Fate of the Alpha's Mate

Chapter 2

Lucas

Knowing that Esme was coming home today was driving me crazy. I couldn’t seem to get anything done. I wanted to see her, but I also didn’t. I was the best version of myself with her, but I also knew seeing her would hurt. I’m not sure if she even wants to see me. That made it worse. She left without saying a word to me. As much as that hurt, I also knew I deserved it. She kept trying to find her way back to me after her birthday, but I kept pushing her away. Everything felt overwhelming. I knew it wouldn’t take me much to slip right back into those old habits and tell her everything. I’m still as in love with her today as I was the day she left. I also accepted that no matter how much I love her, it won’t be enough to protect her. There is so much she doesn’t know about what happened on the day of her eighteenth birthday. I need to keep it that way. Nothing had changed. If she knew my reasons, she would argue with me about it. I made up my mind that day and I don’t want any reason to change it. I would rather her hate me and be alive than risk her life for any reason, especially a selfish one. I would spend my whole life paying for something I had no control over, but she wouldn’t.

I’ve been on the verge of calling and confessing everything to her too many times already. That selfish part of me that misses her voice dialed her number too many times over the years. The alcohol could never quite drown out the need to be with her. I doubt she would even answer if I ever connected the call. Being surrounded by our friends, doing the things we always did together without her, and pretending it didn’t kill me was hard. It was like there was an emptiness in the crowd and I would have done anything to have her fill it. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t erase the memories of her that were absolutely everywhere I went. She haunted me.

Of course, the entire pack assumed we would be mates, too. When we weren’t, the questions were relentless. As the years went by, and I didn’t find my mate, it only got worse. For some reason, everyone felt like they had a right to their opinion on my love life. No one would accept the fact that I just didn’t want a relationship. About a year ago, I almost cracked under the pressure. The constant questions about Esme tore me apart and I couldn’t keep doing it. There was a she-wolf, Emily, who was always hanging around the packhouse and showing up at our gatherings. She was sent to live with her grandparents in our pack during my senior year, but I never paid much attention to her. She hung out with a crowd that I had no interest in being a part of in school. After we graduated, I never saw her much. Then she started hanging out in the packhouse a lot and we ran into each other. It turned out that she had been hanging out, hoping to get my attention. I quickly learned that she was power hungry and wanted to change her rank within the pack. Dating her seemed like the perfect solution to my problem.

I looked across my little apartment to see her scrolling through videos on her phone. She looked like the perfect mate, with her long, blonde hair and bright green eyes. She was mesmerizing to the outside world. Sadly, her beauty was only skin deep. She was borderline cruel to the other wolves. She acted as if she were above everyone else in the pack. She only found me attractive because she valued power and money. Someone like that could never be a luna. The luna was like the mother of the pack. She should be compassionate. She should always look for what is best for the entire pack and help develop those things and guide young wolves. Emily would never be able to do those things.

Not that she would ever be Luna of Shadow Lakes. I think she believes she will be, despite what I’ve told her. I don’t have to pay much attention to her as long as I show up at the events that make her look important and play nice. It keeps the questions away and I can focus on training to take over the pack in a few months. Her glowing personality made it easy for me to not worry about getting feelings for her. I can’t afford the distraction. Besides, I have no desire to be with anyone if I can’t have the one person who I want.

I am concerned about how Esme will react to her. We left things in such a weird place, but I miss my best friend. I have Jackson, Kyle, and Chase, but it doesn’t compare to the way it was with her. Esme was always my person. She knew me better than anyone. Josh told me she would be back today. He also asked that I keep my distance while she adjusted to being home. I think he’s afraid she isn’t here to stay. She’s his only pup, and he missed her as much as I did. Not being able to go to her tormented me. I don’t even know if we could figure out how to be friends again. I can’t seem to let go of my feelings. Though I’m sure she has. I’m also confident that there is a significant amount of hurt and anger to take its place.

I walked to the window to look again to see if I could see her Jeep in the driveway yet. I caught a glimpse of her right as she walked up onto the porch. Against her white shorts and pink t-shirt, her skin had a perfect sun-kissed glow. She had pulled her hair up into a clip. My heart soared at the sight of her. I couldn’t help the smile that came over my face and the joy that filled me. Kiko, my wolf, was even excited. He was just as concerned about how things would go after she came home. He also missed Selene.

“Are you looking for someone?” Emily scoffed, pulling me from my thoughts. I glanced over at her and saw her annoyance clear on her face. She also knew that Esme was coming home today. Rumors circulated among the pack. She was jealous already, and I knew that could be a problem. If she pushed it and forced me to choose, she would lose every time. However, I think she overestimated her usefulness to me.

“No, I was just thinking about going for a run. Want to come?” I asked, knowing full and well that she would decline. She wouldn’t want to mess up her perfect makeup with sweat. She rolled her green eyes and looked back at her phone.

“No,” she replied without even looking up. I pulled my shirt over my head, threw it on the back of the couch, and headed out the door before linking Jackson, my beta.

