Black Hole

Perfect

*Callan's POV*

Jay Moore would be the death of me. Seriously. I think if Leo catches me talking to Jay again he’d kill me. But I kinda don’t care, since Jay doesn’t.

God, she’s incredible. She’s intelligent, beautiful, kind, clever, funny. She’s absolutely perfect. 

So really she had no flaws. I truly see her. I don’t think other people even bother to look, but I do because I know there’s so much more to her than being another popular golden kid. I wish her friends could see it, but I’m also happy I’m the only one who sees the real Jay. It gives us such a special connection.

Let’s just say it’s a good thing Leo Rad can’t read minds, because if he could, I’d be a dead man.

^^^

I tried to keep my distance from Jay, I really did. I didn’t want to complicate her life. Especially after she told me that no one cared what she wanted and I accidentally let slip that I could see her. Despite being rich and the most popular girl in school, I knew things weren’t easy for her.

Since the end of freshman year, there have been rumors that Leo sleeps around behind Jay’s back, and I have a sinking feeling that they aren’t just rumors. I’ve seen the way Leo acts around other girls when Jay isn’t around. It’s disgusting. How could he cheat on the perfect girl?

I couldn’t help but wonder if Jay knew. It’s quite obvious to me that Jay isn’t insanely happy with him like everyone thinks she is, but was that the reason? Because he refuses to remain faithful to her?

I still should have been more careful when talking to her. I had no idea that Leo had seen us together all those times. On the first rainy day of the year, I was at my locker, getting ready to venture out in the insane rain when someone shoved me to the ground, grabbed my coat, and ran off.

“That’s for talking to my girl,” He called over his shoulder.

Now it didn’t even make me angry that he stole my coat, but I was absolutely filled with rage that he called Jay ‘his girl’. He didn’t own her. She wasn’t something to be possessed. And if she was so much ‘his girl’ why did he feel the need to go out and f**k other girls behind her back? I hated him.

I walked alone in the rain, seething. Leo’s words replayed in my head, only making me more furious. At least my anger was keeping me from completely freezing.

A car stopped next to me. When I looked up I saw Jay.

I make sure not to mention that Leo was the one who stole my coat, though Jay already knows. I definitely don’t mention his words. I didn’t want Jay to know that he thought she was just something he owned like a pair of shoes.

When Jay reveals to me that she’s not at all happy with Leo and she feels trapped, I feel torn. I felt awful that someone who deserved the world wasn’t happy the way she should be. But I was also hopeful because if Leo wasn’t making her happy she couldn’t possibly stay with him much longer.

I just know that I would treat her so much better than he does. I would never take her for granted and she would be my everything. I have no clue if I actually have a chance with her and I’m not sure I ever did.

When Jay and I became lab partners in the eighth grade, it was before everyone was officially put in their groups that would stick for all of high school. It was clear that I would be branded a weirdo and Jay would be popular. But she sure didn’t act like the other popular kids. She was always nice to me, even outside of class.

She would come over my house all the time to study and we’d laugh all the time. We had so much fun together. Falling for her was easier than anything I’d ever done. Every little thing she did made me smile.

The moment I heard about the dance, I just knew I had to ask her. But I waited too long. I heard that Leo had asked her I knew there was no way I could compete with him.

It didn’t make sense that she said yes to him. She had never shown any interest in him. She rarely talked about him, and seemed to only hang out with him because they had the same friends. In fact Carmen seemed more into him than Jay did at that time. But I guess it only took that one date for him to woo her.

After that they were the it couple. There was nothing I could do. But she seemed happy and that’s all I wanted for her, even if it was making me miserable. And now here she was telling me she was in fact incredibly unhappy with Leo. 

Inviting Jay in was one of the boldest things I'd ever done. I just wanted to spend time with her.

I was surprised when Jay agreed to stay for dinner and when she revealed her incredible taste in movies. Watching Forrest Gump with her in my bed and being that close to her was amazing. I just couldn’t fight it anymore. I had to know how it felt to kiss her.

Unfortunately my mom interrupted. I knew I shouldn’t be kissing Jay anyway. If Leo ever found out he’d make my last months of high school absolute hell.

Dinner was wonderful. I loved seeing how great my mom and Jay got along. 

When I get back in the house after walking Jay out, mom had an amused smile on her face.

“What?” I asked.

“She’s still wonderful,” Mom said.

“Yeah, she is.”

“What’s going on between you two?”

“What? Mom nothing. Why would you ask that?”

“You’ve never brought a girl home before.” She pointed out.

“Well, I’ve brought friends over. Jay is my friend.” I insisted.

“Friends don’t look at each other the way you two do.” Mom said, smiling.

“She doesn’t look at me in any kind of way.” I said, shaking my head sadly.

“That isn’t true, honey. She thinks the absolute world of you. She told me so herself.”

I looked up hopefully. “Really?” She nodded. “Well she’s still got a boyfriend.”

“I had a boyfriend when your father fell in love with me. If it’s not real love, it won’t last.” She said.

