Chapter 9

2636 Words
Lucas Emily had always been jealous of Esme. Everyone that grew up in the pack knew about our past and rumors flew after her birthday, with neither of us talking about what happened. I tolerate her jealousy most of the time, but she took it too far today. Esme is still grieving for her father. The last thing she needed was Emily attacking her when she should have come to me. She has always been petty and selfish. That was honestly the best thing about her. It ensured that I would never have genuine feelings for her. As selfish as that sounds, Emily never wanted me to love her either. When I realized Esme wasn’t my mate, there was a moment of heartbreak, but relief followed it when I found my dad. The desire to find my mate had faded away. No one understood that when I said it, they always assumed it was overcompensation for not having found her yet. There is so much more, though. Only Jackson knows the fear I have of finding my mate, knowing I will have to reject her, too. I made my way to my office, knowing Emily would be waiting. I opened the door and saw her sitting on the couch, just playing on her phone like nothing had happened. “What was that?” I growled at her. “I don’t ask for much from you, but I will not share you,” she snapped back, full of fury, as she stood up. “Share me? I was comforting a friend.” I glared at her. If I was going to give in and be with Esme, I damn sure wouldn't have stayed away for almost four years first. Every part of me craved her, but she was not an option. And if she was, Emily would have been gone the second I knew. “All night long?” she spit back. “Don’t pretend this is something it’s not. You wouldn’t have known I was even gone if Jackson wasn’t looking for me,” I seethed. If she stays at my place, she stays in a guest room. It was nothing but a pretense. I was rarely still there when she woke up. “You don’t think I hear the rumors? Ever since Josh started remodeling that stupid little house for her, it’s all they talk about,” she pouted, changing tactics. “What are you even talking about?” She made my brain hurt. I knew there were rumors about our relationship, I just didn’t play into it. I haven’t heard anything about Esme, but it didn’t surprise me. The pack loves her, they always have. I'm sure they had hopes of us reuniting when she came home. “Don’t play stupid with me, Lucas. You know that they have all just been waiting until she came back.” If that is the rumor, they were mistaken. It isn’t meant to be, as hard as it is for me to swallow. “I don’t know who they are, but I thought this relationship was only between you and me,” I snarled at her. “Relationship? That’s what you call this?” She forced a laugh. “You don’t even try to pretend that’s what this is,” she scoffed. “You knew going in what I needed. This is a two-way street," I laughed. “I also thought you would put more effort in. I tried for months to make it more,” she pouted. “I can’t give you more. I told you that from the beginning.” She had tried in the beginning, and I shut her down at every attempt. I made it clear I needed someone to take to events, someone to stand by my side. I needed to look like I was in a relationship, but I never intended to be in one. She was right, this wasn’t a relationship. It was an arrangement. She got the perks of being with me, she got my credit card to buy all the clothes and make-up she could ever want, and I got peace. I got them to stop talking about Esme constantly. “Yeah,” she laughed again. “You say that you can’t give more. But the way that you look at her says otherwise. You just can’t give more to me,” she said, anger lacing her tone. Kiko was pushing for control. No one talked to us like that, especially not her. “You don’t know what you are talking about. She's my friend. My best friend,” I replied, pushing Kiko back. This is not the time for me to lose my s**t. “You keep telling yourself that,” she snapped. I couldn’t deny it, I felt more for Esme. But I could never be with her, so it didn’t matter. As long as I continued this charade with Emily, I was only making everyone miserable. “This isn’t working anymore,” I told her and walked to my desk. I slept half of the day. I had meetings this morning that I needed to reschedule. I had someone I needed to meet with for a report I had requested. I had enough to worry about without having to worry about what to expect from her next. This arrangement was no longer working. “What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked, taken aback by my statement. She believed she held more power than she really did. “That means we are over,” I replied simply. I didn’t want to argue, I didn’t have the time or patience for this. “You can’t do that!” she shouted. “You need me,” she added, desperation filling her voice. “I don’t need anyone. That’s where you’re mistaken,” I growled and made my way to the door. I'm done with this conversation. I slammed the door behind me. I just can’t fake it anymore. I have things I need to concentrate on, and she is just a distraction. She had become more of a problem than a solution and I couldn’t keep it up. I called Jackson to have him meet me at our outdoor sparing grounds. I need the fresh air. I considered shifting and going for a run, but I needed to work out some of this aggression, and sparring was just a lot more fun. ------------------------------------------------------ We've been sparring for hours now and the sun is setting. Jackson tried talking a few times, but I didn’t even know what to say. My body was now covered in sweat and dirt but Kiko was able to calm down some and my anger subsided slightly. I grabbed a bottle of water and sat in the middle of the dirt ring resting my arms on my knees waiting for Jackson to come back from grabbing his water. “So, are we going again or are you ready to talk about it?” he huffed out. “Who said I wanted to talk about it?” I laughed at him. “Seems to me like you are pretty pissed about something.” He raised his eyebrows at me. “I don’t know that’s the word for it exactly,” I replied, rubbing my hand over my face. “I broke up with Emily today,” I finally admitted. That was just the tip of the iceberg here and he knew it. There would be blow back from ending things, but not enough to have me so wound up. “About time. Gwen will be happy she doesn’t have to play nice with her anymore,” he said with a laugh. Gwen had given Emily more grace than any one person deserves over the last few months out of respect for me. “But what happened?” “That’s the other part. She tried to attack Esme today.” Just remembering it, anger filled my body. When I walked into the dining hall