Hey, wanna go for a run? I asked and set off toward the training grounds, where I knew he would be.

Scared of training with me? I could hear the laugh even through his link.

Didn’t want to hurt you too badly. Gwen might get upset. I replied. Gwen is his mate and gets pretty upset when we train hard, or in her words, take things too far. She is not a warrior by any means, but she is the perfect complement to Jackson, and I’m happy for them, even if I’m a little envious. She joined our pack soon after they met, and she has been a perfect fit here.

Game on, pup. I need a challenge, he replied. We have an indoor facility for weight training and some of the basic training in combat in human form. I prefer the outdoor grounds where we can truly test our limits and let our wolves train. I ran up to the fence and saw Jackson standing right inside, drinking his water.

“She’s not home an hour and already under your skin?” He chuckled when he saw me. There was little I could keep from Jackson, and he always called me on my s**t when I tried. He knew precisely what had me worked up without me saying a word. Jackson was the only person outside of my dad and Josh who knew everything that went down between Esme and me and why. He helped me work through the days when I was dying to just tell her everything. He helped me stay focused and got me through when she left.

“No idea what you’re talking about,” I tossed back with a smirk.

“She still got that nice ass?” he asked, raising his eyebrows, taunting me. A growl escaped before I could remind Kiko that he was only trying to get a reaction. “No, no idea at all.” He smirked at me and turned to walk into the sparring area. For a long time, I tried to bury myself in different things to stay busy. I spent a period of time engrossed in video games, followed by indulging in alcohol and partying. Eventually, I found that training was the best way for me to work through stuff. It kept my mind focused, but also allowed me to work out the anger that filled me up all too often. I was struggling to get by some days, and all for something that was never my fault. It wasn’t fair, but it’s the hand I was dealt so I’m doing my best to try to get through it.

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All too often, I stared out the window, hoping for a glimpse of her. I have pictures of her hidden in my desk, but nothing compared to seeing her in person. At night, she seemed to enjoy sitting out on the porch swing reading a book. Every night this week, I found her sitting there for hours. She always had her nose buried in a book growing up. It’s nice to see that hasn’t changed. I am dying to see her up close. Watching her like some creep through my window wasn’t enough. Josh started fixing up that house for her at the beginning of the summer. I had months to prepare for her being back, yet I still couldn’t seem to figure out how to feel about it. I was desperate for her to come home for so long, but it was easier when she was away. My only access to her being a cell phone made staying away a little easier. Not that I hadn’t contemplated driving up to her school many nights, telling her everything and demanding she return home. But now she was less than a mile from me and it still felt like torture.

She hadn’t stepped foot in the packhouse or on the training grounds to give me a reason to run into her. I tried to find reasons to be almost everywhere for the chance to run into her. I couldn’t bring myself to just go to her house and knock on the door. She was clearly staying away from here for a reason, and I doubt she was avoiding her parents. I wasn’t even sure what I would say to her when it did happen. I’m sure she was angry with me and I could say sorry all I wanted, but I couldn’t explain to her why I did what I did, so it doesn’t matter.

Josh is going over to have dinner with her tonight. He is probably my best chance at getting her to talk to me. But he is also worried that she isn’t ready to handle being home and facing me and that she will leave again. I’m supposed to be meeting my dad, Josh and Jackson in my dad’s office, but I have no interest in going to this meeting today. We were trying to wrap up all of the legal paperwork that would need to be done for me to take over the pack. It’s less than three months away and we will need everything filed to sign over the properties we own to me as well as our businesses that we run in the human world. We own quite a bit of property outside of the pack and a few other investments, along with our security business. When I assume control, I will legally inherit all the properties we own, including our businesses. I sighed and turned away from the window to head over to my dad’s office.

“You’re late,” he growled when I walked into the room. “How are you supposed to take over this pack when you can’t even make it to a meeting on time?” He ridiculed me. I was so used to it that it didn’t even phase me. I don’t think I will ever measure up to what he expected of me.

“I got caught up with something,” I lied and looked at Josh. He had a knowing look in his eyes. Josh was very aware of how hard all of this had been on me. When he should have been mad because I was the reason for his daughter’s pain, he was compassionate and understanding.

“Tyler, did you want to talk to the boys about that hotel you were thinking of purchasing?” Josh asked. I nodded to him in appreciation, knowing he purposely moved my dad along to save me a lecture.

“Oh, yes. I’ve been negotiating a property in town that’s currently an average hotel. I think we could turn it around, add a few things and offer luxury accommodations. The revenue would be incredible for the pack, but it also offers us a place for outside accommodation if we ever need it for any reason,” he explained.

“Okay, so sounds like a perfect opportunity. What do you need from me?” I asked. When explaining, he made it clear that the deal would never be in his name, but would instead be in mine. He wanted Jackson and me to head the project and find someone to manage the hotel. He continued explaining the details and I struggled to concentrate on his words, so I simply agreed when it was necessary for me to respond.