Well, Come Then! (Dare You to Move #2)

Chapter 15

Nang imulat ni Dean ang mga mata niya nang umagang iyon, ang una niyang naisip ay, “Ano kaya ang pakiramdam na may nagmamahal sayo?”. Napakunot siya agad sa naisip. He had no idea where that thought came from.

Bumangon siya saka humikab at nag-inat. Bintana ang una niyang nakita. Kahit nakahawi ang puting Venetian blinds, alam niyang mataas na rin ang araw dahil sa nakakasilaw na mga patsi-patsi ng liwanag na tumatagos doon.

Then, he looked to the left, at nakita niya ang tatlong hilera ng kamang inokyupa ng mga kabanda nila. Ciel was on the left most, while Keaton and Lukas were occupying the right one. Tulog pa ang tatlo. Ang lakas pa nga ng hilik nina Lukas at Ciel.

Meanwhile, the bed in the middle was already made.

Luminga-linga si Dean. There was no sign of Isaac.

Nasaan kaya iyon? Isip niya habang umaalis sa kama. The cold wind made him shiver when it touched his bare skin on the legs, pero sinawalang-bahala niya iyon.

Lumapit siya sa banyo at binuksan iyon. Doon niya nadatnan si Isaac na nagsesepilyo. Napatingin pa nga sa kanya ang lalaki.

“Nandyan ka lang pala,” sabi niya saka lumapit sa sink. Umusog naman ang lalaki habang siya’y binuksan ang faucet at mabilis na nagmumog. “Akala ko naman kung saan ka nagpunta, ay.”

Dinura ni Isaac ang bula mula sa bibig nito sa lavatory. “Saan naman ako pupunta?” tanong nito saka nagmumog.

Nagkibit-balikat siya. “Ewan. Malay mo, gusto mo na palang umalis sa grupo, at ginamit mo ang pagkakataong ito para mag-AWOL.”

He meant that hypothetically, but for whatever reason, it made Isaac frown. Mabilis nitong niluwa ang tubig.

“I’m not going anywhere, Dean. There’s no way I’ll do that,” sabi nito habang pinapatay ang gripo. Nilamas nito ang ilalim ng mukha para alisin ang mga tubig doon saka muling nagsalita. “I’m enjoying my stay here in the group. Masaya akong kasama kayong nagpe-perform. And besides…” He stopped and left his mouth hanging for a few seconds saka nito iyon sinara.

“Besides…?”

Isaac looked away, his lips puckered to the left as if he was reluctant to say something.

Nang lumipas ang ilang segundo at wala itong sinabi, umiling-iling na lang si Dean at nagdesisyong isawalang-bahala. Sa halip, kinuha niya ang toothbrush niyang iniwan niya sa lavatory at nagsimulang magsepilyo.

“Nakalimutan mo na ba ang sinabi ko sayo kagabi?”

Bigla siyang nasamid. Mabilis niyang dinura ang bula.

“What the hell, Isaac? Hindi ka talaga titigil?” angil niya sa lalaki. Kasabay niyon ay ang biglang pagtibok ng t***k ng puso niya.

Kasunod naman niyon ay naalala niya ang ganap kagabi:

“May iba akong gustong matutunan, Dean,” bulong nito sa masayang boses. “At iyon ay ang mahalin ka.”

There was a few seconds of silence before Dean broke it by forcing himself to laugh.

“Tang ina ka, Isaac. Tigilan mo nga. Ang corny mo,” aniya habang naiiling-iling. Yet deep inside, ramdam niyang nagkakarambulan ang lamang-loob niya. He didn’t know why but that statement really made him jitter.

And to make the matter worse, biglang sumeryoso ang mukha ni Isaac. Pagkatapos, bumuntonghininga ito saka kumiling sa metal railing.

“I wish I’m joking. But I’m not,” saad nito sa mahinang boses. His voice was so low that Dean doubted if he heard it right. “Nalilito rin ako ngayon, Dean.”

Natigilan siya saka napaatras ng isang hakbang.

Muling ibinaling ni Isaac ang tingin sa kanya. “I’m confused right now, Dean. I didn’t consider it until now, but I think… I think…” Pumikit ito saka huminga nang malalim.

Tapos, tumayo ito muli nang tuwid. Nang magtama ang tingin nila, muling napalunok si Dean. Isaac’s eyes were burning with passion, like a mighty warrior ready to shed blood to prove his loyalty to his kinship.

Muli siyang natorete. May ideya na siya kung saan ito hahantong, at hindi niya alam kung paano ang gagawin. He had no recollection of dealing with such a situation before.

But before he could make a move, Isaac grabbed him by the waist, tugging him until their bodies collided. Then, his bandmate’s right hand glided across his back while the other one through his hair and pulled him even closer until there was no more space between them.

