Fate of the Alpha's Mate

Esme I slowly crossed the border into pack territory in my old blue Jeep and took a deep breath. I could feel the anxiety building as my tires crunched on the gravel road. The closer I got to my new home, the more it filled my entire body. I haven’t been back since I left for school over three years ago. It probably would have been easier on my heart to move to Cold Moon with my grandparents after college but I'm tired of running. I miss my life here. I miss my family. This is my pack, and I loved growing up here. My family is deeply rooted in this place. My dad is the beta for now, but he will be retiring soon. The timing is good. Besides, it's time to move on and find a way forward with my life. I can't run from him forever. My parents came to visit me at my apartment outside of the school campus as much as they could over the years. It never seemed long enough, but I couldn’t bring myself to come home for school breaks. Wolves are not meant to live alone though. I didn't want to admit how lonely it had been. I enjoyed school and I needed that time away to find myself, no doubt. But at some point, I had to face the truth. When I left, I was a very broken teenager. I spiraled for a while, but eventually, I started to find my way. I'm happy with who I've become. My parents were excited when I told them that I would be coming home after the summer term. They tried to be supportive of my choice to go away to school, but I knew they wanted me home. My dad found me a cute little house not too far from the pack house and close to where he and my mom would be moving after his retirement. He knew I still needed distance from the pack house where I grew up, but he also wanted to keep me close. It was a compromise I could live with. My cousin, Kenzie, will be living in the house with me. She already moved in three days ago. We were close growing up. I've missed her terribly. I'm excited about getting to spend time with her. Her twin, Kyle, will soon be Delta. He moved into the packhouse shortly after I left. My Aunt Lacey and Uncle Carson are cool and all, but Kenzie definitely needed her own space. She's twenty-one now. She likes to go out and party a lot. From what I hear, Aunt Lacey is not happy about it. She thinks moving in with me will be good for Kenzie. That's because she thinks I’m the same girl I was when I left at eighteen. When I left, no one knew how broken I really was. They never saw the insecure mess I had become. They still saw me as responsible, reasonable, and reliable. The girl that would one day be Luna of the pack. She was poised and steady. She thought she knew who she was and who she was going to be. She was innocent and naive. That girl died on my eighteenth birthday, no matter how much I tried to pretend otherwise. I managed to push my way through the rest of my senior year and summer, counting the days until fall when I could make an escape that no one would question too much. Plenty of wolves went away for college. But, the fact was, I never planned to. I spent my entire life learning what I needed to run the pack. The plan was always to go to the small community college in town with Lucas, not the state university four hours away. That all changed that day. The memory of it will forever be burned into my brain. **Flashback** I nervously made my way to the stairs, tucking my long, dark hair behind my ear. I knew Lucas would be in the dining hall by now. Butterflies filled my stomach at the thought of him. This will be the day that changes everything for us. I took my time getting ready. I wanted to look absolutely perfect for our moment. My hair fell in loose curls down my back, I spent an hour perfecting my makeup and choosing an outfit. I waited all of my life for today. There is no doubt that it will be the beginning of the rest of my life. Lucas has been my best friend for as long as I can remember. No one would ever understand me the way that he does, no one could ever be more perfect for me than he is. We could read each other and calm one another with just a touch. We have always had a strong connection, but today will cement it. I have known for years that we were fated to be together, even if he wouldn’t let himself believe it. Everyone in the pack expected it, but he always held back for some reason. He insisted he needed to focus on his alpha training so that he would be ready when I turned eighteen. He said that once we were mates, he wouldn’t be able to leave me for so long to do some of the training with other packs and I knew he was right. There was also a part of him that I knew was terrified it wasn’t true. He was always afraid if we took our relationship to the next level, we would do something we couldn’t take back and ruin our friendship if we weren’t mates. As the years went by, I knew in my heart that he was it for me. There was no other option. So, I waited for today. Selene, my wolf, was bursting with energy, excited to see Lucas as well. I made my way about halfway down the stairs before I noticed Lucas walking into the foyer. Our eyes connected. I smiled as I took a few more steps quickly, anxious to get to him. I saw something flash in his eyes and then stopped as I saw him fighting with Kiko for power when it hit me. Selene was quiet, she only whimpered in my head as I stood frozen. My heart accelerated. I could feel panic rising in my throat as it constricted. I felt like I couldn't breathe. This is not possible. In a flash, Lucas darted out of the foyer and ran down the hall, leaving me alone in my devastation. Tears were streaming down my face, ruining my perfect makeup. In the end, it was all for nothing. He wasn’t my mate. And after that day, he wasn’t even my friend. He distanced himself from me, making it obvious he would never choose me. At first, I was grateful for the space. I needed time to process it and grieve a little for a life I thought I would have. I suddenly didn’t know who I was. I realized I had planned my life around a fantasy. Without Lucas, I didn’t know who I was. How