play pretend.

She's a daughter of sanailo, an ordinary man who lived with his wife and daughters in the small village, being taught contentment and values she's always satisfied with what she has, she lives with her mother and father and little sister in a small village, her dad is a traded while her mom is a stay at home wife, she helps her mother take care of the plant and grow flowers, that's the favorite part of growing up being able to watch the flowers bloom and shine brightly brought smiles to her lips, she had everything and wanted nothing, a happy family with her mom and and lovely sister what more could she ask for? What more could she want? But it all came crashing down one summer night, her little sister got sick and was rushed to the hospital, unfortunately she has cancer and had little chance of surviving, in the small village the facilities weren't there to help her but the couldn't afford a bigger hospital in the city and family has spent almost all the money they had and had nothing left to further her sisters treatment there was no hope, only to watch her died that's all they could do. Doom lurk around as she heared her mother cries every night praying for a miracle for her daughter, the flowers has died down, the crops refuse to grow and her happy family has turned sad. Her dad tried desperately trying to raise money to help his daughter but there was nothing he could do, the more he tried the more helpless it seems, there was no sliver lining in this dark cloud. It hurts too much so much, she could only watch her family crumble slowing as her parents fell into depression. Her sister was sent back to their house with no money to further her treatment they could only hope for a miracle, praying for some kind of magic, she always believed that their is a God out there and that night she prayed with all her might hoping for a miracle praying and begging for one. The miracle didn't come, and she was left broken standing in front of her sister's grave, she watched as they slowly lowered her body into the ground, they couldn't even afford a casket, she watched as her mom broke down crying and begging but to no avail. God didn't answer their prayers. She ran and ran deep into the forest and lay herself bare, crying till her eyes couldn't, shouting till her voice gave out, falling limp on the ground she felt helpless she's just lost her sister, her only friend and her family….it was the saddest day of her life. Who knows that there is more that awaits her. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ever since sister died, mom has never been the same always blaming herself for the cause of my sister death and I tried to explain that we did all we can but she doesn't look listen, only lock herself in her room crying all day and night, there was no happiness at home, we couldn't even eat together, there's just a big hole that I just couldn't filled, dad tried to talk to her but she wouldn't listen always blaming herself for the outcome of the situation. How sad. How very sad. 2 months later….. Mom died because of high blood pressure, she had been thinking too much and her heart just couldn't take it, she had refused to eat or even get up from bed that she was later laid to rest and yet again my prayers wasn't answered, her am I standing again in front of her grave wishing all these is a nightmare because I couldn't stand it and i broke down, unable to fathom how we went from Happy to sad and from sad to death and more death… I left the cemetery heading home, head lowered as I heard the taunt and insult being thrown, the pity and self disgust, I just couldn't say anything or reply or even raise my head, I wanted to reach home quickly. It's better there. I had left the grave without my dad. Honestly I don't know where he is, he's probably taken this more difficult than I am, I just don't know what to say and how to comfort each other on this way. On getting home I saw my dad, hanging from the ceiling fan, dangling. He left me too, I guess he couldn't bear the loss of his wife and daughter he decided to join them, leaving me all alone, helpless. I couldn't even cry nor scream. I just stared and stared at his dead body till I couldn't anymore, and I collapsed. Hoping to wake up from this nightmare I walked myself into, it was just too much for me and I just couldn't handle it, I wanted to live so desperately I just wanted to vanish completely. I did bury my dad. After I woke up, realizing this is my reality and my chosen faith, I wanted to join them too, desperately wanting for us to be a family in the afterlife. After all, we will be together and be happy once again. But even in the sad reality of mine I couldn't find the courage to end my own life. Why I don't know maybe deep inside of me I wanted to live and still find some goodness in the world, maybe it wasn't all bad and there's still good, or maybe it's just my excuse for how weak I am unable to lay down my life for my own family. But man was I wrong, There's a much more sadness and darkness in this world that you wouldn't be able to fathom. A week after my dad's burial. I had run out on food, there's wasn't enough money after my father's death, I also sold everything we had to pay off the debts but it still wasn't enough, I didn't have anyone to turn too, no grandparents, no uncles or aunts, it was really painful I taught about dying so many times I lost count, I was depressed but till yet I held onto my faith, although my numerous prayers wasn't answered I till held on, but I didn't know for how long, after everything was taken away I went to different places to beg, for food and shelter I also had to sell the house because there was no food to eat and no one was willing to help, devastated I could only beg and plead but I was silenced. Everywhere I walk I was being labeled the girl that killed her family, no one was willing to help, and those who offered their help needed something in return *a trade* I didn't want to succumb to their will so I ran and ran, sleeping under the trees, begging for food in the market there was nothing left for me to do, i wasn't educated so i couldn't even apply for a Job, it was horrible.but that was just the start of my nightmare. It was raining that night, please let me go, please don't go. Shut up you slut you should be thankful we're even touching you, you're a curse to your family isn't it better that you end up like them? No I didn't do anything believe me am innocent, Slap! Slap! Shut up and stay still, if you don't want me to strangle you here and now! Hey hold her hands, ahahah this is going to be fun, Please don't please don't do this and begging you, I promise I won't tell anyone just leave me alone. And who will believe you? Uhm if you don't know you're already titled the cursed girl in this village no one will help you or even let you close to them not after you killed your entire family, you should be grateful we're giving you some action. Ahahahahahah Reality hit me hard, and I couldn't move. Maybe I am a curse to my family. I have already seen that I wouldn't be able to struggle myself free and they wouldn't let me go, so I succumbed to their will and my fate. the r**e me that day, each taking turns f**k me , I just lay still staring at the stars, waiting for a miracle! But a miracle didn't come. till my eyes got blurry and I couldn't see anything but darkness.