enough that I won’t be able to sleep any longer. 

“Is this why you kept calling me? You know I won’t be able to sleep!” I wanted to be fuming mad, but Ian’s laughter was just too contagious and I couldn’t contain the happiness of what’s about to happen.

“Welcome to Genesis, Ms. Apple Rodriguez,” Ian said after calming himself down.

“Why, thank you, Mr. Ian Miller.” Well. So much for sleep.

_

There was a part of me doubting what Ian told me about Mike calling me. It’s 11:30 am and still no calls, texts, or even an email from Mike nor Genesis Entertainment. I was starting to feel agitated to the point that I wanted to pick at the skin on my lips. But I couldn't because of the light tint I’ve applied along with natural makeup on, wanting to be able to dash out the door once I get a ‘ping’ on my phone.

Ian said it was going to be a lunch meeting. So Mike would probably text me at exactly 12, right? Right. 

I kept transferring seats from my kitchen to my sofa, to my coffee table beside the window. It was getting harder not to feel antsy, my hands getting harder to control. The want to pick on my exposed skin is getting harder to avoid by the minute.

What if Genesis Entertainment backed out of offering me a contract? Maybe they thought I still lacked something. Maybe it was Ian bluffing.

12:00pm. Still, nothing. 

I’ve already given up on not picking on my lips, my teeth starting to find a dry part of my lips that it can somehow bite off. Tears already wiped off the mascara I had on as well. The blush on my cheeks followed as the tears did not stop. And then, I was laughing hysterically while punching a pillow on the sofa. I was a disaster. I was crying for being gullible. I was crying out of pity for myself. I was crying because I fell for what Ian said. But I was also crying because I felt like I should just laugh it off. It’s nothing new. The feeling of rejection has been a constant in my career. 

1:30 pm. Still, nothing.

Calming down, I headed for my room and washed my face. I changed out of the clothes, back into the pajamas I wore when I got back home last night. 

2:00pm. Still, not-

My eyes were already falling shut by this time, my body already finding a comfortable position under my sheets for sleep. But it was there. There was definitely a knock. And then another, louder this time. Sighing, I rolled out of bed and grabbed one of the hoodies already in my laundry basket. 

I was rubbing the sleep out of my eyes as I opened the door to-

“Ms. Apple, good afternoon.” Mike greeted me with a smile, my parents beside him too.

“Mom, dad?” I asked, confusion in my tone. 

“Shall we talk inside, dear?” My mom said after pulling me in for a quick hug. 

I opened my door wider and let my dad usher Mike towards my kitchen while my mom pulled me to my room and started throwing clothes on my bed.

“Now get dressed, Apple, dearest.” My mom said as she cupped my face and tiptoed to leave a kiss on my cheek. She left me, but not before hugging me again, in my room to prepare. As the door of my room closes, I can hear her apologize to Mike for the state that they saw me at. I scoffed as I heard this, my dad laughing along. 

I was pissed. I know I shouldn’t, but I was. I hated the feeling of getting played only for my hopes to come crashing down on me. 

I sat on my bed and grabbed my phone to text Ian that Mike, indeed, came to my house. Just not for lunch. I didn’t wait for a reply, thinking that he’s probably still knocked out from being drunk. So I got dressed, combed my hair, re-did my makeup, and lastly took a deep breath to chase the angry nerves away. I don’t even know why I felt so angry. This was not the first time, if ever, where I got stood up by a possible company prospect for a project proposal of mine. I don’t know why Ian’s words affected me too much. I don’t know why I simply could not just let the small details go.

“Hi, Mike. Sorry about a while ago. I wasn’t expecting anyone.” I said to make my presence known.

“Nonsense. It was my mistake. I didn’t confirm anything with you. Though I did expect that Ian would actually beat me to the announcement. Didn’t he call or even text you last night?” He asked with a knowing look at me.

“Oh, no. I was not able to look at my phone. I instantly just dropped dead on my bed.” I chuckled as I sat beside my mom in the dining area, across from Mike.

“You haven’t gone grocery shopping, dear. Thank God your dad insisted on passing by the market on our way here.” My mom interrupted, while my dad was placing food on the table. I can tell it wasn’t food from the market. I can smell it and that’s exactly the smell of my dad’s cooking, of home. 

“What brings you here, though? And together, might I add.” I asked both, Mike and mom, staring at them both alternately. 

“Well,” Mike started, his excitement palpable by the second. I can also feel my dad buzzing in his seat beside Mike as he started serving food for us. My mom was smiling as she held my hand gently in hers. 

“Genesis Entertainment wants to extend its hands to you, Ms. Apple. We’re offering you a contract.”