pathetic was I? But days turned into weeks, and I needed my best friend. Lucas continued to ignore me, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to get away from it all. The deadlines were quickly approaching for college, and I managed to get accepted into a few major universities. I jumped at the opportunity to get away and never looked back. For months after leaving, I waited for him to call. I had myself almost convinced he would see that it didn't matter what the Moon Goddess had chosen for us, we could make our own choices. But he never called. I learned to hate the night. Hours when I would lie in my bed unable to sleep, and when I did, it was full of dreams about him. It took six months for me to realize he wasn't going to call. I slowly pulled up to the cute little white farmhouse, pulling me from my thoughts. It had a wrap-around porch and a swing hung from the second story overhang. I instantly fell in love with it. I must have passed this house a thousand times as a child, but I never gave it much thought. It was run down and abandoned. I saw Kenzie’s car in the driveway and the front door was opened. I got out, grabbed a box, smacked the door with my butt to shut it, and made my way to the front door. The screen door squeaked as I pulled it open and it slammed behind me. “Kenz!” I called out, looking around the house. My dad must have had the entire house redone for us. It was a very old house, but everything smelled new and looked stunning. Wide planked wood floors spread across the living room and kitchen, with navy cabinets lining the large island, contrasting with the white cabinets along the wall and above the counter with brass fixtures. Matching brass pendant lights hung over the island and it smelled of fresh paint. A farmhouse table with benches sat in the dining room with a navy runner that matched the cabinets running down the center. A small bouquet of white flowers sat in the middle. Shelves lined the walls around the TV, and I saw my books filling several of them already. It made me smile, it already felt like home. “Up here.” She yelled down the stairs and I turned to make my way up. When I got to the top of the stairs I saw Kenzie sitting on the bed in the room to the right. “Hey,” she smiled and jumped up, coming into the hall. I could already see clothes thrown all over her room and I cringed. I forgot she used the floor as a dresser and a laundry basket. That was bound to drive me crazy. “Hey, yourself. You look amazing, Kenzie.” I felt tears sting my eyes when she hugged me. It had been entirely too long since I had seen her in person. We video chat pretty often, but it just wasn’t the same. Her long blonde hair fell in waves down her back, and she exuded confidence. Her icy blue eyes popped to begin with, but her make-up accentuated them perfectly. She had grown up so much in just three years, she was absolutely gorgeous. “Thanks,” she smiled. “You look like you could use some help,” she laughed, walking to the left and opening the door. “This is your room. I’ll run down and help you grab some stuff out of the car. Kyle should be over soon, and we can make him grab the heavy stuff.” She bounced with excitement. As she ran down the stairs, I looked around the room. I assumed they would just move my stuff over from the beta quarters in the packhouse. But a king-sized bed sat in the middle of the room. I thanked the Goddess I wouldn’t be sleeping on that tiny bed from my childhood. There was a white couch against the wall by the bathroom and a beautiful new vanity waiting to be filled with all of my things. The wall behind the bed was lined with shiplap and there was a soft color palette of blush pink and gray throughout the room. My mom must have been responsible for decorating. I smiled to myself and put the box in the huge walk-in closet to the right. I spotted a connecting bathroom and sighed in relief knowing I would not have to share a bathroom with Kenzie. “You don’t really have much, do you?” Kenzie asked, walking back into the room with a bag on her shoulder and a box in her hands. “Not really,” I replied, looking at pictures my mom placed in frames on one of the walls. “I don’t need much,” I added, looking at one from when I was about eight. Lucas was sitting right next to me, and Kenzie, Kyle, and Jackson were surrounding us. We were down at the lake after some party for the pack. This was always one of my favorite pictures. The little group of us were always together. I ran my finger across the glass, remembering easier times. My heart only clenched slightly at the memory. There was a time it would have brought me to tears. “He misses you, you know?” Kenzie whispered. I could hear the hesitance in her voice. “No. If he did, he would have called,” I replied sadly, knowing she was talking about Lucas. I moved to another photo. It was Kenzie and me. We were probably about four and five. I was wrapped around her from behind, holding her in a hug. Both of us had the biggest goofy grins on our faces. “It’s fine though. I’ll be fine,” I said, giving her a tight smile. It probably won’t be easy, but I will adjust. I can do this, I have to. “Esme, he has a girlfriend.” Kenzie blurted out, wincing. I felt a pang in my chest, but I turned to her and smiled. “Good, I want him to be happy. I don’t hate him, Kenz,” I tried to reassure her. “I’m not ready to see him or hang out with him. But I still love him, and I want what’s best for him.” I heard her sigh of relief. I knew coming here wouldn’t be easy. I knew eventually I would have to see him. Someday, not too long from now, he will be my Alpha. Our lives were also very intertwined, and we loved a lot of the same people. I couldn’t allow my broken heart to keep me from my family and friends any longer. And maybe after I finally run into him, I can get him out of my system and maybe get some sleep. The anxiety of coming home had resulted in weeks of restless sleep and crazy nightmares. I was exhausted, but I have finally moved on enough to know I can face him without breaking down.