30-year-old BOYS

Chapter 6 - Enter and come inside

Chapter 6 – Enter and come inside

Oh God you are so big.

~ Daniel Cheng

Lips pressed in a thin straight line. That’s the kind of smile Daniel had before he met Huang.

He didn’t grow up sporting the kind of smile most cheery people have, because his family’s business rarely affords him the time to put on a genuine smile. Particularly with the kind of high standards he needs to live up to. He grew up to become a calculating man, always on point, business-savvy, and goal-oriented.

It’s always been about work with Daniel for as long as he can remember. He always bests himself in any which way to reach that pinnacle of success and that remarkable standard that made the Cheng name known for decades.

His prosperity is a gift, and a curse; a double-edged sword that protects him as much as it cuts him deep. But that’s just the fate of the rich and wealthy. It’s always about getting more, always adding one more step to a very high ladder. And the more Daniel creates steps for him to step on, the more he loses touch of everybody below him.

A 30-year-old man like Cheng always has his bearings intact, his sights set on the far horizon, and his head held up high; always going after success, always looking to go higher, much higher than he did yesterday and the day before, power hungry, always hungry, and always looking up.

And this is why for years Daniel failed to notice that one special place that calls for him to look down, and look inside. It’s a place he failed to realize because he was busy looking up but never looking down. And that place sits right below his chest … the heart.

The giggling, the butterflies, the laugher, and the smiles. This is all new to Daniel freaking Cheng. And that is why the strong emotions he feels for the fuckable, makes-you-drop-trou Huang Lau scares him shitless yo! Daniel is new to this shiz. He doesn’t have any Excel spreadsheet, worksheet, or any kind of sheety sheet to use as reference as to how he should feel around Huang Lau, because he has never fallen in love Buddhammit! He doesn’t even know if what he feels is love. All he knows is that Lau makes him feel special. Awwwwww, f**k me.

All Daniel knows is that his chest feels heavy with an emotion he doesn’t have a name for. He knows it’s as strong as love itself, but he isn’t quite sure yet. For now he regards the feeling as a strong sense of infatuation. But seriously, he knows it is something much stronger than that.

Confused. That’s what he is. Confused, because for the first time he is no longer looking up, but he is starting to look down. And it’s so freaky deaky scary for him because he is afraid to fall, afraid to fall a gazillion steps down to where it’s dark and unexplored.

But that’s just the way it is with an emotion that is powerful and all-consuming. He needs to let go. He has to let go. And that is what Daniel Cheng is slowly trying to do as he carefully assesses why his open hand is flying to his chest, rubbing the dull ache that is spreading as his other hand thumbs the phone to read Huang’s sweet text message.

Daniel, I had a dream. You were little. You were running. You were scared. You were little, running, and scared. And then I saw myself and realized that you were running away from me. Please, Daniel, can I see you today? I feel sick, Daniel, please. I need to see you and know that you’re not running away from me. Please Daniel, text me back =’(

Daniel’s heart thumps violently, pushing him to sit up in bed in his jammies as he rubs his chest, trying to tame the beast of emotions that are roaring in his heart.

His throat swells with constricting panic as all the oxygen evaporates from his lungs. He quickly composes a reply to Huang whom he hasn’t seen for a few days what with all the work he has been doing. He breathes long and hard as he composes a message.

Hey, I’m here. I want to see you too =’) come over? I’ll text you my address. And as he sends the text message he cannot help but imagine warning bells wailing in the distance, reminding him that proximity with Huang Lau can breed something close to love.

He gives it thought and it scares him. His stomach flips. His skin feels hot and heavy. And his heart, his 30-year-old heart squeezing with sweet, sweet pain for the promising relationship he is building with Huang Lau. And it’s gripping, almost chilling to the bone. And it fills him with excitement and fear in equal measure. He feels all these bazinga lovin’ things because he’s not just a virgin physically…but also emotionally. f**k he mutters to himself as he leaps out of bed.