“Are you encouraging me to pursue Jay even though she’s with Leo?” I asked, now amused.

She laughed. “I’m just saying she can’t be very into this boyfriend she has when she chooses to spend her evening with you and looks at you like that. She likes you sweetie. I know she does.”

“Thanks mom.” I said giving her a kiss on the cheek and heading to my room.

I immediately called my best friend Howie. “Hey what’s up man?” he asked.

“Guess who I’ve spent the day with.”

“Lucy? I thought that was over.”

“No! Jay Moore,” I said grinning.

“You’re f*****g lying.” Howie stated. “What happened? Did you finally make your move or what?”

“Almost.” I said. “My mom kinda kept interrupting us, but she’s coming to our gig tomorrow.”

“No way. Jay Moore is not coming to watch us play. She has much better things to do on a Wednesday night.” 

“Apparently she doesn’t.” I laughed. “We have to kill it tomorrow night. I’ve got to impress her.”

“We’ll talk to everyone at lunch tomorrow. I’m sure everyone will be on their best behavior tomorrow.” He assured me.

“Not everyone.” I sighed.

“Yeah, Lucy isn’t going to be happy about this. Lunch will not be pleasant tomorrow.” He laughed.

“Yeah, but it will be worth it.” I said. “She’s worth all the drama.”

“You got it bad.” Howie said. 

“Yeah, I do.”

^^^

I lied awake after talking to Howie, still trying to process what happened that day. Maybe things were turning around.

I hated this. I just watched as Jay walked up to Leo and kissed him passionately…several times. I was incredibly jealous and I knew I had no right to be. Jay was not my girlfriend. She’s Leo’s. That didn’t make this any easier to watch.

Jay caught me looking and she shrugged as if to say this is what she had to do. I nodded slightly. I understood.

“You okay, man?” Howie asked.

“It’s fine.” I muttered. 

^^^

“We’re meeting at the pub at 6:30 right?” Josh Kane asked. “Cuz I got a dentist appointment at 4:30 and I can’t be there any earlier.”

“Yeah, I’ve got to tutor that i***t Travis Crawl. He’s hopeless, but he pays well.” Adam Mendes laughed.

“Will you need a ride?” Lucy Montgomery asked me.

“Yeah, I’ll need a ride there, but maybe not home…” I said, figuring this was the best time to break the news.

“Why wouldn’t you need a ride home?” 

“We’re going to have a special guest with us tonight.” Howie said grinning.

“Who?” Adam asked.

“Um, Jay Moore.” I muttered.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Lucy demanded.

“Jay Moore,” I said more firmly.

“You’re joking!” Josh said. “The hottest girl in school is coming to watch us play?”

Lucy cleared her throat and raised her eyebrows at him. “What? She is the hottest girl in school.”

She huffed. “Why is she coming to see us play?”

“I asked her to come,” I said. “We hung out yesterday and she said she was interested.”

“And what did ‘hanging out’ entail?” Adam asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“We just watched a movie and she had dinner at my house.” I shrugged, trying to sound casual about it.

“At your house with your mother?” Lucy questioned.

“So dinner and a movie? Doesn’t that count as a date?” Josh asked.

“How can it be when she’s already dating Leo?” Lucy asked harshly.

“It wasn’t a date. We were just hanging out and she’s coming tonight so can we all just be on our best behavior and play our best?”

“Well we definitely don’t want to put on a shitty show in front of Jay, so don’t worry about that. We’ll be on our best behavior for your girlfriend.” Howie nudged me.

Lucy rolled her eyes and pushed her food away as though she had lost her appetite. I looked over at Jay. She waved at me before going back into conversation. I couldn’t wait until tonight.

When I was getting ready for the gig, I suddenly felt nervous. Not because I was going to be performing in front of people but because Jay. I just want to blow her mind.

I checked my phone. It’s 7:04. I knew Jay was a very punctual person, so she just might not be coming.

“So where’s your girlfriend?” Josh asked, examining his newly cleaned teeth in his phone camera.

“I don’t know.” I said looking around.

“Are you sure she’s coming?” Adam asked.

“Hey, she’ll be here.” Howie said. I wasn’t as confident as he was.

Just as I was giving up hope, I heard a voice call my name. I followed the sound and there’s Jay, looking as perfect as ever, smiling at me. I introduced her to the rest of the band and everyone but Lucy is nice to her.

It’s time for us to go on and I felt sick. Then Jay kissed me on the cheek and I basically floated up to the stage. When I’m singing up there, Jay was the only thing I saw. The band disappeared and so did the crowd. It’s just me and her there.

She’s singing along and looking at me in the way I think my mom saw. She looked at me the way I looked at her. And for the first time I felt like maybe she could love me one day. Maybe, just maybe I was worthy of her time and love.

^^^

Jay was so cool around everyone even though they aren’t the people she usually hung out with. She’s even somehow ignoring Lucy’s rude comment and looks.