Dean, on the other hand, was visibly confused with goosebumps crawling all over his skin. Hindi niya alam kung anong gagawin -- kung itutulak ba ito o yayakapin din. He was just standing there petrified, as Isaac’s scent attacked his nose, clouding his senses.

“You don’t have to give me an answer right now, Dean,” maya-maya’y bulong na lang ni Isaac. “I just want you to know how I feel. I’m sure you can hear my heart beat right now, and that’s enough for you to know what I meant.” Pinatagilid nito ang ulo niya nang sa gayon ay lumapat ang kaliwang tenga niya sa dibdib nito. Naramdaman nga niya ang mabilis na pagtibok ng puso nito.

Without realizing it, unti-unti niyang niyapos si Isaac. Hindi rin niya alam kung bakit. Kusa lang ding gumalaw ang katawan niya.

He’s warm, was his immediate thought. The cold wind from the sea blew stronger, yet Dean felt no coldness. The proximity with Isaac eased it; every cell of his body welcomed this guy’s heat like an old friend.

He closed his eyes and savored this moment. Ang sarap pala sa pakiramdam na may nakayakap siya.

Pero pagkakataon nga naman. Bigla siyang inilayo ni Isaac.

“Bakit--” He almost blurted, kung hindi lang niya naramdamang may tao palang iba bukod sa kanila ni Isaac sa smoking area. Bigla na namang tumibok ng malakas ang puso niya dala ng kaba.

Thankfully, it was just Lukas. Bagaman nagsasalitan ang tingin nito sa kanila at mukhang nagtataka sa nadatnan, napanatag pa rin si Dean, palibhasa’y hindi naman ito estranghero na maaaring magdulot ng kontrobersya.

“Bakit, p’re?” tanong ni Isaac na bumasag sa nakakabinging katahimikan sa pagitan nilang tatlo. Nilabas nito ang pakete ng Malboro Gold mula sa bulsa. “Yosi?” alok nito sa bagong dating.

Agad namang inabot iyon ni Lukas at kumuha ng isang stick. Inabutan din ito ni Isaac ng lighter.

“Kumusta ka naman, Lukas?” tanong ni Isaac habang hinihithit ng rapper nila ang bagong sinding sigarilyo. “Masaya ka bang nasabi mo na kay Keaton ang mga gumugulo sa isip mo?”

Napakamot naman ito ng ulo. “Truth be told, it was… I don’t know. Surreal, I guess?” Napailing-iling pa si Lukas saka muling humithit. “Sa totoo lang, hindi ko rin kasi inaasahan na iyon pala ang explanation sa nararamdaman ko kay Keaton. Na all this time, I’m attracted to him. I never considered that feeling, until you all made it clear.”

“Sus, hindi ka ba talaga aware?” kantiyaw ni Isaac. “Or in denial ka lang talaga?”

Hindi na sumagot si Lukas. Pero nangamatis ang pisngi nito, at naging dahilan iyon para paulanan ito ni Isaac ng kantiyaw.

As for Dean, he slowly backed away. When he was sure the two were engrossed with their conversation, he quickly fled the scene. Kahit nakabawas sa alalahanin niyang si Lukas lang ang nakahuli sa kanya, hindi pa rin siya tuluyang kumakalma.

He went back to their room. Nadatnan niyang nag-uusap sina Ciel at Keaton. Mukhang masinsinan iyon kaya hindi na niya inabala ang dalawa. Dumiretso siya agad sa toilet.

Gaya kanina, hinilamusan niya ang mukha para pakalmahin ang sarili. Then, with droplets of water dripping down from his face, he looked at his reflection.

What the f**k just happened? was all he could think of.

He closed his eyes. Instantly, the memory of him in Isaac’s arms flashed in his mind. Parang naaamoy pa rin niya ito. Pati ang init nito, parang nakatatak pa rin sa balat niya.

Dumilat siya. Niyakap niya ang sarili. Dahan-dahan siyang napaluhod sa mamasa-masang tiles sa banyo.

The feeling was nice. Hindi naman niya iyon itatanggi.

But why does it scare him?

Napakurap-kurap si Dean matapos niyang sariwain ang nangyari kagabi. Isaac and he didn’t have a chance to continue where they stopped earlier. Pagkalabas kasi niya ng banyo, dumiretso na siya ng tulog.

So maybe that’s why Isaac mentioned it again.

Napabuga na lang ng hangin si Dean. The most logical thing to do was probably just evade the topic.

Pero nang tapusin ang pagto-toothbrush at tinangka niyang umalis, pinigilan siya ni Isaac na umalis sa pamamagitan ng paghila ng braso niya. Mahigpit ang paghawak nito at medyo nasaktan siya. At nang salubungin niya ang tingin nito, seryoso iyon.