Modest lips curved into a subtle frown. It’s the kind of smile Huang had before he met Daniel.

He didn’t have the smile of joy and contentment that most people have, because his financial status does not give him a reason to smile.

It has always been about s*x with Huang for as long as he can remember. He keeps a list of men he sleeps with on rotation from night to night, just so he can have something in his pockets to pay for his essentials like food, water, and shelter.

His poverty is a curse, and a curse alone; an endless void of misfortune where he wallows. That’s just the kind of life he has learned to accept. It’s always about getting by, always trying to live through the day going to the next. And the deeper Huang sinks in a quagmire of self-pity, the more he loses hope of ever getting up from the hole he is in.

Lau is a 32-year-old man whose eyes are set on every potential target, his sights set on the next prey, his wits sharp and beguiling as he pursues his next meal; always going after the money, always looking to trade higher, much wealthier than the man he did yesterday and the night before, always about the money, because it’s the only way to live.

This is why Lau is unsuccessful with finding true love. He always has his head down, looking down at himself because he can’t afford to look a man in the eye and ask him to love him back, because Huang himself doesn’t believe that he deserves true love.

Struggling. That’s what he is. Struggling, because now he has a reason to look up, looking up in the eyes of one Daniel Cheng who towers above him. But what’s good about Lau’s position is that he is lower than Daniel, and all he needs to do is reach up and take Daniel’s hand. But he is afraid. He is afraid that he will end up abusing Daniel for what he is. And it terrifies him to the core that he may pull Daniel several meters down to a place of hurt, loathing, and regret. He doesn’t want that for Daniel…because he loves him, he loves him.

And with a love as strong as this one, it’s hard not to fall. The sweet texts, the teasing back and forth, the yearning to touch Daniel’s hand and kiss it. All these things make Lau toss and turn in bed every night, losing sleep as he dreams of Daniel Cheng with his eyes open…because of love.

Pursuing a man isn’t new to Huang Lau. But what’s new about this one is that he’s not doing it for the money, not even for the lust…it’s for love. But he’s unsure if Daniel feels the same way.

And this is why Lau feels oppressed by the possibility that Daniel may not love him back. Huang feels that he is at the bottom of the proverbial food chain, that he’s a liability, and that he has nothing to offer but his love and love alone. It’s the only thing he can give Daniel because he has nothing else to give. He feels helpless almost. It’s such a gripping fear that it terrorizes him to his very core, thinking that Daniel might see him as this lost, middle-aged man who is up to no good, hankering after his wealth, fame, and fortune. And it scares him shitless yo buttah lovin’! Argh!

Huang is new to this shiz too. It’s always about f—beep—ing and never was it about love. He doesn’t have love as a speed dial in his phone. There’s no dude in Grindr whose name is L-o-v-e. This is the reason why he’s nervous in the presence of Daniel freaking Cheng, because he has never had it serious with anyone Buddhammit! He doesn’t even know if Daniel will reciprocate his feelings. All he knows is that Cheng makes him want to be a better man. Awwwww, f**k me again!

Huang Lau needs to face his deepest, darkest fears. And that’s what he decides to do as he composes a text to Daniel, telling him his worst fears realized in a dream he just woke up to not a moment ago. A dream that squeezed his heart with so much pain as a young Daniel Cheng keeps running away, afraid of the much older man in his own dream, and that older man was him.

Daniel, I had a dream. You were little. You were running. You were scared. You were little, running, and scared. And then I saw myself and realized that you were running away from me. Please, Daniel, can I see you today? I feel sick, Daniel, please. I need to see you and know that you’re not running away from me. Please Daniel, text me back =’(

Huang’s heart can only take so much before it explodes. And the first signs of heartache spring unbidden in his eyes as tears of pining roll down his cheeks. He exhales a shaky breath as he acknowledges the feeling of dread. s**t just got real he tells himself as he tries to calm down.