I felt bad because all I ever did was talk about Jay, even though I knew how much Lucy liked me. I just couldn’t help myself.

I got my first dance with Jay by showing her some moves. She’s actually pretty damn great. As Jay is getting off of me, her lips crash into mine. An accidental kiss.

Jay started rambling and apologizing for the kiss while I tried to convince her that it wasn’t a kiss. It couldn’t be. I couldn’t have my first (and possibly last) kiss with Jay Moore be like that. Without thinking I put my hands on her face and kissed her.

I shouldn’t have kissed her as long as I did, but at the moment I didn’t care. Turns out she actually liked the kiss!

When I was in bed that night all I could think about was the kiss. It completely blew my mind! Never in a million years did I think I would kiss Jay and she would actually like it.

The next day I’m still in trance, thinking about kissing Jay again. My friends could tell something is up with me. Lucy keeps grilling me, but I refused to tell her anything. I didn’t want to make her even more jealous. I still couldn't help but realize I never felt like this when I kissed her. That’s how I knew Jay was special.

“So what happened between you and Jay last night?” Josh asked me as he, Howie and I exited the cafeteria.

“What do you mean?” I asked carefully.

“Lucy said you didn’t get home for another hour. She ‘happened’ to still be awake.” Howie said.

“We just took a walk and I showed her some moves.” I shrugged, even though I wanted to brag about kissing her.

“Oh, some moves, huh?” Josh laughed.

“You’re not getting anything out of me.” I said.

“Well maybe we’ll get something out of your girl. Hey Jay!”

^^^

As I got ready that night, I was hoping Jay would enjoy swing dancing. I tried to remind myself that this wasn’t a date. Jay wasn’t my girlfriend. But she liked kissing me…

When we got to Variety, I was surging with excitement. I could tell Jay loved the place. We started dancing and it's so fun. When Jay started laughing I felt ecstatic. I had never seen her laugh like this. Especially not with Leo.

After a few songs, we take a break. I was happy to see Vanessa invite Jay over to sit next to her.

Josh turned to me. “So how’s it going with the Homecoming Queen?” He asked.

“Amazing!” I said. “She’s actually pretty great at this.”

“Are you surprised? According to you, she’s good at everything cause she’s perfect.”

“I still stand by that!” I laughed as Howie and Lucy approached us. I’m surprised when Howie asked Vanessa to dance. He’s been harboring a huge crush on her. It’s almost as big as my crush on Jay. But he won’t tell her, which is insane; because I’m pretty sure she liked him too.

Lucy grabbed me and led me to the dance floor. Dancing with Lucy is a bit easier than dancing with Jay because she was more experienced, but it was a lot less fun. After a few songs, Lucy kissed me. I pulled away quickly.

“What the hell was that?!” I asked.

“A kiss,” She answered. “We’ve done that before.”

“Yeah, but we don’t do it anymore.” I said glancing over at Jay. I know she saw the kiss. How was I going to explain this to her?

“Oh, what? Because Little Miss Popular is around I’m not good enough for you? Newsflash Callan she has a boyfriend, and you’re not him.”

“I’m aware!” I said angrily. “I know I am not Leo!”

“Do you?” She asked. “Cause from where I’m standing, you seem to be confused on that matter. Do you think that conceited princess will ever look twice at you when she’s got Prince Charming?”

“She’s not conceited,” I said through gritted teeth.

“How is she not? All she cares about is herself. Do you think she’s hanging out with us out of the kindness of her heart? No she likes the way you hang on her every word. And when she gets bored with you she’s going back to her perfect boyfriend. No matter what you lose, Callan.”

“You don’t know a damn thing about her! You only hate her because you’re jealous. Maybe if you could look past that you’d realize she’s not nearly as bad as you think.”

“Of course not! In your eyes she’s f*****g perfect!” Lucy stalked away. I sighed and headed back to the table. I needed to clear things up with Jay.

I felt ridiculous rambling on and trying to explain myself, but I needed her to know that I didn’t think of Lucy the way I thought about her.

The fight I had with Lucy was bothering me. Jay could want someone like me. Maybe if I just told her how I really felt, she would realize she felt the same way I do.

The rest of the night was drama free. I absolutely couldn’t take my eyes off of Jay. When she dropped me off, I seriously considered kissing her again. But I didn’t. Lucy was right. I was not Jay’s boyfriend, no matter how much I wanted to be.

“I had the most amazing time!” Jay gushed.

“So did I,” I said. “Hey are you busy tomorrow night?”

“Unfortunately, I am.” She said. “I’ve got to play girlfriend.”

I tried not to think about what that entailed. “Okay.” I nodded.

“But I’m free Saturday.” She said quickly.

“Alright, we can see Back to the Future then. We can invite Henry and Vanessa since you two seemed to get along great.”

“I’d love that.”

“Me too. So I’ll see you Saturday?”

“Yes you will.” She smiled and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I didn’t care what Lucy said about Jay. 

She’s perfect.