Napalunok na naman tuloy siya. This was the first time he saw Isaac to be this persistent. Well, actually that’s not quite accurate. Naranasan na niya ang pagmamatigas nito noon, but that was when he was still had a bad blood on Lukas. Understandable ang reaksyon nito dahil nais lang nitong proteksyunan ang kabanda nila mula sa maiitim niyang balak.

But this one was different. Nag-confess sa kanya si Isaac. And this persistence… It looked like he was demanding for an answer now. Pero hindi ba taliwas iyon sa sinabi nito kagabi na hindi niya kailangang sumagot agad? So why the obstinacy?

Dean’s ocean of thoughts was interrupted when he heard Isaac sighed. Tapos, unti-unti siyang binitiwan nito.

“Sabi ko nga pala sayo, hindi mo kailangang sumagot agad,” sabi nito saka umiwas ng tingin. “So who am I to rush you?”

“Y-Yeah.”

Then, there was an awkward silence between them. Nanatili ang tingin ni Dean kay Isaac. He was so unsure what to do, though. Gusto niyang magsalita, but he had no idea what to say either.

Kaya sa huli, napabuga na lang siya ng hangin. “I… well…” He scratched the back of his head. “Sa totoo lang, hindi ko talaga alam ang sasabihin ko. I’m too… surprised, I guess?”

Muling sinalubong ni Isaac ang tingin niya. “O, bakit naman?”

“Because…” Dean bit his lips as his gesture of reluctance to speak. “I guess, hindi ko lang talaga inasahan na magkakagusto ka sakin. And it caught me off guard.”

Tapos, napailing-iling siya. “Alam mo, Isaac, tama talaga ang impression ko sa iyo noon pa. You’re too unpredictable. You used to hate me, tapos biglang ngayon, umamin ka na sakin,” paliwanag niya. “If you’re a fictional character, you're a badly written one.”

Biglang natawa si Isaac sa sinabi niya. “And so you are, Dean,” sagot naman nito. “Napaka-inconsistent mo rin.”

Natigilan siya. “Ha?” naguguluhang aniya.

“You normally have a strong persona. Intimidating. Controlling. Inconsiderate, if I’m being nice. That’s you, Dean.” Tapos, ngumisi ito. “Ikaw ang tipo ng taong ginagawa ang gusto niya, at hindi papayag na nasasapawan.”

Bahagyang kumunot ang noo niya. “Yes? That’s me. What about it?”

“But you’re not when you’re around me. And I wonder why?”

Ilang ulit siyang napakurap. “Ha?”

Natawa ito saka umiling-iling. “Tell me, Dean, nagawa mo na bang umiyak sa harapan ng iba?”

Nang marinig niya iyon ay tila nagimbal ang sistema niya. Memories of him showing his weakness on Isaac replayed in his mind. Oo nga naman. Nang minsang sabihin ni Isaac na masyado siyang nilalamon ng galit at pangarap niya, umiyak siya noon dahil naisip niyang tama nga ito. Then, he even invited him to go to his grandparents’ mausoleum -- the only place on Earth where he feels safe.

Napalunok siya. Bakit nga ba siya naging ganito bigla kay Isaac?

Kinuha ni Isaac ang isa niyang kamay. “But you don’t have to answer that, Dean. Wag mo ring isipin nang isipin. I like this version of you better.” Hinagkan nito ang kamay niya.

Tapos, nilipat nito ang kamay sa kaliwang pisngi niya. “And as for last night, gano’n din. You don’t have to answer yet. Just think about it. Pag-isipang mong mabuti ang sinabi ko. And evaluate your feelings to me. Then, once you’re ready, come to me and say your answer. For now…”

Dean’s swallowing muscles moved almost involuntary nang unti-unti nitong inilapit ang mukha sa kanya. When Isaac closed his eyes and reached for his lips, all he could think of was savoring this moment. The slow and soft movement provided satisfaction he never thought would experience. The sensation was so great that he was immediately disappointed when Isaac stopped.

“I’ll wait for your answer, okay?” sabi nito kasunod ng matipid na ngiti at pagkindat. Tapos, kinuha nito ang toothbrush saka lumabas ng banyo.

Dean followed him with his gaze, his right hand was touching the portion of his lips where he last felt Isaac’s touch. He could feel his heartbeat stammering hard against his chest again.

Tang ina, isip na lang niya habang humihinga nang malalim. Ba’t ang sarap sa feeling?

Nagdesisyon siyang maghilamos na rin. At sa buong sandaling ginagawa niya iyon, hindi maalis ang ngiti niya…