His heart pulls tight as the phone pings with a message from Daniel. Anxiously he thumbs for the text to roll down. Hey, I’m here. I want to see you too =’) come over? I’ll text you my address.

His body trembles and fills with renewed hope upon seeing Daniel’s message. The text affirming that the recipient is just as ready as the sender to give whatever it is they have a chance, a chance to grow and possibly bear good fruit. There is so much hope and promise in Daniel’s text that Huang can’t help but feel a choking sentiment where his heart is beating. And he relishes in the feeling that his infatuation may just be his 30-year-old love after all.

Cheng’s apartment at King’s Road is not an apartment. It’s a mothafu—beep—in penthouse suite Buddhammit! It’s—for a lack of a better word to use—beyond (wink wink ^^ Indelible readers know what I’m talking about). It’s beyond. So beyond that the word beyond is not enough to describe how beyond the apartment is. It’s Ba—nanas~!!

Think a very wide rectangle, probably close to 50 meters. Or better yet think of an Olympic-size swimming pool to stretch the apartment’s diameter. Then imagine a high ceiling with long glass windows overlooking the streets down below where the Financial Districts are. It’s a wide open space with no doors. No doors. I repeat. No doors! It’s literally a wide open space with no walls and zero partitions, just sections that house a modern living room, a modern kitchen, a modern pantry, a modern lounging area where all the gaming consoles are on display in a glass compartment, modern stairway leading up to Daniel’s open bedroom, a modern bath, all modern Buddhammit! And everything interplays among the masculine colors of navy, steel gray, and opulent white. Very naughty…cal. Um … nautical, yeah, that’s the shiz word I’m looking for.

Huang is as sweaty as ever as he jogs to where reception is waiting. He walks up to the lady behind the desk because it’s standard protocol before he can be permitted to go up to Daniel’s residence, “I’m here for Daniel Cheng,” he smiles and he can’t help but do because there’s just so many butterflies fluttering and pollinating into a frenzy in his tight, rock-hard stomach. YUM.

The b***h troll behind the desk eyes Lau from waist to face, giving him a condescending look that says ‘What the hell?’ but she doesn’t say anything and instead hands him a keycard for his visit.

Swiftly and with an extra kick in his steps, Huang presses for the elevator to go down and bring him up to where heaven is waiting. A smexy, delicious, mouth-watering, makes your loins dribble to a deluge of hot white shticky fizz of— oh crap PG13. Bo—ring!

Ding! goes the sound of the elevator and it opens to a place bathed in light. The bright sun casting slivers of sunshine down the pathway as he walks to where Daniel is waiting, dressed impeccably in a relaxed ensemble of everything white; white cotton shirt, white cotton dress pants, and comfy white slippers. He’s as white as semen— oh crap PG13!

Huang Lau on the other hand is his usual bad boy self; blue body-hugging tank top and smexy tight jeans. YUM. His face is framed by a week-old five o’clock shadow and there’s a long, wide patch of sweat that darkens the material of his smexy tank top. Er my gird my throbbing loins!

Huang comes into full view as he saunters to where Daniel is seated. Huang looks up and all around as he takes in the lush, rich, and masculine presence of a nice-smelling, good-looking penthouse suite, the kind of apartment where you just wanna F in the living room, F in the bathroom, F on the kitchen counter, then eat each other before you F hard in the bedroom, then back in the living room again, up against the wall, across the floor, on and on and on and on.

Daniel smiles and then frowns, “Oh no,” he closes the book he’s reading then rises, “You need to change your clothes. And you need to shave,” he tells Huang and Lau is ever the obedient little puppy as he follows behind Daniel who smells like fresh linens and masculine talcum powder.

Lau doesn’t know what to feel at this moment because all he wants to do is take Daniel in his arms and hug him and kiss him to an inch of his life. But this instinct is somehow trumped by the growing presence of opulence as his eyes dance over and all around the palatial apartment of Daniel freaking Cheng.