and saw Emily grabbing Esme’s arm, I almost shifted right there and tore her apart. “Attack her?” he questioned, as if he had to have misheard me. “She confronted her in the dining hall,” I explained, honestly surprised that the entire pack wasn’t already aware of exactly what happened. There were plenty of people watching them and things usually spread quickly. “What the f**k? Why would she do that?” He asked, shocked somehow by Emily’s behavior still. “To stake her claim, I guess. I stayed with Esme last night.” I exhaled loudly and winced, knowing how he would react. “Way to bury the lead man,” Jackson laughed. “It wasn’t like that.” I shrugged my shoulders. It can’t be like that. “She’s just grieving, and I was there for her. That’s all.” I downplayed it. I can’t admit to him that being with her helped me sleep when I haven’t been able to for weeks. I can’t tell him that my dreams were full of her all night. I can’t tell him how much it turned me on that she was wearing my shirt and not much more. I can’t tell him how my body and heart ached for her. If I said it all out loud, it somehow made it real and it just wasn’t a reality we lived in. She can never be mine, I'm cursed. “And if Emily had spent the night with someone else, you wouldn’t confront them?” He asked, playing devil’s advocate. The best part about Jackson is he was always asking me tough questions. He didn't mindlessly follow me as his alpha. In the end, he respected my choice, but he always made sure I thought about it from every angle. “Honestly, man, I wouldn’t care enough to.” I shrugged. “And Esme, if she spent the night with someone else. You wouldn’t say anything to her or the guy she was with?” The anger I felt at his question was undeniable. Imagining her with someone else hurt. But it was a reality that I would someday have to face. And when I did, I would have to do it with a smile on my face. No matter what my heart said, I have no right to be mad. “I wouldn’t.” I finally replied and saw the doubt on his face. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t want to, but I have to accept that it's inevitable.” My chest tightened at the thought of it, I know it's easier said than done. It will kill me when it happens. “So, you can’t see why Emily, a girl we both know is with you because of your position, would feel threatened and protect her territory?” he asked. “It’s not that simple,” I replied, frustrated. I stood up and threw my water to the ground. “Exactly. Nothing ever is. I just want you to think about it. Not that I'm at all saying you should try to fix your relationship. You should never have been with her in the first place and we both know that. But don’t be so hard on her," he replied. He’s right. I should have expected no less from her. She had always been pretty possessive. As a whole, wolves tend to be. But Emily more so than most. She wasn’t exactly protecting her relationship so much as her position in a pack. I was using her just as much and I know it wasn’t fair. I just thought that she could fill a void I needed until she found her fated mate. Once she found him, she would realize some things are more important than power and status. “Let’s head back. I want to see if we have any news on the attack. I had Chase looking into a few things. I think another pack may be involved.” “A pack? I thought you said it was just rogues,” he asked, following me toward the packhouse. I had been so concentrated on the attacks that I didn’t have time to show up like I needed to at work. So, I had Jackson focusing on covering for me there and didn’t loop him into everything going on yet. We also held a lot of real estate in the human town and ran a security business to keep money funneled into the pack. It was essential that we kept everything moving and Jackson was the only person I could count on to run things while I handled the pack and my dad recuperated. “When was the last time you saw rogues travel in a pack that large and executing such a coordinated attack?” I asked him. The more I investigated, the more things didn’t make sense. “Leo said that when Josh saw that we were coming, and they were headed straight for my dad and me, that he took off leaving three wolves for him to deal with. All three stopped and followed him. He followed them but lost Josh in the mass of wolves. They retreated shortly after Josh was taken out.” I explained quickly, knowing the pieces would fall into place for Jackson. “So, you think maybe they were targeting him?” Jackson asked, following me through the gates and back to the packhouse. I needed a shower before I met with anyone. “Yeah, I just don’t know why,” I admitted, wiping my face with my shirt. “Tell Chase to meet us in twenty minutes in my office,” I told him and turned toward my apartment. I rushed to shower and threw on some clothes before heading to my office to meet with Chase, Kyle, and Jackson. I walked in and Kyle and Chase were sitting at a large meeting table I had with a folder and papers spread across the table. Jackson opened the connecting door to his office and walked straight over to join us. “So, tell me what you got,” I said, getting straight to the point. “It seems like these rogues are gathering and staying in random empty warehouses in a city about an hour south. I've had surveillance on a few of the locations. None of them are owned by the same people or corporations. I can’t find anything in common with the locations other than they just seem to be abandoned buildings. We have not seen anyone enter any of the locations that looked like they could be leading this. We have not been able to confirm any other pack involvement.” He answered, pushing surveillance photos across the table to me. “Have we been able to confirm that these wolves were the ones that attacked us?” I asked him, looking through the photos. These buildings look like human homeless camps. Busted windows and missing doors. One of the buildings looked like it had been on fire and abandoned later. It had to be them, there were so many in one place. Rogues don’t usually gather like that. “No, not yet. I didn’t want to make our presence known. I want to make them think that they are safe. Eventually, they will make a mistake. Eventually, whoever is organizing them will show up and we will be there when it happens,” he answered. He’s right. As much as I wanted to storm in there and set the entire city on fire to be done with it, that wouldn’t work. We need to be strategic. Whoever is behind all of this would only regroup, we need to get to the bottom of why we were attacked and what they wanted from Josh.
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