Chapter Two: Familiar Faces
1064 Words
Pagpasok ni Helliara sa bagong campus, parang sumikip ang dibdib niya. Hindi dahil sa stairs—though, yes, four floors ang aakyatin mamaya—but because this was it.
College life. No turning back.
It wasn’t like Senior High, where you already knew your seatmate’s laugh, your teacher’s quirks, and exactly where the best vending machine stood. Dito, everything felt… foreign. Parang isang bagong lungsod na ikaw lang ang kilala mo. The walls were taller, the halls wider, and the crowd? Louder. Mas masikip sa dami, pero mas malayo ang loob.
Kahit may dalang bag, ang pakiramdam niya, mas marami siyang bitbit: expectations, pressure, fear—at yung tanong na ayaw niyang sagutin kahit sa sarili: “Sigurado ka ba sa kursong ‘to?”
She took Accountancy, a course known for sleepless nights, soul-crushing quizzes, and pass-or-fail moments that defined your future. Some people took it dahil may pangarap silang maging CPA. Others dahil may kamag-anak silang accountant. Si Helliara? She wasn’t sure. Ang totoo, wala pa siyang five-year plan. Ang meron lang siya: a vague sense that she was good at surviving, even when she didn’t know where things were going.
Habang naglalakad siya papunta sa orientation room, may naramdaman siyang parang pamilyar. Parang may kilala siyang energy. She turned her head—and sure enough:
“Helliara?”
That voice. That slight lilt. That knowing smile.
She blinked. “Karylle?”
Boom. Confirmed. It was her.
They weren’t exactly best friends back in high school, but they had history. Both were in the Entrepreneur section of ABM in Senior High, a section known for chaotic expos and overcaffeinated business plans. They had laughed at the same jokes, stressed over the same deadlines, and maybe—once or twice—shared glances across the room when group activities went to hell.
“Grabe, ikaw rin pala dito!” sabi ni Karylle, may halong gulat at tuwa.
“Oo nga eh!” sagot ni Helliara. “Accountancy ka rin?”
“Yup. Kala ko nga wala akong kakilala rito. Ang saya na may mukha akong kilala.”
Helliara smiled. For the first time that week, something inside her softened.
“Same here,” she said.
---
They started walking side by side, and just like that, the energy shifted.
Nagkwentuhan sila tungkol sa SHS days—their old teachers, the thesis that almost broke their brains, the Expo na muntik masunog dahil may nadikit na candle sa papel ng display booth. Karylle hadn’t changed much. Still chatty, still sarcastic in the best way, but with a steadiness na parang ready na talaga siya sa bagong chapter.
“I remember,” sabi ni Helliara, “akala ko dati ang pinaka-stressful na mangyayari sa buhay ko eh ‘yung feasibility study natin.”
Karylle laughed. “Girl, same! Tapos ngayon, may Financial Accounting na tayo? Di ba pwedeng balik na lang tayo sa pagbebenta ng banana cue sa expo?”
“Kung pwede lang…” Helliara muttered, half-joking, half-serious.
May biglang tahimik sa pagitan nila. Not awkward, but reflective. And in that quiet, something heavy bubbled up in Helliara’s mind.
Alam niya—deep down—na hindi lang siya takot sa course. Takot siyang hindi niya mahanap ang sarili niya dito. Sa dami ng taong may plano, may pangarap, may drive… paano kung siya lang ‘yung wala?
---
Pagdating nila sa orientation room, punong-puno na ito ng mga bagong mukha. Yung iba, may dalang tropa. Yung iba, may confidence na parang ilang beses nang tumapak sa lugar na ‘to. Helliara felt herself shrink a little.
But then, Karylle nudged her. “Second row?” she offered.
“Sure,” Helliara replied, relieved.
Doon sila naupo. Sakto lang—hindi teacher’s pet level sa harap, pero hindi rin totally invisible sa likod.
Naglabas si Helliara ng notebook. Hindi dahil magno-notes siya, kundi para may magawa. Para hindi halata na kinakabahan siya.
“Ready ka na ba?” tanong ni Karylle habang inaayos ang gamit.
“Ready na akong malito,” sagot ni Helliara with a small smile.
At doon nagsimula ang orientation. Introductions. Course overview. Rules. Alam mong mahalaga, pero sa dami ng sinasabi, parang lumulutang lang sa utak ni Helliara. Para siyang nasa loob ng classroom pero nasa labas ng sarili.
---
Later that day, habang pauwi, Helliara rode the jeep alone.
Tumingin siya sa bintana, pinapanood ang mga ilaw sa kalsada. Sa bawat ilaw, may buhay. May tao. May kwento.
“How do people make it look so easy?” tanong niya sa sarili.
May mga kasabay siya kanina sa orientation na parang ang ayos-ayos ng buhay. Alam na agad ang goal. May planner. May ballpen na may color-coding pa. Samantalang siya? She was barely holding it together.
But then again, maybe that was the trick. Maybe everyone was pretending.
Maybe the quiet ones, like her, weren’t broken. Just slower to bloom.
*“Is it okay,” she wondered, “na hindi ko pa alam lahat? Is it okay na hindi ako excited, pero nandito pa rin ako?”
She hugged her bag a little tighter, as if to ground herself.
“Basta araw-araw akong papasok, kahit hindi ko alam kung saan ako dadalhin nito. Baka, sa bandang huli, mahahanap ko rin ang sagot.”
---
Pag-uwi niya sa bahay, tahimik lang.
She greeted her mom. Kumain. Naghugas ng pinagkainan. Nagkulong sa kwarto.
Binuksan niya ang notebook niya, hindi para mag-aral—kundi para magsulat.
“Dear self,” sinimulan niya. “You survived day one. I know you’re scared. I know you feel like you don’t belong. But maybe this is what beginnings look like—not loud, not certain. Just... honest.”
She paused, then added:
“If you ever feel like quitting, remember today. You showed up, even when it felt heavy. And that matters.”
---
The next day, nakita niya ulit si Karylle. Tumawa sila ulit sa cafeteria. Nagtanungan kung anong class ang may handouts. Naghanap ng kopya sa photocopying station. Bumaliktad ang binder ni Karylle, bumagsak ang papel—pinulot ni Helliara. Tumawa silang pareho.
Maliit lang. Simple. Pero to Helliara, it was everything.
Kasi sa isang mundo kung saan parang lahat ng tao ay nagmamadaling mauna, may isa siyang kasama na handang huminto, tumawa, at sabihing, “Let’s figure it out together.”
And that was more than enough to keep her going.
- Writer