Daniel on the other hand is close to throwing up. His heart is racing and his stomach is flipping with butterflies that are fu—beep—ing each other in his gut. He’s so nervous that his last breath is becoming harder than the last, “Follow me,” Daniel tells Huang and they both go up to where the open bedroom is waiting, “Wait here,” is what Cheng says as he leaves to gather what he needs from his own wardrobe and at the same time making a quick dash inside the bath to retrieve a Schick blade.

Huang rolls his bottom lip inside his mouth and he shoves his hands to curl in his pockets as he tiptoes from one open section of the bedroom to the other, looking at all the expensive stuff Daniel has on display.

“Hey,” Daniel calls and Huang startles, “In here.”

Daniel pulls a low barstool with his foot, “Sit down,” he tells Huang and Lau obliges. Lau realizes that he hasn’t spoken any word since he arrived, and he has a good reason to because he doesn’t know how else to regard Daniel’s apartment. There’s no word to describe it. It’s beyond fabulous. And Huang feels like talking will distract him from memorizing Daniel from head to toe. What Lau wants is to bask in Daniel’s presence at this moment; all relaxed, in control, and absorbed in his personal environment. It’s this pivotal moment that Lau realizes his infatuation is growing bigger, that infatuation has now receded to bring to the forefront another emotion that he believes perfectly summarizes his feelings for Daniel…and it’s called lovelust, a potent mix of s****l longing and love, a very dangerous combo.

Daniel’s beating heart is now pounding, “Hands up,” he murmurs and it makes Huang look at him with wonder, “You need to change your shirt,” his voice is almost dying in its breath as he realizes that he is about to see Huang Lau shirtless.

Slowly and with sensual ease, Daniel undresses Huang, and instantaneously desire explodes hot and heavy in their blood, warm beads of sweat rolling down their backs, “Daniel,” Huang murmurs, his hands involuntarily grasping Cheng’s waist, “You make me nervous,” their hearts are pounding hard and they can hear the blood roar heavily in their ears, “W-what are we—”

“I’ll just…” Daniel interrupts, “…I’ll just give you a light shave. Your facial hair is bothering me,” Cheng murmurs, but the truth is he likes seeing Lau’s five o’clock shadow. And then, with stunning clarity, Daniel realizes what he really wants…and that is to see Huang shirtless and exposed before his eyes. Daniel desires contact…skin contact.

Lau’s hands become firm as his grip on Cheng’s hips become tighter, “Please be careful,” he swallows as Daniel starts foaming his jaw line and neck with shaving cream, “Heh, Daniel, why are you laughing?” he asks in a teasingly low and husky voice.

“You look like Santa Claus,” Daniel says and before he can stop himself his left hand is already clasping Huang’s shoulder. Both men feel a sexy shiver, very potent and tactile as sensation pelts their skin with delicious Goosebumps. Oh s**t Daniel thinks to himself as his palm warms with the touch of Huang’s masculine shoulder, “Lau, chin up,” he murmurs, almost out of breath.

Huang is breathing low as Daniel shaves him clean, his heart slamming hard against his ribcage as he tries his best to marshal his naughty fingertips, which are hot and wanting around Daniel’s tight waist. f**k Huang thinks to himself as s****l desire boils hot and heavy in his blood, s****l frustration he feels as Daniel shaves him clean and fresh.

“There,” Daniel sighs, putting down the shaving blade and taking a towel to gently wipe Lau’s face, “Um,” Daniel bites his lower lip not knowing what to say next, “Oh, you need to change, come,” he steps back and offers his hand and what it does is make Huang’s heart grow frantic and wild. Lau has been meaning to hold Daniel’s hand and now is his chance.

Cheng’s eyes grow big and wide, “Oh God you are so big,” is his observation as Lau rises from being seated. Daniel shifts uncomfortably as Huang gives him a confused look.

“Big wha—?” Lau mumbles as he rises, and then he realizes what Daniel means as he looks down to where Little Lau is camping erect, from inside its tent.