A Borderline Life.

An unexpected adventure

When I was a little girl my dad always told me that I can be anything I want or do anything I want if I work towards it hard enough.

That's such bullshit.

I've done nothing but work on myself and my life and nothing is working. Nothing is paying off and I'm always stuck in the same situation - Sad, depressed and over thinking.

I feel like my middle name should be "overthink" instead of Rose. I hate ruminating on everything in my head. I never stop thinking. It's becoming never ending in my brain - like the most depressing never-ending story you'll ever read.

'Maybe I should go to Sam's. Talk about things with her. See if she knows where my mom could be.' I pondered.

Sam is my best friend. She's 23 too and we've known each other since junior kindergarten. 19 years and counting. She's my only real 'ride or die' bestie.

I swear we could've been sisters in another life time. My god we are so alike. She's Indian. I'm native. She's tall, I'm short. We are pretty much total opposites looking at us from the outside. But we couldn't be more alike inside. She's my best friend, I love her so much she's like a sister to me. I don't know what I'd do without her.

Little did I know, I'd fine out soon enough.

I started walking down the street towards Sam's house. Ruminating in my mind some more about everything, of course.

'Why would my mother do this to me? what has gotten into her? This isn't fair, I don't deserve this!!'

I started getting panicky and on edge. I sat near a tree and took a deep breath.

As I was sitting there a man came up to me and was just standing there for a few seconds until he decided to finally ask me the time.

"4:30" I said.

"Thanks! Can I ask you something?" he said.

"Uhh sure, What's that?" I questioned.

"Why are you sitting here all alone? Are you okay? Do you need anything?" He looked at me with a weird look in his eyes. I can't tell what it is. Sympathy? Pity? I can't put my finger on it. But I don't like it. He's looking at me like I'm weak. Not cool.

"Nah I'm good. Go bother someone else." I said, I cannot stand when people treat me like I'm weak or broken. It may have been rude to say but I'm so lost in life right now I can't bring myself to care about what some random guy thinks about me.

"Did I say something wrong? I'm sorry if I did. You just looked so sad and I wanted to make sure you were okay is all. I'm sorry if I upset you."

He started walking away and I don't know what made me do it but I stopped him.

"Hold on! What made you want to check on me? Just because I looked sad? Why would you do that? Why take time out of your busy day to make sure someone you don't know is okay?" I wondered why he was being so nice when he doesn't even know me.

'He must be crazy like me or bored as s**t' I thought.

"You just seem so sad and no one deserves to be as sad as you look. You're a beautiful girl and I bet you would look 10 times better with a smile on your face." He said smiling.

'Oh. That was unexpected' I thought.

"Oh. Uhh. Thank you, that's very sweet. I truly appreciate that." I flashed him a coy smile and started slowly walking away. 'Its about time to get to Sam's now.' I said to myself.

"Can I ask you one more thing?" He said shyly.

I stopped walking. "Uhh. Yeah, sure. Why not?" I looked at him, patiently waiting.

He seemed like he was beating around the bush and couldn't get his words out. He kept looking around and suddenly looked very nervous.

I took a good long hard look at him and I noticed that he was just so handsome and he seemed like a very nice person. I didn't want to be rude and say something mean or rush him. So I stood silently until he found his words.

"I.. Uhh. I'm wondering if I may be able to get your phone number? Maybe we can talk sometime or hangout or something?.." He asked.

'Well I certainly wasn't expecting that' I thought.

"I don't know. I don't even know your name. This is extremely random." I giggled.

"William. My name is William, now you know me!!" He winked.

'Well what the hell, maybe this could be something good?' I questioned. 'Wow. me being positive for once? What the hell has gotten into me?!' I joked in my head.

"Hi William. I'm Amanda. It's nice to meet you.. Randomly on the street."

We laughed together.

I haven't laughed in forever. This is so different.

All I keep thinking is he's going to ghost me or something because he's just being nice. So. Might as well give him my number. If he doesn't call, no hair off my back.

"Alright what the hell. Here, give me your phone."

He handed it to me seemingly surprised.

I put in all my information and handed it back awkwardly. I'm not used to this. The only person I even talk to is Sam. No one can seem to tolerate me but her.

"Can I call you?" He asked. "Or are you a texter?"

Uh oh.

" Umm. To be honest with you, I don't like talking on the phone. I'm a texter." I said pathetically.

"Perfect, so am I" He smiled.

Huh.

I smiled back and stood awkwardly until I made the move to finally leave.

"I'll message you later Darlyn" He yelled back as he walked away.

Well. That was surprising..