Our Chemistry

He walks past me as I buzz him inside our house. I need to divorce my husband, I can smell the shitty perfume on him and judging by how flushed he looks right now, he was with her again. Every single night since he's been coming home it's the same thing over and over again. I have known he's cheating on me since the start of his affair. I even know her name and I also know she is old enough to be our daughter-if we had any. Having children after our marriage was impossible, I got tests done too but there was no way I could conceive I was told it was my fault, something f****d up in my uterus apparently. "I ate already". He grumbles as he sets his bag down and unbuttons his shirt. He takes off his belt and pants and throws them on the floor as he walks over to the lavatory to take a shower. "What am I doing with my life". I quietly mutter to myself as I take his soiled clothes and put them in the hamper. I can hear his moans touching himself again in the running water. Ugh. Everything about him makes me sick to my stomach, we don't even have kids to have me tied down why did I settle for such a boring life. Ethan has had no interest in me since our honeymoon phase was over, usually when that ends it's because of a kid but my kid? My kid was my work. That is still not okay for him to cheat on me, matter of fact is he has always been more than happy to let me work overnight. I wonder if he also cheated on me then but now gave up to let me catch him. We barely even talk anymore. I feel the bed dip and I turn to face him, he sits down with a towel tied around his waist and looks at me. I flush, he hasn't even looked at me in a long while. "Have you lost weight? You look so skinny today in that". He motions towards the silk knee length nighty slip I had on. "Do I? I don't know really, I have worn this after so-". He cuts me off with a sudden movement and his lips come crashing into mine. Before I could do anything at all, his hands grip the back of my neck and he takes off the towel around his waist. "Suck it baby". He says breaking off the rather brutal kiss. His eyes glimmer with evasive thoughts I know he's thinking about right now. "Let's get a divorce Ethan". He immediately gets off me and wraps himself in the towel again. "Excuse me". He snaps at me. "Yes, let's please part ways Ethan. I know about Emily so don't even try bitching about this." I snapped at the crocodile tears he was about to let go. "Y-you know about Emily??". He screamed at me. "What kind of a f*****g wife are you? I have been f*****g that sweet cunt of hers since two months babe, and now you tell me you knew?". "That's what you are mad about Ethan?". Yikes, he's much of a s**t show I guess after admitting it to myself and finally saying the words now I feel ten times better about myself. "Go to a hotel or the couch or wherever Ethan, just out of my sight. My lawyer will contact you shortly". "Wow Lara, just wow. f*****g hell". He mutters as he leaves the room and slams the door hard. For a second I thought it would've come right off its hinge altogether. I sigh as I text my best friend to meet me tomorrow for lunch. She shoots back a reply immediately and asks me how the f**k am I free suddenly on a damn Wednesday. I had just barely hit the send button telling her I'm getting a divorce I see her caller ID popping up on the screen. "Do not chew my ear off this late Maddy". I snap. "No no no no no, you do not get to say that oh my god Lara. What the f**k? You finally realised that cheating bastard is not good for you anymore?". "Somewhat, yes. I thought I would feel even better and at the start I did. I really did feel better. Now I keep thinking of all those times he was with me. He is a decent bloke but he cheated on me Maddy, only stupid women forgive that". Tears well up in my eyes and my voice gets cracky. "Aw my poor girl, please don't be upset we will absolutely fix this. I am sure your lawyer is all over it already but leave the emotions to me I know exactly what we must do Lara". She says excitedly, almost way too excitedly. I agree with her immediately to get a good night's sleep. As soon as the call ends I get up from my bed and walk towards my enormous closet. Half of the flashy, sexy dresses I own have been gifts by my cheating husband. I picked out my largest suitcase and a duffel bag. I stuff my documents and work files along with my laptop into the duffel. And pick out pairs of clean underwear and socks along with my toiletries and make up kit. I pack all of my essentials with a few of my work suits, I never know when I would need it. There is no way in hell I am coming back to this house again. I will stay with Maddy till this all gets sorted out. I pack a few pairs of shorts and tank tops I own and chug in my favourite camisoles and oversized jumper sets I own. All of my combined stuff looks so plain. All of it was black, navy, grey or white. I toyed with my red dress, and debated keeping it. This was the one dress I bought for myself but never wore. It was a fitted dress with a slit running up to my thighs, a low cut to reveal my chest and a dip in the back of it. It was absolutely gorgeous, I was never "fun" enough to wear it and that brought me a little regret. I carefully pack the dress along with everything else and lay down in my bed. Itching to get out and the first crack of light outside my window. I counted down seconds until I felt my eyes get heavy and I fell asleep.