After the Breakup

Taking Risks

Khalil’s POV

I had been here in Osaka for two days and still undecided on what I will do next.  My meetings with the farm owners are scheduled next week so I have this week to explore the place.  I checked on Klook for options and decided to just go for a day in USJ. I had only been to Ferrari World in Abu Dhabi and want to check how different they will be. The adrenaline rush from the rollercoaster ride could be cool or maybe just spend halfday there and just rest in the hotel after. The past months had been busy at the farm and I could use some time to relax.

So I booked a ticket for USJ and decided to get an express pass as well. I don’t really want to waste much time falling in line so that will help maximize the time I spend there, especially if I just decided to stay half a day.

I dropped by Starbucks after boarding off the train to grab some breakfast when I saw her. Something about her caught my attention.  Is it because she’s alone and seem to be enjoying her alone time? Or is it because she looks beautiful in her pink pullover?  She is just a little taller than 5 feet, fair skinned, her beautiful face exudes innocence, and her slightly plump lips is one that most man would probably want to kiss. I sat near her, just watching her as she eats her croissant and drink her coffee. I watched her as she walked out of the coffee shop towards USJ and tried to follow her when I finished my breakfast.

I felt like a stalker as I followed her but there seem to be a magnet that draws me to her. I don’t really do this. As a Muslim, we have strict rules when it comes to relationships and contact with the opposite s*x. One major thing will be that there should be no contact until we are married, or to start with, the girl who will be my girlfriend should also be the girl that I will marry. Having grown up in Canada, we have adapted some of the Western ways of life but still upholds Muslim values and practice our religion quite diligently. I followed her until she entered the Flying Dinosaur. I was behind her but she seem to be occupied that she didn’t even see me.

Insha Allah, I felt excited to see that we will most likely be sitting next to each other.  When it’s time to board, she saw me looking at her so I tried to smile but was getting some nerves so I wasn’t sure if that came out as an actual smile.  I saw the hesitation on her face if she will smile back so I just content myself to sit beside her, constantly tempted to look at her as we rode the rollercoaster. Then I saw how she started crying, I’m really not sure why. Good thing I have my unused hanky in the zipped pocket of my jacket.  I struggled a bit to get it since we’re still in the rollercoaster and there’s this protective mechanism that prevents us from moving too much.  I almost missed the timing since we are very near the end of the ride, but good thing I got it before it’s too late and handed it over to her.  I know this is my only chance to approach her without scaring her off.  She doesn’t seem to be the type who will be too friendly with strangers. There’s a certain aloofness about her that I know she won’t engage in a conversation with me until I gain her trust.

She seem to have lost her balance when she was about to disembark so I had to hold her arm so she won’t trip.  I saw her mouthed thank you and rushed towards the exit.  I followed her still, hoping to get a chance to introduce myself. Then she turned. She almost bumped into me but good thing I was able to step back before she did. She offered to return my hanky and seem to have felt embarrassed about using it. Then, I got the chance to introduce myself, she shook my hands but rushed towards the exit.  I already have one chance so I decided to push a little further. If she takes it, good but if not, then I will probably just push through with my plan to go back to the hotel by lunch.

It took all my guts to ask her to keep me company for the day and it surprised me a bit that she accepted.  We shook hands and I just couldn’t let go of her hand after that.  I feel like I am craving to be close to her and that’s exactly what I am planned to do.

I learned that she just had her heart broken.  I did not really want to know the details. What’s important is that I now have a mission to make her forget whoever it is that hurt her. It’s probably a risk that I won’t regret taking.  I know some of my actions can be considered sins in my religion and I will have to repent afterwards but the feelings I am having for her is too strong that I know I have to do something about it otherwise, I will regret it my entire life. Probably better if I end up marrying her, but it is too soon for that but definitely something that is not completely out of the picture.  

Getting along with Kate was easy.  It happened naturally.  It feels like we have the same interests and we cannot deny the chemistry between us.  The past days had been proof of such chemistry though her, asking to go home directly from Nara got me worried. I had the fear that she is about to end what we started but it happened to be that she’s just as scared as I am to lose what we have.

I had been trying to restrain myself from doing anything more than kiss her.  She has just been through a heartache and the fact that we will both have to go back to our home countries and not see each other will definitely bring out some of her fears. I don’t want her to regret taking the risk with me and mess up the memories we just built.  

It’s her last day today and that desire to be closer to her, that yearning to be with her has gotten stronger.  It took all of me not to do anything beyond kissing and cuddling.  I watched her as she slept in my hotel bed.  Trying to memorize every detail of her face.  I kissed her forehead one last time and decided to take a walk outside.